The Publisher met a Port Harcourt based man who despite his financial and professional success finds it difficult to select a life partner ostensibly because of his mental health challenge.

Read his story:

My assumed name is Tonye Pepple. I am a Kalabari man from Buguma in Port Harcourt and hail from one of the royal families there. My Grand father actually was a King and I still benefit from the circumstances of my birth decades after his earthly transition into glory.

I studied chemical engineering for my first degree in the University of Manchester and had my Masters Degree in petroleum engineering at the prestigious Imperial College both in the UK.

I had the choice to stay back and work in the UK as I am a British Citizen but I chose to come back home to contribute my quota towards nation building as I deeply felt that Nigeria badly needed my expertise. I had participated in a quiz competition where I argued against brain drain and I felt committed to walking the talk.

I did the compulsory national youth service corps in The Shell Petroleum Development Company, Warri – the country’s largest International Oil Company as a wellsite engineer. I was trained by the best of hands in the industry and even went offshore a couple of times.

I had my first mental health challenge episode while I was in the UK during my masters degree. I lost my mum whom I was very emotionally attached to during that period and that was when I lost it. I even had to spend two years for the one-year masters as I was hospitalized.

After refusing to take my medication, I finally came to terms with my new health challenge and was fiercely determined to succeed despite it as my strong dad challenged me to excel and the love I was shown by my siblings and some of my friends was overwhelming.

I got two job offers from Shell and Exxon Mobil after my NYSC. On dad’s advice I chose Shell as he said they had a better career development program and was arguably the best in the country. Also, in terms of promotion prospects, Shell fared better as it was the only IOC with an indigenous Managing Director.

The Human Resources Department was aware of my health challenge and it was covered adequately by my HMO. I threw myself into my job with the ferocity of a lion and got rewarded with rapid promotions as well as a short term international assignment which I spent in Brunei and a five year cross posting which I spent in its headquarters at the Hague in The Netherlands.

The big question which was being asked was when was I getting married? What was I waiting for? I was tall, dark, handsome and rich. I had even turned down job offers from some rival IOC’s as evidence of my employability so what was really stopping me from settling down to use Nigerian parlance?

Even before my health challenge, I was far from being a Casanova as I had always been quite conservative in the matters of the heart. My challenge only made me more reserved and withdrawn as I had a deep fear of rejection by the opposite sex on account of it.

I met a couple of beautiful ladies who were also upwardly mobile, went on a couple of dates but I didn’t quite find the right fit as I was either bored too soon or we were just plainly incompatible. Two nubile maidens would however leave deeply rooted scars in my fragile heart.

The first was a lawyer whom I met via a dating app. At the time we met online, she was a corporate attorney working in a big law firm in the UK and she made it clear that she wasn’t going to relocate to Nigeria. As time went on, she fell in love with me and gladly accepted a job offer to work in the legal department of one of the IOC’s in Port Harcourt. I kept my health status away from her for fear of rejection and I felt she should completely fall in love with me first before spilling the beans. It wasn’t my intention in all honesty to either deceive her or lead her on. I just felt that it was the best way to protect my interest.

We went on a well-deserved holiday to an exotic resort in Seychelles where I popped the question. She immediately said a big yes and I slipped the ring with her name encrusted on it into her third finger on her left hand.

Wedding preparations began in earnest and my dad was very happy for me as I was the last born and only unmarried child of his.

I cannot forget Valentine’s Day that year when I took her for dinner and opened up to her about my health challenge. She cried like a baby and accused me of being sinister by hiding it from her all these years and making her fall in love with me only to shatter her heart. She flung the ring into my face and blocked me everywhere both on phone and social media.

The wedding was called off and a mutual friend drew my attention to an Instagram post of hers where she wrote that she was glad that she was just rescued from eternally living the life of a lie and that she just dodged a bullet by nearly marrying a sick man. That got me so depressed that I took a sick leave and checked into a private psychiatric hospital.

I stayed off dating for about three years and was approaching 40. Many of my friends and colleagues were married and raising families. Some even thought I was secretly gay and wondered why I was still single. A few overzealous ones tried to matchmake me but I would have none of that.

I got involved with a psychiatric nurse and opened up to her from the beginning to avoid the mistake of the previous one. She said there was no problem as she understood and assured me of her unflinching love which had no iota of pity.

She came from a poor home and was the eldest child. I saw no qualms in helping her pick the tabs of some of the responsibilities of her younger ones as I was blindly in love with her.

She was very beautiful – fair in complexion and buxom in stature with large bosoms and a wonderful behind which made me the envy of my peers even from some of the married ones.

