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Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 4:44pm On Sep 28, 2015
cococandy:

Getting her head out of the clouds.
Lol.
Most definitely. cheesy
She doesn't need anyone to tell her now that sex comes won't responsibilities.

I'm still a bit old fashioned about some things though so it's the part where she gets to see her mom nayked that makes me uncomfortable.

I mean for her age.
Serious? I've always believed a mother and daughter should not ever be uncomfortable with each other, ofcourse there should be boundaries and respect but she should be able to confide in you. I don't really see that happening, if she thinks it's uncomfortable to see you naked.grin
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 4:54pm On Sep 28, 2015
5minsmadness:
Double post.

It's just plain abnormal for a mother to let her 13yr old see her in so much pain and agony in the name of teaching a lesson. I wonder which doctor or nurse allowed that in the first place.




In fact I'm beginning to realise this is a cooked up story jo.
Best believe it's real, a 13 years old girl is mentally mature to an extent, don't argue it.

Girls grow up faster than boys.

3 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Nobody: 5:26pm On Sep 28, 2015
freecocoa:
But they are both doing the same na.grin

True that. Na the method different.

I cannot have a child that misbehaves to my face, i talk to her and she locks me out of her room, in my own house ooo. I cannot even dash her slap, because she go call Police. If I kuku talk toomuch, she go pack comot go rent house, after all, government go give am small stipend to survive. Aaaarrrggghhh!

Mbanu, I still prefer Naija method. We dey do ooo. . .with fear and trembling grin

2 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 5:38pm On Sep 28, 2015
Phema:


True that. Na the method different.

I cannot have a child that misbehaves to my face. I talk to her and she locks me out of her room, in my own house ooo. If I kuku talk toomuch, she go pack comot go rent house, after all, government go give am stipend to survive.

Mbanu, I still prefer Naija method. . .with fear and trembling grin
I don't think your daughter should be able to do that, that largely depends on you. Not all kids bred in the US are like that, there are some naija kids that beat up their parents, plus it's not like us nigerians are open minded, everything seems to be a big deal.grin

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Nobody: 5:40pm On Sep 28, 2015
I find it very awkward and I think that it can be traumatic to witness the birth of a child. This kind of shock is absolutely unnecessary when she can show her daughter a documentary about teenage mothers. Tell her about google and youtube.

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Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Nobody: 5:43pm On Sep 28, 2015
freecocoa:
I don't think your daughter should be able to do that, that largely depends on you. Not all kids bred in the US are like that, there are some naija kids that beat up their parents, plus it's not like us nigerians are open minded, everything seems to be a big deal.grin

Oh no. We are speaking on a general note here. How much a misbehaving kid can get away with in the US versus Nigeria. Same parents, same child, same scenerio in both locations.

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by raumdeuter: 5:45pm On Sep 28, 2015
WHy did sh start from the childbirth?

WHy didnt the mother invite the daughter to the place where it all started

When she and her partner were making the child so the daughter can learn better

This one she do na half education

3 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 5:48pm On Sep 28, 2015
Phema:


Oh no. We are speaking on a general note here. How much a misbehaving kid can get away with in the US versus Nigeria. Same parents, same child, same scenerio in both locations.
He/she would get away with more in the states.

grin
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Stillfire: 6:50pm On Sep 28, 2015
KanwuliaJara:
My people!
I took care of a lady that had her 3rd daughter 2 days ago. The oldest is 13. She allowed her teenage daughter to watch her WHOLE VAG INAL BIRTH from LABOR to AFTERBIRTH!

She advocates young girls being allowed to witness this "private ceremony" as a the ultimate education concerning WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

I never thought of this and have MIXED feelings about this.

Women in the house, UNA GO GET LIVER do this kain tin? undecided

Whether you get fruit or vegetable of the womb or blokos is not the issue.

How can women educate young girls to make responsible choices and make less mistakes?

We all know about teenage pregnancies, STIs, STDs, abortion and all that can affect the female child more significantly.

