friendlyadvice:
Hehe obviously tonyspike and kryptonian1987 have not seen this or them for don pounce on you by now

What's that

kryptonian1987:

What's that

this nigga talking shit about bvs Get him!!!!!

ben affleck
Hey I just heard that scoot never got his pay checks what gives man?
And who keeps sending me these prank letters? These aint funny no more
worker
Um boss? The town hall just blew up and scoot along with it
ben affleck
Really? Oh then back to work I guess
narrator
meanwhile jesse is working on micheal shannons body totally unsupervised
jesse eisenberg
Yes even though I'm not a scientist or a kryptonian I've stored vast knowledge and technicalities thanks to the 10minute tutorial video carla gugino gave me
carla gugino
You're welcome
jesse eisenberg
Now time to re-animate micheal shannon by splicing my dna with micheal's dead corpse and shoving him into the lazarus pit
Wait why is there a lake in this space craft? How did no one get electrocuted before now?and how does my dna get to micheal shannon when my blood like totally difussed in this bigass lake? And what makes me so sure he will kill henry this time I mean they were 5 of them the last time and they didn't even get close to rumpling his shirt
zack snyder
shut up and make a joke before the audiences head explode
jesse eisenberg
Ok ok you flew too close to the sun
micheal shannon
Wait how does that make any sense is my skin tanned?
jesse eisenberg
No
micheal shannon
Is the sun suddenly harmful to kryptonians?
jesse eisenberg
What? No
micheal shannon
I don't get it was there a deleted scene or alternate ending in man of steel where I flew into the sun and got fragged
jesse eisenberg
Dude?
micheal shannon
*rolling eyes* Ok ok jeez
narrator
it's finale time and all the characters furiously prepare for it, ben affleck prepares by moping around like he was forced to eat cheese puffs outta a dudes a*ss
jeremy irons
So old man what are you doing?
ben affleck
I'm thinking because that's what old people do
jeremy irons
C'mon don't worry too much it's bad for your blood pressure and you know you got your athritis and all
audience
*rolling eyes* Ugh! we get it ben is an older batman
jeremy irons
So how exactly are you gonna win this fight against a dude who ripped your bat mobile apart by sneezing on it
audience #1
Oh my God it's fan service time
audience #2
Yea since he stashes his enemies weapons after their capture I bet he's gonna bulk up with banes venom and then distract henry with scarecrows gas and then do some crazy martial arts nerve-paralyzing move he got from the league of shadows and from kryptonian anatomy which he somehow knows about
ben affleck
Nah an anticipated fight like batman v superman should be totally unmemorable So I'll just borrow iron man's hulk buster, spray henry in the face with kryptonite and call it a day
narrator
diane lane also prepares for the finale by getting her a*ss kidnapped
diane lane
why hello sexy dude who looks like oliver martinez, you wanna pork me in the bathroom for old times sake
callan mulvey
First of all this isn't unfaithful, second you are 12 years older so ew and lastly I'm totally here to kidnap your a*ss for being henry's mother
diane lane
Finally! I mean with all the clues we carelessly leave behind what took y'all so long?(Gets kidnapped)
narrator
amy adams prepares for the finales by willingly walking into a trap
amy adams
Hey callan you totally look familiar oh sh*t
callan mulvey
Yea I'm about to kidnap your a*ss in this totally public place I just hope you aren't smart enough to scream and alert passersby
amy adams
(Gets kidnapped too)
narrator
gal prepares for the finale by being as boring as f*ck
gal gadot
Hmmm ben knows my secret identity so I've to run for it inmy invisible jet a commercial airplane but for the benefit of the audience let's take a sneak peak at the bleak future of DC
narrator
we are introduced to flash,aquaman and cyborg
ezra miller
Hi I'm an flash I fight crime and conceal my identity by not disconnecting the freaking surveillance camera
jason momoa
I'm aquaman the most unrelatable comic book character in the universe and don't judge me for taking on a movie that directors are avoiding...... I mean it's not like Game Of Thrones is gonna pay my mortgage
scientist
Hi I'm making a blooper video about experiments gone wrong now time to run around like an *diot while a dude screams like his nuts are on fire and the audience shake their heads in disappointment while marvel laugh theirs off
ryan reynolds
And I'm green lanter........
audience
(Holding up a tyre iron)What you say?
ryan reynolds
Er nothing
gal gadot
Yep I'm definitely leaving
audience
Wait for us

