This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Ok

Seun

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy and independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind.
As a single, Im very much at peace with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no questions my eating habits as is sometimes the case with some married women.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give that up scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home and i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
The thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies toddlers and that motherhood life made sick instantly. Also the thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

u need therapy. God warned me this year to be careful of wat am reading Abt people with issues with their marriage on social media..had to unfollow them cos it was getting so bad, I will wink my nose wen I see someone testify of how wonderful her husband is and my first impression is dat they are lying..
I give u d same advise... Go for therapy or therapy yourself by removing every bad story or divorce story Abt marraige from ya head

SanctifiedSista:
u need therapy. God warned me this year to be careful of wat am reading Abt people with issues with their marriage on social media..had to unfollow them cos it was getting so bad, I will wink my nose wen I see someone testify of how wonderful her husband is and my first impression is dat they are lying..
I give u d same advise... Go for therapy or therapy yourself by removing every bad story or divorce story Abt marraige from ya head

Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy and independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind.
As a single, Im very much at peace with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no questions my eating habits as is sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like craze and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give that up scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home and i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

I do not understand u in summary, are u saying u want to get marriage but still don't want to give up on ur single life?

Dey play.
You are just lazy, your body will pay for your lazy lifestyle in no distant time if you continue to indulge in what you think is comfort.
The human body is not made for a stress-free lifestyle so get your lazy ass to that teeth shining brother's house if you don't want to wither and die.

Just get married first and worry about marriage worries later

EriMma1:


Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

Then don't continue to deceive that Young single pastor by stringing him along, he too deserves happiness and a woman that wants to wholeheartedly be with him and start a future with him together.

Just don't get angry and jealous and bitter when another sister takes your place without thinking twice

You're a selfish person, you want to eat your cake and still have it. And you're giving off vibes that you'll not be a good wife for that man, so just save that man the stress and everybody else involved and let them know that you're not interested and continue enjoying your single life... Very simple solution.

EriMma1:


Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

Different people have different reason for getting married, some for procreation, some marry for love, some marry so they can have someone who'll carry on their legacy. No one is going to die as a result of being single but there comes the old age, where you'd be by yourself and there's no one to take care of you. It can get really lonely

You are still not yet ready to get married, when you are ready, you will marry.

It's normal



Start from friendship before going to relationship

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy and independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind.
As a single, Im very much at peace with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no questions my eating habits as is sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like craze and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give that up scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home and i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

I will advice you to remain single for the rest of your get married to ur comfortable life and get used to Love Machine .... If u think men re not relevant in ur life ....

EriMma1:


I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Our Thoughts Become our Reality, it's what you feed your thoughts about everything that paralyses your action leading to inaction.

Yes. You need therapy.

The picture of marriage you have is not global. Yes, many homes experience turmoil and stress but why should you expect to be unhappy in your family.

You can get more than the joy and satisfaction you presently enjoy even in marriage.

Life's satisfaction comes in sharing that's why the Bible says it is not good for a man (or woman) to be alone.

You need therapy to reorientate your mindset because if you go into marriage with this mindset, there will be trouble. What you expect will always be your experience.

I am a certified marriage counselor, married for over 35 years and I can tell that once you set a solid foundation for your marriage, you will have little problems along the way b

You may wish to contact me.

Puremind1225:
Just get married first and worry about marriage worries later

marriage will never work for her cos she doesn’t have a mind that accommodates it

It’s not a curse cos she doesn’t like things that seems normal, she complains about things that are not big deal n marriage is all about compromise

It’s not a curse but I don’t see marriage working for her with that kind of mindset n attitude

You are not ready. When you are you will know

OP!
OP!!
OP!!!

How many times i called you?
Listen, just be you o.
Happiness is free and you only live once.
If your mind is not there, just don't do it.
You know yourself better.

A word is enough for the wise.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy and independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind.
As a single, Im very much at peace with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no questions my eating habits as is sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like craze and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give that up scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home and i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

The problem here is your mindset

You are the only one to change your perception about life and marriage

Talk to God he alone will put things well for you

All those things and issues you mention are what makes marriage

You can't run away from them but you can control them

Lastly, any man you intend getting married to, you have to lecture him on things you want and things that irritates you

So if he accepts you with that, then you can go ahead

But if he fail to accept you that way, just end it there

Marriage is fun if you marry the right man! You probably got your mindset because you didn't meet the right guy when you needed one, but don't rush it now because the pastor may not be what he seems! Also, you should understudy each other very well before making commitments

Godwin4444:
marriage will never work for her cos she doesn’t have a mind that accommodates it

It’s not a curse cos she doesn’t like things that seems normal, she complains about things that are not big deal n marriage is all about compromise

It’s not a curse but I don’t see marriage working for her with that kind of mindset n attitude

Yeah. This is exactly what I'm saying.
Of course you won't see anything in my concerns and worries for those things and it's easy for you to say it's not a big deal because you're not the one doing them but your wife. so you don't know what it feels like. Madam is the one doing everything that's why it is not a big deal.


Excuse me!

.

Do what makes you happy.

..

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Marriage is not by force. No need to enter into it and be miserable.

EriMma1:
Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single.

u dey ur 40s now , madame . after becoming evening newspaper wit wide puzzy wey no man wants , na to start shouting u'r too independent for marriage

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Mehn
You must be a very lazy person o!, Better remain single abeg.
I don't think a man would even want such attributes in his wife.

.

Wonderful!!!

Time is running out on you and menopause is calling you gradually, beware!

Don't get married.

Especially not to a pastor. Most especially not to THAT pastor. He's a weak and manipulative man that could not approach you himself.

Plus, you can forget everything about independence if you get married to a pastor. Religion demands a slavish devotion of wife to husband even when it's undeserved.

Then, there's pregnancy.

Did you know that some pregnancies can lead to broken ribs?

If you're happy with your single life, LIVE it. Don't let anyone shame or pressure you into marriage.

Few people enjoy their marriages yet they keep inviting people into it.
Why?
'Cause misery loves company.

Don't give in.

By the way, it's easier to get out of the arrangement if you just tell the guy and his goons this:

"I have prayed about it and the Holy Spirit revealed to me that Pastor A. is not the will of God for me."

Don't give in.