Optimus212:


U're a very badt guys!!

Brotherly,....as for me going close to her, I don lock up!!!

I just built a mindset now that am in a cult group & d condition they gave me is not to have sex with my wife for a year lest I die!

I know myself & she knows me too well, if I make up my mind for something, even my papa no fit mk me change my mind. Am as strict & wicked as that. I noticed from yesterday evening she had started getting closer which I believe her Aunt in Texas must have cautioned her strongly but me, I will never adhere to her advances at all. I have done it b4 & can do worse. Her next life she'll be cool. Anyways she's my wife & graciously d mother of my kids bt, I don lock up & I know she'll beg which I know will not work.

Single & Married Brothers in the House, No matter how you love ur wife or girl, never u allow them take charge of d relationship, whether there's money or not, God made u d head. I laugh at some comments here that states am d wife & she d husband, they knoweth me not.

And to the Sensible Ladies in d House, we all know how women strive to get husbands meanwhile some women have 3 to 4 men fighting for their hand in marriage at a go, its not about your beauty neither is it about ur intelligence. It is GRACE, & who's grace is it? Jehovah's of course. In a nutshell, if u don't cherish or value ur man, that means u do not value God's gift upon ur life.

My wife loves me to an extent that she's extremely jealous, sometimes I'd say to her "Why are u scared" jokingly, she'll reply "which scared" abegii. But I know she is. I jst feel they sometimes do all these to test d man's patience. Any which way sha, me I don lockup. Let her keep learning d HARDWAY.

And sincerely, I have been so relieved with the highly sensitive contributions from some intelligent members here, God Bless U more abundantly. I am far way better compared to the way I was 2 days back before I posted this here.

I believe strongly Suicidal rates looming about will reduce if only d victims can share that burning issue flaming them up.

I'll pick a few folks here before this my comment i'll gift something no matter how small. They won't understand d help they rendered to a burning heart. But not today, within Monday to Friday next week.

God Bless!!

One last thing, do not accept the apologise at the first instance, let it ggo like three times across 2 or 3 days. After which uoubtell her, you can be hard, but love is easy, and the hardness destroys you both inwardly and affects your actions. And you both need to be best friends and need to strengthen the bond to make it deeper than it once was and that you won't permit triviality get in the way of your affection for one another

Don't be the first to apologize hence you retain the remote with her. In fact, do not apologize at all. Las las, you did what's needed to knock some senses into her for the good of the family and as the head of the hone. Hence you owe her no apology but love


Peace Sir

Optimus212

Are you wondering what the problem is or are you looking for an excuse to continue your cheating ways and damage your home?

Your wife has already told you what kills her libido.
But your ego won't allow you listen.

1. She has not forgiven you for cheating on her. Don't say she caused this because you stated she was pregnant at some point coupled with the fact that you on your own decided not to have sex with her for several months. Go back and ask why she decided to apologise even when you were the one threatening to divorce her for that h@rlot. She did it for her kids. The same kids you are using as an excuse not to destroy your home with your own hands.

Go and apologise sincerely for your mistake and reassure her that its her and no one else. Rekindle that trust she has lost in you. A woman's mind is like a deep well. It will take time but she will come around.

2. Your home is not your firm. Learn how to communicate without raising your voice and watch what you say. You can actually communicate better without shouting or using abusive speech. Even if you have to raise your voice to express your frustration, let it be devoid of abusive speech. Your wife is your partner for Christ's sake. If your wife was fund of doing that to you and crawled in bed later to have sex, will you be emotionally and sexually woke to reciprocate after being disrespected? Think!!!!

3. Don't for a second think you can have it better out there. Hungry girls will do anything to manipulate you sexually till they have successfully gotten what they want then show their true colours and all you will be left with are children from different mothers who hate you with a passion. Some won't even be yours. Is that what you want?

Leave Nairaland out of your marriage.
All those giving you high five for executing damaging tactics to punish your wife don't give a sh1t about your marriage or even your kids.
They are helping you turn your home into a war zone and you are here smiling. hmmn!!

People advising you on Facebook want peace in your home. You got angry and ran away from there so faceless people with questionable characters can massage your ego better. You are deceiving yourself.

