I Was A Husband: My Experience - Family (38) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Was A Husband: My Experience (132903 Views)
My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? / How Do I Handle A Husband Who Wants To Have Sex Almost Everyday? / Wife To Husband: ‘my Pregnancy Isn’t Yours’ (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) ... (43) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by pacespot(m): 7:35am On May 15, 2020 |
Candanyl: No matter how innocuous a term seems, some people will use it to propagate their own selfish interests, that is what the concept of feminism is being for by some women, which is why it is important that those successful feminists you mentioned should lead by example and let the world know what they stand for. 8 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by SirMichael1: 7:37am On May 15, 2020 |
seunlayi:So what has that got to do with your prequel post? Why would you say you can settle for a woman who has seen countless men when obviously you can't settle for one that has seen only one- reason why you got yourself a virgin. Stop giving advice you cannot take. And if I may, do not bring up religious stuff when it is needless, besides, why do you think it's within the conversation to bring up your marital year? Oga I do not care. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by wirinet(m): 8:42am On May 15, 2020 |
Ybaby: It seems you are ignorant that Cosmas Maduka was an "infidel" before he married Charity. Cosmas married charity at the age of 19 years when he had nothing, and they build their fortune together. Their company CosCharis (COSmas and CHARIty) is a testament that his wife was critical to his success. 6 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Purplegem: 8:47am On May 15, 2020 |
In everything i read the only thing i am happy for is that you were able to get a good life for yourself, now that grace as smiled at you face your work, and children and if you still have some love in you, you should move on. Be happy bro. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by wirinet(m): 9:03am On May 15, 2020 |
nwaimoroseyaho: It false to suggest that it happens in Every marriage, it happens in lots of marriages, especially if the purpose of the marriage is material and financial. I have seen many marriages where the husband lost his job and the woman had to pick up the gauntlet to provide for the family until the man finds his feet. And you don't think it's also tiring and depressing for the only the man to working day and night to provide for his family. Marriage is not "happy ever after". Any man or woman that is not ready to suffer the vagaries and uncertainties of marriage should not marry and stick to baby mama and baby daddy. It good that you did not find financial solace somewhere else. I hope you also did not insult, disrespect and demean your husband at his most difficult period. If you did, he would have some grudge in his heart for the rest of his life, as he will feel you only married him for financial security. It's difficult to mend fences after such betrayals. How do you ment fences with someone that does not love you, but only after material gains. What happens if things get difficult again? 3 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Chinny024(f): 9:04am On May 15, 2020 |
perryy: Hian oooo... Oga,what she did was so so bad.... Remember, she might have been pushed to do such in other to meet up with the needs... ...I can't condemn her outrightly... He even admitted that she wasn't like that before.. 1 Like |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by razible5384(m): 9:06am On May 15, 2020 |
Obingene:l will love to cease this ample opportunity to express my profound gratitude to you for putting that hoe where she belongs... U have been a worthy representative to the noble men in this forum an u are a true son of your father... May ur wealth of wisdom never run dry 5 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by djon78(m): 9:09am On May 15, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO: You can tell that to Westerners that introduced this Christianity to us. Where majority have had 2 to 3 marriages. Including there clerics and Pastors. No one is praying for divorce. But if unavoidably it happens like ops case. One can comfortably remarry. Even Baba God understands. Many evil people have used this no divorce issues to mess up the life of those they are married to because they can't divorce. Thereby tormenting the life of there fellow spouse. 1 Like |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 9:12am On May 15, 2020 |
razible5384: The pleasure is mine Sir  1 Like |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Maduawuchukwu(m): 9:18am On May 15, 2020 |
Trayceey: Lol. His wife did not only commit adultery, she humiliated and abandoned him for another man. He should now go back. If your husband chased you out of your house and brought in another lover, will you go back to him if he asks you to when his lover eventually abandons him? 1 Like |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Maduawuchukwu(m): 9:29am On May 15, 2020 |
Chinny024: So he should take back the woman who showed that she could not stand with him in trying times now that he is doing well? If he goes broke again the woman should abandon him again? So a wife is only for the good times and not the bad times right? 1 Like |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by KristaPretty(f): 9:42am On May 15, 2020 |
So sad. This marriage thing is a horror movie  I pray you find happiness. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by PropertyBuying(f): 9:50am On May 15, 2020 |
Marriage is almost always a contentious issue in any society. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by jellybabee(f): 10:01am On May 15, 2020 |
Sankabson:Ameen!!! |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by sylve11: 10:14am On May 15, 2020 |
southniyikaye: Hmmmm   3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by sylve11: 10:16am On May 15, 2020 |
Ybaby: This is deep.. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Holluwhakemmy(f): 10:22am On May 15, 2020 |
The men who succeed are the efficient few. They are few who have the ambition and will power to develop themselves. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:46am On May 15, 2020 |
djon78: Well, may the Grace of God be sufficient for us all. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:47am On May 15, 2020 |
tunmiluabi:God will help you. Only He can calm every stormy wind and speak peace to every raging storm. It is well with you. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by GlorifiedTunde(m): 11:01am On May 15, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO: Even better than that is to try to keep the marriage intact by all means - as long as there's no physical abuse or violence. It's easier for women to go on without sex, but for a complete man ... Nah! This is just reality! 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by JYKZ: 11:15am On May 15, 2020 |