I proposed to her in London – her first trip out of the country funded by me and she accepted it gladly. She told me of her plans to reside in London for better career prospects and convinced me to agree to a plan of me being resident in Nigeria but she and our future kids would be based in the UK. I discussed this with the HR and they gave it my blessings and even approved an extra month for me to leave work so as to spend time with her and the kids when they start coming.

A randy friend of mine once told me that my fiancée wasn’t whom I thought she was – he tried to make me see that she was only manipulating me and that she was an incorrigible flirt having caught her in compromising positions with some random men. I didn’t believe him one bit and even nearly told her. He then proposed to bring in an IT professional friend of his to bug her phone which will show me her call logs, texts and Whatsapp messages.

I couldn’t believe what I saw – she had a secret fiancé who she exchanged raunchy sexual messages with. She insulted me and said she was only using me to get an indefinite leave to remain in the UK – something similar to a permanent residence then she will divorce me and get a substantial chunk of my assets. No wonder she desperately wanted us to get married in London. She would then bring over her true fiancé and they will live happily ever after. One message tore my heart to shreds – ‘How do you think I will spend the rest of my life with an insane man whose sanity is only guaranteed by daily ingestion of poison?’ This broke me and it took the grace of God for me not to have a relapse.

I called off the marriage; she begged and cried and even emotionally blackmailed me but I stood my ground.

I had gotten tired of being rejected for an ailment that was due to no fault of mine which can happen to anyone. I am now close to 50 and I am enjoying my single life as the reality is that not all mortals will eventually get married. Some like me will find fulfilment in being single.

I cannot say that I live the life of a monk as I have friends with benefits and occasionally go to strip clubs and exotic brothels but I ensure that I don’t have any emotional attachments to any of the ladies.

Will I still get married? Honestly, I don’t know and I really don’t care despite the taunting and mockery! As multiple award-winning artiste, Dr. Alban sang in one of his hit songs ‘It’s my life!’ I sing the song daily in my subconscious and reassure myself that I am better off single and happy than having a sham of a marriage and ending up being miserable for the rest of this life that is too short to be sad in.
https://africavoiceshq.com/2022/03/10/feeling-suicidal-got-rejected-by-two-fiancees/

Oyedepo Blows Hot, Says All Involved In Gay Marriage Will Not Make Heaven https://crossbar.ng/2022/03/29/oyedepo-blows-hot-says-all-involved-in-gay-marriage-will-not-make-heaven/

tonyluyi1985:
The Publisher met a Port Harcourt based man who despite his financial and professional success finds it difficult to select a life partner ostensibly because of his mental health challenge.

Read his story:

My assumed name is Tonye Pepple. I am a Kalabari man from Buguma in Port Harcourt and hail from one of the royal families there. My Grand father actually was a King and I still benefit from the circumstances of my birth decades after his earthly transition into glory.

I studied chemical engineering for my first degree in the University of Manchester and had my Masters Degree in petroleum engineering at the prestigious Imperial College both in the UK.

I had the choice to stay back and work in the UK as I am a British Citizen but I chose to come back home to contribute my quota towards nation building as I deeply felt that Nigeria badly needed my expertise. I had participated in a quiz competition where I argued against brain drain and I felt committed to walking the talk.

I did the compulsory national youth service corps in The Shell Petroleum Development Company, Warri – the country’s largest International Oil Company as a wellsite engineer. I was trained by the best of hands in the industry and even went offshore a couple of times.

I had my first mental health challenge episode while I was in the UK during my masters degree. I lost my mum whom I was very emotionally attached to during that period and that was when I lost it. I even had to spend two years for the one-year masters as I was hospitalized.

After refusing to take my medication, I finally came to terms with my new health challenge and was fiercely determined to succeed despite it as my strong dad challenged me to excel and the love I was shown by my siblings and some of my friends was overwhelming.

I got two job offers from Shell and Exxon Mobil after my NYSC. On dad’s advice I chose Shell as he said they had a better career development program and was arguably the best in the country. Also, in terms of promotion prospects, Shell fared better as it was the only IOC with an indigenous Managing Director.

The Human Resources Department was aware of my health challenge and it was covered adequately by my HMO. I threw myself into my job with the ferocity of a lion and got rewarded with rapid promotions as well as a short term international assignment which I spent in Brunei and a five year cross posting which I spent in its headquarters at the Hague in The Netherlands.

The big question which was being asked was when was I getting married? What was I waiting for? I was tall, dark, handsome and rich. I had even turned down job offers from some rival IOC’s as evidence of my employability so what was really stopping me from settling down to use Nigerian parlance?

