hahahah...lwkmd.....the woman like the igbo...

Hahahaha Bahd Baddo Baddest. Mama na #BADDEST. Nice 1@Centino. Keep it up,i gbadu ur work... . update please

Guys, if I don't update next week or in the new future, it is because I will be away ending the career of one Fidelis Ozuawala (I wonder what his Naialand moniker is) who copies this story and puts on his blog without my permission. I will seek and get the requisite copyright protection in the coming days (hopefully not weeks) and then go to work on Ozuawala and his ilk if he does not remove my work from his website with immediate effect. In the meantime, this is this week's offering...

Enjoy.



FOUND OUT

Mama Akunna let out a guffaw and I saw Irikefe wet his pants. Her eyes were bulging and bright. Her opened mouth was set at a definite circumference, neither widening nor narrowing as the levels of her amusement varied, much like a cartoon character’s. No other part of her body moved. We became so unnerved that Irikefe sank in his knees and said “Mama please. Abeg mama”. Wasiu, sensing where this was headed quickly gathered his wits and said “Mama wetin happen?” I saw that at the same time that he put a knee in Irikefe’s back and Irikefe jumped up and looked around like an awakened somnambulist. I jumped on Wasiu’s side and said “Err mama, wetin you want?”

She stopped laughing and took two steps forward and we retreated and huddled in a corner of the room. She sat on the bed that still did not have a mattress and watched us. Then she laughed again in that strange way. Wasiu then took charge. He was not a jailbird for nothing. “Mama, we dey do meeting for here. You no fit just enter like that. You no even knock de door.”

She continued to watch us.

“Wetin you say make we give you mama?” I said.

She looked us in the eyes from person to person and then fixed her gaze on Irikefe who could not hold the old woman’s eyes and was watching the floor.

“Mama wetin happen?” I ventured again.

“Even as person don dey plant banana, na monkey dey first know wen e ripe” she said and stood up. Our backs were touching the wall in an instant, as the force of her rising threw us there. We watched as she walked back out of the room and disappeared down the corridor.

Without a word or even a glance at us Irikefe flew out of the room.

“Guy, we go see later” I said to Wasiu and also left.

For the rest of the day we did not see Mama Akunna or Irikefe outside.

Over at the shops Josiah, Talabi and Mr Cosmas were talking about the recent flooding in Benue.

“It is only in Nigeria that this type of thing will happen. We are useless, we do not plan, everything about us is just bad.”

“At the same time this was happening there was flooding in Texas as well Josiah.”

“Ehn…yes but we know that those areas are prone to that and it is expected. Is it not hurricane that they experienced? Here, ordinary small rain, people are dying. If we have hurricane nko? We build houses everywhere. Government officials take bribe and let people build houses where they should not.”

“Well, the same thing happens in Houston my friend. As millions flocked to the metropolitan areas in recent decades, local officials there largely snubbed stricter building regulations. As a result, routine weather events have become catastrophes. Nature did not intend for hurricanes or floods to kill or displace people. It is all our making. Did you hear that President Trump as a gift to developers revoked an order by the Obama administration that flooding be taken into consideration when building new infrastructure projects? Where it is not ignorance or corruption it is human beings playing politics with their very existence. As they say there in america, we aint seen nothing yet.”

“And our President went there to commiserate with them.”

‘Fake news. Where will baba get the strength to embark on such a long trip when he can’t leave his house for the Federal Exco meeting?”

“Anyway, God will help us. So Cosmas, when are you talking to the old woman? The small peace we are enjoying now you know will not last. She won’t stay indoors all day.”

“I will go to her room now and see her.”

I waited until Mr Cosmas had entered the room before I went to the door to listen.

“My pikin. Welcome o. Sorry say I no get anything to give you. The soup wey I cook yesterday you no go fit chop am.”

“No worry mama, I’m fine. I just say make I come gist with you small. E don tey.”

“Tank you my pikin. Na only you be better pikin for this compound. You see Akunna? You see as hin dey suffer now because of that ashawo wey hin put for house?”

“Mama that is why I have come.”

“Oh ho! Tank you. I never see dis kind tin before. Person marry woman come give other people. She born basitad full everywhere. I no go close eye see my pikin dey suffer like dis. I go put fire burn all Awero tins so dat hin no go come back to dis house.”