To be continued......

severee:
ben affleck
Hey I just heard that scoot never got his pay checks what gives man?
And who keeps sending me these prank letters? These aint funny no more
worker
Um boss? The town hall just blew up and scoot along with it
ben affleck
Really? Oh then back to work I guess
narrator
meanwhile jesse is working on micheal shannons body totally unsupervised
jesse eisenberg
Yes even though I'm not a scientist or a kryptonian I've stored vast knowledge and technicalities thanks to the 10minute tutorial video carla gugino gave me
carla gugino
You're welcome
jesse eisenberg
Now time to re-animate micheal shannon by splicing my dna with micheal's dead corpse and shoving him into the lazarus pit
Wait why is there a lake in this space craft? How did no one get electrocuted before now?and how does my dna get to micheal shannon when my blood like totally difussed in this bigass lake? And what makes me so sure he will kill henry this time I mean they were 5 of them the last time and they didn't even get close to rumpling his shirt
zack snyder
shut up and make a joke before the audiences head explode
jesse eisenberg
Ok ok you flew too close to the sun
micheal shannon
Wait how does that make any sense is my skin tanned?
jesse eisenberg
No
micheal shannon
Is the sun suddenly harmful to kryptonians?
jesse eisenberg
What? No
micheal shannon
I don't get it was there a deleted scene or alternate ending in man of steel where I flew into the sun and got fragged
jesse eisenberg
Dude?
micheal shannon
*rolling eyes* Ok ok jeez
narrator
it's finale time and all the characters furiously prepare for it, ben affleck prepares by moping around like he was forced to eat cheese puffs outta a dudes a*ss
jeremy irons
So old man what are you doing?
ben affleck
I'm thinking because that's what old people do
jeremy irons
C'mon don't worry too much it's bad for your blood pressure and you know you got your athritis and all
audience
*rolling eyes* Ugh! we get it ben is an older batman
jeremy irons
So how exactly are you gonna win this fight against a dude who ripped your bat mobile apart by sneezing on it
audience #1
Oh my God it's fan service time
audience #2
Yea since he stashes his enemies weapons after their capture I bet he's gonna bulk up with banes venom and then distract henry with scarecrows gas and then do some crazy martial arts nerve-paralyzing move he got from the league of shadows and from kryptonian anatomy which he somehow knows about
ben affleck
Nah an anticipated fight like batman v superman should be totally unmemorable So I'll just borrow iron man's hulk buster, spray henry in the face with kryptonite and call it a day
narrator
diane lane also prepares for the finale by getting her a*ss kidnapped
diane lane
why hello sexy dude who looks like oliver martinez, you wanna pork me in the bathroom for old times sake
callan mulvey
First of all this isn't unfaithful, second you are 12 years older so ew and lastly I'm totally here to kidnap your a*ss for being henry's mother
diane lane
Finally! I mean with all the clues we carelessly leave behind what took y'all so long?(Gets kidnapped)
narrator
amy adams prepares for the finales by willingly walking into a trap
amy adams
Hey callan you totally look familiar oh sh*t
callan mulvey
Yea I'm about to kidnap your a*ss in this totally public place I just hope you aren't smart enough to scream and alert passersby
amy adams
(Gets kidnapped too)
narrator
gal prepares for the finale by being as boring as f*ck
gal gadot
Hmmm ben knows my secret identity so I've to run for it inmy invisible jet a commercial airplane but for the benefit of the audience let's take a sneak peak at the bleak future of DC
narrator
we are introduced to flash,aquaman and cyborg
ezra miller
Hi I'm an flash I fight crime and conceal my identity by not disconnecting the freaking surveillance camera
jason momoa
I'm aquaman the most unrelatable comic book character in the universe and don't judge me for taking on a movie that directors are avoiding...... I mean it's not like Game Of Thrones is gonna pay my mortgage
scientist
Hi I'm making a blooper video about experiments gone wrong now time to run around like an *diot while a dude screams like his nuts are on fire and the audience shake their heads in disappointment while marvel laugh theirs off
ryan reynolds
And I'm green lanter........
audience
(Holding up a tyre iron)What you say?
ryan reynolds
Er nothing
gal gadot
Yep I'm definitely leaving
audience
Wait for us

