Hello romancelanders,
I'm actually a ghost reader on romance section and i never knew a day would come where i would be asking for a possible solution to a relationship problem.

A close friend of mine is on a brink of a failed relationship. Ok this is what happened, she called me last night lamenting on the phone and told me she can't continue her relationship reasons because her fiance was too authoritative and a commanding person. My friend isn't ready to tolerate that kind of a man in marriage even after 3years they have been dating she believes that such behaviour is a red flag that can't be ignored. She has talked to him about this behaviour of his numerous times but it seems he is not willing to change. I am just worried for my friend because they have come a long way and they have even done introduction.
But i think only her knows where the shoes hurts because i have adviced her to be patient and not to announce her decision to his fiance.
Please i need candid advice i don't mind showing her different takes here, anything just to help my friend save her relationship.

My dear. I am handling several of such relationships I counsel her to run as fast as a cheetah. Such men never improve or better their weakness. Never. It only deteriorates. Singleness is better than accepting such men in relationships. Better don't counsel her to be patient. When right persons come, out of love they'll always strive to be better and there won't be pressure or tension. Funke Akindele and JJC is your prime example as against her earlier relationships.

Challenging economy

Broken relationship is better than broken Marriage. It's better to be late than living in regrets. She should go for whom makes her happy, you don't endure Marriage, you enjoy it.

Even though we all know that your friend is you but it's ok.

Marry your best friend. Marry who makes you happy always not someone who only smiles when he wants to put his 1 for your 0

Well marry when you are financial stable, build a house, get a car, be comfortable and have investment laying down, then you can get a wife for yourself, she can either make your life better or worst but to know that you have a hidden in somewhere, incase thr most terrible incident happen to you then you will be able to survive... Relationship and marriage of this century is called try your luck..

I have seen a beautiful marriage and later they where like a broken magnet never to be together again I dont even understand thd difference between love and hate is like they are the same... Hmm

naija too hard and we too like play for this country all in d name of catching cruise..
dt same cruise don scatter so many relationship

Jupoc:
My dear. I am handling several of such relationships I counsel her to run as fast as a cheetah. Such men never improve or better their weakness. Never. It only deteriorates. Singleness is better than accepting such men in relationships. Better don't counsel her to be patient. When right persons come, out of love they'll always strive to be better and there won't be pressure or tension. Funke Akindele and JJC is your prime example as against her earlier relationships.

Mr. Counsellor...wait before u go about spoiling peoples relationship because u want to sound caring to your clients..have you heard from the lady herself to know what she terms authoritative..? Did you hear from the man..? Havent experience thought you that intending couples tend to be gittery about their patners just before marriages..or you have never heard that women suddenly dump guyz because they got a hint on somone else percieved better even at the die minutes....

That is how people like you (mr. Advicers killed my 3years reltionship by making my girl believ i feel entitled whilst you people havent even herd from me or know my personalities before)

Becareful what you advice these ladies cuz They gat no brain and can swallow some dangerous ill thought advices with hook and sinker

[quote author=Jupoc post=102592950]My dear. I am handling several of such relationships I counsel her to run as fast as a cheetah. Such men never improve or better their weakness. Never. It only deteriorates. Singleness is better than accepting such men in relationships. Better don't counsel her to be patient. When right persons come, out of love they'll always strive to be better and there won't be pressure or tension. Funke Akindele and JJC is your prime example as against her earlier relationships.





Did you know if because Funke has learnt her lesson to be submissive that's why the latter marriage is working now?

How did you know that the first man is a dictator? Are marriages failures cause by dictatorial tendencies alone?

Relationship fails because of so many reasons on the part of both partners.

Money.
Non companionship.
Cultural differences .
Indiscipline from both sides.
Lack of understanding among others.

Tinatones001:
Hello romancelanders,
I'm actually a ghost reader on romance section and i never knew a day would come where i would be asking for a possible solution to a relationship problem.

