Nene05:

32

9 years is a huge gap between you guys ,I will suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with him.

Sex is the most important ingredient in marriage even before money .I wish you luck and maybe you can have a weekend getaway ,it must not be expensive.

Nene05:


I'm younger than him I'm 32 he's 40
Also I'm house wife although thinks he would prefer me to work.

He refused to help me with the house so left my job stay home cook African food and other delicious dishes.
He likes the food etc just too tired to satisfy me

hm i dont know wat to say oo

Op the truth is he married you for permanent stay in Uk and he has a girl in Nigeria that he js showing affection to. I am surprised you didn't see all along. The foundation of your marriage is already faulty there is nothing any councilor will do about it. Infact it is just a matter of time your man would ball out once he gets his citizenship. I am sorry for your dilenma. It is a pity.

Nene05:


He works prefer the man the head and works and I stay home and iron cook clean etc. ..
I'm his full time helper.

He likes me been submissive -I can't be submissive if a man expects me to go out and work like a man.
Our living costs are low and things better this way.

When you have less appreciate things more , plan things and know where every penny goes.

No spare money for another woman etc. ..
Only our household and we spoke about having a family and planning before hand.

hhmmmm!!!
how is a wife working make her a man?

2buffagain:
Does your pussy stink tho? (Big factor that)
Have you been letting yourself go tho?

Answer these and we go from there.

My hygiene is 100
I have other men who want to bed me but trying to work my marriage out.

I think he's not happy I left my job -just thought he would come here get his permanent residency and that's it.
However always told him I'm traditional believe that man should provide and I cater to him.

When I was working he didn't help with any housework and said I was controlling.

Now I'm submissive and calm he likes that but not providing sex

jesmond3945:
Op the truth is he married you for permanent stay in Uk and he has a girl in Nigeria that he js showing affection to. I am surprised you didn't see all along. The foundation of your marriage is already faulty there is nothing any councilor will do about it. Infact it is just a matter of time your man would ball out once he gets his citizenship. I am sorry for your dilenma. It is a pity.

He's got more than a decade to wait.
I sponsored to get him here now can no longer sponsor him.
He doesn't leave the country without me.

I have made the situation to benefit me.

He's not in a position to support anyone else I deliberately don't make an income for this very reason.

I'm not unintelligent.

Ginomel:



Must you ask that?That is not enough reason. Poor advice.

Yes you fool...

Nene05:


He's got more than a decade to wait.
I sponsored to get him here now can no longer sponsor him.
He doesn't leave the country without me.

I have made the situation to benefit me.

He's not in a position to support anyone else I deliberately don't make an income for this very reason.

I'm not unintelligent.

He is a nigerian and very smart too, he only needs 5 years to get permanent residency and then he would plan his next move. I hope you know brexit would also bring other possibilities for him to exploit. If you love someone deeply you would not even be begged to be intimate. Take it to the bank once he gets his ilr boom he would disappear.

2buffagain:


Sorry that you're going through this.
If a man changes as soon as he gets his visa, then it is clear what game he was playing.

It's a temporary visa that if nothing changes will not be renewed.
Will be going back to Nigeria

jesmond3945:
He is a nigerian and very smart too, he only needs 5 years to get permanent residency and then he would plan his next move. I hope you know brexit would also bring other possibilities for him to exploit. If you love someone deeply you would not even be begged to be intimate. Take it to the bank once he gets his ilr boom he would disappear.

He was wishing 5 years -this what he hoped but I left my job so now need to renew next time under different category.

It's only spouse visa that's the least 5 years all others longer with no guarantee only way he can get 5 years if I go back to my job. Which I'm not!!! I'm staying home and want to raise a family.

He didn't appreciate me when I was working
even if he met someone else he needs to leave the country and apply same process again.

k

mhiznikky:
I'm facing the same issue in my marriage

Sorry to hear

so basically the lack of sex in this relationship is not as a result "tiredness" or as a result of "husband should be the head of the house theory" but as a result of visa.
talking about a relationship with a bad foundation

jesmond3945:
He is a nigerian and very smart too, he only needs 5 years to get permanent residency and then he would plan his next move. I hope you know brexit would also bring other possibilities for him to exploit. If you love someone deeply you would not even be begged to be intimate. Take it to the bank once he gets his ilr boom he would disappear.

All I have to do is leave the house and notify them we not living together.
Terms that you live with your spouse or you in breech of your visa.

So boom a giant hole when he applies for Flr and gets declined as visa rules breached.

baralatie:

hhmmmm!!!
how is a wife working make her a man?

Because I can't work 40 hours a week come home do all the cooking and house work and STILL be kind and respectful.

also have an excuse that I can no longer sponsor him
So if he leaves me , he leaves the county.

If you in charge and the head u pay all the bills simple or no respect

Someone needs to do the laundry grocery shopping ironing preparing his lunch for work dinner sewing and any other help he needs from me on a daily basis.