To be continued......

hahaha!
na obsession won kill you so oh!
people are still debating abt BvS till date, just to tell u it has something they called: classical cultic in it...! unlike that done and dusted CW which no one talk about since 2months+ ago

kryptonian1987:


hahaha!
na obsession won kill you so oh!

What's this one saying?

kryptonian1987:


people are still debating abt BvS till date,

Debating? More like laffing I mean bvs is like a documentary on how to make an awful movie

kryptonian1987:

just to tell u it has something they called: classical cultic in it...!

Whatever helps you sleep at nite man

kryptonian1987:

unlike that done and dusted CW which no one talk about since 2months+ ago

I have a post for civil war as well you can look it up if you like

severee:

What's this one saying?


Debating? More like laffing I mean bvs is like a documentary on how to make an awful movie


Whatever helps you sleep at nite man


I have a post for civil war as well you can look it up if you like

why would I want to read it? that childish movie that is meant for teens.... the most overrated movie of the year!
despite all its powerful WoM and unbelievable very very high RT score, it couldn't even break the $450m mark , domestically... not even close to it

kryptonian1987:


why would I want to read it? that childish movie that is meant for teens.... the most overrated movie of the year!

"hahaha!
na obsession won kill you so oh!"
- wise words of kryptonian1987

kryptonian1987:


despite all its powerful WoM and unbelievable very very high RT score, it couldn't even break the $450m mark , domestically... not even close to it

Hmmm even tho it's actually one of the highest rated and grossing movies of this year?
Like I said whatever helps you sleep at nite

kryptonian1987:


hahaha!
na obsession won kill you so oh!
people are still debating abt BvS till date, just to tell u it has something they called: classical cultic in it...! unlike that done and dusted CW which no one talk about since 2months+ ago

Really dude?? You brought your fan boyism here too??

