I've come to realize that it's only a man who's not ready to settle down that finds fault in every woman they meet.
When a man is ready, he can get a wife from the women in his past, the women in his area, at his work place or in the church or even from the streets.
A man who's ready to marry can decide that lady that has dated for 4yrs who has practically done wifely duties for him and worshiped him is not good enough for him.
A man who's ready to settle down might meet s girl today and next month they are getting married.
A man who's ready doesn't do testing, tasting or behavioral analysis for 2yrs just to know the girl better.
When a man is ready to settle down, you will be surprised how he does that within months and overlook some thinks he took serious when he was still thinking whether to marry or not to marry.
So all this talk of she likes money, she doesn't know how to cook, she has bad character comes from those who are not ready..
The truth is when you find the ONE, you won't have to pretend to be poor or rich to win their love.

ford101:
when you say a man has absolutely nothing, please what do you mean.

Let me give a practical example
So I have someone I know who I'd say has been static for year's, who's been disrespected severally and I'm like "guy, nothing will change and as close as we are,I won't pray for any woman to be with you in this condition, you'll be wasting each others time,you need to do........,be progressive even if it's in one life aspect,if she ditches you tomorrow,I won't fault her at all.
We need to understand that some people are comfortable in their insufficiencies and lack the dexterity to take actions and life changing Risk's..
Life is calculative at times,a man who has no plot on how to go about being successful and only saying Lucra... Don't worry when I buy my Benz, we'll do .., I tell him point blank,dude stop dreaming,wake up,if you continue like this,you won't even buy Bicycle.

jy2kbeyond:



You can imagine a daughter of Eve's perception. Gawd!

This is how I feel about myself and about life
If I have nothing, I'm nothing

Lucrativress:

When people go vulgar,I only see someone who has nothing intelligent to say
So I pass
Thank you

you went vulgar when you called men worthless. You biitchhth

Lucrativress:

How remarkable that you're Abroad and you've chosen to know only one side of life.
Seems men cry more when they're jilted...
So what do you say about the good women who stayed with a man in nothing and he jilted her after he had something?
What will you say Sir?
And women who built with men, succumbed and all,good women and were still dumped?
Understand something,penury doesn't always determine loyalty.
Last last all a good woman has to do is use her brains,gold diggers are getting married every Saturday,seems like it's the good ladies crying more on Alters
Do you know why?
Cause of less practicalities..
Stop deceiving yourself,you can call me whatever you feel like,it won't remove anything from who I know I am, I'm not mincing my word's..

Please aunty I was enjoying your argument,stay on track please.You are going into another dimension.

ford101:
so now that I have a girlfriend who I no is fucking other men.and I chose to endure all this cos I don't have much and think I shouldn't even be in a serious relationship.so if I make money now should I marry her?the ans is never.i ll never marry Grace Ahmadu

Devaluing yourself and wasting your time is what you're doing
She is not doing you any favour by staying with you when you don't have much.
Understand something,she staying with you when you don't have much doesn't determine she being a good woman,this is exactly the point I'm driving at.
What you're looking for in your spouse,her qualities is what determines "your good woman".
If only people mentioning me will just understand this..

It's quite unnecessary trying to downplay your social status just because you want to find out if a woman would love you for having next to nothing.

Even okada riders and shoemakers still have women who date/marry them.
And honestly, with the exception of that 'appearance of sophistication', there's really not much difference between women of different social classes.

If you feel the need to project a belittled image of yourself in order to attract a woman, then it's probably because you think you don't deserve that woman at her level.

All a man needs is his good intuition and the spirit of discernment. Once you've got these in ample supply, you will always know exactly why a woman loves you... ALWAYS.

truthsayer009:


I actually agree with you to a large extent, It's always people telling me money doesn't make a man but then, how do I get a roof over my wife's head. I do agree a combination of things make a man but If you have all things without money, you are still worthless to the world, so what's the point.

A man can have money and still be useless, toxic or money miss road as they call it, but not having money at all wouldn't even qualify you to be a man.

Thank you jare
A book that changed my substance reasoning is the book of Ecclesiastes
We just pick out what we want from the Bible,some of us don't even assimilate it,if the man "Solomon" the wisest man that ever lived spoke soo sparingly about substance and its importance,I wonder what normal mortals like us are feeling like when we've only seen an aspect of life and give our verdicts on life's dealings,smoke!
I'd choose a good smoke over a bad one
I'd pleasure in a good vanity over a bad one..
Because this is what makes life meaningful
Life is worthless without its pleasures which only substance can acquire..

ford101:
have u ever seen a visionless man?even a mad man has a vision.