Even before my health challenge, I was far from being a Casanova as I had always been quite conservative in the matters of the heart. My challenge only made me more reserved and withdrawn as I had a deep fear of rejection by the opposite sex on account of it.

I met a couple of beautiful ladies who were also upwardly mobile, went on a couple of dates but I didn’t quite find the right fit as I was either bored too soon or we were just plainly incompatible. Two nubile maidens would however leave deeply rooted scars in my fragile heart.

The first was a lawyer whom I met via a dating app. At the time we met online, she was a corporate attorney working in a big law firm in the UK and she made it clear that she wasn’t going to relocate to Nigeria. As time went on, she fell in love with me and gladly accepted a job offer to work in the legal department of one of the IOC’s in Port Harcourt. I kept my health status away from her for fear of rejection and I felt she should completely fall in love with me first before spilling the beans. It wasn’t my intention in all honesty to either deceive her or lead her on. I just felt that it was the best way to protect my interest.

We went on a well-deserved holiday to an exotic resort in Seychelles where I popped the question. She immediately said a big yes and I slipped the ring with her name encrusted on it into her third finger on her left hand.

Wedding preparations began in earnest and my dad was very happy for me as I was the last born and only unmarried child of his.

I cannot forget Valentine’s Day that year when I took her for dinner and opened up to her about my health challenge. She cried like a baby and accused me of being sinister by hiding it from her all these years and making her fall in love with me only to shatter her heart. She flung the ring into my face and blocked me everywhere both on phone and social media.

The wedding was called off and a mutual friend drew my attention to an Instagram post of hers where she wrote that she was glad that she was just rescued from eternally living the life of a lie and that she just dodged a bullet by nearly marrying a sick man. That got me so depressed that I took a sick leave and checked into a private psychiatric hospital.

I stayed off dating for about three years and was approaching 40. Many of my friends and colleagues were married and raising families. Some even thought I was secretly gay and wondered why I was still single. A few overzealous ones tried to matchmake me but I would have none of that.

I got involved with a psychiatric nurse and opened up to her from the beginning to avoid the mistake of the previous one. She said there was no problem as she understood and assured me of her unflinching love which had no iota of pity.

She came from a poor home and was the eldest child. I saw no qualms in helping her pick the tabs of some of the responsibilities of her younger ones as I was blindly in love with her.

She was very beautiful – fair in complexion and buxom in stature with large bosoms and a wonderful behind which made me the envy of my peers even from some of the married ones.

I proposed to her in London – her first trip out of the country funded by me and she accepted it gladly. She told me of her plans to reside in London for better career prospects and convinced me to agree to a plan of me being resident in Nigeria but she and our future kids would be based in the UK. I discussed this with the HR and they gave it my blessings and even approved an extra month for me to leave work so as to spend time with her and the kids when they start coming.

A randy friend of mine once told me that my fiancée wasn’t whom I thought she was – he tried to make me see that she was only manipulating me and that she was an incorrigible flirt having caught her in compromising positions with some random men. I didn’t believe him one bit and even nearly told her. He then proposed to bring in an IT professional friend of his to bug her phone which will show me her call logs, texts and Whatsapp messages.

I couldn’t believe what I saw – she had a secret fiancé who she exchanged raunchy sexual messages with. She insulted me and said she was only using me to get an indefinite leave to remain in the UK – something similar to a permanent residence then she will divorce me and get a substantial chunk of my assets. No wonder she desperately wanted us to get married in London. She would then bring over her true fiancé and they will live happily ever after. One message tore my heart to shreds – ‘How do you think I will spend the rest of my life with an insane man whose sanity is only guaranteed by daily ingestion of poison?’ This broke me and it took the grace of God for me not to have a relapse.

I called off the marriage; she begged and cried and even emotionally blackmailed me but I stood my ground.

I had gotten tired of being rejected for an ailment that was due to no fault of mine which can happen to anyone. I am now close to 50 and I am enjoying my single life as the reality is that not all mortals will eventually get married. Some like me will find fulfilment in being single.

I cannot say that I live the life of a monk as I have friends with benefits and occasionally go to strip clubs and exotic brothels but I ensure that I don’t have any emotional attachments to any of the ladies.

Will I still get married? Honestly, I don’t know and I really don’t care despite the taunting and mockery! As multiple award-winning artiste, Dr. Alban sang in one of his hit songs ‘It’s my life!’ I sing the song daily in my subconscious and reassure myself that I am better off single and happy than having a sham of a marriage and ending up being miserable for the rest of this life that is too short to be sad in.
https://africavoiceshq.com/2022/03/10/feeling-suicidal-got-rejected-by-two-fiancees/