narrator
amy is dragged before jesse eisenberg so he can st*pidly reveal his plans
amy adams
Er you found out about the bullets right? Wait a minute why didn't I turn that over to anyone
jesse eisenberg
Bullets? What bullets?
amy adams
The bullets I found in da....ugh! So why are you openly slapping a kidnapping charge on your a*ss?
jesse eisenberg
how about we throw in an attempted murder charge in the mix cause I've tossed ben and henry in a epic match so ben can totally kill henry with the kryptonite he took off me
amy adams
O_o ok? So how do you get them together? Throw another "rob the f*ck outta me" dinner party?
jesse eisenberg
No actually what I did was
1. Uncover batman and superman's secret identity
2. Friended an african war lord
3. Waited till the said african warlord invited you over to somalianairomi for an interview
4. Then callan will out micheal cassidy as a spy because somehow the cia will want in on the action and will infiltrate the african warlords compound using you as cover
5. Then luckily henry in his destructive fashion will arrive just in time to destroy a missile and drone over the compound rendering the cia blind but not in time to find callan roasting the rebels
6.Then I bribe an african lady to lie that henry attacked the village luckily also the cia won't be stoked about sticking around to properly investigate the casualties(and the bullet holes in them) before deciding that calvin did it even though they never saw him take out the drone
7. Then I'll pay some dudes to kill a prisoner and make it look like its because he has a batman tatoo and no one will wonder why criminals with bat tats are more hated than the normal criminals
8. Then I'll pray like crazy for henry to watch the news and take offence with ben but not just toss ben in a jail cell with his pinky
9. Then I paid homage to breaking bad by rigging scoots wheel chair with explosives
jena malone
Number 9 was made possible because there was lead around the wheel chair which stopped henry from seeing the bomb(collects paycheck and leaves)
jesse eisenberg
10. Graffitti and send ben prank notes like a 10 year old then I........... hey why are you smiling? You're supposed to be terrified
amy adams
Because this all sounds like a parody of ozymandias plan from watchmen with extra cheesiness
jesse eisenberg
you dare laugh at my plans(tosses amy off a building)
amy adams
yawn! Oh I mean waaaaaaah! I'm so petrified oh the horror of falling to ones death, the terror the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh sorry I mean a........ I mean a......... Well I'm petrified?
henry caville
I've got you baby now if you excuse me I shall leave you unattended you know just incase you wanna get kidnapped again
amy adams
Wooo! What a rush, my hands aren't even shaking so I guess I should go talk to ben about how jesse is setting he and henry up..............or maybe I should just stand around till the movie needs me again
narrator
henry [s]grabs jesse by the ears and forces him to confess to his acts of terror in africa and metropolis[/s] confronts jesse with his epic constipated frown
henry cavill
Grrrrr! Why did you toss my girlfriend off the building?
jesse eisenberg
what makes you so sure I did it maliciously? for all I know we could have been waltzing and she slipped and fell off so what are you mad at me for?
henry cavill
cause the finger sandwiches at your party tasted like hot armpits and your wine tasted like piss that's why I hate you
jesse eisenberg
Anyway I kidnapped diane and now I shall force you to do my bidding muahahahahahahahaha!
henry cavill
yea sure like I can't circumnavigate the universe and find her within the fraction of a second*flips through script* oh I mean MOMMA!!!!! *sucks on his thumbs* ok what do you want?
jesse eisenberg
Well I want you to go fight ben
henry cavill
Why? are you gonna be watching?
jesse eisenberg
No
henry cavill
Is anyone gonna be watching?
jesse eisenberg
Er........no
henry cavill
Then why the f*ck am I fighting him?
jesse eisenberg
Because God didn't save me from my abusive father when I was a kid
henry cavill
wait what?
jesse eisenberg
You heard me
henry cavill
So you want vendetta for your dad beating your a*ss? How does that even add up? And what are you mad at me for? I'm no god you should be mad gal gadot instead she's the one whose a goddess and all
jesse eisenberg
just shut up and go kill ben ok? You've got one hour
henry cavill
Fine! By the way I'm just gonna holla my girl real quick you mind?
jesse eisenberg
*shrugs* she's your mom(hops into chopper)
narrator
henry meets with amy
henry cavill
he's got my mom
amy adams
Ok so go save her I mean you could torture jesse and get him to call off her hit or you use your super hearing or vision to track her I mean that should only take about 10minutes
henry cavill
Nah f*ck that, I'll rather go negotiate with a crazy dude gosh! Maybe I shouldn't have f*cked up his ride
cab man
Hey aint that superman? Why am I not totally taking a pic of him french kissing a metro chick and putting it on twitter or selling it to a journalist? *shrugs*
narrator
henry approaches ben but first he damages the floor because "he comes in peace"