I am still thinking. . . . .

Nope, it's not that serious. shocked
But the woman is the only one that knows her kid. Maybe shock works on her. My parents thankfully did not have to use shock to get us to act right. grin The idea that if you had se.x, God will not be happy with you and you might get pregnant and the following embarrassment to myself and family was enough for me o (Talking about STI's/STDs to kids were not even as popular then and still it was enough). grin I don't know about kids of nowadays though if that would work. sad But are children now goats that they can't listen to simple instructions from parents, that they need shock to get any message across to them? shocked

If I had seen that kind of thing at 13, I can assure you I would have fainted! grin In fact I changed my career path multiple times because of things like that, lol. So I no get that kain liver. grin

3 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 7:16pm On Sep 28, 2015
Stillfire:


Nope, it's not that serious. shocked
But the woman is the only one that knows her kid. Maybe shock works on her. My parents thankfully did not have to use shock to get us to act right. grin The idea that if you had se.x, God will not be happy with you and you might get pregnant and the following embarrassment to myself and family was enough for me o (Talking about STI's/STDs to kids were not even as popular then and still it was enough). grin I don't know about kids of nowadays though if that would work. sad But are children now goats that they can't listen to simple instructions from parents, that they need shock to get any message across to them? shocked

If I had seen that kind of thing at 13, I can assure you I would have fainted! grin In fact I changed my career path multiple times because of things like that, lol. So I no get that kain liver. grin
Yea, some children don't need to see this to stay in line but seriously I recommend it for girls who won't listen, if she refuses to keep herself jejely, let her realise she go carry the baby o, my mum will say "if you have sex and get pregnant, I must know and God knows you will carry and deliver that baby, na village get you next, you'll drop out of school because you can't leave your baby for me and go to school na"grin That's all she needed to say.

But some girls no dey hear sha.
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by 5minsmadness: 8:04pm On Sep 28, 2015
LordReed:


But experience by proxy is better, abi is that not what you wrote?

Pls read what I wrote again.

5minsmadness:


As per the topic, yes experience is the best teacher. However it is not often the most "desired". Better to learn as proxy from other people's experiences.

I said experience is the best teacher. But it is also a brutal teacher. Hence it is not often the most desired teacher. It is better to learn via proxy i.e it is better to learn through others experiences so you don't learn the bitter and hard way of first ha d experience.


Get it now?
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by LordReed(m): 8:11pm On Sep 28, 2015
5minsmadness:


Pls read what I wrote again.



I said experience is the best teacher. But it is also a brutal teacher. Hence it is not often the most desired teacher. It is better to learn via proxy i.e it is better to learn through others experiences so you don't learn the bitter and hard way of first ha d experience.


Get it now?

I get it very well which I am asking you why I need to experience a live birth first hand in other to be able to talk about it. I have learnt about it by proxy so why is that not sufficient? Why must you write "you have never experienced a live birth" if I have learnt by proxy? Also how does it detract from the 13year old's experience?
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Nobody: 8:14pm On Sep 28, 2015
5minsmadness:


Pls read what I wrote again.



I said experience is the best teacher. But it is also a brutal teacher. Hence it is not often the most desired teacher. It is better to learn via proxy i.e it is better to learn through others experiences so you don't learn the bitter and hard way of first ha d experience.


Get it now?

The question here is, what does the mother want her daughter to experience? That child birth is exhausting and painful? Everyone knows it! It has not stopped any woman from getting pregnant. The mother's goal is to make her daughter understand that she is too young to raise a child. To understand it, she doesn't need her daughter to witness the birth of a child. It would make more sense to show her what it means to raise a baby. Let her watch a documentary about teenage moms or let her take care of a baby (assisted) for a couple of days.

I am with you on this. It was absolutely unnecessary and it is not natural to take a 13-year-old into the delivery room.
And what she has not considered is the risk of a shock or even trauma the daughter may experience that could affect her for longer than it should.