I believe u married someone's else wife, may be u even snatched her from another man bcs he wasn't buoyant enough. and now nemesis is catching up with u. carry ur cross bro. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by PrimadonnaO(f): 11:27am On May 15, 2020 |
GlorifiedTunde: I agree. Somehow, I feel the option of a divorce and possible remarriage makes people careless with their choice of a spouse. Because that’s where the problem starts from. If people were more conscious about the fact that they are in for a FOREVER ride, they’ll choose their partners VERY CAREFULLY... and after that, put in utmost effort to see that the marriage works. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Chinny024(f): 11:32am On May 15, 2020 |
Maduawuchukwu: Wasn't she with him all the while?.......Both of them endured the trying times together if you had read well.Not until temptations set in... In my opinon,if given a second time,I believe she would change. Anyways,He has the right to make decision on who to spend the rest of his life with....She was at fault,and doesnt deserve mercy in human eyes..However,whosoever that hasn't sin in one way or the other should stone her to death... Don't quote me concerning this issue anymore... |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by tunmiluabi: 11:45am On May 15, 2020 |
yankeenowo: Maybe you are right, no doubt, I might have misread the situation. But do you think with 170K she would have been able to pay the rent of 950k/year and and still pay school fees for our child? I say no. We both had mutual contributions and projection. I fulfilled my part. I never failed. I would like to say before I got married, I might not have been doing so well, but I funded the marriage with my 3years of savings. That same business might not have been doing well but it had its times. Sometimes I will bring home 10k, 20k/month, although it might take some time to bring so much but when its good 2 to 3months apart I can bring about 200k.. for 6month I may go with very little. still, I was hopeful it would be better. During her earlier salary situation was not bad, probably because we were in a 1bed apartment and the pressure was less - Also, I was providing the much I could. As indicated in my earlier lines most of my income went into doing practically everything. She contributed immnesly as well. It only got really worse when the position came. The new apartment even took a lot out of us. I agreed to the move because I felt saving for the rent might not be a difficult thing to do. Till I left the apartment we never owed. Despite quarrels, I was still able help her with the transition to the new position. The transition was such that she had to be good at at staistics and business modeling for the new marketing Insight role. I trained her in SAS, advanced excel and Power BI before I left the house. Coupled with her natural brilliance she was able to secure it. What more could I have done. If I was lazy I would not have had time for that and would normally have told her to look else where. There were times when I would walk from iponri to fadeyi and back seeking clients going form shop to shop, office to office to secure client. That is not to say I did not use public transport. There were also time when I will call friends to help as well. If you read my threads well, I had my share of good contributions and support. I might not have met up of to her expectation. Some comment indicted I might have been weak. Maybe, but what I know is that, I am happy for the way handled the situation. It could have turned out terrible. I was hopeful things were going to change. That kept me going. You can't force a change on anyone. You can only do your part. I believe these things happens, it has happened to many people, I will not be first and the last, why fight a lost battle. I fought for my marriage the best I could. I might not have been so religious about it, but I did the best I could. I have fought many battles, I won some, I lost some. In this particular one I lost woefully. In one of the threads, someone indicated I might have cheated with another woman or even have left with another woman. I could have, I wish I did but I did not. I have the right mental strength to whistand the situation but maybe I lacks the right approach to deal with it. Its a pity our frustrations are different and problems are unique, just like the way we deal with them. I have no comment. I might not be a saint but I really do know what I want. Please I would like to make this submission my last one. Permit me to rest my case. Thank you all. 9 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by wirinet(m): 11:45am On May 15, 2020 |
Holluwhakemmy: I am surprised by women with these mindset, it betrays faulty background, probably due to a disfunctional polygamous family. How can someone say men who succeed are the efficient few. Are you insinuating that the millions of men working or doing various businesses are failures or inefficient majority? Have you seen a jobless, unsuccessful and inefficient man go through all the expenses and rituals of marriage? Obviously most men marry when they are fairly financially stable and hope for a brighter future. But shit happens. A man falls and rises several times during his life time. It's a tragedy to marry a woman who would step on a man when his down instead of helping him in rising up. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Emperor140: 11:47am On May 15, 2020 |
LuQuLuQu:If u went through the four walls for schools like say PRI, sec and poly then ur parent had wasted money on u 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by tunmiluabi: 11:50am On May 15, 2020 |
kennedyugo: |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by cruz419(m): 11:51am On May 15, 2020 |
thanks for sharing and being sincere ,,i pray God will help us make good decision when the time come cos these dayz am scared of marriage oo.. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by tunmiluabi: 12:07pm On May 15, 2020 |
