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Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University - Family - Nairaland

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Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Nobody: 7:18am On May 18, 2019
Some years ago, I was a member of a choir alongside this teenage girl, Stella. She was beautiful, Innocent and had a lovely voice. We got to talk often and I unconsciously started playing a role of a mentor to her. To me, there was sincerity in the innocent look she wore.

Years later, I left my parents, relocated from the area, and three years ago, I learnt she had been admitted to study Communication Art somewhere in the East.

We ran into each other in a mall in Uyo last Christmas and though I wasn't expecting her to be the same girl I used to know, I was surprised at how much she had changed. (If you had Mountain of Fire parents, you'd understand how shocking it is to see a former member on Trousers in public).

After hooking up a couple of times, we spent a night together and it was fun talking of the good old days and sharing experiences we've had in life. We went through the pictures on our phones and I got a shocker when I insisted on looking into the pictures in her vault. She had a collection of her own n.udes, both still images and videos.

She tried explaining, but nothing made sense and I was greatly disappointed. She left in the morning and though I thought I could put her back on track, a part of me had given up on our friendship.

Fast forward to last month, I was in the State in the East where Stella is schooling, for a summit and instead of lodging in a hotel, I saw it as an opportunity of having a good time to talk to Stella. I called her over, we had lunch and sat out a bit.

Telling her, I was passing the night at her house was where I got a picture of the whole thing. She's been living with this guy since her Second year in school, and the guy wouldn't harbor the idea of her coming home with another guy.

That was when she told me that since she started school, the parents have never given her money for accommodation and that aside her tuition fees, the only money she gets from her father is #5,000 monthly for feeding, and some months, it could be as low as #2k.

On gaining admission into the University, she was accommodated by a final year student and member of her fellowship for year, and being stranded at the expiration of the rent, left her with very few options, including co-living with Tony. Her course mate, a 'yahoo boy' who introduced her to clubbing, runs, and stuffs.

While I'm not taking sides, we can't vindicate parents who send their children to school without proper provisions for their welfare.

Parents like Stella's father, a retired School teacher, should know that sending a girl to school without adequate funds could be more dangerous than not sending the girl to school at all. She needs to feed well, dress fine, buy pad and do assignments. And she might not have to hustling ability most guys have.

Parents should also endeavor to know where their wards live in school and if necessary, place them in hands of relatives or associates living close to their wards.


**while this story is a true story, I I have altered the names and not mentioned the name of the school and the State for privacy

3 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by mysteryman2014: 7:26am On May 18, 2019
yourFEARS:
Some years ago, I was a member of a choir alongside this teenage girl, Stella. She was beautiful, Innocent and had a lovely voice. We got to talk often and I unconsciously started playing a role of a mentor to her. To me, there was sincerity in the innocent look she wore.

Years later, I left my parents, relocated from the area, and three years ago, I learnt she had been admitted to study Communication Art somewhere in the East.

We ran into each other in a mall in Uyo last Christmas and though I wasn't expecting her to be the same girl I used to know, I was surprised at how much she had changed. (If you had Mountain of Fire parents, you'd understand how shocking it is to see a former member on Trousers in public).

After hooking up a couple of times, we spent a night together and it was fun talking of the good old days and sharing experiences we've had in life. We went through the pictures on our phones and I got a shocker when I insisted on looking into the pictures in her vault. She had a collection of her own n.udes, both still images and videos.

She tried explaining, but nothing made sense and I was greatly disappointed. She left in the morning and though I thought I could put her back on track, a part of me had given up on our friendship.

Fast forward to last month, I was in the State in the East where Stella is schooling, for a summit and instead of lodging in a hotel, I saw it as an opportunity of having a good time to talk to Stella. I called her over, we had lunch and sat out a bit.

Telling her, I was passing the night at her house was where I got a picture of the whole thing. She's been living with this guy since her Second year in school, and the guy wouldn't harbor the idea of her coming home with another guy.

That was when she told me that since she started school, the parents have never given her money for accommodation and that aside her tuition fees, the only money she gets from her father is #5,000 monthly for feeding, and some months, it could be as low as #2k.

On gaining admission into the University, she was accommodated by a final year student and member of her fellowship for year, and being stranded at the expiration of the rent, left her with very few options, including co-living with Tony. Her course mate, a 'yahoo boy' who introduced her to clubbing, runs, and stuffs.