“Mama. To do like dat no good. Akunna na man. Hin know the correct tin weh hin suppose do. E no good say now wey you for dey rest, you come here come dey worry yourself. Mama, go back home. Akunna go solve hin problem.”

“Which Akunna? That one wey dat winch don give medicine? E no go fit do anything. I must helep my pikin.”

“Mama leave Akunna alone. Na man. You don born am finish, come help am grow, you don try.”

“My pikin wetin you dey talk?’

“Mama I say make you go home go rest. Akunna go take care of himself.”

“Na him send you?”

“No mama. I dey live here and I dey see wetin dey happen. You know say I no dey lie.”

“My own pikin dey pursue me comot for hin house. Akunna wey suck my breast till e reach eleven years!”

“No mama, no be like dat.”

“I no dey go anywia! Akunna no know anything. I want my pikin to bury me. If I keep quiet, na me go bury Akunna. You don see d pikin dem wey Awero born? All of dem get dada like dat tailor and dem black like devil. My Akunna yellow. Woman wey do dat kind tin no go put otapiapia for hin food?”

“Mama…”

“My pikin oya dey go. Tell Akunna say I dey wait here for am.”

I quickly strode towards the backyard as Mr Cosmas stood to leave. As I expected, he made his way to his room. He was not one to spoil people’s mood by delivering unfavourable news. He will not say anything to anyone but will try again.

Later that evening Irikefe came out of hiding and met me seated on the soakaway slab.

“I am going to meet Sister Esther now” he said.

“Hmmm you! You better go back to your carpentry work. You are useless.”

“Bros it is not like that. Did you see the woman’s eyes? Did you see the way she was laughing? Don’t forget that I was the one that put the thing in her pot. I am the one she will kill first. I don’t want to die before I hammer.”

“Who told you doing evil was without risk. You think the 419 you want to start is without risk?”

“That is different bros. I will be dealing with normal people, not witches. How did she know we put anything in her food? How did she know it was us? How did she find us at the same time? You see why I must make it and leave this compound?”

“That does not excuse your behavior. What will you do when you get arrested? Start crying and begging?”

“Who will arrest me?”

“Every 419er will have a brush or two with the law. Better be ready.”

“Bros at least I will be dealing with normal people, and I will have money to settle.”

“I pray it works out that way for you.”

“Don't you want to come and see Sister Esther’s reaction when I tell her I have evidence of her being possessed with the spirit of fornication?”

“I don’t trust you anymore Irikefe. I only roll with brave men. You gave us out man!”

“Bros I did not give us out anything. She already knew. You think she was swayed by that drama you and Wasiu pulled there?”

“O boy you piss for body.”

“Bros leave that thing. I no wan die before my time. I will not allow that old witch stand in my way again. If she likes, let her use Akunna and his children to do pepper soup. I no get hand there again. I dey start my own career. Let’s go and see Sister Esther.”


TO BE CONTINUED

Mama wld nt go m vewi sure.

Hahaha na wah o dat mama na correct winsh imagine irifeke begging her chai man don suffer.
Nice update Centino.

This story sweet oo... oya more updates

correct man

wonderful story...

guy abeg when you don finish your copyright wahala abeg mention me again for next update.Good work bro.

??

BLACKMAIL

We found Sister Esther ensconced in a tight corner under the staircase she and Mr Kingsley had converted to their kitchen. She was seated on a stool cross-legged and was humming a traditional hymn of praise and had a finger between the pages of a tiny New Testament Bible. From the aroma of it, she also had yam porridge simmering. I walked past and called out to Irikefe that I was going to my room, but I sped around the building and stood by the hollow bricks at the side from where I could hear what was being said without being seen.

“Good afternoon Sister Esther.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“The Lord had sent me to you” Irikefe said and chuckled smugly.

“Eh ehn!” Sister Esther began and rose, bending her head so as not to hit it against the staircase. She wriggled her index finger and continued, “I am not in the mood for any nonsense this evening. Please just continue on your way.”

Irikefe chuckled and said, “Come on Sister…”

“I said go away!”

“If you knew what I was here for you won’t be shouting like that.”

