We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

@Op I feel for you and the family. Things are really expensive out here and money nor reach.

https://www.nairaland.com/6853192/inflation-women-please-pity-husbands

Please just take it easy on your wife. The pressure on you is the same kind of pressure on her too.

Things are really hard this times in Nigeria, so we only have to be patient and try absorbing all the shocks okay.

I believe you are a good man, your wife is a good woman.

If She is into business which is a daily thing so, she should know how tough things are today and you both can work it out better. You both should have a honest discussion of what is on ground today.

Lastly try and be in your best mind and shape, eat food. Take care of yourself and be healthy.

R

Wahala in marriages especially when the foundation is faulty I'll never advise a idle lady to go into marriage, she must have something little to support her husband at home, she should learn a handiwork or business, instead of spending much on wedding, they can use it for her to start a business and do a low key wedding. If she can't understand your financial condition as an adult and how Nigeria economy is so bad now, I don't know what else she needs. Emotionally she might be disturbed for infertility.

.

"I could not sleep the whole night"... My brother,nothing kills a man like pre- dawn(counting ceiling) while others are sleeping.dont allow her to kill you with her pressures.,.she done carry the business money dey wear turkey tops.

Guys should avoid (I will manage with you) kind of women.every woman na material being.dem like good things and naso GOD create dem.

It's not always right to judge from one sided story. I wish i can hear what your wife have to say as regards to the story on ground, so i can give my judgement objectively without being biased.

Family issues. Every family you see today mostly passed/passing through issues.

Some of the issues consumed the couples while some are still struggling for it to workout not because they like to remain in the marriage, but for the shame of their relations/friends being disappointed in them.......

This marriage thing de fear me eh!!!
Bros!! No allow am touch you too much, allow ur conscience judge you.
Do wetin you suppose do as husband! E go better.

Bola146:
Wahala in marriages especially when the foundation is faulty I'll never advise a idle lady to go into marriage, she must have something little to support her husband at home, she should learn a handiwork or business, instead of spending much on wedding, they can use it for her to start a business and do a low key wedding. If she can't understand your financial condition as an adult and how Nigeria economy is so bad now, I don't know what else she needs. Emotionally she might be disturbed for infertility.

I am not seeing a faulty foundation here

iliyande:


I am not seeing a faulty foundation here

Then he shouldn't complain, if the woman he married wasn't working when they got married, he struggled to get loan she is still complaining, then he should get the woman what she wants if that is what he told her before he married her, most responsible married men are really struggling alot seriously, the wives should understand their wahala up and down, it's not easy ooo for this Buhari. Some men committed suicide because of wahala from homes, no words of encouragements, no sympathy at all. Both of them should sit and talk because what would happened if they start bringing in kids They should know better besides they are not kids.

Make una no marry liability una no go hear...
Why should I be the one to set up a lady? What has her parents been doing? And such parents will still expect me to pay bride price o.

All women are usless at some times,better resume your job.

phorget:
Make una no marry liability una no go hear...
Why should I be the one to set up a lady? What has her parents been doing? And such parents will still expect me to pay bride price o.

A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him
Same man will still pay bride price
Same man will still train and set up the woman

Just for procreation


We need to revisit and readjust some ethics in this institution called marriage.

Your marriage will not crash, your family will not suffer Op

In Jesus name

We will not kee our husband because of APC and Buhari(dem say na inflation)

Sit your wife down, talk to her well well make she know wetin dey sup for 9ja

Continue to be productive and positive thinking.

We are here for you

donbachi:
"I could not sleep the whole night"... My brother,nothing kills a man like pre- dawn(counting ceiling) while others are sleeping.dont allow her to kill you with her pressures.,.she done carry the business money dey wear turkey tops.

Guys should avoid (I will manage with you) kind of women.every woman na material being.dem like good things and naso GOD create dem.

Can we also call the nonsense you just typed advice too

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stressed. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business. We I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got its for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business. Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it. Please I need your advice


PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

well, for a one year old marriage with no kids yet to be having problems about finance is pointing to a clear and present danger,if children comes with your present financial issues it may be a serious problem with high blood pressure thrown in for you,try and improve your sources to be making money because as long as I can see that is the only problem you have,don't expect your wife to be footing your bills without an attitude,that is how they do and pls don't reject her food it will only make matters worse,I am now married for 21 years and I have been in your shoes and seen how it can pinch,just rethink,restrategize and think out of the box how to improve your finance and you will see your problems fade away.