A close friend of mine is on a brink of a failed relationship. Ok this is what happened, she called me last night lamenting on the phone and told me she can't continue her relationship reasons because her fiance was too authoritative and a commanding person. My friend isn't ready to tolerate that kind of a man in marriage even after 3years they have been dating she believes that such behaviour is a red flag that can't be ignored. She has talked to him about this behaviour of his numerous times but it seems he is not willing to change. I am just worried for my friend because they have come a long way and they have even done introduction.
But i think only her knows where the shoes hurts because i have adviced her to be patient and not to announce her decision to his fiance.
Please i need candid advice i don't mind showing her different takes here, anything just to help my friend save her relationship.

If such guy is good, financially capable to finance marriage and a disciplined man, even if he is authoritarian as you claimed, I will advice you your friend to hold on to him tightly, let ur friend adjusts to make the relationship workable, such men are the best husbands for women. Ofcourse for a wife who wants to enjoy and last in her marriage.

The guy might be a disciplined man but for ur friend to misinterprete him as a dictator.

........ guy who said he don't want his wife to move with particular group of persons in other not to corrupt her.
........man who told his wife not to stay outside beyond 7pm
........guy who instructs his fiancee not to have male bestie.
.......husband who tells her woman to be caution enough on frivolous spendings. (aso-ebi) etc.

When a guy portraits these attributes, they are not dictorial tendencies but disiplined on his part to make his marriage workable, but to many ladies they mis-interprete it to wickedness and authoritatively most especially wayward and uncultured girls.

Tell your friend to complain to a friend that she knows that the fiance respects. The friend should summon a meeting involving the three of them and everything will be ironed out.

Goldbw122:
Well marry when you are financial stable, build a house, get a car, be comfortable and have investment laying down, then you can get a wife for yourself, she can either make your life better or worst but to know that you have a hidden in somewhere, incase thr most terrible incident happen to you then you will be able to survive... Relationship and marriage of this century is called try your luck..

I have seen a beautiful marriage and later they where like a broken magnet never to be together again I dont even understand thd difference between love and hate is like they are the same... Hmm

off point,

Hmmm!
I don't know why our women (especially our young ladies) don't want to be wifed but still desperately in search of a husband.

Am I the only who has observed that these same women wants to be a wife and also the Boss of the relationship (either marriage or not). Which we all know isn't gonna be possible especially in a black man's culture.
They'll be the one's making the rules and you (the guy) simply being the man ignores her for the woman she is, would just give a simple rule and booom she starts ranting and before you Know she wants to breakup. She now feels you are being unfair.

Tell that your friend to breakup with the innocent man and come back after 3-6 months begging to be accepted. Pls accompany her oo because I know for sure her kind of woman won't get another that easily anymore again.

I just pray the guy would still be available when that grace period exhausts.

Very annoying good for nothing generation of women. Dem wan see person ynash finish.

I go deal with this women eeeh!!!

Dey are just extremely annoying but what can we do than just to manage dem.[color=#990000][/color]

Materialism

Tinatones001:
Hello romancelanders,
I'm actually a ghost reader on romance section and i never knew a day would come where i would be asking for a possible solution to a relationship problem.

A close friend of mine is on a brink of a failed relationship. Ok this is what happened, she called me last night lamenting on the phone and told me she can't continue her relationship reasons because her fiance was too authoritative and a commanding person. My friend isn't ready to tolerate that kind of a man in marriage even after 3years they have been dating she believes that such behaviour is a red flag that can't be ignored. She has talked to him about this behaviour of his numerous times but it seems he is not willing to change. I am just worried for my friend because they have come a long way and they have even done introduction.
But i think only her knows where the shoes hurts because i have adviced her to be patient and not to announce her decision to his fiance.
Please i need candid advice i don't mind showing her different takes here, anything just to help my friend save her relationship.

