[

[/quote]

You don't write badly.

Olumighty123:


We know your aim and objective, you just wan come scatter thread.. weyre

gbenu e soun Mr ipob

yetunsbay:
During final clearance. I remember that woman requesting for Thanksgiving token as a thing of joy. Unfortunately I was cash strapped...if you see the way that woman fling the form away. Chai
No wahala eyes go meets again

corruption no fit stop from Nigeria

Lalasticlala

placeofallure:
It was my final year in the university, and I was writing my project. There was an internal rancour then, in my school, University of Ilorin among the lecturers. I think it's ASUU related. There was a directive that if you still want to be a lecturer, you have to reapply. Most lecturers were averse to this. The stubborn ones especially, refused to reapply and they were given the marching orders. This development meant gross shortage of staff. In a whole department, there may be only 3 lecturers remaining.

I was in the middle of writing my project and I was unfortunate, one of the sacked lecturers was my supervisor.

Now, I was brilliant, daring (youthful exuberance) nonchalant and maybe stupid too. My project was a long essay kind of thing. I had written my first and second chapters off hand and my supervisor (one of the very best) had approved it, but I've not gone to collect my papers from him. He only told me in class to come for them. No rough notes anywhere, I would just sit and effortlessly, ideas would come. That was my undoing. By the time I met my supervisor to collect my manuscripts, so I can proceed with chapters 3 and 4, he was sacked already. He then told me he's not going to release the manuscripts to me, that they are now his intellectual property. After all, he'd made corrections on them. Oops! I couldn't believe it at first. I begged him for another week or so. Meanwhile, deadline for project submission was fast approaching.

The day it finally dawned on me that he wouldn't budge, was my most unforgettable day in the university. I went home crying. Thankfully, none of my friends cum roommates was around, so I could cry my cry uninterrupted. Till date, I've never cried as I did that day. It was a Friday, submission was on Monday.

New supervisors have been assigned to the affected students. I'm meeting mine on Monday, but I should meet him with at least my two chapters not with an empty hand. This means, between Friday and Monday morning, I should have rewritten my two chapters. Remember, I wasn't keeping any notes, I wrote from my head. What a stupid thing to do!

After crying for about 3 hours or so, I took a shower, put on my best dress for motivation, applied small make up and headed to the library. I got there around 4pm and was there till 10pm when they closed and sent us out. That same night, I entered class, was there till morning, went home to shower and eat, returned to class same morning and was there till the next morning, a Sunday. I went home to shower, eat and attend church ( I've always been churchy) from church, I didn't go home, I went straight to class and was there till Monday morning, Done! I left to freshen up and go see my new supervisor.

At his office...
After exchanging pleasantries and explaining who I am, he collected my work and studied it for a while. Then he said, "You seem to know what you are doing, approved! " He made a few corrections to the reference part and that was it I thought. He called me back as I was about leaving, "But where are you in this department all these while and I never noticed you? We should be going out"

Ehn! After all the hard work that I put into this? Devil is a liar! I immediately knelt down and told him, I'm like his daughter. He said, "You are not my daughter but I'm letting you off my hook because you know what you're doing." Touching my papers again, "You know what you are doing. Go!" I sped off with the speed of lightning.

This is one experience I'll never forget. I learnt from myself.

You write beautifully well. And your written piece is well punctuated.

What's your faculty?

SavageBoy:


You write beautifully well. And your written piece is well punctuated.

What's your faculty?

Thanks for the compliment.

English department

Danjikanbauchi:
The day a known wicked Igbo lecturer cought me writing a GST 102 philosophy and logic exam for somebody and the guy just paid me 3k,

omo the lecturer asked me *this is not your paper, you are writing for some one " I said yes sir. He gently ask me to go not to do it again.

That day I know God loves me so much because next thing will be to expelled me.

Na bcus u talk truth oo nd u no follow am argue, if no be so d man go follow u reach ur senate even panel sef

2week to exam naso i go nyt class go read oo
I kon see dis big yansh girl, two days we don dey roll nd d third day we met nd read tgeda, we slept off nd they stole our phone.
The girl on d verge of dating me carry me go school panel say na me steal our phone oo, say make i buy her own oooo
School call ma parent, na in i knw say there is trouble. The girl parent talk say i must buy d phone ooo, who kon buy my own.
Bt we thank God case eventually die down

MilitaryLady:
gbenu e soun Mr ipob

Lol, now I see you are just catching cruise. I'm not an igbo sha anyways. Have fun

Imustnottalk:
corruption no fit stop from Nigeria

I swear

placeofallure:


Thanks for the compliment.