2buffagain:


Yes you fool...

You are even more idiotic than I thought.

Because you are used to meeting dirty women with filthy privates you thought every woman is like them.

Don't bother to quote me again because you are already placed on ignore mode.Skunk.

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Nene05:
Lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship-

Is it ever ok to seek out another person if your boyfriend or husband doesn't show you any affection no cuddle /kisses nothing or says they are tired and unwilling to engage in ANY intimacy? Ongoing long term?

What would you do in this situation? ? We are recently married my husband is from Nigeria I'm British citizen.

I suspect you're the type that uses visa as a weapon, a tool to subjugate and dominate a man. He doesn't love you and I see reasons with him. You call yourself intelligent because you've been able to use his dependency on you for a visa to your advantage? You are the biggest fool in the world, you can eat your passport. I can tell you're the type that will even call the home office if he does something wrong. If he was Black British or perhaps wasn't dependent on you for a visa will you have the temerity to misbehave?
My advice to all men: Never ever trust a woman, a man that uses a woman as his head-pad to carry his load should know he's carrying his load on his bare head. To the wannabe jandos, this is what awaits you when you go abroad. Better remain in Nigeria jeje o before one idiot will trample not only on your rights but your manhood all in the name of visa. No be beans

PharoahIII:
[color=#006600][/color]



I suspect you're the type that uses visa as a weapon, a tool to subjugate and dominate a man. He doesn't love you and I see reasons with him. You call yourself intelligent because you've been able to use his dependency on you for a visa to your advantage? You are the biggest fool in the world, you can eat your passport. I can tell you're the type that will even call the home office if he does something wrong. If he was Black British or perhaps wasn't dependent on you for a visa will you have the temerity to misbehave?
My advice to all men: Never ever trust a woman, a man that uses a woman as his head-pad to carry his load should know he's carrying his load on his bare head. To the wannabe jandos, this is what awaits you when you go abroad. Better remain in Nigeria jeje o before one idiot will trample not only on your rights but your manhood all in the name of visa. No be beans

Oh, so you would have preferred he was the one using her right.

Thank God she was smart enough to know and block all loopholes.

Why marry her for papers and still make her life miserable

PharoahIII:
[color=#006600][/color]



I suspect you're the type that uses visa as a weapon, a tool to subjugate and dominate a man. He doesn't love you and I see reasons with him. You call yourself intelligent because you've been able to use his dependency on you for a visa to your advantage? You are the biggest fool in the world, you can eat your passport. I can tell you're the type that will even call the home office if he does something wrong. If he was Black British or perhaps wasn't dependent on you for a visa will you have the temerity to misbehave?
My advice to all men: Never ever trust a woman, a man that uses a woman as his head-pad to carry his load should know he's carrying his load on his bare head. To the wannabe jandos, this is what awaits you when you go abroad. Better remain in Nigeria jeje o before one idiot will trample not only on your rights but your manhood all in the name of visa. No be beans

If he is using me at least we both benefit from the situation.

I'm not supporting any man to help'bulid' up for him to then leave me not a chance.

All I want is a family and settle down- if he wants visa he will have if he earns it.
He knew my standard from when we met.

Nene05:


He's always working but still need time as his wife

Its only in Nigeria ladies enjoy there husband Sexually ,once they step down in a foreign land. Na money be the koko. Sex becomes the last thing on there mind. Just ask your self, if ur hussyy doesn't pay bills as at when due, would u be happy? Or wont u keep nagging? .that by the way, let me give u a clue.

Just tell ur husband to travel with you to Nigeria on ur own expense, And check if you won't get tired of sex within a week. Why is it so, Its all about the environment we found ourselves. In a foreign land , A typical niaja guy who escape these jungle has something at there forehead. What's that MONEY ,MORE MONEY, U gonna hear guys saying " nigga, I need to make money , Ain't here for bullshit (Sex) , So,

Solution

Don't be a lazy type , Endeavour to also work and assist him thereby reducing his working hours on a daily basis. If he can reduce his working hours within 2 weeks and still able to pay his bills with ur assistance. You will enjoy his sexualization prowess and u will see a huge changes in him.

N.B -You can't expect me to do like 3 different jobs on a daily basis and u expect me to be a sex maniac. Nibo. Kojo rara, Gboju nbe.

mhiznikky:
I'm facing the same issue in my marriage

Here in Nigeria or Europe

Nene05:


He was wishing 5 years -this what he hoped but I left my job so now need to renew next time under different category.

It's only spouse visa that's the least 5 years all others longer with no guarantee only way he can get 5 years if I go back to my job. Which I'm not!!! I'm staying home and want to raise a family.

He didn't appreciate me when I was working
even if he met someone else he needs to leave the country and apply same process again.

