I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

Are you Idris Okuneye?

Answer me before I advise you.

My name is Adviser Nowamagbe

daddytime:
Are you Idris Okuneye?

Answer me before I advise you.

My name is Adviser Nowamagbe

No sir I’m not.

Add my gamertag on codm, hiddenrain
Let's fuckkk shiit up

Coughs

Where is Tony Tetuila??

Tony Tetuila is in the best position to advice..

Good for Benita and enjoy your life,
Susan will give you high blood pressur

I will comment on this.
Hmmm.... Love mata no be beans o especially when you're emotionally attached to someone you love. To be frank, Susan looks like a girl who's taking advantage of your weakness i.e kindness in everything. And Benita is a wife material if that's who she truly is. And your family prefer you marrying Susan because she's out of school. Is that it?
Wow! My dear guy, you have weighted the qualities you saw in Susan and Benita and you have concluded that Benita makes you happier. Na you go marry person no be your family. Na you see wetin them never see. Marriage is for life! Once you go in, no turning back unless you want to remain single till Jesus comes.
If Benita makes you happy and you desire to be with her, get to know her better. But as for Susan haa i don't know wetin I fit say.
All I got to tell you is.......FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND PRAY TO CHOSE WISELY..... All the best.

Women matter for 2020.....na God go help you!

Oga, mr lover boy, you too de romantic and emotional to woman, and you early love. You better adjust the volume of your emotion and love to them girls. One thing i ave to tell you, never you trust, love too much on any girl in the university, because them girl this days don go wild.

EmpressT:
I will comment on this.
Hmmm.... Love mata no be beans o especially when you're emotionally attached to someone you love. To be frank, Susan looks like a girl who's taking advantage of your weakness i.e kindness in everything. And Benita is a wife material if that's who she truly is. And your family prefer you marrying Susan because she's out of school. Is that it?
Wow! My dear guy, you have weighted the qualities you saw in Susan and Benita and you have concluded that Benita makes you happier. Na you go marry person no be your family. Na you see wetin them never see. Marriage is for life! Once you go in, no turning back unless you want to remain single till Jesus comes.
If Benita makes you happy and you desire to be with her, get to know her better. But as for Susan haa i don't know wetin I fit say.
All I got to tell you is.......FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND PRAY TO CHOSE WISELY..... All the best.

Thanks a lot sir. I appreciate your kind response and advice

Waiting for the elders of the land

You're welcome. Point of correction, I am a woman o

mrbenjame:

Thanks a lot sir. I appreciate your kind response and advice

emmydiamon:
Oga, mr lover boy, you too de romantic and emotional to woman, and you early love. You better adjust the volume of your emotion and love to them girls. One thing i ave to tell you, never you trust, love too much on any girl in the university, because them girl this days don go wild.

This was exactly what some of my close friends told me and this makes me more confused. Now you see why I need advice

Hmmmmnn... Weigh up your options between the two girls very well, based on your love, emotions and most importantly, PRAY TO GOD TO HELP YOU IN YOUR DECISION!!!

EmpressT:
You're welcome.
Point of correction, I am a woman o

Sorry ma. Correction taken.

My nigga i would advice you to be more patient on this case. See your relationship with Benita is still young, by the way she is in 100lv, girls are mostly calm in their first year in school (talking from experience) so she can still exhibit different behaviors...
You can sit Susan down and talk to her, if she change. fine but if she didn't u can go for Benita but my mind is telling Benita will still Bleep up.

Baba u already have ur answer, Benita! You said she makes you happy. Why are you still considering someone who has and will keep being a pain in your ass? Oga, learn to manipulate your emotions. It's good to be nice, but be careful, else you will be taken advantaged of. Lastly, don't set your mind on the girl in school. History has taught we Nigerian men never to hope on having a lasting relationship with girls who just entered into the university.

Brunicekid:
Hmmmmnn... Weigh up your options between the two girls very well, based on your love, emotions and most importantly, PRAY TO GOD TP HELP YOU IN YOUR DECISION!!!

I will. Thanks

Sharmeenator:
Baba u already have ur answer, Benita! You said she makes you happy. Why are you still considering someone who has and will keep being a pain in your ass? Oga, learn to manipulate your emotions. It's good to be nice, but be careful, else you will be taken advantaged of. Lastly, don't set your mind on the girl in school. History has taught we Nigerian men never to hope on having a lasting relationship with girls who just entered into the university.