All my fellow men can come on social media and say a one sided story ehn. Tell us, who would pay for the loan u collected on her behalf?

Before you married you were supposed to test her, some women are very weak.

Eyah.. some women and ingratitude.

It's sad that a marriage of 1 year is already having cracks due to the wife nagging and emotional abuse on the man that paid her bride price and took up the responsibility of feeding her and looking after her.
I praise the women of old that stand by their husbands through thick and thin unlike this generation ones that drive men into depression and shorten innocent lives.
@OP please don't go into.crime because of any woman.. keep doing your legit hustle while she runs the business you took loans and personal money to set up.. see why some men don't fancy marriage.

shawnfamous:
All my fellow men can come on social media and say a one sided story ehn. Tell us, who would pay for the loan u collected on her behalf?

Being deducted from my salary monthly

silvoclaira:
@Op I feel for you and the family. Things are really expensive out here and money nor reach.

https://www.nairaland.com/6853192/inflation-women-please-pity-husbands

Please just take it easy on your wife. The pressure on you is the same kind of pressure on her too

Things are really hard this times in Nigeria, so we only have to be patient and try absorbing all the shocks okay.

I believe you are a good man, your wife is a good woman.

If She is into business which is a daily thing so she should know how tough things are today so you both can work it out better, you both should have a honest discussion of what os on ground today.

Lastly try and be in your best mind and shape, eat food. Take care of yourself and be healthy.

Thanks

Your wife must be from igbo or yoruba tribe ah most of them can't bere it with their husband,but once GOD accepts prayer and the husband got visa and flew out from the country without taking his wife, those type of wives would be the one ranting that they were with you when everything was hard,you were with me what?.....my advise is that you continue refusing her food till you faint off

haakeem2:
All women are usless at some times,better resume your job.

The problem there is that his job and productivity at work will be affected in one way or the other.. for him to bring it to the forum for advise means he is really disturbed over the issue.

A guy can stay for years as bachelor without issue but when a woman comes into the picture, he starts to lose sleep, inner peace and eventually gets tired and frustrated with life.

A man's life is one filled with thankless sacrifices.

A question that begs to be answered should be: how long did you date her? Was she like this back then or were you all caught up in love and forgot to study her more.

For me any woman that nags is a bloody no no.

Guy, I want to believe that a heart to heart talk will ease the tension here.

So have that conversation with her. Life is very hard. She sounds like a child. How old is she? Reason with her though.

It is hell to have a contentious woman as a life partner.

Be strong.

Hey bro, you should sit her down and have a conversation with her concerning how her words got to you. Let her know she was really unappreciative of all you are doing and you don't appreciate that.

As much as possible, please make yourself happy. Dont allow depression set in because it is the easiest way to the grave bro.

And lastly, make sure to understand why she is yet to get pregnant...very important.

Holly Gram U see d way dis life take be NOW.. just have a BABY MAMA and rest ur HEAD. WTF MAN

This is what happened when you marry an entitlement woman..they are overly dependent.

This is why I opt for the baby mama system,
Marriage isn't suitable for men, it favours women but it isn't designed to favour men, it's an endless loop of depression, stress and slavery for men.

For a man has no value except for what he brings to the table, a society has no sympathy for a man who cannot fend for his family, he cannot even cry or complain for fear of being labelled weak. A woman on the other hand has value for just being a woman, this is why a lazy wife is labeled lazy by her inability to do basic house chores not in any income generating act, while a lazy man is knowned to be the one who can't make income to take care of his family.

One year of marriage and all this wahala, in 2/3 yrs, marriage will just become two strangers just tolerating each other.


Tell your sons this.

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stressed. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business. We I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got its for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business. Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it. Please I need your advice


PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Another one.

distinguish:



Being deducted from my salary monthly

So why still putting money into the business when u already collected a loan? She probably wants a babygirl treatment

Don't kill your self my bro, or even get a HBP because of a woman. Most women are the same, you sacrifice alot for her and one day she tells you have never done anything for her.
My advice, avoid her tantrums and pretend she and her wahala don't exist. Live your life and be happy, and eat well oh. When she comes back to her senses, life continues well. Any time she shuts you out,ignore her.
This is for your health,