You are the head- no be by mouth. Learn to lead by example.

No perfect woman anywhere.

lilyheaven:

I can promise you, she is not cheating on you she just has low libido.
I have heard about one drug like that for women to increase their libido.
Even Me typing, needs that drug because I can stay for months without urge.

spanish fly.Thats the name of the drug.

Chuukwudi:



You speak like my kinsman!

Man is might,power and authority. We must restore pure masculinity to manliness in this generation.

kushercain:
Tell her you'll get it elsewhere and if she still doesn't improve, just look for one sidechick to deposit your load. Body no be firewood. Your wife uses sex as a weapon and the only way to defeat her mindset is to let her know the weapon is ineffective. It's better you stop trying to initiate it, stop begging her for sex, let her confuse small.


But wait first, does she have a very low sex drive? Because how can she stay away for 4 months.

you just spoke my mind.....sure she's not getting it somewhere else

Men that think sex is food are subjected to the manipulation of women.

nokatakata:
You have 3 children man. what you talking about? Why beg your wife for sex. She is misbehaving because you are begging her. And you be honest with your story as well. Did she catch you cheating on her? if yes then she can starve you all she wants. that's punishment for cheating. you can't go outside and phuck some random bia.tiches and bring that same di.ck to phuck you wife and give her infection.

If she didn't catch you cheating and cannot give you any cogent reason for the starvation, then you'll have to let her know you cannot live with her in the same house if she won't have sex with you. She either gets phucked by you or get the phuck outta your house. You need to also watch her closely because she might be cheating on you.

Las las, you need to get one or two sweet girls on reserve bench wey you go dey use cure conji pending the time she comes back to her senses....make you nor go dey vomit sperm.

She never caught me cheating, I told her myself.

bluefilm:
Hmmm

Your wife must be very pretty, clean, young, healthy and athletic for you to still be dying to fück her like this... even after three kids.

You must be a lucky man.

As for me, I don't even know what I will still be doing with my wife in the bed after two kids.

I just can't.

She's young and attractive too, u'll hardly decipher she's given birth to 3 kids.
....My brother, if u marry a beautiful intelligent woman, even after 5 kids, d love deepens. e.g. Omotola, Mercy Johnson, Omoni Oboli etc. So jst kill dat believe dat ur wife becomes sh*t after 2 kids. That is ancient & local.

Love is beyond satisfaction in bed bro.

Then you force your prick into her. You married her not the other way round. I hate guys acting like a sisi

So many Nairaland men are just despicable! See the way they are emphatically advising a married man to cheat!

Optimus212:


U're a very badt guys!!

Brotherly,....as for me going close to her, I don lock up!!!

I just built a mindset now that am in a cult group & d condition they gave me is not to have sex with my wife for a year lest I die!

I know myself & she knows me too well, if I make up my mind for something, even my papa no fit mk me change my mind. Am as strict & wicked as that. I noticed from yesterday evening she had started getting closer which I believe her Aunt in Texas must have cautioned her strongly but me, I will never adhere to her advances at all. I have done it b4 & can do worse. Her next life she'll be cool. Anyways she's my wife & graciously d mother of my kids bt, I don lock up & I know she'll beg which I know will not work.

Single & Married Brothers in the House, No matter how you love ur wife or girl, never u allow them take charge of d relationship, whether there's money or not, God made u d head. I laugh at some comments here that states am d wife & she d husband, they knoweth me not.

And to the Sensible Ladies in d House, we all know how women strive to get husbands meanwhile some women have 3 to 4 men fighting for their hand in marriage at a go, its not about your beauty neither is it about ur intelligence. It is GRACE, & who's grace is it? Jehovah's of course. In a nutshell, if u don't cherish or value ur man, that means u do not value God's gift upon ur life.

My wife loves me to an extent that she's extremely jealous, sometimes I'd say to her "Why are u scared" jokingly, she'll reply "which scared" abegii. But I know she is. I jst feel they sometimes do all these to test d man's patience. Any which way sha, me I don lockup. Let her keep learning d HARDWAY.

And sincerely, I have been so relieved with the highly sensitive contributions from some intelligent members here, God Bless U more abundantly. I am far way better compared to the way I was 2 days back before I posted this here.

