Lloydfolarin:



Congratulations to you Bro. You have taken the best decision of your life.

Trust me, those children ll appreciate you for this in future.

Pls, do everything in your power to stay in those children lives by bringing them over to wherever you live to spend time with you either over the weekend or during the week.

Make time to pick them and drop them in school even if it’s only one day in a week or two weeks. Go through their assignments with them and tell them how much you love them.

If she(Their mother) wants to play any stupid game with you by keeping the children away from you, go straight to family court and let it be on official record you fight for custody of your children for future purpose.

It’s time for you to focus on your plans and execute them one after the others.

Enjoy every moment you have now.

Ishilove:

And your own comment is wise since mine is 'stupid'? For someone trying to correct another, you have displayed the same 'stupidity' that you are accusing me of. Fvck off my mentions, el stupido.

3free2:


Looking back, I think I have been worst than an introvert. Iwas so eager to impress my stupid in-laws.
I've given up so much for the sake of the happy home of my dreams. I'm too ashamed to narrate the whole story.

onyibor84:
Op, let me give my own piece of advice.
I believe in what my people call "ofor" it means to go with a clear mind.
Your in-laws and your wife knows that you'll hardly separate from your wife owing to your ugly childhood experience and they are capitalising on that and your introverted nature to play with your home.
I want you to try a few things;
1. I want you to write a letter to your in-laws telling them in clear terms that you've noticed the bad effect of their interference on your family and that the said letter should serve as the last warning to them to desist from their attitude and will serve as an evidence that you warned them when the time will come.
2. Send a copy of the letter to the priest that wedded you people and to the priest where your in-laws worship.
3. Then keep a copy for yourself.
Let all these be done without the help of your family so that they will know that you're waking up.

Guyman02:
Change your attitude, ignore her antics and stop being scared about your kids, she will take care of them even in your absence.
Make yourself happy, stop trying to please your in-laws, just be your true self.
Give directives to your wife and don't repeat your words more than 2 times, if she obeys that's fine, if she disobeys just ignore her and focus on your kids when at home.
Put on the music when you come home and dance with the kids happily, cook and eat with your kids joyfully.
Don't call any meetings between your family and hers except it is to discuss divorce or separation.
Simply ignore your in-laws and see them as irritants to be kept at bay, if you want to do any favours for them do it quietly and don't expect any appreciation, cut off frivolous communication between you and them except when you want to discuss serious isues.
Tell yourself that you are the head of that home, a Lord and a Lion.
With time she will get the message and decide to choose between you and them.
I am talking from personal experience.

Olumeme:
I don't know why men find themselves in this kind of ugly situation.
Those I have heard this kind of stories from are mostly due to the fact that their inlaws pick their bills.

My brother, any man that can't make his woman loyal, then he should be ready to go through this kind of mess, If you can't tell your wife to sit down there without any fear of her disobeying you, then forget it, because she will be the one that will sell you out.

The solution is for you to start calling the shot and bluffing them, any day you give an order and she disobeys, send her back to her parents, she will definitely have sense.

To posses some powers, you must be ready to take some risks

3free2:
I won't be the one to initiate a separation. Somehow I feel history is repeating itself.

My parents separated when I was in ss1 that was in 1992 my dad sent my mom packing and in less than a year he married another woman and left us to fend for ourselves.

We fell from a subject of admiration and envy (for my dad was not poor) to an object of pity then mockery. I and my siblings suddenly found ourselves on the street wandering from one relative to the other begging for what will keep us alive. I'm the eldest and the youngest was just five years old then.

If you've never been there you can't ever understand. It was hell as in HELL. Till this day I still wonder how the five of us survived that dark period.

By God's grace my children will not suffer what I did when I lived like an orphan.

Suddenly, today, I work for a firm, earn a salary, my kids attend good schools and people are like, your family is cute. My children are living in the same world I did before my parents separated.

Here lies my problem, the thought of my past repeating itself in the lives of my children scares me silly.

It seems my wife and her family has noticed my determination to keep my home intact for the sake of my children. They think I will continue to endure no matter what. A big surprise is coming their way.

Cutehector:
How much money do you have? Because if you commanded money, your inlaws would be calling you sir.

tamethem:


Hear yourself?

Without even asking, I know your Tribe already.

Why are you guys so money conscious that it reflects in your Shallow Thinking every time. Ego Ego Ego

Money, money, money

So if he doesn't have money now for his in-law to respect him he should go and find money quickly in whatever form. Including going to Thailand, Bangkok and India with hard drug. ( Your normal route)

Smh.

aribisala0:
I am happy you got the point I was making.

Any idiot can call the next person's comment stupid etc

Simply speak your mind and allow others do the same.
Do not try to bully or stifle anyone
No one has a machine that empowers them to detect good and bad ideas . We simply disagree.

So you coming here to tell us you have been studying that guy's comments and now have a PhD on his matter is amusing.