English department

No wonder... Would love to know you outside Nairaland

ChiefSosa:
Ladies and gentlemen, I am back from my 2-week all expense paid ban o

LMAO

Did you kill US Marine?

Tajbol4splend:
The day armed robbers came into our hostel on a Saturday morning around 1am and robbed us using one pistol, they took my 2000 naira weekend soup money, my curve 7, Toshiba laptop and my MTN modem, and they used my leather bag to pack the stuff they managed to assemble, the saddest part was my project work on the laptop, that shit weighed me down seriously because we were starting our final year exam the following Monday but I couldn't afford to let anything sweep me off the ground

Damn! Sorry, man.

Final year project? I would never have felt good also. My final year project was almost 200 pages with told of tables, analysis etc. It was more like a research.

chatinent:


Lol. I had accidentally farted in the banking hall. Honestly, I didn't know how it came out. I was stamping sth off my clothes and it popped.

It was so smelly the useless girl behind me was so uncivil and outspoken to tag it was me.

Baba, I use English deny am to the last.

So far I don dey deny am, I was even getting angry saying it was an insult on my person.

Lol.

Na so security guy..God bless the chairman, call me one side as if he dey console me tell me say...na him dey watch the CCTV and na me mess. I no just argue. I agreed but told him the paroles and anti-embarrassment I deployed.

The mature man was like “I understand.”

Mehn, I return there bone o.

Enough respect.

Hilarious

placeofallure:
It was my final year in the university, and I was writing my project. There was an internal rancour then, in my school, University of Ilorin among the lecturers. I think it's ASUU related. There was a directive that if you still want to be a lecturer, you have to reapply. Most lecturers were averse to this. The stubborn ones especially, refused to reapply and they were given the marching orders. This development meant gross shortage of staff. In a whole department, there may be only 3 lecturers remaining.

I was in the middle of writing my project and I was unfortunate, one of the sacked lecturers was my supervisor.

Now, I was brilliant, daring (youthful exuberance) nonchalant and maybe stupid too. My project was a long essay kind of thing. I had written my first and second chapters off hand and my supervisor (one of the very best) had approved it, but I've not gone to collect my papers from him. He only told me in class to come for them. No rough notes anywhere, I would just sit and effortlessly, ideas would come. That was my undoing. By the time I met my supervisor to collect my manuscripts, so I can proceed with chapters 3 and 4, he was sacked already. He then told me he's not going to release the manuscripts to me, that they are now his intellectual property. After all, he'd made corrections on them. Oops! I couldn't believe it at first. I begged him for another week or so. Meanwhile, deadline for project submission was fast approaching.

The day it finally dawned on me that he wouldn't budge, was my most unforgettable day in the university. I went home crying. Thankfully, none of my friends cum roommates was around, so I could cry my cry uninterrupted. Till date, I've never cried as I did that day. It was a Friday, submission was on Monday.

New supervisors have been assigned to the affected students. I'm meeting mine on Monday, but I should meet him with at least my two chapters not with an empty hand. This means, between Friday and Monday morning, I should have rewritten my two chapters. Remember, I wasn't keeping any notes, I wrote from my head. What a stupid thing to do!

After crying for about 3 hours or so, I took a shower, put on my best dress for motivation, applied small make up and headed to the library. I got there around 4pm and was there till 10pm when they closed and sent us out. That same night, I entered class, was there till morning, went home to shower and eat, returned to class same morning and was there till the next morning, a Sunday. I went home to shower, eat and attend church ( I've always been churchy) from church, I didn't go home, I went straight to class and was there till Monday morning, Done! I left to freshen up and go see my new supervisor.

At his office...
After exchanging pleasantries and explaining who I am, he collected my work and studied it for a while. Then he said, "You seem to know what you are doing, approved! " He made a few corrections to the reference part and that was it I thought. He called me back as I was about leaving, "But where are you in this department all these while and I never noticed you? We should be going out"

Ehn! After all the hard work that I put into this? Devil is a liar! I immediately knelt down and told him, I'm like his daughter. He said, "You are not my daughter but I'm letting you off my hook because you know what you're doing." Touching my papers again, "You know what you are doing. Go!" I sped off with the speed of lightning.

This is one experience I'll never forget. I learnt from myself.