I believe strongly Suicidal rates looming about will reduce if only d victims can share that burning issue flaming them up.

I'll pick a few folks here before this my comment i'll gift something no matter how small. They won't understand d help they rendered to a burning heart. But not today, within Monday to Friday next week.

God Bless!!

The thing about women is that when you give them chance they will take chances.
Once they start and you dont correct them it becomes a problem .
And the most painful thing is that she thinks she is doing the right thing.

I dated a girl that controlled my present ,my past and my future lol
Anything she say I do
She instruct me and I comply without questioning her
I senior her and I get money pass her o.
She is the only girl Ive dated and she did not allow me touch her breast or remove bra even when we smash.
What she did was to cut me from my friends and everything I enjoy doing(hangout, football , exercises etc)
Then my slavery started .
With all said she is the best girl ive dated, she listens, my problems were hers , she can go that extra mile for me.
But as the thing take end na God know but when it ended I felt her absence even till now . no girl has loved me the way she did.
I'm Glad you listened, made move to sort this issue but some people will just be dying in silence and when you advice them they won't listen. Some stupid men will even tell the woman the advice given to them

PrimadonnaO:
So many Nairaland men are just despicable! See the way they are emphatically advising a married man to cheat!

You need to hear our discussions at the hair saloon and beer parlor

davillian:


I dated a girl that controlled my present ,my past and my future lol
Anything she say I do

My belle oo

bukatyne:


I am happy you have realized that adultery kills a marriage so we know that is a no.

From all your posts on this thread, I would say that you have a healthy libido and you are still sexual interested in your wife (I would guess she is still sexy/good looking).

Your wife knows this and has decided to make it a weapon.

I do not know what the problem is however, of she can laugh with you and relate normally till it is time for sex, then it is a non-issue except if she is psychotic or she has issues with your sexual performance.

You know why playing with her, doing more chores etc. Would not work in your case? Because you are rewarding bad behavior. She misbehaves and you keep dancing round to please her. It has registered that if I sexual starve my husband, he will bend over to please me.

If the issues she had with you was not giving her attention or not helping with chores etc, the above would have helped.

Don't just reward bad behavior in your spouse.

What is the solution?
1. Engage her once again, apologize for breaching the trust in your marriage and assure her that you have never cheated again. Whatever the issues are, look into them genuinely and adjust where needed.

If she does not change, then:

Learn how to control yourself sexually. It will be hard however, don't let her feel you cannot do without her.

Stop playing with her or giving her attention. If she ignores your sexual needs, ignore her need for attention and learn to be self sufficient. If she wouldn't cook, feed yourself. Whatever leverage she has on you, learn to provide or beat it.

By now, she would start trying to get your attention by throwing more tantrums... Let her be. If she offers you sex because she is turned on, don't oblige her.

If you do not care about your appearance prior to now, please do. Change your haircut, mode of dressing, get good cologne etc.

When she finally comes around genuinely (not because she needs sex or something else), respectfully lay down the ground rules. If she has issues with you, discussion is the way to go.

Now, if after first engagement, she says your sex life is the problem, get self help books on sex and seduction and up your game in the bedroom.

In all of this, do not cheat or behave in any manner that you will have a blame.

Couples should not treat sex as a treat or reward. It is a duty (I am even taking live out of the equation) you pledged to do.

Goodluck.

K
U
D
O
S
... I wish lala give you a cold can of origin .
Just kidding .

UjuJoan2:


Hmmmmn . . . nawa ooh. So you are addicted to sex. . much like a high people get from drugs and alcohol.

Did your wife sign up for it? Did she know she will be doing the work of a sex machine in her marriage? Did she know she was marrying a nymph?

Sex is NOT food, or else celebates will be dead. You do not need regular sex to thrive or stay healthy. That's the addiction lying to you.

You wife does not have the same drive as you, she cannot kill herself to feed your obsession.

Since you read so much, why not seek help?

I hate how men put women under undue pressure in the name of marriage. If the woman dies trying to keep you healthy, you'll just move on to the next person.