henry cavill
Er why are you wearing a trash can with a cape?
ben affleck
Tell me....do you laugh?
henry cavill
Never mind it's not that funny anyway,so hey ben I need your help(shoves ben to mecca)
ben affleck
That's why you mentioned my characters first name are you trying to blackmail me? Eat sonic waves you quere(blasts henry with sonic waves that don't deafen ben or shatter the window of buildings nearby)
henry cavill
C'mon man you are the only one who can help me(trashes ben's gadget violently)
ben affleck
I'm listening(overdoses henry on bullets)
henry cavill
hey you better not have wrecked my suit(checks) well what do you know, my suit is bullet proof as well
(Tosses ben onto the roof of a building of course in man of steel tradition he totally wrecks someones apartment while doing so)
ben affleck
Ooooooooooouch! Wait how does this metal suit stop me from feeling the effects of gravity or pain? Oh sh*t henry is coming (tosses smoke screen at him)
henry cavill
Hey dude c'mon I don't wanna hurt ya you know you're being a real b*tch right now and what makes you think I can't float over the smoke screen or see through it?
ben affleck
Because you are a m*ron and everyone wants me to beat your a*ss so they've made you extra st*pid for this fight(fires a krypto gas pellet at henry)
henry cavill
Gas? Really? Have you forgotten that I fought in freaking space in the last movie? I bet I don't even use my nose at all(does so anyway) oh lord I have inhaled kryptonite gas and now I'm as light as a feather but tough enough to not burst open when smudged between metal and hardass concrete
ben affleck
Yea and I hid my secret weapon at the bottom of the world let's just hope you don't recover before we get there now time for some badass ninja skills like straddle punching(straddle punches henry to recovery) oh sh*t
henry cavill
Well I can see asking for your help is a bad idea so I'll just go find my mom by myself or maybe just throw you a punch(does so) or maybe two(does so) or maybe three(does so) ok fine I'll stay and fight grrrrrr!(Gets gased again) the f*ck man how did I fall for this twice?
ben affleck
grrrr you trashed my garbage can suit? I ma go WWE on your a*ss(crashes a toilet sink on henry head)then I ma toss you off a flight of stairs(does so) and just for the kicks I ma take you fishing(makes henry his b*tch with a fishing rod) now time to test and see how sharp my kryptonite spear is(gives henry a tribal mark) yep it is sharp enough, time to go buddie any last words?
henry cavill
Martha
ben affleck
Haha few seconds from your death and you're making yo mama jokes that aren't even funny
henry cavill
No you don't understand my mom's name is martha and........
ben affleck
She's a kryptonian and I should totally kill her too good call buddie
henry cavill
shut up dude! My mom just got her a*ss kidnapped and I was blackmailed to fight you
ben affleck
yea right!
amy adams
He's telling the truth
ben affleck
Oh ok(tosses his spear) this totally erases your raucus in metropolis,somalia nairomi and gotham
henry cavill
Gotham?
ben affleck
C'mon its a hollywood superhero movie you think trashing a few rooms screams FINALE
henry cavill
Yea you are right now go find my mother yes that's right I want you who I don't trust and is a 1million times slower than I am to go save my mom
ben affleck
Yea good thing jesse didn't find a way to monitor you to make sure you followed his instructions
jeremy irons
I've located diane lane with my magic powers she's in a cliched russian warehouse with 3 floors filled with armed russian dudes facing one direction are you sure you are the man for the job? I mean shouldn't you be confronting jesse instead?
narrator
ben rushes into action by wasting a bunch of time getting change of clothes and probably shaving and catching a tv show before heading to rescue henry's mother
zack snyder
Now time to cream your shorts for that awesome fight scene I put in the trailer
narrator
scene is exactly how it's in the trailer without an addition or subtraction
audience
That's it I'm getting a refund I can just watch the youtube trailers and have a filled day
zack snyder
Hey wait callan and ben are about to have a showdown
callan mulvey
If you take one step you'll see the inside of her head........wait haven't we done this before? Yea the showdown between the african rebel and henry with amy inbetween
zack snyder
Yea it's a take on how ben would have done it
audience
*praying* God please let there be a good fight scene please please
callan mulvey
I'll kill her
ben affleck
Tell that to my killing joke(blasts callan anticlimatically)
diane lane
A dude just got brutally roasted by a murderous scary vigilante that certainly turns me on watch my orgasm face
audience
there's no God
narrator
meanwhile henry confronts jesse again
jesse eisenberg
Henry we have to stop meeting like this......... uh you didn't kill ben? Wait is my objective to kill ben or henry or both? I'm getting my objectives muddled again cause now it looks like I just wanna trash gotham for no reason
henry cavill
Why am I not arresting you right now.....o sh*t what's that
jesse eisenberg
Your doomsday

