Let me say dis is happening to me cos i see no reason why nairalanders's should advice an imaginary person.
I met a girl wen i was in my pre degree programme, like a month after dating i wanted to make love to her but she refused(claimed she was a virgin). She told me she will allow me disvirgin her right there if i will promise to marry her. She looked serious but i was too young to make such a commitment i tot so i stood up and told her we should just be friends... Annoyingly, she left, no phones then so we didnt see till 200l, we started friendship again and led to a relationship. Dis time, i asked if she was still a virgin and she said yes. She told me she dated a guy but not even a kiss was involved. I tot i was becomin a guy whom a serious relationship is not bad for so we started but d tot of sexing her just didnt come. Truth is i prefered going to sex my side chicks.
During IT year, cos of guys talks like never trust a girl no matter wat, i decided to now sex her, i found out she wasn't wat i expected thou tight if u understand wat i mean, i asked her about it but she said she was a virgin, after som persuasion, with tears she said she was molested as a child by an area uncle then. I forgave her but it put a whole in my heart.
Somtin happened , somtimes she chats on bb wit dat her ex boyf whose now married but recently during dia chat, d guy asked wen she was gettin married n she told him family introduction is soon so d guy accused her of not trying to invite him for her wedding and she said i must invite u now as per first love. Wen i saw it, i was not myself kinda, i put it up to her and she started cryin again withot saying anything concrete but dis time, it widened dat hole in my heart. I try to forget it but i wake up somtimes 3-4 a.m most days wit it as my first tot. The truth is it worries me. I av not spoken to her about it since 3weeks ago nor seen her.
Pls i dont want it on frontpage cos d persons involved could see it, just sensible advice from adults. Tanx!

naijaboiy:
i want to understand something please.

You mean you can't marry her because she wants to invite her first love to the wedding?

Calling the guy 'first love' heightened his suspicion. He feels she's probably not the secondary virgin she claims to be.

It is a trust issue and I think it is a big issue.

Dis laplace na correct guy, infact u are there

Very dicey situation here.

Never go into a marriage without trust,if you don't trust her,biko free her.

Calling the guy first love might hurt,but its the simple truth..if you can't live by it,quit now.

First love?
It is definitely one of 2 thing
1. She called him that jokingly but there is actually nothing going on between the two of them
2. There is something going on between the 2 of them

From the context of the chat, I would say option 1 is most likely correct and there is nothing going on between them. However what worries me is the fact that she is still chatting with her married ex and they seem to be very close. And as par the whole molestation thing, it is definitely a lie. I believe the truth is you found her out and she quickly used molestation as an excuse for not being a virgin. If it was true she would have told you about the molestation BEFORE you had sex with her and not after.

Bro I would advise you to slow your roll. Keep marriage off the agenda for now and study your babe cos believe me she is definitely keeping secrets from you. You know what they say, marry in haste repent at leisure. So please, please and please POSTPONE all marriage plans till you are ABSOLUTELY certain that she is the right person for you.

Marry her and enter one chance

@ all;tanx for ur advice. January makes our courtship or watsover name its called 10 yrs. She's had intimate male friends dat i now have dirty thoughts about. Our families know eachother very well. If i decide to leave her, it'll look unfair cos she's 28+. I'll find it hard to trust her again anyway!

You are dealing with a runs girl, this girl is playing you like chess, but yet again, you have side chics too. Does it really matter who you marry?you didn't portray yourself as responsible , you too can't be trusted, we are who we attract. She is playing you just like you have been playing her.

^ sounds harsh but true.

Dis one is strong

No she is yes not worth marrying.
Because of the following reasons.

1. Because jjkososoqoqkwhquwjkwknen jjhhjskkdke rkdkdkd diisowis sosooskesn.

2. U no that girls heart are kldoosjebbs djdoodkuwhw yjdjdhsh lsosisudhd soodidjdh

3. Sacrifice, yes sacrifice jjdkrkekejekekj ejejjwhw euueuue uueur euueuejdusje eodkkdkej rjj.

4. Understanding. wndjdjdjjejsdhuwuwhe eueuueh ejejjeuduue durueuueuw .


Thank u

Hmm. Op, Looking at yourself, you also are not clean. You have side Chicks. You are not faithful.So whats the problem? You are scared that she could have one or two things with her Ex? Isnt he married? if you wanna be absolutely sure someone is cheating on you, you need Proof. Without it, your suspicions are baseless.

About she being worth it or not, you have every moral justification to worry about that if you are clean. If you are not, then take it that you are attracted to whom you deserve. In the end, its your choice to make.

^ so true, but if i was ur brother...would dat be ur advice?? I mean beyond d problem, which way forward?

She isn't worth it

Some ladies like being familiar with everybody including their Exes. Its very wrong. I dislike it. Its an open door to infidelity.. What are you still doing with somebody you rejected and termed "Ex" which means "Past" ? If not that they still cherish the past moments spent together..

Most ladies don't have sense.

But you are not cleaner than her either.

Dat girl na ASHY.....trust me

Dem don wipe her like 65 times b4 den

NAIJA BABES: lying on uncles since the days of Socrates

guy, don't marry her.

and don't even think of trusting her.