You know why I like life?
Cause of its Oxymorons
You have the ones with visions and the ones without it
There is just much accomodations to opposites in life.
So yes there are people okay with just the way they are.. sufficient or not.

You can not hide who you really are. Your charisma, confidence, social status etc are all as a result of where you come from and what you've achieved in life. No matter how much you pretend, the ladies will smell the real you and that's what's gonna attract them or repel them.

Secondly, I doubt if there's any girl out there who doesn't want a better life. If a so called wife material is accepting a supposedly poor or average guy, it's solely because she doesn't have a better option at the moment and she may not want to lose the bird in hand. It's as simple as that.

crackhaus:
It's quite unnecessary trying to downplay your social status just because you want to find out if a woman would love you for having next to nothing.

Even okada riders and shoemakers still have women who date/marry them.
And honestly, with the exception of an appearance of sophistication, there's really not much difference between women of different social classes.

If you feel the need to project a belittled image of yourself in order to attract a woman, then it's probably because you think you don't deserve that woman at her level.

All a man needs is good intuition and the spirit of discernment. Once you've got these in ample supply, you will always know exactly why a woman loves you, ALWAYS.

It took you a while but...welcome.

Lucrativress:
[url][/url]
Imagine
Yes now
That's an expensive one
We're not kids here
She might have just missed a good man because of what oldienavie is pushing for.

I wonder oh.

Anazp:
you went vulgar when you called men worthless. You biitchhth

How do I explain this to you?
Okay I'd try my best
So I love Lavender,I think she's pretty,I heard she adds succulence to whatever she's put in.
It's about the gender thing right?
Well no, I'm worthless if I have absolutely nothing and it's consistent,does this make you better?
I understand your rebuff, hopefully you get my point now.
Thank you

oldienavie:


before she started complaining every day about her family problems to me and all that. That she lost her job and needed money to transport to the new job. I was especially put off by her family challenges.

She was a liability asking the man to spend on her and her family thats not the same as a man who lives very humbly and doesnt show off that he has huge wealth.

Nah, it seems you didn't get the gist of my story. Her family was actually doing fine as well as herself, but she made up those stories to 'test' if I was a husband material or something like that...
So the analogy is appropriate, I think.

jimmychang:



Please aunty I was enjoying your argument,stay on track please.You are going into another dimension.

Ahn ahn but you saw where he went to first na
I had to go his route too
Oya enjoy my argument back oo

LagosNissan:


I guess it makes no sense hiding one's potentials. It's as if one is seeking enlistment into the police as a msc holder yet presenting on SSCE.

This will make him a rank and file.

But he would have started from ASP if he presented his degrees.

Exactly. It's always better to exhibit your best attributes, I think. If the other person also measures up, then fine.
The idea of camouflaging to attract true love or something like that does not make sense to me. It'll make you lose out on good opportunities/people.

Lucrativress:

How remarkable that you're Abroad and you've chosen to know only one side of life.
Seems men cry more when they're jilted...
So what do you say about the good women who stayed with a man in nothing and he jilted her after he had something?
What will you say Sir?
And women who built with men, succumbed and all,good women and were still dumped?
Understand something,penury doesn't always determine loyalty.
Last last all a good woman has to do is use her brains,gold diggers are getting married every Saturday,seems like it's the good ladies crying more on Alters
Do you know why?
Cause of less practicalities..
Stop deceiving yourself,you can call me whatever you feel like,it won't remove anything from who I know I am, I'm not mincing my word's..

Funny enough both of you are right, cos which ever scenario you paint on issues like this, there are people on each side of the divide, interestingly, that is how life is.

oldienavie:

This is the reason the Southern part of Nigeria currently has an army of single women in their 30s, and 40s who have refused to setttle down with a struggling man.
The same men they saw has poor in their 20s are the same ones they are now running after and begging them to marry them in their 30s and 40s .
Go to Lagos and most big cities, you see men taking advantage of them because of their desperation.
I am abroad and see a lot of Nigerian women in this category everyday, at the end the Nigerian guys still go back to Nigeria to marry single ladies in their 20s .
I hope ladies reading this will learn a lesson or 2. A mans financial state is not a criteria for marriage, if a man is educated, matured and god fearing, he only needs time he will break through.

I believe in making life decisions one must take into account own personality & history/experience of what line of thought & actions have worked for same over time. We tend to ignore d physical line of representation of our destinies.