My Alma mata

chatinent:
Mine: I had just cooked my spaghetti about to eat when my hostel mate dashed in and was stammering words due to the speed “guy, come come come, yawa yawa, dem wan kill Andrew.”

The urgency in his tone made me drop the spoon I was begining to travel down my throat down. I followed him to the scene.

Now here's the scene I met:

There were three guys around Andrew. One hooked and squeezed his cloth while another was just landing slaps to his face incessantly. Andrew was already fading due to the thunderstorms.

From afar, I couldn't just understand anything why he'd be slapping this guy so I zoomed to the guy issuing him slaps with a push. I didn't intend to push him so hard but to just let off his grip on Andrew na so this guy fall down convulsion start o. From convulsing, he was spitting sth like blood and stopped shaking with a rolled eyes.

Like play like play the other guys don pick Gulder bottles, sticks, and axes dey pursue me. Oh God. I ran into a bush and these guys wouldn't stop pursuing me.

There was one among them that was one of the Macho men in school and he was next to me. He was threatening that na today e go clear my doubts. Say e go “throw me overboard” “shebi na you dey carry Sandra dey feel fly” and all that. I didn't even know who Sandra was!

To gather more people to pursue and catch me, they were shouting ole ole. On intervals, it will seem the guy was so close to me, and he'd try to slide me down with a kick. I'd be left with adding my last life line to run this death race.

Inside me, I was remembering all my mum used to warn me against being stubborn, and face my studies in school and tears was escaping freely from my eyes. When I remembered I wasn't a bad student but this was an unfortunate murder I wouldn't be alive to explain, I would shed more tears. The catarrh from my nose and eyes were entering my mouth.

I remembered I had just lost a sis and the pain it brought to my fam..how would they feel losing me? I was literally crying running and the tears could be flying backwards due to my speed and dribble.

We ran inside that big farm for up to an hour. I heard some double-crossing approaches ahead and knew I was about to be caught. I dashed the first one and he ran into a thorny grass. I could hear him angrily standing and threatening to kill me if they caught me.

I could, from a distance, see that we were running into the female hostel some 50 metres ahead and more tears escaped my eyes. I hate embarrassments all my life!

I had been a very bright student and never killed anyone! As I was about dashing the second guy, the macho guy caught me and pinned me to the ground ordering them to bring the fuel. The crowd (mostly from the females) was gathering to the pin point and I could see from my mind's eye the fuel guy coming so quickly. I was begging the huge guy to leave me. “guy, I swear, I no hit am anything. I just want push am away...” I couldn't stop begging anyone I could know to liberate me there. I had not begged this way all my life!

Tears filled my eyes when they opened the five-litre gallon and sprayed it on me. He thundered they should bring matches and the matches guy turned on a stick and threw it backwards shouting April Fooool...and all of them were laughing at me.

I had never had anything like that all my life. I didn't understand what was going on until Andrew came laughing at me until he started rolling on the floor. I also saw the dead guy giving me a wadup sign. I looked so stupid with dried tears and dried catarrh on my face.

I just got up and entered the bush trekking back. But honestly, down deep in my mind, I was thanking God it was this than it was that. But I was damn embarrassed!

Never told anyone this tho. Lol. Only Andrew till date go dey mock me with this event.


Abeg, make una share yours.

this is so funny but must have been a serious one for you then... Lwkmd

op abeg come oh, they want kill andrew!"

Lamanii22:


this is so funny but must have been a serious one for you then... Lwkmd

It was, dear.

I was terribly ill, and fared badly during my tests that period.

What is more, I have been slapped by a real soldier couple of months after that event because I felt they were staging another prank on me. I didn't know it was a real thing..and they were caught and harassed by the soldiers! The scenario was familiar and similar to the latter. I went into the scene all you-cannot-get-me-on-this-one-like.

My stay with them was tough! A weak person would die!

Funnily enough, no single one of us was from the same tribe. But believe me, these guys were real friends. They can literally help die for you!

I have also joined in pranking them. Those pranks kept hunger far from us... because on a normal normal, na hungry we for dey talk about.

gfaruk:
2week to exam naso i go nyt class go read oo
I kon see dis big yansh girl, two days we don dey roll nd d third day we met nd read tgeda, we slept off nd they stole our phone.
The girl on d verge of dating me carry me go school panel say na me steal our phone oo, say make i buy her own oooo
School call ma parent, na in i knw say there is trouble. The girl parent talk say i must buy d phone ooo, who kon buy my own.
Bt we thank God case eventually die down

Leave nyash you say no. You never ready to marry you dey look nyash. Nyash na your mate? Now you don buy phone.