Ybaby: Maybe you are right, no doubt, I might have misread the situation. But do you think with 170K she would have been able to pay the rent of 950k/year and and still pay school fees for our child? I say no. We both had mutual contributions and projection. I fulfilled my part. I never failed. I would like to say before I got married, I might not have been doing so well, but I funded the marriage with my 3years of savings. That same business might not have been doing well but it had its times. Sometimes I will bring home 10k, 20k/month, although it might take some time to bring so much but when its good 2 to 3months apart I can bring about 200k.. for 6month I may go with very little. still, I was hopeful it would be better. During her earlier salary situation was not bad, probably because we were in a 1bed apartment and the pressure was less - Also, I was providing the much I could. As indicated in my earlier lines most of my income went into doing practically everything. She contributed immnesly as well. It only got really worse when the position came. The new apartment even took a lot out of us. I agreed to the move because I felt saving for the rent might not be a difficult thing to do. Till I left the apartment we never owed. Despite quarrels, I was still able help her with the transition to the new position. The transition was such that she had to be good at at staistics and business modeling for the new marketing Insight role. I trained her in SAS, advanced excel and Power BI before I left the house. Coupled with her natural brilliance she was able to secure it. What more could I have done. If I was lazy I would not have had time for that and would normally have told her to look else where. There were times when I would walk from iponri to fadeyi and back seeking clients going form shop to shop, office to office to secure client. That is not to say I did not use public transport. There were also time when I will call friends to help as well. If you read my threads well, I had my share of good contributions and support. I might not have met up of to her expectation. Some comment indicted I might have been weak. Maybe, but what I know is that, I am happy for the way handled the situation. It could have turned out terrible. I was hopeful things were going to change. That kept me going. You can't force a change on anyone. You can only do your part. I believe these things happens, it has happened to many people, I will not be first and the last, why fight a lost battle. I fought for my marriage the best I could. I might not have been so religious about it, but I did the best I could. I have fought many battles, I won some, I lost some. In this particular one I lost woefully. In one of the threads, someone indicated I might have cheated with another woman or even have left with another woman. I could have, I wish I did but I did not. I have the right mental strength to whistand the situation but maybe I lacks the right approach to deal with it. Its a pity our frustrations are different and problems are unique, just like the way we deal with them. I have no comment. I might not be a saint but I really do know what I want. Please I would like to make this submission my last one. Permit me to rest my case. Thank you all. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by BelieverDE: 12:08pm On May 15, 2020 |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by tunmiluabi: 12:13pm On May 15, 2020 |
Ybaby: Maybe you are right, no doubt, I might have misread the situation. But do you think with 170K she would have been able to pay the rent of 950k/year and and still pay school fees for our child? I say no. We both had mutual contributions and projection. I fulfilled my part. I never failed. I would like to say before I got married, I might not have been doing so well, but I funded the marriage with my 3years of savings. That same business might not have been doing well but it had its times. Sometimes I will bring home 10k, 20k/month, although it might take some time to bring so much but when its good 2 to 3months apart I can bring about 200k.. for 6month I may go with very little. still, I was hopeful it would be better. During her earlier salary situation was not bad, probably because we were in a 1bed apartment and the pressure was less - Also, I was providing the much I could. As indicated in my earlier lines most of my income went into doing practically everything. She contributed immnesly as well. It only got really worse when the position came. The new apartment even took a lot out of us. I agreed to the move because I felt saving for the rent might not be a difficult thing to do. Till I left the apartment we never owed. Despite quarrels, I was still able help her with the transition to the new position. The transition was such that she had to be good at at staistics and business modeling for the new marketing Insight role. I trained her in SAS, advanced excel and Power BI before I left the house. Coupled with her natural brilliance she was able to secure it. What more could I have done. If I was lazy I would not have had time for that and would normally have told her to look else where. There were times when I would walk from iponri to fadeyi and back seeking clients going form shop to shop, office to office to secure client. That is not to say I did not use public transport. There were also time when I will call friends to help as well. If you read my threads well, I had my share of good contributions and support. I might not have met up of to her expectation. Some comment indicted I might have been weak. Maybe, but what I know is that, I am happy for the way handled the situation. It could have turned out terrible. I was hopeful things were going to change. That kept me going. You can't force a change on anyone. You can only do your part. I believe these things happens, it has happened to many people, I will not be first and the last, why fight a lost battle. I fought for my marriage the best I could. I might not have been so religious about it, but I did the best I could. I have fought many battles, I won some, I lost some. In this particular one I lost woefully. In one of the threads, someone indicated I might have cheated with another woman or even have left with another woman. I could have, I wish I did but I did not. I have the right mental strength to whistand the situation but maybe I lacks the right approach to deal with it. Its a pity our frustrations are different and problems are unique, just like the way we deal with them. I have no comment. I might not be a saint but I really do know what I want. Please I would like to make this submission my last one. Permit me to rest my case. Thank you all. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by GlorifiedTunde(m): 12:15pm On May 15, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO: This is unfortunately true. I have often told those who are planning to get married that "if your would-be husband or wife sees nothing wrong in divorce or separation, run!" Such a person doesn't feel the need to "work hard" or "sacrifice" to have a good marriage. 5 Likes 3 Shares |
(1) (2) (3) ... (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) ... (43) (Reply)
Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) / I Am Forced To Marry My Own Mother, What Do I Do? / My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 121 |