Wahala for who still dey reason marriage In 2021.

Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

Lol u must be a guy behind this moniker

I’ve been strongly opposing people getting married without making sure that they’re financially stable.

Getting married is the biggest mistake that will ever happen to any man and being poor getting married doubles that mistake.

MrBrownJay1:


instead of understanding my words, you are focussing on the wrong thing and trying to make sense of irrelevant issues.
you still havent replied the simple question i asked: marriage is the next step of dating, so what extra money do you need in marriage, that you didnt need in dating?!?!

Extra money for your in-laws.

Extra money for your food.

Extra money for more necessarily equipment that can accommodate both of you under roof.

Extra money for medical check-ups and other related health issues as they may arise.


Etc



Should I go on?

You're the one that is too next deep in your own beliefs to actually give room for a more superior fact.

Most men have unrealistic expectations and want to make millions , build a house , buy a car etc before getting married and the sad part is that more than 90% of them will not achieve their goal early enough for them to still get married young. That's why there are a lot of older bachelors these days.

If you keep waiting till you hit your goals you just might get old before marriage.

udoji2021:


Don't mind the guy, I decided to stop replying him cos he is forcing me to accept his position without considering the fact that I'm talking from experience.
My problem with his comments is how they may influence a gullible fellow go and deep his hands in fire.

Wahala for who dey reason babymama.

Austeeenxx:
Wahala for who still dey reason marriage In 2021.

From point A to point B of this thread is still based on "less,little or more money" to help a marriage grow.

What does not work you for might work for another.

MrBrownJay1:


... and how exactly does MONEY solve the above issues you just stated?!?!? the above has absolutely nothing to do with financial stability, as a fake/disrespectful woman will be the same, whether dating or married....

U do sound like an unmarried man!
Ask your elder brothers & married neighbours, money solve 70% of marriage issues. Without finance, the rate at which that tingling love feeling will decline will shock u. Ask your parents!

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

thanks alot for saying the truth I hope all the senseless boys here will learn from this. But Bros "hustle" don't make people rich. Life of hustle no be life o. God bless you Sir.

MrBrownJay1:


money doesnt solve cheating, money doesnt solve a disrespectful wife, money doesnt solve bad health, money doesnt solve ungrateful family/friends, money doesnt solve stupidity, money doesnt solve accidents and unforeseen tragedies.... etc etc etc

All these things can occur as result of lack of finance in marriage, money will go a long way to reduce the negative effect of these things u listed on the family.

Alright �

Rubbiish:

U do sound like an unmarried man!
Ask your elder brothers & married neighbours, money solve 70% of marriage issues. Without finance, the rate at which that tingling love feeling will decline will shock u. Ask your parents!

no mind the senseless guy.

udoji2021:


Some circumstances will make you to take such decision. But it's not good to advice someone to marry empty hand. The suffering no be here

Circumstances like?

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

There's no end all be all answer to this

A couple can get married before being financially stable and build financial stability in their marriage -- as long as they don't have kids and are strategic in their approach, it's very possible. Many have done this

It's up to the couple to decide. Me though, I prefer financial stability before marriage and I've achieved it

Walex124:
I have been followed ur comment from the beginning bro, you have points" but I disagree with you in some ways... For instance you said , money doesn't solve disrespectful wife , let me elaborate something to you bro, in this our generation, if you don't have money ur are nothing. If you don't have money, you wouldn't have access to good health care, you wouldn't get respect from ur own family talkless of ur wife family and the most painful part , wife wouldn't respect you and give you 100% submission.

bro, the problem here is that you are thinking like a broke person. a good woman who doesnt respect you as a poor man, will still NOT respect you as a rich man. money does not equate to respect....only broke begging deluded people suddenly respect you when you have money BECAUSE THEY NOW WANT YOU TO HELP THEM. its only oloshos that will suddenly admire you because you have money AND its only broke minded men that believe that when they get money they will settle with all the oloshos in the world.