3 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Stillfire: 8:23pm On Sep 28, 2015
freecocoa:
Yea, some children don't need to see this to stay in line but seriously I recommend it for girls who won't listen, if she refuses to keep herself jejely, let her realise she go carry the baby o, my mum will say "if you have sex and get pregnant, I must know and God knows you will carry and deliver that baby, na village get you next, you'll drop out of school because you can't leave your baby for me and go to school na"grin That's all she needed to say.

But some girls no dey hear sha.


Lol, not only scary pregnancy tales, but as a teenager, boys were nothing other than a nuisance for me. angry grin tongue
It's not as if I did not read those er.otic novels o, I read it, enjoyed every bit of it and had crushes. grin
But to find myself entangled to one silly brat because he wanna prove to his mates he can 'toast' a babe, absolutely not possible. That kept me in line as well, didn't want to give one idi.ot such pleasures. cool

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by cococandy(f): 8:30pm On Sep 28, 2015
Phema:


In my opinion, Nigeria is morally better than the US.

There is a difference between hiding to do what you know will be frowned upon and doing same with impunity. MHO.
Nigerians hide to do bad things?
Not in my experience.
In fact bad is the normal in many cases I've seen with my naija brethren.

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Karleb(m): 8:34pm On Sep 28, 2015
ifyalways:
When you live in the west. . .

Kids are free to spank their parents, move in with their bf's whenever, abortion is legal and other weird liberties, I don't blame the woman.


Where are you going with all these propaganda?

The last time I checked, the only state where abortion is legal is Imo. undecided

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 8:35pm On Sep 28, 2015
Stillfire:


Lol, not only scary pregnancy tales, but as a teenager, boys were nothing other than a nuisance for me. angry grin tongue
It's not as if I did not read those er.otic novels o, I read it, enjoyed every bit of it and had crushes. grin
But to find myself entangled to one silly brat because he wanna prove to his mates he can 'toast' a babe, absolutely not possible. That kept me in line as well, didn't want to give one idi.ot such pleasures. cool

Your head dey there, those boys no reach then.grin There was no need for me, there was a goal ahead and distractions was what boys would be then.
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by 5minsmadness: 8:56pm On Sep 28, 2015
LordReed:


I get it very well which I am asking you why I need to experience a live birth first hand in other to be able to talk about it. I have learnt about it by proxy so why is that not sufficient? Why must you write "you have never experienced a live birth" if I have learnt by proxy? Also how does it detract from the 13year old's experience?

You are trolling.
Over and out.

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by ifyalways(f): 8:58pm On Sep 28, 2015
Karleb:


Where are you going with all these propaganda?

The last time I checked, the only state where abortion is legal is Imo. undecided
Are YOU OK at all?
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by gidjah(m): 9:02pm On Sep 28, 2015
Hmmm,.. This matter is dangerously debatable abi my people?and we can argue this out from now till sunrise tomorrow.
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Nobody: 9:42pm On Sep 28, 2015
cococandy:

Nigerians hide to do bad things?
Not in my experience.
In fact bad is the normal in many cases I've seen with my naija brethren.

More like immorality, with focus on sexual immorality amongst teenagers.
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by tintingz(m): 9:56pm On Sep 28, 2015
Maybe the mother suspect her daughter is sleeping with a guy. undecided
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Kimoni: 11:35pm On Sep 28, 2015
raumdeuter:
WHy did sh start from the childbirth?

WHy didnt the mother invite the daughter to the place where it all started

When she and her partner were making the child so the daughter can learn better

This one she do na half education

cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy cheesy
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by bukatyne(f): 9:14pm On Sep 29, 2015
Phema:


In my opinion, Nigeria is morally better than the US.

There is a difference between hiding to do what you know will be frowned upon and doing same with impunity. MHO.

I think we thrive more on hypocrisy

And some vices are not done in secret.

1 Like

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by crackhaus: 4:20pm On Sep 30, 2015
freecocoa:
Your head dey there, those boys no reach then.grin There was no need for me, there was a goal ahead and distractions was what boys would be then.