To be continued......

badinfluence:

Really dude?? You brought your fan boyism here too??

o boy, abeg take ur badinfluence somewhere else....!!!

kryptonian1987:


o boy, abeg take ur badinfluence somewhere else....!!!

Congratulations on learning the use of word play. Next step is improving on it..

The most _stupid movie I saw this year,

henry cavill
Ew did someone just eat him up and puked him out? why does he look so gross?
jesse eisenberg
yea I guess it would have been cooler and more terrifying if we made a zombie micheal shannon
henry cavill
Ugh he looks like that crappy toxic avenger dude from the 80s
jesse eisenberg
Yea yea
henry cavill
Almost looks like some disgruntled dude just f*cked him up to get at zack snyder
jesse eisenberg
Well I gues......
henry cavill
Gosh! I mean Did he fall in a bowl of sh*t or is that just how he looks
dooms day
WE GET IT!!!(Punches henry outter the building)
narrator
then they start to fight and when I mean fight I mean they begin to trash the Gotham surroundings
ben affleck
What da? hey are you gonna pay to repair the roads you 're trashing? you're lucky our moms have the same name or I would have lost my sh*t
henry cavill
C'mon money bags you can pay for it
ben affleck
Godammit I aint made of cash can't you fight him in space or something?
henry cavill
Hmmm good idea
narrator
so henry kicks dooms days a*ss into space meanwhile the military does what they do best in these kind of movies which is sit on their hands and act like *diots
military personnel
Hey henry is fighting the bogey and has taken him to space
harry lennix
Awww! He really does love us........now nuke his a*ss
military personnel
Wait what?
harry lennix
Well to prevent what happened last time, I'm not so sure why we only see these people when henry is around and most of all I've always wanted to look like I know what I'm doing
military personnel
Okay.. FIRE!!
narrator
they fire a nuclear missile at henry and doomsday which kills henry for 2minutes and tickles doomsday
military personnel
*judgemental look* sir it's raining doomsday
harry lennix
Dammit where is henry?
military personnel
Well he didn't come along so what do you think?
harry lennix
Well I guess its back to sitting on my hands
military personnel
Ugh! Now he's copying hulk and king kong moves
ben affleck
Oh great nice going harry now I have to fight him on my own using the lesson I never learnt when going up against henry(doomsday trashes his bat jet)
Hey how am I still alive?
doomsday
Prepare to be laser eye f*cked you jerk
ben affleck
Oh sh*t wished the meta humans were here
ezra miller
My mommy is calling me(runs home from milk store)
jason momoa
I'm too busy with the momoa fish to poor people foundation
cyborg
Let's do this
audience
wow that's what you look like?
cyborg
Yea what do I look like?
audience
You look like bucket of LFMAO gosh I guess dc is really trying to bring some laughs into their franchise huh?
cyborg
*cries and runs home*
gal gadot
I'll save you my love
narrator
just as doomsday is about to dubstep bencaptain america gal blocks ben with her shield
gal gadot
Hey I never asked how did you send me that email? it's not like you have my address or even knew my name
ben affleck
And lucky for you that your costume just happens to be closeby even though you clearly looked like you were done being a superhero except you're a stripper or something
narrator
henry wakes up and continues his project gotham demolition
ben affleck
Dude show a lil class c'mon gal's over here fighting doomsday yet you don't see any buildings falling down
henry cavill
Yeowch! Who is this cactus flower?
ben affleck
She bleeds........like 5 days a month
henry cavill
Ugh ew I guess she's with you
ben affleck
No she's with you
henry cavill
No she's with you
ben affleck
No she's with you
narrator
meanwhile amy struggles to be relevant to the plot but ends up drowning cause NOBODY CARES..back to the super fight
gal gadot
Taste my blade now taste my sonic boom now taste my lasso
doomsday
Hmmm hw big is this lasso to bound me and fit in your holster at the same time?
henry cavill
You nit picker taste pure kryptonian knuckles
ben affleck
Woa y'all look pretty busy so If you need me I'll be over here sh*tting a brick
jeremy irons
Shouldn't you be blasting doomsday with your krypto gun or better yet, picking up your staff to kill doomsday with it?
ben affleck
hey gimme a break I just kicked kryptonian a*ss, kicked a ton of russian thug a*ss, murdered a super villain and survived a plane crash, all that awesomeness can tire someone out you know
audience