I have resigned to not insulting people on Nairaland... but I just have to say - You are the most slow witted shallow excuse of a sane person I have ever gotten the privilege to read from!!!

you're so so naive. how old are you??

I don't know why women feel they do men a favour by allowing us have sex with them and this make them feel they can punish men by denying them sex.
Imagine your own wife too. Don't ladies have sexual urges or did God just make men alone to be sex freaks?. Abi is it only women that knows they way to pretend and men don't. It's baffles me when I see men begging for sex

Optimus212:

Hi Nairalanders....Please Admin, help me push to Front Page, i'm in dire need of people's opinions.

Pls ignore my writing skills because the way the matter be, my head dey shake like this.

My story is brief.

I am married to my wife & we're blessed with 3 kids,
..My wife starves me of sex over minor issues, even when we've settled by my apologies & me assisting remarkably well in house chores.
There was a period 2 years back she starved me of sex for 4 months because of one little misunderstanding we had back then which was unbearable for me & made me to cheat on her,..And my relationship lasted for more than a year with that lady.

Right now she (my wife) has started again with same attitude, its going to a month now. I am confused because I don't want to cheat on her again. What do i do? Should i keep facing such punishment? For how long? Or, should i file for a divorce? Don't you think such attitude will have reoccurrences in time coming?. It is disturbing me badly because I find it difficult to be sleeping alone at nite without her by my side. I have begged & begged her to let whatever anger towards me that is deposited in her to just die off, yet to no avail. The funny thing is, we'll discuss and play very well before going to bed but, whenever I start making advances towards her, she shows up a different attitude.

I am confused!! It is really really disturbing me. How & where did I go wrong?.

Pls, matured advices only, you can insult me too, of course its Nairaland but, I need serious advice, I am very worried.
Thanks.

Is Sex Food? So you want to divorce her because of Sex. Oga your brain needs reset.

na man u be jare.

Planet3xi:



Forget sex for now, go and regain the power dynamics in this relationship. You've put her in the front seat hence she's riding you anyhow. Give irritating habits, strange habits come late. Don't ask for sex. Dress up walk out. In two weeks shell be back begging. Toss this toxic relationship aside nigger life is too short. Call her people tell them there can't be two men in the house and you have needs. If she can't meet your needs you wish to create space for some who will give it


Just man up already. If people hate peace then give them war. I'm a peaceful man but once a person rejects my peace offering straight I wear my war uniform. God punish devil

ramatintin:
na man u be jare.

Twale

Hmm. Na Professionals full this thread. Make I learn small

Op stop taking advice from people that haven’t been there, those that can’t even keep a wife talk less a girlfriend. Don’t be misled, you both should discuss deeply and ask her her fears. She might be scared of std since you’ve cheated before.
There’s no gain in cheating and sleeping around, it’s not worth it bro. It drains you.

Your point 3 is just the truth. People think it’s good out there but no it’s not.

koyyes:
Optimus212

Are you wondering what the problem is or are you looking for an excuse to continue your cheating ways and damage your home?

Your wife has already told you what kills her libido.
But your ego won't allow you listen.

1. She has not forgiven you for cheating on her. Don't say she caused this because you stated she was pregnant at some point coupled with the fact that you on your own decided not to have sex with her for several months. Go back and ask why she decided to apologise even when you were the one threatening to divorce her for that h@rlot. She did it for her kids. The same kids you are using as an excuse not to destroy your home with your own hands.

Go and apologise sincerely for your mistake and reassure her that its her and no one else. Rekindle that trust she has lost in you. A woman's mind is like a deep well. It will take time but she will come around.

2. Your home is not your firm. Learn how to communicate without raising your voice and watch what you say. You can actually communicate better without shouting or using abusive speech. Even if you have to raise your voice to express your frustration, let it be devoid of abusive speech. Your wife is your partner for Christ's sake. If your wife was fund of doing that to you and crawled in bed later to have sex, will you be emotionally and sexually woke to reciprocate after being disrespected? Think!!!!

3. Don't for a second think you can have it better out there. Hungry girls will do anything to manipulate you sexually till they have successfully gotten what they want then show their true colours and all you will be left with are children from different mothers who hate you with a passion. Some won't even be yours. Is that what you want?