The reality is everyone has OPINIONS that's all. My opinion is that you are unintelligent. I could be wrong but I doubt it

kapelvej:
you said it all,reading your post gave me the impression that you are a lady. The truth is that marital problems can be resolved when both parties genuinely want reasonable resolution. In this case, there is nothing much the man can do if the woman is not ready to adjust

Pusyiter:
I dey feel you my dear. Money and favor fall on us as rain dey fall for ground.
For back biters, no mind dem na back dem go always dey.
Thanks. Knowing that you dey myside is worth more than Davido 30 billion.

Ishilove:

I confirm my own idiocy,it is Supreme and peerless

Ishilove:

How is my thinking destructive? Where in my post did I encourage 3rd party interference in marriages?

I simply pointed out your tendency to denigrate the institution of marriage because of your own unpalatable experience

Xisnin:


That she was accepted back shows that she was missed. Nobody accept back a bad options unless they can't get over with.

3free2:
I won't be the one to initiate a separation. Somehow I feel history is repeating itself.

My parents separated when I was in ss1 that was in 1992 my dad sent my mom packing and in less than a year he married another woman and left us to fend for ourselves.

We fell from a subject of admiration and envy (for my dad was not poor) to an object of pity then mockery. I and my siblings suddenly found ourselves on the street wandering from one relative to the other begging for what will keep us alive. I'm the eldest and the youngest was just five years old then.

If you've never been there you can't ever understand. It was hell as in HELL. Till this day I still wonder how the five of us survived that dark period.

By God's grace my children will not suffer what I did when I lived like an orphan.

Suddenly, today, I work for a firm, earn a salary, my kids attend good schools and people are like, your family is cute. My children are living in the same world I did before my parents separated.

Here lies my problem, the thought of my past repeating itself in the lives of my children scares me silly.

It seems my wife and her family has noticed my determination to keep my home intact for the sake of my children. They think I will continue to endure no matter what. A big surprise is coming their way.

id4sho:

Ur brother na COMMANDO.
tell him, he's mentoring somebody .No dulling
RESPECT TO BIG BRO

victorian:






Amen! @ money and favour !


Thanks for understanding dear . I dey your side, kampe!
30billoin dollars fall on us as well! Amen!

But lemme ask? When are u coming to lag?
Or better still, Check my signature for my bbm, let's chat.

Tallesty1:
Why struggle? Just decide and if they're not comfortable with your decision then they should take their daughter. Life is very simple
Because you allowed them bro, report him to his kinsmen, church and tell them to warn him to remove his nose from your business To be a man, you must step on toes when necessary. What is wrong with disrespecting people who do not respect you? Let your wife take any side she wants, just don't change your mind, don't look face and don't say sorry.
Tell your wife what you want, how you want it and stand your ground, don't give in to her manipulations. And if her parents interfer then tell them to their face to leave you to run your family the way you want.
Not necessary unless your wife is stubborn and foolish. God cannot do for a man what he has already empowered him to do. Sit down, think and decide and then tell your wife to fall in, if she refuses then let her go. No be africa we dey? Let's see how long she can stay with her parents before running back to you. Only then will she know that her parents never really loved her as they claim.
Ofcourse you are. Being manipulatable makes you weak but it doesn't matter. Stand up and say "NO, MY MUMU DON DO" and mean it. You are free like a bird bro, nobody caged you. Just be a man in every sense of it. Be insensitive when need be, be strong like a lion and wise like a serpent.

aribisala0:
I am happy you got the point I was making.

Any idiot can call the next person's comment stupid etc

Simply speak your mind and allow others do the same.
Do not try to bully or stifle anyone
No one has a machine that empowers them to detect good and bad ideas . We simply disagree.

So you coming here to tell us you have been studying that guy's comments and now have a PhD on his matter is amusing.

The reality is everyone has OPINIONS that's all. My opinion is that you are unintelligent. I could be wrong but I doubt it

ShenTeh:


Thank you boss.

I am male nevertheless.

princfred:
Marry whites ladies wey know meaning of love una no go gree. See testimonies of lamentations.
If shame allow Nigerian men talk what they suffer from their women, sun will set 7 times before dey reach half.
Yet if someone told them before hand that most Nigerian women are better as baby mamas or fuxk mates not wives they will argue.

princfred:
What he said is it not true? If the man had enough money would he be treated like a goat by in laws? Must you resort to anti-igbo sentiments at the slightest whim even in the face of truth?

Have you ever seen Nigerian women divorce rich husband? Thats to clue you in on how much importance money factor makes in marriage.

Pipedreams:


Yes. Nigerian ladies mimick love they have never felt it. It's only a white or Asian that when she loves she loves. She's ready to fight her father for you. Nigerian ladies are grossly disloyal and give there love to the highest bidder. I dunno whether it's poverty. Baby mama na him fit naija babes

3free2:
I've been discussing with my family and they all agreed that though I've been naive, it's time to call my in-laws to order family to family.

I'm some how relieved after their show of support. I believe a solution will come after the planned meeting even if it means breaking up.

I thank you for your prompt response and I hope Nairaland last forever so people can continue to seek and get help in difficult times.

Pusyiter:
No problem. People like you are rare. I no get una plenty but I can go the extra. No wahala when my I enter Eko, I go holler you. Don't use BBM but would relate make we yarn.