Sister Esther kept quiet. I could only see her back from where I followed proceedings so I could not tell her demeanor. But I imagined Irikefe made a movement that stopped her in her tracks. I heard Irikefe say “Every morning you will not let us sleep on this street. Repent. You are going to hell. Be righteous bla bla bla. Yet at night you are another person.”

“Sweet Jesus. I know this is the devil. Please give me the strength to overcome.”

“Sister cool down joor. You will not fool me. I see The Undertaker entering here every night since your quarrel ended. The street people may think Mama does not know what she is saying, but I have proof, and I am taking it to your pastor.”

There was a pause then I heard Sister Esther say “Holy Spirit. Ratatatahiha.”

“What is that one?”

“Oya leave” Sister Esther said.

“I say I have proof. It is all on my phone. I videoed the two of you one night. Is this not you twisting under The Undertaker?”

I could not see what was happening. I did not know what he was showing her because I knew there was no video. But I listened on.

“And listen…you are even speaking in tongues.”

“Eh hen? Ok so what do you want now?”

“You will give me fifty thousand naira, and I will sleep in your room once every week otherwise your pastor will see this.”

“Chinekemee!”

“What is that? You think I can’t handle you?”

“Ah Esther…see what your life has now become?” she lamented to herself. Then she said “Okay. Irikefe. I am sorry ehn, forgive me. Oya let’s go inside.”

I wanted to scream from where I was. I heard shuffling feet and knew they were leaving the makeshift kitchen. Five minutes later I heard howls of agony from Sister Esther’s room.

I rushed back through the corridor and tried to open Sister Esther’s door but it was locked from inside. The beating continued and Irikefe continued to shout for help. The door then burst open and sister Esther pushed Irikefe out and he landed on his buttocks on the corridor.

“Your father will hear of this. Idiot. Don’t concentrate on the trade you are learning. Prison is waiting for you. Anuofia!”

I pulled irikefe up and led him outside. Neighbors quickly gathered and were asking questions. I decided to take him to my room. He kept checking his head for blood.

“Irikefe!”

“Bros. The woman nearly break my head,” He said.

“Not least what you deserve.”

“She used garri turner. I thank God the pestle was not handy.”

“What were you doing in her room?”

“Bros plans changed.”

“What nonsense plans changed?”

“It’s a long story.”

“There’s no stupid long story. I heard everything. What do you want to be sleeping in her room once a week for?”

“Bros, Sister Esther is a fine woman. I just saw the way she crossed her legs and decided to modify my demand.”

“Oh Lord.”

“Bros I thought I had her. I was carrying a tape.”

“Irikefe there is no stupid tape. And she is at least twice your age."

“Bros abeg leave that tin.”

“I thought it was money you wanted.”

“I still want money.”

“How will you get it now?”

“She doesn’t know for sure if I have a tape or not.”

“Does she look like she cares?”

“But she has to care. This is my chance.”

“Irikefe. Twice in one day you have messed up beyond reason. To think that you are lusting after Sister Esther of all people!”

“Of all people means what? Is she not already giving it to The Undertaker?”

“You are only a child Irikefe.”

“Bros I will be twenty in November. Besides, I am seven inches down there.”

“Get lost!”

Irikefe chuckled and said “I will try again. Okay maybe we will forget about sleeping in her room but I need the cash bros.”

“What do you mean by we?”

“You know what I mean na. I tell you everything.”

“Count me out. From this moment, I don’t want to know anymore.”

We heard loud cheers from outside and went out to see what it was all about.

On the other side of the road Akunna stood with his wife beside him. She had a new born baby wrapped in a shawl in her arms. The whole compound stood and cheered. As was the custom at number 225, neighbors brought out wrappers and spread them on the floor for the new mum to walk on. The cheering stopped when Akunna would not move after about ten minutes of hearty encouragement.

Mr Zubi, the most respected tenant walked up to him and said “Akunna, congratulations. But you must enter the compound the way you know how to so that we can congratulate you properly.”

“I want my mother to come out here,” Akunna said.

We all looked around but Mama Akunna was not with us.

On a hunch I walked back through the corridor towards the backyard. I got there in time to see Wasiu handing a handful of substance to Mama Akunna. She collected it and slotted it under her wrapper as Wasiu cheered “Mama de Mama” and they gave each other a high-five. I stood rooted to the spot and was sure my opened mouth touched the floor.