What does she bring to the table Nyash or brains. What you said there happens when she doesn't have anything to offer, she should focus on self development.

Fiscus105:



If such guy is good, financially capable to finance marriage and a disciplined man, even if he is authoritarian, I will advice you your friend to hold on to him tightly, let ur friend adjusts to make the relationship workable, they are the best husbands for women.

The guy might be a disciplined man but for ur friend to misinterprete him as a dictator.

........ guy who said he don't want his wife to move with particular group of persons in other not to corrupt her.
........guy who told his wife not to stay outside beyond 7pm
........guy who instruct his fiancee not to have male bestie
.......husband who tells her woman to be caution enough on frivolous spendings. (aso-ebi)

When a guy portraits these attributes, they are not doctorial tendencies but disiplined on his part to make his marriage workable, but so many ladies will mis-interprete it to wickedness and authoritatively most especially wayward and uncultured girls.

I owe you a bottle of beer! Women believe in romantic fairytale based on the crap movies that they watch.
Is the man providing for stuff?
What is bad in saying yes to your man? He is your man. Why must these modern ladies think that marriage must be a competition of egos? Marriage involves sacrifice and duty!

Better stay there if the man is doing his job as a husband.

bigpicture001:


Mr. Counsellor...wait before u go about spoiling peoples relationship because u want to sound caring to your clients..have you heard from the lady herself to know what she terms authoritative..? Did you hear from the man..? Havent experience thought you that intending couples tend to be gittery about their patners just before marriages..or you have never heard that women suddenly dump guyz because they got a hint on somone else percieved better even at the die minutes....

That is how people like you (mr. Advicers killed my 3years reltionship by making my girl believ i feel entitled whilst you people havent even herd from me or know my personalities before)

Becareful what you advice these ladies cuz They gat no brain and can swallow some dangerous ill thought advices with hook and sinker

true bro. True

What ladies called authoritative is just a man who is confident and goes for what he believes is true.

Ladies easily get intimidated by such guys. They want a weak guy who they will be controlling hence the tag he is authoritative.

Ladies get this. What you need is a decisive man not a confused man that you will control. That confidence is being mistaken to be authoritativeness which is not.

A man being confident in a relationship doesn't make him a bad man. There are amazing qualities of a confident man. A confident man doesn't give in to fear easily. He thinks smartly and he is always conscious of everything he does. He sees beyond the present and always profer solutions to problems even before such problems arise.

If you are with a confident man which most of you always misunderstood to be authoritativeness, you will hardly get confused when it comes to decision making.

Never mistake confidence for authoritativeness. You are simply feeling intimidated by his level of confidence. What you should do is to match up to his confidence, try and see things from a diverse view and stopped feeling intimidated.

If he gives order, it is because that's the right thing to do and most times a lady will think such a man is being authoritative. Would you prefer a man who will see you go astray without cautioning you or the one that will caution you and give you directions when he sees that you are going astray? Definitely the second man, but the thing is that, majority of ladies will think such a man who is cautioning them to stay away from a particular thing or trying to direct them is authoritative.

Do you see where the issue is coming from?


cc:

Tinatones001

Jupoc

One sided.

my dear ur "friend" is js looking 4 a weaker man to perfect her manipulation games on.
nothing scares women more than a firm strong willed man that can't easily be manipulated emotionally.. financially nd sexually...
when a woman comes across such a strong man..she runs off after a while in search of a weaker man 2 play her little tricks on
cus women js can't do without manipulation games..infact they live for it..

Fiscus105:



If such guy is good, financially capable to finance marriage and a disciplined man, even if he is authoritarian, I will advice you your friend to hold on to him tightly, let ur friend adjusts to make the relationship workable, they are the best husbands for women.

The guy might be a disciplined man but for ur friend to misinterprete him as a dictator.

