₦airaland Forum

I’m sorry for posting this here but trust me I have no choice. posting this because I’m struggling with feelings of self-loathing, emotional disconnection, and difficulty with relationships. I don’t know how to fix it, and I’m looking for advice or insight from anyone who might have experienced something similar.

Here’s how it all begin

When I was around eight years old, I was sexually abused by a cousin, who was also very young at the time. Although I didn’t fully understand the impact of what happened, I now realize how deeply it affected me. This experience seems to have shaped the way I view relationships, intimacy, and my own self-worth.

As I grew older, I developed a high sex drive and began to sexualize women, which feels unhealthy and out of my control. Despite this, I’ve never been able to experience a genuine emotional connection with most women. It’s as though I can’t connect on that level, especially in romantic relationships. There have been a few rare instances where I’ve felt a deep bond with a woman, but even then, I couldn’t imagine being physically intimate with them. It’s like something is blocking me from fully experiencing love.

I’m beginning to fear that I may be incapable of truly loving someone in the way I believe love should be. This fear is overwhelming, and it scares me because I don’t know how to change it.

I also struggle with self-worth. I dislike the way I look and often avoid mirrors because I can’t stand what I see. I feel disconnected from myself, and it’s hard to believe in my own value. On top of this, I have financial struggles and other life pressures that make me feel inadequate.

I’ve tried reaching out for help online, but I rarely get responses, and when I do, they haven’t been supportive or understanding. I feel lost and unsure of how to move forward. I’m scared!!

I am scared I will remain like this forever... I am with my Parents and siblings. We are close, but we are far away from each other. I am tired of pretending to be okay. Am not and I need help..

No hard feelings.. Everyone's honest opinion is needed please, I can't get more broken than this anymore so it's fine.

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QuinQ:
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Which club, what's that?