Collinsaik:
op abeg come oh, they want kill andrew!"

Lol.

That's not how Andrew says it.

He'll simple mimick my near-death plea “abeg, I no hit am anything.”

Lol. I love that man!

SavageBoy:


You write beautifully well. And your written piece is well punctuated.

What's your faculty?

Format.

Demigod22:
When I was in 200 level, I was dating this beautiful Muslim girl, I was enjoying the frequent sex and full attention from her until one uncle carry gun come my house. The trauma I went through affected my result that period. He was coming regularly because the girl rejected him and he wanted me to convince the girl for him, he threatened the living daylight out of my life. I looked so stupid in the presence of the girl for asking her out for another guy, and the fear of gun in school is entirely another level of wisdom.

Sorry, you mean the guy na green cap or na street?

Quietstorm1:
Well two events I'll never forget
1. When I was pressed as Bleep, wanted to shit badly in the middle of an exam, I asked to be excused and the lecturer refused and said unless I agreed to submit my script. I eventually did submit it and dash out to the school toilet. The painful thing was seeing the small shit that caused this pain

You are damn funny. Lol.

placeofallure:
It was my final year in the university, and I was writing my project. There was an internal rancour then, in my school, University of Ilorin among the lecturers. I think it's ASUU related. There was a directive that if you still want to be a lecturer, you have to reapply. Most lecturers were averse to this. The stubborn ones especially, refused to reapply and they were given the marching orders. This development meant gross shortage of staff. In a whole department, there may be only 3 lecturers remaining.

I was in the middle of writing my project and I was unfortunate, one of the sacked lecturers was my supervisor.

Now, I was brilliant, daring (youthful exuberance) nonchalant and maybe stupid too. My project was a long essay kind of thing. I had written my first and second chapters off hand and my supervisor (one of the very best) had approved it, but I've not gone to collect my papers from him. He only told me in class to come for them. No rough notes anywhere, I would just sit and effortlessly, ideas would come. That was my undoing. By the time I met my supervisor to collect my manuscripts, so I can proceed with chapters 3 and 4, he was sacked already. He then told me he's not going to release the manuscripts to me, that they are now his intellectual property. After all, he'd made corrections on them. Oops! I couldn't believe it at first. I begged him for another week or so. Meanwhile, deadline for project submission was fast approaching.

The day it finally dawned on me that he wouldn't budge, was my most unforgettable day in the university. I went home crying. Thankfully, none of my friends cum roommates was around, so I could cry my cry uninterrupted. Till date, I've never cried as I did that day. It was a Friday, submission was on Monday.

New supervisors have been assigned to the affected students. I'm meeting mine on Monday, but I should meet him with at least my two chapters not with an empty hand. This means, between Friday and Monday morning, I should have rewritten my two chapters. Remember, I wasn't keeping any notes, I wrote from my head. What a stupid thing to do!

After crying for about 3 hours or so, I took a shower, put on my best dress for motivation, applied small make up and headed to the library. I got there around 4pm and was there till 10pm when they closed and sent us out. That same night, I entered class, was there till morning, went home to shower and eat, returned to class same morning and was there till the next morning, a Sunday. I went home to shower, eat and attend church ( I've always been churchy) from church, I didn't go home, I went straight to class and was there till Monday morning, Done! I left to freshen up and go see my new supervisor.

At his office...
After exchanging pleasantries and explaining who I am, he collected my work and studied it for a while. Then he said, "You seem to know what you are doing, approved! " He made a few corrections to the reference part and that was it I thought. He called me back as I was about leaving, "But where are you in this department all these while and I never noticed you? We should be going out"

Ehn! After all the hard work that I put into this? Devil is a liar! I immediately knelt down and told him, I'm like his daughter. He said, "You are not my daughter but I'm letting you off my hook because you know what you're doing." Touching my papers again, "You know what you are doing. Go!" I sped off with the speed of lightning.

This is one experience I'll never forget. I learnt from myself.

Permit me to analyze your story. You wrote chapters one to two between Friday and Monday? That is the background to the study, problem and purpose statements, aims and objectives, research questions, and a comprehensive literature review (in the English department, you are mostly required to review hundreds of books)... ??

In other words, you wrote them on Saturday and Sunday? Cos you met him on Monday morning, wrong?