Story Story... gringrin
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 6:08pm On Sep 30, 2015
crackhaus:

Story Story... gringrin
Dey there na.tongue
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Nobody: 8:25pm On Sep 30, 2015
5minsmadness:


Excuse me.
You want to compare a girl seeing her menses in the middle of the night to an average of 10hrs of intense pain and screaming of a loved one? Of contracting swollen abdomens and sudden rupture with outflowing voluminous amounts of blood, meconium and amniotic fluid with the attendant smell?

Have u heard of post-abortal sepsis? Post-partum hemorrhage? Post-partum Psychosis (the whole labour event drives the woman MAD), Post-partum depression?

Pls the experience of menstruation and labour can NEVER be compared. This is not about winning an argument, this is pure FACT.


Not knocking the miracle of childbirth.....but that smell is one of the most traumatising things in the world....(for me at least)
apart from other, attendant delivery conditions, adorable or horrifying (eg baby's head appears and the pain, respectively) as the case may be

LordReed, menstrual cramp is a picnic...5minsmadness is sooo right...from your posts I know the one who has been in on deliveries
I am way older than 13 cheesy, and I am a doctor, but the smell still traumatises me silly
How much more a young teenager embarassed

The woman may have scarred her precious baby off having babies for ever lipsrsealed
I say, bad idea

2 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by Stillfire: 8:37pm On Sep 30, 2015
freecocoa:
Your head dey there, those boys no reach then.grin There was no need for me, there was a goal ahead and distractions was what boys would be then.

I know right? And the more you turned them down, the more they kept coming back, especially the bad boys of the school. shocked OMG one used a guinea pig to terrorize me out of my class because I've been turning him down. Very wicked boy! grin
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by crackhaus: 10:16pm On Sep 30, 2015
freecocoa:
Dey there na.tongue
Freecocoa, the reason you may not have had a bf then is not because you didn't have need for them...and definitely NOT because you had some 'goal' or because dey no reach. cheesycheesy

The only reason is because you must have lived a very sheltered life that focused on only three cardinal points namely: Home, Church, and school.
Any naughty bizniz outside of these would have put you under the direct line of fire of daddy's and/or mummy's cane... cheesycheesy

Leave all that story wey una dey drop and gerrara hia mehn grin

2 Likes

Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 7:18am On Oct 01, 2015
crackhaus:

Freecocoa, the reason you may not have had a bf then is not because you didn't have need for them...and definitely NOT because you had some 'goal' or because dey no reach. cheesycheesy

The only reason is because you must have lived a very sheltered life that focused on only three cardinal points namely: Home, Church, and school.
Any naughty bizniz outside of these would have put you under the direct line of fire of daddy's and/or mummy's cane... cheesycheesy

Leave all that story wey una dey drop and gerrara hia mehn grin
Smh, you no sabi anything walai.

My life was not as you assume dear, yea we had rules and whatnot but didn't mean we couldn't do things on our own, my parents weren't the type you feared, so staying in line was never out of fear of cane.tongue

I did have goals dearie, no be making mouth or anything but I was never your average kid, so yea, boys woulda been nothing but a distraction, bite me.tongue
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by crackhaus: 8:23am On Oct 01, 2015
freecocoa:
Smh, you no sabi anything walai.

My life was not as you assume dear, yea we had rules and whatnot but didn't mean we couldn't do things on our own, my parents weren't the type you feared, so staying in line was never out of fear of cane.tongue

I did have goals dearie, no be making mouth or anything but I was never your average kid, so yea, boys woulda been nothing but a distraction, bite me.tongue
Story for the gods, my dear not-average-kid Freecocoa... cheesycheesy
Re: Is Experience Really The Best Teacher? by freecocoa(f): 8:27am On Oct 01, 2015
crackhaus:

Story for the gods, my dear not-average-kid Freecocoa... cheesycheesy
You are allowed to believe whatever you wish.cheesycheesy

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