just because many women in Nigeria are broke deluded beings (who sell themselves to the highest bidder), doesnt mean that this what you should now use as a tool to value life... IF A WOMAN DOESNT VALUE YOU AS A POOR MAN, THEN SHE HAS NO BUSINESS BEING IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU FINALLY MAKE MONEY. if you decide to be with such woman then the joke is on you.

the sad statement you made that "if you dont have money you are nothing" is such a clueless statement, but then again, thats what most broke minded people would say...they really believe that all their problems lies with having money. all their lives revolves around money and they actually believe that if they are ugly, then with money attracting oloshos to their sorry lives, they will now become beautiful..if they are rude they will become nice, if they are bad they will become good; if they are evil they will become saints; if they are disgusting they will become sweet abi?!?!? sadly, let me help you on the subject...if you are a shitty poor person, you will simply turn into a rich SHITTY person... attracting shittier person in your life (like oloshos).

as for your family, if having money is the only way that they will respect you, then i feel sorry for the family you got. as for a wife, if she wouldnt respect you if you were broke, then the joke is on you for marrying such worthless good for nothing disrespectful wife.

BTW go ask Steve Jobs, TB Joshua etc if all their Billions (who gave them access to the very best health care), made any difference....

Vultron101:
no mind the senseless guy.

Honestly the guy is just talking like a 5 year old kid! Education, health, feeding, in-laws, shelter which of these doesn't involve money? Marriage without moderate inflow of cash is worthless. No one is saying u should be rich like dangote, but there must be moderate inflow of cash, else your wife go change am for u & life go tire u.

FriendsAndFans:

The answer to your question is obvious.
Money is a tool to control, a wife will hardly want to disrespect you when she knows you hold a value of control over her needs

You can never force anyone to respect you. Even if a man has financial control over his wife, he's foolish to think that she's respecting him. The day he loses his job, her so called respect will disappear

TossTos:
To marry while struggling is bad as the OP stated it BUT my question is
> WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP STRUGGLING so that you will marry ?.
See , marriage is not about fat bank account or whatsoever you may have called it , Marriage is about READINESS .
Have you discovered yourself ?.

A struggling man should marry a rich woman if he sees one, and vice versa.

There is no point in two poor people marrying each other all in the name of I don't want to be a gold digger, or I want respect. At the end of the day it will just be a combination of poverty, and the question is when will you get out of it?
Because at the end of the day, people are born and die inside poverty.

The most important thing is that the poor partner should use the rich partner to also make money and eventually multiply the wealth for the family rather than just spending for spending sake.

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

You're a wise man

Rubbiish:

Honestly the guy is just talking like a 5 year old kid! Education, health, feeding, in-laws, shelter which of these doesn't involve money? Marriage without moderate inflow of cash is worthless. No one is saying u should be rich like dangote, but there must be moderate inflow of cash, else your wife go change am for u & life go tire u.

I just hope that someone will take that guy serious and follow what he is saying practically. I'm talking here as a married man but I believe he is still chasing women up and down so he will not understand no matter what we say here.

Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

...speak for yourself

You right ▶️

The main reason for marriage na to get legal pikin that can take care of ur old age .what's the essence of getting married in 2021 and be waiting to have money in 2027 before u can pregnant ur woman choi . Na this cain write up dey make some men go dey 65 years while their first son is 7years that one name wasted life naa .Igbo people talk say Nwa ka Ego

seeme2:
I hope you deserve that your wife, gentleman OP. You derived the wrong conclusion from life. What a waste of your sufferings. Look, i am 35. I have had great times, and rainy days. These things come and go and come again. Just get married when you can predict your stability for the next couple of years. People get married with meager income and get millions within a year. Some have already bought their life's last car before marrying. Head or tail, marrying early is best. It is the foundation of wealth. Your children have no choice but to manage... they are too small to be corrupted. God may bless you before your first born is old enough to be impressionable. If you wait till money comes who says it cannot go again. So you wait till 70 because it goes and comes?

Look, marriage is more economical than singleness... that is if you are a classy guy sha. Take the easier way and thank me later.