“I hear say them dey find me” she said and hobbled to the front of the house. I gave Wasiu a quizzical look and I saw his shoulders jerk mirthfully as he patted his head with both hands like Papa Ajasco. I hurried after Mama Akunna. There would be time for Wasiu later.

Number 225 Katakata street was quiet for the first time since I moved in as Mama Akunna approached her son and daughter-in-law. She kept her focus on the tiny bundle the other woman carried, paying no attention to anything else. She got to where they stood, made a point of burning her eyes into the other woman for an uncomfortable minute, then she parted the shawl and peeked at its content. The baby was pinkish and had two dark spots on the nose. Akunna was light skinned and heavily freckled around the nose.

Mama Akunna grabbed the baby and started an Igbo song and began to prance about, swinging the baby in her arms. The whole compound erupted in another round of cheers.

“This one na my pikin own” she screeched and cut her waist fully this way and that. When the cheers died down she said “Awero, tank you. Tank you ehn. Na now you don do beta tin.”

Akunna heaved a sigh of relief and his wife found the strength to smile too. Mama got to the corridor embankment and then turned and said “Awero, oya come pack ya tins carry all de oda basitad dem dey go. I go take kia of dis one.”

She disappeared down the corridor, and once again silence descended upon number 225.


TO BE CONTINUED

tsharp, xamiel4, MariamAlheri, Grendel, leepest, MichaelBlake40, YINKS89, everyone else, oya o!

:-):-):-)... More

Dis mama Na wa ooo. I like mama akunna judgement sha... And as for sis Esther I comment ma reserve.

I dey wait oo

Oga Centino tanx for da mention i almost forgot that today was our Sunday special.
Meanwhile............... See as Mama dey do o so Akunna oda children be bastard but dis newborn because im fair be her proper grandson . Chai *in Splash's voice* I jus dey laff.
Ps:Centino u don sight Preetiex?

LOL.Nice one . Keep up the good work.

xamiel4:
I dey wait oo

xamiel4 scroll up. Done already.

MichaelBlake40:
Oga Centino tanx for da mention i almost forgot that today was our Sunday special.
Meanwhile............... See as Mama dey do o so Akunna oda children be bastard but dis newborn because im fair be her proper grandson . Chai *in Splash's voice* I jus dey laff.
Ps:Centino u don sight Preetiex?

No sign of Preetiex my bro. Hopefully she never lose interest. One day dis go become hustle, put food for table so dat update go dey flow everyday.

Centino:

xamiel4 scroll up. Done already.

baba i don see am.more ink to your pen. So mama and this jailbird don turn 5 and 6. Anticipating next update.Please mention me oo

this Mama Akunna eezz a case gaskiya.

Thanks for the mention Centino, please we want mooooorrreee..

MichaelBlake40:
Oga Centino tanx for da mention i almost forgot that today was our Sunday special.
Meanwhile............... See as Mama dey do o so Akunna oda children be bastard but dis newborn because im fair be her proper grandson . Chai *in Splash's voice* I jus dey laff.
Ps:Centino u don sight Preetiex?

centino & michael how have u been na data pursue me,i will read now

centino welldone o,abeg make awero & mama settle dis tin

Preetiex:
centino & michael how have u been na data pursue me,i will read now

Okay welcome back. See, we missed you

Preetiex:
centino welldone o,abeg make awero & mama settle dis tin

lol....nice story op

Didov1:
lol....nice story op

Thanks and welcome Didov1

Nice one bro... Can't stop laffing... More pls

Oga centino......
You are doing a great work here but you missed yesterday's update, hope all is well?

Centino:
Guys, if I don't update next week or in the new future, it is because I will be away ending the career of one Fidelis Ozuawala (I wonder what his Naialand moniker is) who copies this story and puts on his blog without my permission. I will seek and get the requisite copyright protection in the coming days (hopefully not weeks) and then go to work on Ozuawala and his ilk if he does not remove my work from his website with immediate effect. In the meantime, this is this week's offering.

Hope it has nothing to do with this issue?

Centino it’s tuesday already and there’s no update from you, what’s happening

Sorry guys. Got overwhelmed with work. Serious commitments for another week or so. And truly SenatorPope, maybe if that wasn't on my mind I still would have hard as it may be. But I'll be back.