While I'm not taking sides, we can't vindicate parents who send their children to school without proper provisions for their welfare.

Parents like Stella's father, a retired School teacher, should know that sending a girl to school without adequate funds could be more dangerous than not sending the girl to school at all. She needs to feed well, dress fine, buy pad and do assignments. And she might not have to hustling ability most guys have.

Parents should also endeavor to know where their wards live in school and if necessary, place them in hands of relatives or associates living close to their wards.


**while this story is a true story, I I have altered the names and not mentioned the name of the school and the State for privacy

True. So much pressure to get degree and it comes with a lot of peer pressure in school.
Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Chubhie: 8:21am On May 18, 2019
Mr mentor even had her for a night and was already gunning for another bout before his shocker. Where's bishop imoh to interpret if this is theft by false pretense or outright rape.

6 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by dangotesmummy: 8:28am On May 18, 2019
It takes a girl of strong will and discipline to live a decent life while broke in school because the dirty elements out there is something else

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Nobody: 8:45am On May 18, 2019
Chubhie:
Mr mentor even had her for a night and was already gunning for another bout before his shocker. Where's bishop imoh to interpret if this is theft by false pretense or outright rape.

Which one be false pretense or outright rape my brother? That we passed the night together doesn't mean 'I had her for the night'

2 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Chubhie: 9:43am On May 18, 2019
yourFEARS:


Which one be false pretense or outright rape my brother? That we passed the night together doesn't mean 'I had her for the night'
I think i got drunk this early morning and mistook you as an "Abuja" policeman.

You will agree with me that it's almost a misnomer in today's Nigeria to see Young men attempting to be the change. I salute the difference you bring.

1 Like

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Nobody: 10:46am On May 18, 2019
Chubhie:

I think i got drunk this early morning and mistook you as an "Abuja" policeman.

You will agree with me that it's almost a misnomer in today's Nigeria to see Young men attempting to be the change. I salute the difference you bring.

Lmao, the attached picture though... grin

3 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Esthered: 11:38am On May 18, 2019
OP, it's not enough reason for the girl to live a wayward life. In govt schools, it's easier to do business than private universities. She should have looked for how to earn a living alongside her studies. Children of nowadays have entitlement mentality. The parents have ensured she gets university education. She could have resolved to reduce the burden by helping herself legitimately. What if they're no more, she'll become a high class prostitute or Dubai porta pottie would be an option?

2 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Amanee(f): 12:05pm On May 18, 2019
She has no excuse abeg
Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by ekene101: 4:06pm On May 18, 2019
98% of girls in 9ja are naturally lazy, they hate to hussle and will rather sleep with a corpse for d money.

1 Like

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by PaulAris: 10:28pm On May 18, 2019
I actually disagree.
Just cause her Parents do not meet up to her basic and secondary needs is not a justification for her to live such style.
Heck, who knows what the poor parents are going through. Or you think they'd happily send forth such lil' amount?
She had a choice, and she chose by her own will.
Not under some pressure or something. And even if she was, there are other solutions to choose from.

And to that line you said on hustling; who says ladies can't hustle as well as guys?
In fact what she's doing is even hustle, the runs and all
But we both know that ain't descent at all in the face of your standards and her parents.
So yh, most of the blame is mounted on her head.
She should go put up something on the sidelines.
...
P.S. I wrote this according to the standards of her home training.
But, if her actions are to be answered from a sercular perspective, will say she hasn't done bad.
She needed to do what will make her survive right?
The hustle is real. Use what you gat to get you...
Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by lilmax(m): 10:36pm On May 18, 2019
Lol hoes always have excuses

there are millions of guys that do not even receive money for whatever in school but they work for the money they needed

there are also girls that do not receive money, yet work too

this your mentee is a lazy person with hoe tendencies in the beginning
Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by ednut1(m): 10:37am On May 19, 2019
Even rich kids still live wayward lives. We all have a choice. I have a friend i met on nairaland dat stays near my area i do gv her lift then before she got a better job. She lived on 45k salary lekki ajah axis without opening leg. Never enters bike from bus stop but treks like 30 mins. Some times stops at another bus stop cos of tfare and treks. Even me i was shocked . There are gals in schools plaiting hair and doing nails abeg

3 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by ifyalways(f): 12:20pm On May 19, 2019
Stella is not your sister or relative, why would you want to sleep over in her place?