@bolded u r saying the same thing OP is saying. Your point that things may change tomorrow is not how we make choices in life. Yes, Dangote may go bankrupt tomorrow and, yes,, Usain Bolt may run last - but we don't make choices in life based on such. Yes, a lazy, uneducated, drunkard may become a millionaire tomorrow, but you don't choose your life-long partner based on such.

udoji2021:
Extra money for your food.

are you saying that as a couple, you will now eat more food than you did when you were dating?!?!?!?!
here is a clue: small money you have for food (before marriage) + small money your wife had for food (before marriage)... put it together and thats more than enough money for food as a married couple.

Extra money for more necessarily equipment that can accommodate both of you under roof.

if you had these equipments before marriage why do you need more after marriage? better yet, you bring your TV, she brings her bed, you bring your fridge, she brings her oven... aka you both bring what you can. you can even live on the floor in a shack, if thats what you desire.

Extra money for medical check-ups and other related health issues as they may arise.

you deal with the above issues the SAME WAY you would deal with such issues as a single person, duh!

Should I go on?

pls do as i see nothing of value here...

Extra money for your in-laws.

i kept the above for last as it is such a funny statement, it made me burst laughing... are you really saying that before 2 people get married, they need dash money for deluded people out there? didnt you see where i wrote to cut your coat accordingly? what about telling in laws that I AINT GOT IT?!?!? is that so difficult to do?!
in law ko, off anarchy ni!

MY BROTHER GOD BLESS YOU, MANY GUYS TODAY ARE VICTIM.

dedunji:
The main reason for marriage na to get legal pikin that can take care of ur old age .what's the essence of getting married in 2021 and be waiting to have money in 2027 before u can pregnant ur woman choi . Na this cain write up dey make some men go dey 65 years while their first son is 7years that one name wasted life naa .Igbo people talk say Nwa ka Ego

See this one still with this antiquated thinking. Don't plan your own retirement and how to be comfortable in it. Wait for "legal pikin that can take care of ur old age"!

Klass99:


Na lie e no go sweet, because this is an over flogged topic/issue on NL.

See, you wrong. The thread still sweet

aod1:

Let me buttress your point, No matter the amount of money you think you need to save or success you need to have before you marry, what if after the marriage, life happens, I mean you may lose some money, job or the success. So there isn't any guarantee whether you have made money before you marry or not that all will be rosy. The most important thing like you've said is for the couple to make proper plan accordingly. And on the issue of God not blessing/manner, your unbelief has made you not to experience it. I'm a living testimony. Before I asked my wife to marry me, I get 2-3 gigs a year. From the day I sought permission from her parent to marry her, I've not had a full 1 month rest. It's been from one gig to another. You'll be blessed as much as you believe.

Because u can lose your job after marriage is not enough reason to enter marriage unprepared. We humans can die at any given time, that is not enough reason not to prepare for life, we struggle for education, skills etc some of us may end up not using. Planning our retirements of which many won't even get to old age. So losing your job after marriage is unforseen & it is totally different from entering marriage unprepared financially! It is just like saying kids should start impregnating their girlfriend since it is possible they may be unable to give birth after marriage which is very possible, such unplanned mentality can only bring about untold hardship.

Marriage is a blessing. The societal problem is the reason why we see it the way we're seeing it now. I have this advice to give you, if you can do it go ahead, but make sure that you abstain from a culture that could stand as stumbling to your blessings. I gave you my promise that marriage is an institution from God, He will never leave you alone.

Rubbiish:
All these things can occur as result of lack of finance in marriage, money will go a long way to reduce the negative effect of these things u listed on the family.

bro you can have all ther money in the world, and buy your wife private jets if you desire, but if you cant satisfy her sexually/emotionally etc then chances are she will go and cheat... same with respect in marriage or bad health... and believe me when i say that: no amount of money will be big enough to satisfy the ungrateful bastards people in your life (today they want a new pair of shoes, tomorrow a car, next week a house etc etc etc)

here is a simple clue: there will always be a richer man out there than you....so if money is what makes a person be with you and/or respect you etc, then a man with more money can come to her life and take her away, along with the respect she had for you.