I am a research writer, and I wish to understand you.

chatinent:

Format.

SavageBoy:


No wonder... Would love to know you outside Nairaland

Depends...

If your motive is pure, no probs.

chatinent:


Permit me to analyze your story. You wrote chapters one to two between Friday and Monday? That is the background to the study, problem and purpose statements, aims and objectives, research questions, and a comprehensive literature review (in the English department, you are mostly required to review hundreds of books)... ??

In other words, you wrote them on Saturday and Sunday? Cos you met him on Monday morning, wrong?

I am a research writer, and I wish to understand you.

You're not far from the truth. It's book review, a literary appreciation kind of thing and Yes, I wrote it over the weekend, between Friday and Monday.

placeofallure:


You're not far from the truth. It's book review, a literary appreciation kind of thing and Yes, I wrote it over the weekend, between Friday and Monday.

I understand better now.

I commend the way you upheld the feminine pride from your predator lecturer.

I respect you for that act.

SavageBoy:

That format don old na, boss.

Just ask am to be your palliative.

Mehn my own experience na very bad one oo , as a part-time student in POLYNEK, we normally write our exam during weekends, so I normally sleep with my coursesmate Every weekend bcox am staying in FUTO,
On Dix fateful Friday, I hv Only 1k in my account to manage 4 d weekend, omo! As I enter school ATM machine to withdraw d 1k nal, immediately I put my ATM card, the ATM machine off entirely, I couldn't blv wat happened, students around me broke out in lafter but I wasn't happy bcox it is Friday I hv to wait till Monday.
I looked around to c if I can c any security to help me but no one, bcox is already evening, am not angry about d my lost ATM card oo but I was thinking how am going to feed throughout d weekend, bcox my coursesmate too is very broke,
Guys you pple won't blv me dat I only drank water from Friday evening to Monday morning plus d exam I was writing, I didn't tell my coursesmate bcox He can't do anything,
Omo immediately it was 6:30am on Monday morning, I was d 1st person to come to d Bank, wen they opened by 8am, I told Dem my problem, they told me to go to my bank and get it I nearly fainted wen I hear Dix, I told d customer care officer dat as I am now I don't hv 1kobo with me, pls they shud help me, He said he is done with me, I shud make space 4 oda customers,
omo I no gree stand up from my seat oo, wen He saw dat am not ready to leave He called d security man to check if dox ATM cards are still in d machine, d man came back and bring many ATM cards, and I took my own and thank Dem 4 considering me, immediately I left d bank, I enter d nearest restaurant oo order for 4 raps of fufu with my favorite Egusi soup D rest na story, but I couldn't blv dat I can starve for 3 day's only water

Polynek:
Mehn my own experience na very bad one oo , as a part-time student in POLYNEK, we normally write our exam during weekends, so I normally sleep with my coursesmate Every weekend bcox am staying in FUTO,
On Dix fateful Friday, I hv Only 1k in my account to manage 4 d weekend, omo! As I enter school ATM machine to withdraw d 1k nal, immediately I put my ATM card, the ATM machine off entirely, I couldn't blv wat happened, students around me broke out in lafter but I wasn't happy bcox it is Friday I hv to wait till Monday.
I looked around to c if I can c any security to help me but no one, bcox is already evening, am not angry about d my lost ATM card oo but I was thinking how am going to feed throughout d weekend, bcox my coursesmate too is very broke,
Guys you pple won't blv me dat I only drank water from Friday evening to Monday morning plus d exam I was writing, I didn't tell my coursesmate bcox He can't do anything,
Omo immediately it was 6:30am on Monday morning, I was d 1st person to come to d Bank, wen they opened by 8am, I told Dem my problem, they told me to go to my bank and get it I nearly fainted wen I hear Dix, I told d customer care officer dat as I am now I don't hv 1kobo with me, pls they shud help me, He said he is done with me, I shud make space 4 oda customers,
omo I no gree stand up from my seat oo, wen He saw dat am not ready to leave He called d security man to check if dox ATM cards are still in d machine, d man came back and bring many ATM cards, and I took my own and thank Dem 4 considering me, immediately I left d bank, I enter d nearest restaurant oo order for 4 raps of fufu with my favorite Egusi soup D rest na story, but I couldn't blv dat I can starve for 3 day's only water

Your legs were vibrating during the starvation, wrong?

chatinent:


I understand better now.

I commend the way you upheld the feminine pride from your predator lecturer.

I respect you for that act.

Thank you.