I would have loved to see a pics of u . These will enable me to judge the situation well. And by the way , are u British born, Africa/Nigeria lineage, or British lineage .

PharoahIII:
[color=#006600][/color]



I suspect you're the type that uses visa as a weapon, a tool to subjugate and dominate a man. He doesn't love you and I see reasons with him. You call yourself intelligent because you've been able to use his dependency on you for a visa to your advantage? You are the biggest fool in the world, you can eat your passport. I can tell you're the type that will even call the home office if he does something wrong. If he was Black British or perhaps wasn't dependent on you for a visa will you have the temerity to misbehave?
My advice to all men: Never ever trust a woman, a man that uses a woman as his head-pad to carry his load should know he's carrying his load on his bare head. To the wannabe jandos, this is what awaits you when you go abroad. Better remain in Nigeria jeje o before one idiot will trample not only on your rights but your manhood all in the name of visa. No be beans

How is this misbehaving- If I didn't care would not come on here to try sort out my marriage.

I'm supportive wife 24/7 even if he's hungry middle of the night I will get up without grumble and cook him something.

Twoclans:



9 years is a huge gap between you guys ,I will suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with him.

Sex is the most important ingredient in marriage even before money .I wish you luck and maybe you can have a weekend getaway ,it must not be expensive.

U say 9 years is a huge gap between husband and wife. Lol.

Nene05:


Always close next to one another when I try cuddle him says I'm tired got work in the morning turns over and sleeps.

Sometimes this happens after I put candles on dressed up for him.
He says I look nice but he is tired.
Like shall I give him energy pills or I just need to wake up and accept he isn't interested in me?

You can try and put just 1 tablet of Sexual prowess drug in his drink and see if its gonna work on him or not.

slimany:


I would have loved to see a pics of u . These will enable me to judge the situation well. And by the way , are u British born, Africa/Nigeria lineage, or British lineage .

British

slimany:


Its only in Nigeria ladies enjoy there husband Sexually ,once they step down in a foreign land. Na money be the koko. Sex becomes the last thing on there mind. Just ask your self, if ur hussyy doesn't pay bills as at when due, would u be happy? Or wont u keep nagging? .that by the way, let me give u a clue.

Just tell ur husband to travel with you to Nigeria on ur own expense, And check if you won't get tired of sex within a week. Why is it so, Its all about the environment we found ourselves. In a foreign land , A typical niaja guy who escape these jungle has something at there forehead. What's that MONEY ,MORE MONEY, U gonna hear guys saying " nigga, I need to make money , Ain't here for bullshit (Sex) , So,

Solution

Don't be a lazy type , Endeavour to also work and assist him thereby reducing his working hours on a daily basis. If he can reduce his working hours within 2 weeks and still able to pay his bills with ur assistance. You will enjoy his sexualization prowess and u will see a huge changes in him.

N.B -You can't expect me to do like 3 different jobs on a daily basis and u expect me to be a sex maniac. Nibo. Kojo rara, Gboju nbe.

We tried this before me working outside the house.
Says I wasn't submissive also refused to help with any house work.

Why should I worked AND do another job in the house.

Read ur bible titus 2:5
To be obedient patient calm home makers and submissive to your husband.
I'm not materialistic so other than the house and food I don't buy new clothes etc. ..
Just look after what I have.

Other than the lack of sex we get on once we start getting intimate again I'm fully happy in my relationship

sometimes I work from home when I can our bills not expensive.

Also as fresh clothes are always ironed washed food on the table etc. .. This saves him ALOT of time

faithfull18:

Oh, so you would have preferred he was the one using her right.
Thank God she was smart enough to know and block all loopholes.
Why marry her for papers and still make her life miserable

as in ehn! I tire for the dude write up.

slimany:


You can try and put just 1 tablet of Sexual prowess drug in his drink and see if its gonna work on him or not.

irrelevant

I'm really glad you are British. You don't suffer stigmatization much over there on marriage issues.

I can conclude your Nigerian husband doesn't love you if he can't give to you what you crave most from him for this long. There are no excuses!

You have to send him a threat and be serious about it, that If he doesn't want to have sex with you, you could get it a million places outside.

If he believes this, he may want to save his marriage.

Nene05:


It's a temporary visa that if nothing changes will not be renewed.
Will be going back to Nigeria

The both of you aren't communicating.
If it's intentional, then the other person is just looking for a way out.

You've said before that he is paying for things alone and you don't want to work... So you might just be the one not listening.

2buffagain:


The both of you aren't communicating.
If it's intentional, then the other person is just looking for a way out.

You've said before that he is paying for things alone and you don't want to work... So you might just be the one not listening.

If he showed me affection then we would be fine.


Maybe I will give him a deadline and let him know if nothing changes by xyz then just so you know I will be getting to know other men.
And rather than him finding out will let him know before hand.