........ guy who said he don't want his wife to move with particular group of persons in other not to corrupt her.
........guy who told his wife not to stay outside beyond 7pm
........guy who instructs his fiancee not to have male bestie
.......husband who tells her woman to be caution enough on frivolous spendings. (aso-ebi)

When a guy portraits these attributes, they are not dictorial tendencies but disiplined on his part to make his marriage workable, but so many ladies will mis-interprete it to wickedness and authoritatively most especially wayward and uncultured girls.

You've said it all my guy, mostly when women describes a man as being 'toxic' or authoritative, this is what they actually mean. They want a man who will tolerate their nonsense.

TheUndercover:

You've said it all my guy, mostly when women describes a man as being 'toxic' or authoritative, this is what they actually mean. They want a man who will tolerate their nonsense.

If you do statistics of single mother who are neither widows nor diaspora wives, you will see that lager % of them are the one who loose good men who don't tolerate nonsense or those who choosed to follow indesciplined guy in first place.

Your friend should neither allow anyone to gaslight her to doom nor conceitedly or ignorantly mislead herself. An authoritative/commanding/domineering man shouldn't be equated to a principled and confident man, as many have made it seem, thereby trying to gaslight her to doom. Also, she should be truthful to herself and be sure that she hasn't mistaken a principled and confident man for an authoritative/commanding/domineering man due to her delight in evil/weak ethical leanings.

If she's coming from the place of strong ethical leanings, then an authoritative/commanding/domineering man isn't good for her, while if she is coming from the place of weak ethical leanings, she doesn't deserve a principled and confident man and should make do with a servile man (if she needs who to oppress) or an authoritative/commanding/domineering man (if she enjoys fight or oppression).

purpulrain:
Materialism

Your monicker is fine. Sounds nice, although I don't like the spelling. I just love the image it evoked in my head.
Purple rain.
Red rain.
Green winds. Yellow gusts of hail... lol. Black sleet and raging indigo seas... Sorry. I was carried away.

Your friend should neither allow anyone to gaslight her to doom nor conceitedly or ignorantly mislead herself. An authoritative/commanding/domineering man shouldn't be equated to a principled and confident man, as many have made it seem, thereby trying to gaslight her to doom. Also, she should be truthful to herself and be sure that she hasn't mistaken a principled and confident man for an authoritative/commanding/domineering man due to her delight in evil/weak ethical leanings.

If she's coming from the place of strong ethical leanings, then an authoritative/commanding/domineering man isn't good for her, while if she is coming from the place of weak ethical leanings, she doesn't deserve a principled and confident man and should make do with a servile man (if she needs who to oppress) or an authoritative/commanding/domineering man (if she enjoys fight or oppression).

Lobatan! Ah. O ga ju. *whips ever-reliable relationship-tips-jotting spiral notebook from thin air and scribbles furiously.*

In general,

Life is getting harder for Men and relationships getting tougher on women. I don't see an end in sight soon till the end of time.

Also, women have evolved. The woman today is different from the woman generations ago, and Men have not evolved as much.

Just pray, listen to your intuition.

RightToReject:
Your friend should neither allow anyone to gaslight her to doom nor conceitedly or ignorantly mislead herself. An authoritative/commanding/domineering man shouldn't be equated to a principled and confident man, as many have made it seem, thereby trying to gaslight her to doom. Also, she should be truthful to herself and be sure that she hasn't mistaken a principled and confident man for an authoritative/commanding/domineering man due to her delight in evil/weak ethical leanings.

If she's coming from the place of strong ethical leanings, then an authoritative/commanding/domineering man isn't good for her, while if she is coming from the place of weak ethical leanings, she doesn't deserve a principled and confident man and should make do with a servile man (if she needs who to oppress) or an authoritative/commanding/domineering man (if she enjoys fight or oppression).

OP. THIS!!! IGNORE OTHER BIASED COMMENTS. THIS COMMENT IS BALANCED.

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

Your friend doesn't have a problem, her marriage is fine.
The husband is doing well.