like us (puke from being dizzy)
doomsday
YOU!!!
ben affleck
Gulp! Mommy(begins to flee)ok fine jeremy what did you say about my spear? I'm totally running to go get it(nose sprouts like pinnochio)
henry cavill
Ok guys time out amy is in trouble gat to go
gal gadot
Hey hang on why not just get ben to do it? you left your mom in his care a while ago I can't take out doomsday on my own.... sh*t he's gone what a jerk
narrator
henry rescues amy and then retrieves the krypto spear which weakens him instantly and when I say "weaken" I mean still possessing power of flight and super strength but just moan and acting drunk kind of weakness
henry cavill
Hey are you ok?
amy adams
Me? Pfft! B*tch please after downing so much dirty water in my lungs....of course I'm fine
henry cavill
Well I've gotta go guilt trip the world by killing myself instead of simply handing the spear over to ben or gal
amy adams
What? No
henry cavill
I love you amy, cavill out(flies off)
ben affleck
Oh yea this is actually the best time to shoot a krypto gas pellet at doomsday
henry cavill
Smh
ben affleck
Hey where are you going with my spear? Don't get yourself killed c'mon whose gonna help DCEU in the box office?
jared leto
Did someone call for DCs "joker card"?
ben affleck
Oh right carry on
narrator
henry stabs doomsday in the heart
henry cavill
f*ck YOU!!!!!!
doomsday
Hmm speaking of f*cking(t*tty f*cks henry with his exo-skeletal claws)
narrator
and they both die
audience
Pfft!Bologne
zack snyder
I hate you, you never support anything I do all you care abt is joss whedon I wish you were dead(runs to his room crying)
ben affleck
*sigh* Well I guess it all worked out in the end *high fives gal*
amy adams
Hmmm a scary violent unpredictable vigilante, a weirdly dressed super strengthened woman and a giant monster wow I'm so scared I bet everyone can see that in my totally emotionless expressions
narrator
meanwhile a swat team storms the kryptonian spaceship and find jesse
Stealing from the plot of marvels avengers
[b]swat team
What da f*ck?
jesse eisenberg
Uh this is not what it looks like
Wait a minute why are you here it's not like you have any evidence to arrest me and the only witness you have is a dead alien and his girlfriend
swat team
Uh ok we'll just keep you in holding till we find/forge some*evil smiles*
narrator
then there's a mass burial for henry cavill which makes for a very interesting story when amy has to explain how human henry cavill is also dead at the same time
everyone
wait we are not supposed to know henry is superman
henry cavill
Grrr! I'm not super.....uh oh
zack snyder
why you plot spoiling son of a b*tch
narrator
ben visits jesse in prison
ben affleck
B*tch despite hearing of how my branding kills people I've decided to do it anyway. BTW why aren't you in guantanamo?
jesse eisenberg
because I'm insane(sh*ts on hands and write on the walls with it)
ben affleck
Cool....will take you to arkham then have some friends over there toodles(brands wall)
jesse eisenberg
Hmm at least try to give a sh*t about the next prisoner who will occupy this room don't you think the branded wall will mean execution for them too?

End

I find this more interesting than the movie itself

ades0la:
I find this more interesting than the movie itself

thanx

Lol I actually enjoy your hit and miss story but I won't agree that BVS was bad. You see fans are already used to Marvel products and expects DC to produce similar movies. DC films are not meant to be funny tbh. See the cartoons, Return of Batman, Batman/Superman:Public Enemies, Batman:Bad blood, and mostly DC cartoons from 2013. BvS was dark, and it set up the DC films perfectly. Mind you this Superman version is similar to the one we find in Return of Batman and Justice League 2014 animation. I respect what marvel are doin but I don't take their movies seriously. Would you stop in between a fight a make jokes? Doomsday was the perfect villain. My only dissapointment was that the fight between batman vs superman was not as bitter a the one in The Dark Knight returns. Glad the kind of batman I saw. You fightin bad guys and not taking them seriously? Affleck was crude and brutal and a confrontation with henry's superman who was trying to be as human as possible was badly needed. My opinion tho

severee:


thanx

Can you please write something like this for deadpool too?

ades0la:

Can you please write something like this for deadpool too?

wish I could but deadpool already yabbed itself for us

severee:


wish I could but deadpool already yabbed itself for us

Alright.

ades0la:

Alright.

yea its rly sad