Life is like war & a wise man once said "in times of war, no ground/decision taken is certain...give desired result.

In general, when searching for a life partner, an individual (especially a man) should relatively be humble, watch out for loyalty & other desired qualities in a potential spouse, try to show d will to succeed then see if appreciation will follow.

It is important that a partner show Love for d personality of d spouse first before anything else, because that true love will most likely see them through thick & thins of marriage.

But lowering education standard (especially below degree level) is not necessary whatsoever, just as portraying a wretched situation does not inspire. MODERATION IS KEY.

cayorday89:


Funny enough both of you are right, cos which ever scenario you paint on issues like this, there are people on each side of the divide, interestingly, that is how life is.

I'm not a feminist, neither am I a gold digger,but I can be anything if logic implies I be that at a point in time.
I just wish they get to understand life is ambiguous.

Honesty will lead you only to the right paths in life.

hahn:


So what is her real status?

She is obviously a manipulative biatch.

You are lucky to have jumped and pass

My dear, she's on her own now, I believe. Everyone has moved on. From my investigations her real status was just that she was an actual nurse and her family was not really suffering as she portrayed. Nothing special.

It is not right and this are the reasons.
1) Women don't love unconditionally
Even your mum will always love you because she gave birth to you.
Only a man can love unconditionally in the sense that a man can help a homeless lady and brush her up but you will hardly see a woman do that
And if there is any woman who will do that then she must surely be in her 50's either desperate for marriage or looking for a sugar boy

2) People change.
Even if you find the so called good wife,it doesn't change the fact that once she finds out your true identity, she will still misbehave � and want to get back at you for disguising as a poor guy.

3) Lastly you should marry someone of your class and not below or else be ready to be the breadwinner of your patner's family with your own combined

Note that before you marry your partner, you should be able to study them well like a student ready to write a final year exam
Gooday

Lucrativress:

I'm not a feminist, neither am I a gold digger,but I can be anything if logic implies I be that at a point in time.
I just wish they get to understand life is ambiguous.

Yeah it is, and so many factors come into play when taking this decisions, and no two people have the same similar circumstances(at least, it could be hard to find someone very close with similar factors in play) on issues, so you can't take the decision of others to decide your own.. What if the man or the lady pass such test, won't he/she be pushed by friends and families in the long run when the truth is laid bare?

A lot of opinions
Anyways do whatever that will work for you

wallarwallar:

It is 100% right especially in Nigeria where dere is no true love but base on what they can get from you. In this country if you hv nothing to offer nobody will love or want to associate with you but if u find just 1 please never let go cos it is very rare in this Jungle. Family, Marriage, Friends, Church, Mosque, place of work. Na only person wey get money pastor dey know dere house

And na rich people house Imam dey go to do special prayer...

cayorday89:

Yeah it is, and so many factors come into play when taking this decisions, and no two people have the same similar circumstances(at least, it could be hard to find someone very close with similar factors in play) on issues, so you can't take the decision of others to decide your own.. What if the man or the lady pass such test, won't he/she be pushed by friends and families in the long run when the truth is laid bare?

Abi o

jaxxy:


Do u know there are people who pretend to be sophisticated to click with other sophisticated people? Bt they are not really sophisticated. Why? because they only aquired these skills to catch a prospect not because it’s who they genuinely are or want to be either or with the best intentions. There Are Wolves!!!

I don't think one can fake class for long. If you'll know someone for a reasonably period of time, then its not possible to fake it that long. Hence I said, experience life with that person. That's what friendship and dating is all about.

Anazp:
rubbish. A relationship with an employer is not like that with a spouse. Or can you wake up one morning and Rell your wife you fired and off he or she goes?? It's important you test the spirit. Marriages have challenges and not all are financial. So many others. You should marry someone who can stand with you thick or thin

Obviously employer reference was a mere example, not a replacement. Apple and orange scenario here. And yes, it is important to test spirit, or test body even, hence I said one should experience life with their potential spouse. I didn't rule it out. All I'm saying is that downplaying yourself is not a good long term strategy, and gave reasons why.

Please read not to respond, but understand.

ford101:
so now that I have a girlfriend who I no is fucking other men.and I chose to endure all this cos I don't have much and think I shouldn't even be in a serious relationship.so if I make money now should I marry her?the ans is never.i ll never marry Grace Ahmadu

Wahala dey dis country oo hahaha

I've learnt alot from this thread.
It's now obvious that I'm in the right track