njuwo:
A wife
went on holiday
leaving the husband
behind. The husband
got so Hot one day
that he decided to try the maid who
had just come from
Nsukka village and who
seemed clever. ... He
called the maid to his
bedroom where he had taken off his pants,
he
pointed to his manhood
when the maid arrived.
Husband: Do you know
what this is?
Maid: (actin Shy) Yes Husband: Do you know
what it s for?
Maid:Yes
Husband: show me. The
maid immediately
dropped to her knees held the item with both
hands
drew
closer and opened her
mouth. The husband
was shivering with anticipation . The maid
then began,"My name is
Chinasa , I'm 23 years
old and I'm from
Nsukka. I
want to make a shout- out to my parents,mr
and mrs Chigozie, my
uncle, Broda
NnamdI aka' chop my
money and MY auntY,
MRS IFEOMA, I would also
like to tell my boyfriend
Johnny that I miss him.
Can u play me Ashawo
by Flavour Nabania?"
Then finally says to the man," Oga,take your
microphone I'm
through...

njuwo:
Naija the only place where
Where a man Happily meet a lady and
when she
goes back to her friends, their only
question was "Is
the guy loaded?
Where a blind beggar will reject a
fake naira note.
Where Groundnuts are sold in Bottles
& Waters
sold in Satchets.
Where You Can Be A Driver For Years
Without A
'DRIVER's LICENCE'
Where Presidents and other
government officials
don't know the national anthem.
Where the Police on a road block makes
more
money a day than motorist and their
owners.
Where you are jailed for stealing
Maggi and yam
and others given a chieftancy title for
stealing billions
and Front row seat in churches.
Where we fight for everything. To
gain admission
to university, to get a job and to enter a
bus!

njuwo:
One day at the end of class, a
teacher Mr.
Ofoka asked the whole class to go
home and
think of a story and then conclude
the moral of
that story.
The following day Mr. Ofoka came
into the class
and asked for the first volunteer
to tell their story.
little Suzy raises her hand and was
asked to go
ahead. "My dad owns a farm and
every Sunday we load
the chicken eggs on the truck and
drive into town
to sell them at the market. Well,
one Sunday we
hit a big bump and all the eggs
flew out of the
basket and onto the road."
Then Mr. Afoka asked for the
moral lesson of the
story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all
your eggs in one
basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad
owns a farm too and every
weekend we take the chicken
eggs and put them
in the incubator. Last weekend
only 8 of the 12
eggs hatched."
Mr. Afoka also asked for the moral
lesson of the
story. Lucy replied "Don't count
your eggs before
they're hatched."
The last person was little johnny.
Johnny started like this: "My uncle
Tedra
fought in the Vietnam war; his
plane was shot down over enemy
territory. He
jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of
beer, a machine gun and a
machete. On the way
down he drank the case of beer.
Unfortunately,
he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot
70 with
his machine gun, but ran
out of bullets, so he pulled out his
machete and
killed 20 more. The blade of his
machete broke,
so he killed the last ten with his
bare hands".
Mr. Afoka looked at johnny in
shock and asked if
there is possibly any moral lesson
to his story.
Johnny replied, "Don't Bleep with
uncle Tedra when he's
been drinking!"

njuwo:
I just Noticed that Life is too short to
commit suicide cuz In the year 2002 nokia
3310 was
N75k with N40k econet sim card,
but today its N700 and the sim is free..
In 2003 samsung c100 was N48k and I
must recharge with atleast N1500 airtime
every... two weeks or else my sim will be
blocked. today its N800 and I dont even
need to recharge to retain my sim
{customers are needed}...
In 2004 sendo x with camera and 16mb
memory card {one of the cheapest mp3
enabled phoneback den}was N39k today
its free...
In 2006 sagem my v55 was N30k today
its going for N300...
2008 nko blackberry bold 2
was N135k today blackberry is no more
producing new bold 2... so London used na
N15k.. U can get 9ja used for N6k...
So my friend, if u neva dey use blackberry
porch, htc smart phones, android, ipad,
iphone, playbook or nokia 808, pls, dnt
worry.
Just wait and see, coz before 2015 our
children will be using them as
toys....*smiles
#......Be Patient.
Dis makes me wonder why sum girls go
crazy simply coz of material tins.
U want a bold 5,
U want brazilian hair,
U want LV bag, but remember, Beatles was
d richest car in 1980'z.....THIN K!!!
See d kinda of depreciation it experienced
within short period.
BEAUTY FADES! WEALTH can also be
ERASED.
Jux work hard, Hav a good character and Be
loyal to ur feelings!!!,and lastly rem dos wit d
bests
cars 2day once wlkd on foot,calm down n
Give God ur
time,for only Him can mk............. ........
Time shall favour u.
Can i hear ur Amen??

njuwo:
Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere. While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away. The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away. Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it. The other men saw this but just kept on eating. About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again. It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to the Chinese man and asked "how much you go buy am?"

njuwo:
John: bby am gonna tell u a story
with 4 parts. Remember that, 4 parts
Grace: alryt love
John: okay am gonna start wth part 1.
There was a husband n a wife, they
were driving to a camp site wen they
came upon a split road. The husband
says "lets take the left one. The wife
say i thnk we shuld take the right
road." The husband slaps the wife
across the face "whose driving me or
u?" and they took the left path.
Grace: hahahahaha..
John: now am gonna tell u part 2.
Once they got to the camp the
husband goes fishing so his wife can
cook dinner. He comes back and the
wife says "good now i can cook fish
soup for us to eat." The husband says
"but i wanna eat fried fish." The wife
slaps the husband n says "who is
cooking me or u?" and the ended up
drinking fish soup.
Grace: oh crap! Hahaha
John: now am gonna tell u part 4.
Grace: wat abt part 3?
John: (landed grace a hot slap on the
face) who is telling the story me or you?

makky555:
I'm not liking this joke... John is my father's name and Grace is my mom's

njuwo:
Hmm, newcomer, you are welcome.

makky555:

Tanchu

njuwo:
Is that Chinese

makky555:


It's kafanchanese

Am I the only one that used to think kafanchan was in Asia??

njuwo:
You are not alone. I was, and still think. If it isn't in Asia, where then it is?

makky555:



I heard its in Nigeria.... Northern part

njuwo:
Then it must be in Kaduna state.