Leave Nairaland out of your marriage.
All those giving you high five for executing damaging tactics to punish your wife don't give a sh1t about your marriage or even your kids.
They are helping you turn your home into a war zone and you are here smiling. hmmn!!

People advising you on Facebook want peace in your home. You got angry and ran away from there so faceless people with questionable characters can massage your ego better. You are deceiving yourself.

You are the head- no be by mouth. Learn to lead by example.

No perfect woman anywhere.

ericsmith:





lemme start by saying i am not yet married buh i see alot of comments here charging you up to react , and when heard you say "shout madly @ her" i knew the problem is you talk to much that as given her the lead over you, no be say ur wife no dey crave for you buh women are good @masking there feeling when their is a motive or goal to be achieved
Men act women talk, first of all stop nagging,be joyful,make her jealous however i won't advice you cheat since you're married rather give her a silent treatment, act unpredictable(fake tins up) women crave for attention show little or none,stop giving her that lustful look that make her feel she is turning ur head, its hard but summon courage ,its a little price to pay to get ur power back.
nothing unsettles a woman like when they don't see that lust in there man's eye anymore.




when people see you joyous without them and tell cannt tell or trace ur source of joy they get jealous n crave to come closer..lol !!

I sight u bro

As for d ignoring mode (its already activated)
Am giving myself a year & i'll do it. (As per sex) I know myself too well.

Tnx anyways.

Planet3xi (PICKED)

Chai, dis guy first finish me sha but las las him com calm down, e be like say him don experience dis kind thing before

bukatyne (PICKED)

Tnx a mil. Great Wisdom dwells in U.

Planet3xi:



Whatever. Hater. Point one sound counsel Mr everyone else is foolish has given. If you see my fiancee you will die. Plus, I hold eight marriages together,all over ten years. Woe betide your father

You hold 8 marriages together with that kind advice you gave? LOL Hmmm! Even a one year old child knows that nobody lies better than you.Finally your last curse proves me right: YOU are an underage.

Planet3xi:



Whatever. Hater. Point one sound counsel Mr everyone else is foolish has given. If you see my fiancee you will die. Plus, I hold eight marriages together,all over ten years. Woe betide your father

You hold 8 marriages together with that kind advice you gave? LOL Hmmm! Even a one year old child knows that nobody lies better than you.Finally your last curse proves me right: YOU are an underage Finally having a fiancee means you are not married, so you know nothing about advising married people, Please go & advise those that want to fill JAMB form, they are your class..

luluman:
You hold 8 marriages together with that kind advice you gave? LOL Hmmm! Even a one year old child knows that nobody lies better than you.Finally your last curse proves me right: YOU are an underage.

Get lost eediot. Get a lif leave me alonem I'm not responsible for your life's issues
Go to hell. If you don't like my posts ignore them, otherwise go straight to hades. Even the Op seems them as okay with him. Stop crying more than the bereaved. If I'm so terrible and want to destroy his home, you could point out a reasonable thing you've commented concerning the issue slow poke. Na me do you?

I am trying to imagine how it would be like to beg my wife for sef but the "imagination" no conjure at all!

My wife is too woman to try it and I am too man to take that unbelievable rubbish!

Emi ITU BABA`TA! Guy you no be man, no vex.

Optimus212:

Planet3xi (PICKED)

Chai, dis guy first finish me sha but las las him com calm down, e be like say him don experience dis kind thing before

bukatyne (PICKED)

Tnx a mil. Great Wisdom dwells in U.

It is well Sir. God will perfect what He's building through you

armyofone:
After 3kids na sex you dey worry about and want divorce are those kids in private schools or do you have a strong financial savings for each college education?
You know, man- you get misplaced priority and na fu....ck!

so make the man no Fvck again ba

Planet3xi:



Get lost eediot. Get a lif leave me alonem I'm not responsible for your life's issues
Go to hell. If you don't like my posts ignore them, otherwise go straight to hades. Even the Op seems them as okay with him. Stop crying more than the bereaved. If I'm so terrible and want to destroy his home, you could point out a reasonable thing you've commented concerning the issue slow poke. Na me do you?

Since you have fiancee & not wife, please go advise secondary school students your mates.