Gloriagee:


It is my role to be his help meet not to take care of him. Listening to some guys talk bout getting married sounds like their would be wife's job description involves being a cook, washer woman n still sexual partner...in other words, taking care of 'him'.

I'm just imagining two tired people coming back from church, where kindness n empathy are being taught. One switches on super sports n is lounging waiting for his carer to serve him dinner, while the other starts cooking indomie n in between switches to eba.

What stops him from helping out? Nothing major? I'm assuming the woman has to work, wake up early to beat Lagos traffic n still contribute to the household purse.

but when e reach time for school fees, house rent, this or that you women will not remember to help or be a help mate. but if e reach house work.....una brain go remember help mate. most women . ....deceiving themselves since eve gave Adam the apple.

Speak for yourself, dahling or speak for the women in ur circle

nnamdiosu:



but when e reach time for school fees, house rent, this or that you women will not remember to help or be a help mate. but if e reach house work.....una brain go remember help mate. most women . ....deceiving themselves since eve gave Adam the apple.

IDEApro:
Marriage can be very sweet and interesting if you'd use your wisdom and can be very frustrating if you're insensitive and immature

Let me share...

I and wify(sic) came back from a church programme 8pm on Tuesday. She asked If I will join her in the indomie noodle she was preparing for dinner and I said No that I desired swallow. Something to fill the stomach properly cos there is this delicious oha soup she prepared the previous day. Honestly, I wish and scheme to finish all the liver,towel and other orishirishi used to prepare it. They were so fresh...

Few minutes later, my EBA and oha soup were served and my expectations grew into anger...this woman don serve me water soup... I look across to her doing justice to her well prepared garnished indomie...(oh men, that indomie tight...green pea, carrot, egg, lettuce) and shouted in frustration: ''Why is this soup watery, am I a prisoner?

Being angry that she is having a better dinner, I raised my displeasure to the power of X5. She explained that the soup I have is the amount she could scoop from the blocked quantity and that she complimented it with water. See me see more anger...I abandoned the food and hit the bed in annoyance. This time it was a mind game. The more she beg to prepare another one the more I cunningly form ''James bond'' and slept off afterwards without eating.

Next morning, after preparing to go out I ask for fried plantain and pap, she said whatever I need I should go get it myself (hangover from lastnight) and I replied; ''since you have decided to starve me, don't shout harder to me any other night again cos I don't wanna faint'' and smiled. I guess she stole a smile, went into the room, got dressed and came out requesting I assist her with money to go see a friend. Women! I quickly dip hand into pocket and handed her a thousand naira bill and she left with just saying thank you.


I was at a lost whether to get angry again or smile off our foolishness when she came right back in with bunch of plantain then I knew my breakfast is guaranteed.
Afterwards she ask me to apologize for rejecting her food the previous night which I did and she became happy.

Umunwayi....God perfect gift.

Sweet story. The beauty and pain oof marriage. It's all about understanding and maturity. Period. Many will have good intentions but will not want betray it, (like you wife got money to get plantain for your breakfast but made you believe she wants to see a friend) you just need to have patience to see event play out

kmcutez:


Yes we all agree the story had a sweet ending, but I am also baffled that no one was willing to point out his wrong doing. His wife took out time to prepare dinner for him, and instead of him to say thank you, he got angry that the soup was not up to his standard. His wife was even willing to sacrifice more time and energy to prepare another meal for him, and instead of him again to be grateful and pleased, he got more angry. He even had the audacity to request for breakfast without first apologizing for the childish tantrum he threw the previous night.

You will be surprised that the wife might relate this same story in a not so forgiving/sweet way as the husband did. My brother, sometimes it is the little foxes that spoil the whole vineyard. It is those tiny tiny little details that we overlook or deem as not important that are the most important.

God bless you. I remember Charles Swindoll in his book on marriage "Strike the original match" talks about this extensively. He even has a whole chapter dedicated to these and he titles it little foxes spoil the vine.

My only contribution is that anything that happens during marriage is 80% fixable in marriage.

A willing couple can always spot and root out those little foxes. The main problem are the secrets kept from each other before marriage.

I had one case wherein the man left the home shortly after their 3rd wedding anniversary.

He paid one year rent and about 6months into the rent, he got a self contained apartment else where and moved out of the home leaving everything for the wife save his few personal belongings and some other basic stuffs.

Now this was what happened. They have been dating for over a decade and during the course of the courtship, she got pregnant for him 3times.

According to the man, the first pregnancy was aborted jointly and he regretted immediately the deed was done which ofcourse he paid for and never really forgave himself. He never stopped to imagine what the child would have looked like and other stuffs like that.

He felt he was a coward to have gone that route even though he was a student and he felt the business he was managing with his girl( now wife) would have catered for the financial bills.

Trying not blame the girl and in other go give her certain assurances of a future together since he was just in 100 level while the girl was a SSCE holder , he went to get her a commitment ring.

Funny story I tell you. He went to those aboki, bought a ring and gave it to her as a sign of their forever. That was in 2007/08 and he was 21.

Late 2009, the girl got pregnant and went for abortion without his consent and without him knowing she was ever pregnant. He, however, got to know after the deed had been done and he was super mad at her.

He felt like ending the relationship at that time but for the love for her and they were practically co-habiting even though she still retained her old apartment which she stayed with her sister, his apartment was more comfortable hence she spent most of of time there.

2010 , he became sick and unknown to him, she took in , aborted again and kept it a secret. He graduated, did his Masters.

His induction was held in Abuja, his family came, she never came to celebrate his biggest day with him cos he was so stubborn the family thought he won't see the 4 walls of a university. He excuse was that someone needed to make more money since moment was been spent at Abuja. He overlooked those stuffs and many others.

They got married in 2015 and he got to know of her misdeed in 2017 when they could not get pregnant 2 years after marriage. She was unremorseful and he even found out that she was also two years older.

His anger was he only got to know because you must be truthful to your doctor and she only spilled because doctor needed to know.

Her excuse, if she told him before marriage, he would have left her and marry. That she had planned on telling him after their first child.

He called a family meeting, family intervened and ask that he forgives her since it happened before marriage.

But since she refused to explain why and how come she did it again despite the vow and commitment they had never to go down road again, he has been unable to close the case and really move on.

He also felt betrayed as the only reason he could make up was either she felt he was not going to survive the sickness of 2010 which was quite life threatening, or she felt he wasn't good enough to start a family with.

He felt there was no need wasting more time pretending he has forgiving her, when he cannot find closure and often wonders what other secrets are been kept.

By the 3rd anniversary there was still no sign of a baby and the wife had gone from emotional torture and abuse to using sex as a weapon and a bargaining chip. He felt it was the height of it and not when they are trying to make babies and take away the shame he was begining to feel in his circle of friends that he was not man enough.

His last straw was when the wife started blaming him too for her inability to conceive saying his sperm was dead. He just had about enough and moved out.

We are still in court. Divorce matter and na now the wife eye dey clear small small but I doubt if the man want the marriage back.

How we can all learn a thing or two from this life story.