What have you done to help her since your knew of her situation,talked to her parents, tried to raise cash for her, get a job for her

8 Likes

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by freeze001(f): 4:53pm On May 19, 2019
OP, it is good that you have tried to get close to 'Stella' perhaps because she is supposed to be a good girl from a good/strict family. First, I find it a bit odd that you insisted on looking through her private or 'vault' pictures as you put it, you breached her privacy. Beyond that though, now that you have seen these issues, what steps have you taken to help her and redirect her? Did you try to raise funds for her, get her to learn a trade or handwork/skill so she can earn some money for herself and not depend on her 'boyfriend' for accommodation? Have you tried getting across to her parents to at least give them a general heads-up without appearing to be ratting her out with a view to making them see her as a bad/wayward child? Did you suggest other means through which she could raise the bulk sum needed to pay for an apartment then keep making money and savng for herself? If you have placed yourself as her mentor, it is not just about discovering problems or being disappointed and giving up. You need to work towards proferring viable solutions too.
Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Nobody: 4:56pm On May 19, 2019
yourFEARS:
Some years ago, I was a member of a choir alongside this teenage girl, Stella. She was beautiful, Innocent and had a lovely voice. We got to talk often and I unconsciously started playing a role of a mentor to her. To me, there was sincerity in the innocent look she wore.

Years later, I left my parents, relocated from the area, and three years ago, I learnt she had been admitted to study Communication Art somewhere in the East.

We ran into each other in a mall in Uyo last Christmas and though I wasn't expecting her to be the same girl I used to know, I was surprised at how much she had changed. (If you had Mountain of Fire parents, you'd understand how shocking it is to see a former member on Trousers in public).

After hooking up a couple of times, we spent a night together and it was fun talking of the good old days and sharing experiences we've had in life. We went through the pictures on our phones and I got a shocker when I insisted on looking into the pictures in her vault. She had a collection of her own n.udes, both still images and videos.

She tried explaining, but nothing made sense and I was greatly disappointed. She left in the morning and though I thought I could put her back on track, a part of me had given up on our friendship.

Fast forward to last month, I was in the State in the East where Stella is schooling, for a summit and instead of lodging in a hotel, I saw it as an opportunity of having a good time to talk to Stella. I called her over, we had lunch and sat out a bit.

Telling her, I was passing the night at her house was where I got a picture of the whole thing. She's been living with this guy since her Second year in school, and the guy wouldn't harbor the idea of her coming home with another guy.

That was when she told me that since she started school, the parents have never given her money for accommodation and that aside her tuition fees, the only money she gets from her father is #5,000 monthly for feeding, and some months, it could be as low as #2k.

On gaining admission into the University, she was accommodated by a final year student and member of her fellowship for year, and being stranded at the expiration of the rent, left her with very few options, including co-living with Tony. Her course mate, a 'yahoo boy' who introduced her to clubbing, runs, and stuffs.

While I'm not taking sides, we can't vindicate parents who send their children to school without proper provisions for their welfare.

Parents like Stella's father, a retired School teacher, should know that sending a girl to school without adequate funds could be more dangerous than not sending the girl to school at all. She needs to feed well, dress fine, buy pad and do assignments. And she might not have to hustling ability most guys have.

Parents should also endeavor to know where their wards live in school and if necessary, place them in hands of relatives or associates living close to their wards.


**while this story is a true story, I I have altered the names and not mentioned the name of the school and the State for privacy
Nonsense

1 Like

Re: Dear Parents, Before You Send You Girl Child To The University by Nobody: 5:01pm On May 19, 2019
ednut1:
Even rich kids still live wayward lives. We all have a choice. I have a friend i met on nairaland dat stays near my area i do gv her lift then before she got a better job. She lived on 45k salary lekki ajah axis without opening leg. Never enters bike from bus stop but treks like 30 mins. Some times stops at another bus stop cos of tfare and treks. Even me i was shocked . There are gals in schools plaiting hair and doing nails abeg

Like someone up there said, "hoes will always have excuses".

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