Hmmmmm. Another point!

In this situation, you've to wait for good time to settled down, if you cannot do away with both of them.

In your doings, i think you're the kind that love to involve family in every issues, it is bad to some extent.

And who said you can not marry a lady in her 100level, the question is will she accept your marriage proposal, there is nothing wrong with that, 3years is not that far, she'll also become a graduate.

how old are you?

As for the first lady i thinks she is one of those feminists that says they can't cook, wash, or do any domestic duties untill they get married to him........she may come back to her senses when she get married, i know she grow up in a family where you find the father and mother figured and she saw how her mother do every needful things a wife ought to do to her husband and family and cooking is the top priority.

If you're afraid to make decision that will hurt susan, benita, and family, break up with the both ladies, and found a new love, though everyone has thier own imperfections..... Choose one and endure with thier flaws.

whats good about the 1st woman that you would want to continue being around her?!

Follow your heart Hun... Or let me make it easy for you.... In a scenario where you were suppose to meet Benita for a date.. And Susan shows up at your house, and don't forget you still have feelings for Susan.. And eventually you spent the time you were suppose to be with Benita, you spent it with susan... Would you feel guilty about that... And vice versa... You can choose the one that you'd feel guilty about.... For hurting..

Please let me make a clarity here, there is difference between dating and getting married to undergraduate student or don't we have married women that are still in university?

The Op is planing to settled to down with one of them soonest...

You need more time to study both of them. Focus on yourself and building your life for now

Susan shows some immature characters but expecting her to cook for you is not one of them. Cooking for a man will not take you to the altar. Have you both expressed interest towards commitment?

Benita is most likely younger, has less dating experience or forming format so that you can propose to her. But she will most likely change in the long run. You need to spend more time with her.


Choose who will give you peace of mind in the long run.

MrBrownJay1:
whats good about the 1st woman that you would want to continue being around her?!

She’s very lively, she knows how to flirt with me in public thereby making everyone envy me, very playful and liked by my family members.

funmisticqueen2:
You need more time to study both of them. Focus on yourself and building your life for now

Susan shows some immature characters but expecting her to cook for you is not one of them. Cooking for a man will not take you to the altar. Have you both expressed interest towards commitment?

Benita is most likely younger, has less dating experience or forming format so that you can propose to her. But she will most likely change in the long run. You need to spend more time with her.


Choose who will give you peace of mind in the long run.

I didn’t say she must cook. But atleast show concern often times. I’ve dated Benita for 2 years and Susan for 4 years before having to think this deep.

mrbenjame:


I didn’t say she must cook. But atleast show concern often times. I’ve dated Benita for 2 years and Susan for 4 years before having to think this deep.

okay

How old is Susan... How old is Benita?

Personally, I think it's such a big clause that Benita is just in 100 level. But if she's very open to getting married at that level, all well and good.

Susan seems like a person who is taking you for granted... and will get even worse in marriage. These are the signs... so you don't marry her and tomorrow everyone starts asking, "didn't you see the signs while y'all were dating?"

Benita seems like a sweet soul. Yes, she'll change as the years go by, but it doesn't mean she'll become the very opposite of what she is.

I may have been like Benita in some ways when I was in 100 level, too. Yes, I've changed, but only in getting older, wiser and a lot more refined... so it means I do things slightly different. But retained most of those qualities. My boyfriend from that time still wants back like nothing ever happened.

You may want to have a heart to heart discussion with Benita and see where she stands on settling down...

But first, how old is she?

P.S It's really a bad thing you're two-timing, though. Really bad.

OP, you are talking about "like by family", ok. If I were you, I wouldn't consider marrying any of them since you can't make an outright choice between the two, if you can't find qualities in the lady you want to marry, that will make you leave other women and stick with her, then keep searching, but since you are not me, you will want to marry one of them, the Susan may not be bad, she have a whole lot learn, but she may be bad, she may like you but not enough to have your interest at heart, marrying someone without your interest at heart is a time bomb, it will surely blow you up. The ball still lies in your court, you know exactly what you want, go for it.

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that atleast once a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it. Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.


I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides this it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her ( though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!).

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.


After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.


Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.


Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

Werey oni love. ..You must be a scriptwritter...
wasting ....Your.. . Time on diffrent classic of hoe..