naijaboiy:
[b]i support you that violence is not acceptable and that women are supposed to take actions when such thing repeats itself. But the problem with you is that you always write as if you are addressing an audience filled with people in the same geographical location as you are.

I keep telling you, this is not Europe. How many times do women down here successfully report their husband to the police and an action is taken? It is hardly applied here except you are wealthy or at least have enough money to bribe the police to arrest your husband and even hire a lawyer if it goes legal.

What most of them do is just to simply leave the man and continue with their lives.

Secondly, I think it is not far fetched as to why some women still remain in the relationship. If a man hits his woman the first time and he apologizes, definitely she will forgive him because she will accept it as a mistake and let things slide because she loves him.

Women are known generally to endure a lot of things from men so it is not surprising why so many women who find themselves in such situations act that way. They keep forgiving because they keep seeing it as a mistake he made. Nobody will just go directly to report an assault on the first, second and sometimes even third occurrence, because they believe their man will truly change.

Women who have gone on to report such cases of battering are known to have encountered past experiences before they finally gave up and took action.

You cannot blame them at all. Let the men who indulge in such crude actions stop taking advantage of their woman's forgiving nature to hurt her the more. The attackers are the problem, not the victims.[/b]

firstking01:
Reserved wetin?...you created the thread and still secured ftc, are you this greedy

KingCheezyPuff:
°•I just feel like insulting you up an down this thread
.. but I won't.

Vanquay:


You shouldn't, some of us have actual lives outside Nairaland and are busy with reality unlike some people that rely on food stamps

Vinshu:


So because there is scarcity of men means a woman should remain in such relationship? I don't understand please

KingCheezyPuff:
°I know you meant ta rile me
.... but Im not.

Vanquay:


Finding intelligent women on Nairaland is easier than finding a pin in the ocean.

You said most women choose to remain in false hope and I said its because they broke Golddiggas

°Vanquay,
The average man doesn't have gold to dig.
And domestic violence victims stay for a variety of reasons ,best known to them.
And do you know that some of these women are working ones
Therefore they are not dependent on the man.
As I said their reasons for enduring differ

Vanquay:


See, it's 5am in Texas, are you getting ready to go get new food stamps?

You got fire,I must say.
...But I've not burned

KingCheezyPuff:
Vanquay,The average man dosent have gold to dig.
An domestic violence victims stay for a variety of reasons ,best known to them.
And do you know that some if these women are working ones
Therefore they are not dependent on the man.
As I said their reasons for enduring differ

Vanquay:


It doesn't have to be gold, the prestige and Influence that comes with being a MRS also makes them stay but the bottom line is they Golddiggas as they cling to the relationship because they are benefiting from it.

And yes I have fire

Vinshu:

Lol.

ronald4lif:
It's true that in most cases women are responsible for the violence they experience in relationship of whatever form as they have a choice to quit the affair. But it's also true that most of these women are financially handicapped and also 'forced' to stay coz of what people may say.

Nigeria is one of the worst countries to be a single mum or divorcee woman as the society will stigmatised you while men see you as rejects and uncultured. On reporting DV to the police they may even tell you to go and apologise to your hubby and stop being disrespectful to avoid beating. In some cases, your parents and siblings will caution you never to utter a word when your hubby is talking and must respect him no matter what. They don't even want to hear divorce as its sacrilegious and their religion condemns it.

Sometime last year a family friend told me how his sister is constantly being battered by her hubby and she has packed out of their home to a friend's place. She then briefed her senior brother about what has happened and her decision to finally quit the abusive marriage hoping to get some moral support from him. To her dismay, the brother told her to go back to her husband and plead for forgiveness and she should 'always' obey him. Now for someone with such mindset, just pause and think about the kind of things his (the bro) wife endures whenever she 'disobeys' him?

Her junior bro was furious and wanted to go beat the hell out of the lunatic but coz of distance he couldn't at the time. He was the only one who gave her the support she needed and they have finalised their divorce. Many ladies who are going through such abuse just need the support of their siblings and family to move on but the relatives don't give them the encouragement they need. The things some people go through in the name of marriage is appalling and totally unacceptable.

Vinshu:


I believe they were alive before they met him

skarlett:
Its true most abused women aren't doing themselves good by staying but when the man is their major source of income, where can they go?

joseph1832:
Back to their father's house. That's a good enough place to start from.