ebyjoyken:
After reading all this, you still want clarification from me?

ebyjoyken:
After reading all this, you still want clarification from me?

crackhaus:

My assumption is if she had kept up the question & answer session with me, she will begin revealing what she has actually been saying/doing to make the husband start seeing her as the enemy within

Graxie:
please ignore that guy, do yourself a favor and do that. He has a female partner here, all they do is ridicule women and make light of their pain. You just ignore them.

bukatyne:


Hahahaha.

Lay all cards on the table and we know where to chook mouth.

Graxie:
[s]please ignore that guy, do yourself a favor and do that. He has a female partner here, all they do is ridicule women and make light of their pain. You just ignore them.[/s]

ebyjoyken:
i am not i swear. I don't even have a say. I wish he is on this forum, so that you can ask him.

ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

crackhaus:
First of all, not calling your family to share his condolences is very odd if everything was alright between himself and your family, very odd.

Does this mean he did not attend the burial of your late father as well?

You also stated that both of you have never had any serious issues. Well, this is a misleading claim to make considering that something serious definitely changed/happened recently to make him start threatening to get the children to challenge & be rude to you - this is not a good thing also, but context is important.

My advise is that you keep your story straight and share exactly what you know is going on.
I understand why you would feel the need to construct the story in such a way as to make yourself a victimized and guiltless bystander in the matter, but unless your goal is to get your husband bashed by the usual suspects, then I don't see what your aim here is.

ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

healthserve:
What is marriage becoming thesedays. Every day another sad marriage tale. We need to start looking at the bigger picture if a marriage doesn't work. It's how it is. What's the point staying under the same roof with someone we don't love. A marriage where all the loving and respect has flown out the window will also produce issues like this one. But then, there's always two sides to every tale and many times the tale bearer presents the side of the story that absolves them of any kind of wrong doing

ebyjoyken:
Thank you ma. I have been loyal and respectful to him. He has been abusing me emotionally but i refused to break. But he found my weekness and that's my children. Every little thing he will threaten me that he will take my kids away from me. I have been good with his siblings and mum. If he sees my children around me, he gets angry and ask them to leave my side. It is beginning to really bother me. If he does something wrong and i correct him or tell him to treat people with love, he becomes very angry and starts threatening me with my kids . Telling me that i will soon run mad. So many things but i can't bear my heart on a public forum.

Fountainofyouth:



Where does it say she doesnt respect him? Didn't you see where she said anytime she challenges the horseband he'll tell the kids to insult her? Does your definition of challenge means being rude? Did you even read to understand or you read to blurt out whatever rubbish your little brain told you to type

Fountainofyouth:



I have noticed one trend with so called males here, they usually type @emboldened when it is a female stating her issues, but when it's a male, their functioning brain goes on hibernation, SMH!!

If you want to hear the other side of the story, kindly get in touch with the horseband, and bring him here to say his version, in the meantime, this is all we have, if you are not satisfied with her version, don't even try to comment, and the next time you see a female thread stating her sad family issues, kindly jump and pass.

DMerciful:
You did nothing, your husband just said it from nowhere? Women always tell stories to suit their narrative. You always respect your husband,
your parents, and yet he just preemptively say if you do something you've not do this will be his reaction? Fear God o

Fountainofyouth:



You are the bigger joke dude.

GrabHisBalls:
You need to rephrase the emboldened to 'whenever you guys have disagreements which subsequent leads to a quarrel'.

Firstly, your marriage has lasted a decade so you should know your husband more than anyone. If you really need a solution, then you should look inward to see if there are things you do or say to him that he finds disrespecting. There lies one of your solutions.

Secondly, you're obviously bitter your husband didn't call your family when you lost your dad. Have you found out from him why he didn't? Did your family offend him in any way? And even if he was offended, nothing justifies not sharing his condolence at that time. Regardless, you have to forgive him in order to have a peaceful marriage since he's your husband.

Lastly, you don't have to be scared if you've been in your best behavior or get angry when it's demanded. Your kids are actually seeing everything and know quite a lot if you're thinking they don't. When your husband is in his best mood, you should have a talk with him to resolve these underlying issues before they'll escalate to something irreconcilable.

xoftcore:
Then start repecting him
Because you are rude

vickydankal:


I believe you. I think the husband is not honoured adequately. It is like a tank. Not just respect but honour. Make him your king. In my village the best way to control a man (Husband) is to allow him to be the man, honour him, respect, and submit to him totally. Then he will unconsciously hand over the kingdom to you. Check between Vasti and Queen Esther in the bible. Honour was what dethroned one and enthroned the other. Have ever heard 'His wife is controlling him' this is one of the keys to do that.