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Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by lucky4west: 10:25am On May 26, 2020
this is very true and happens in mst famiies gettin pple together requires money...if u cant host them well they wont show up
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by ProfAmaben(m): 10:41am On May 26, 2020
oluplus:
Start by creating a group on whatsApp and add every concerned person. Then let the discussion start from there. Some will appreciate it while others may not. They can even pull out. Don't be discouraged. Raise your concern there and let everyone say whatever is in his/her mind.
You can then organize how you'll all meet physically
Doesn't work in some cases, ours died a natural death after months of nothing to chat about

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Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by mountmoriah(m): 10:49am On May 26, 2020
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Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by GboyegaD(m): 10:51am On May 26, 2020
Chochovini:
. POLYGAMOUS Families are the worst case scenarios for this. Talking experiencially.

Why then do some guys on here keep saying it as though polygamy is an easy task.
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Blackmoran(m): 11:51am On May 26, 2020
My only memory of my cousins was when we are still kids.. The last time I met with some of my extended family was at my cousin wedding which was so awkward, almost everyone i met I have to introduce myself .. My observation especially in Lagos we are too individualistic, and I guess everyone is carried away by the hustle we don't take time think about family...
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by dawnomike(m): 12:46pm On May 26, 2020
BButterfly:
my family as has never sat together since we were born of different mother's.
I can imagine... Even those of same mother don't sit to discuss again sef
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Effort9(m): 1:11pm On May 26, 2020
Nice topic, By God's grace i realized same thing recently and i started a whatsapp group to bring family members of the same age bracket as me together.

God loves unity
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by oluplus(m): 1:19pm On May 26, 2020
[quote author=ProfAmaben post=89973307]
Doesn't work in some cases, ours died a natural death after months of nothing to chat about[/quote
Well said- in some cases. In our own case, it works. The person that has the burden/vision should take the lead and keep the group alive and involve others.
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by amakadlite(f): 2:19pm On May 26, 2020
there is nothing humans can do about this situation. it's one of the mark of last days as profesiced in the scriptures. ''the love many Will grow cold''. I enjoyed such unity in our family when we were growing up. we cooked together, played together, visited lots of places and relations together. but now, no more.
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by atakamus: 3:27pm On May 26, 2020
Sorry. As long as women are married in that family, there wouldn't be unity.

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Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Fidelismaria: 6:24pm On May 26, 2020

extended family is fast becoming a thing of the past


delay it

Avoid it

Run from it


It will still happen






Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by vickydevoka(m): 7:06pm On May 26, 2020
klap4gbens:
The problem is that the rich ones expect the poor ones to be the ones asking after them, and the poor do not want to appear as beggers, so everyone minds his or her business.

Let the rich ask and go after the poor, then things will change.
Lol. Very right. De rich one are always expecting de call
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Chochovini: 10:20pm On May 26, 2020
GboyegaD:


Why then do some guys on here keep saying it as though polygamy is an easy task.
. SUCH People know little or nothing of what polygamy entails. Shun them.
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by kkins25(m): 3:39am On May 27, 2020
canDy4eva:



You may be right but I beg to differ. I differ in the sense that most parents get it all wrong and are making it look like the theories invented by human can go a long way in telling how we live our lives. A theory would work on you when you throw away CORE VALUES! Values that has been from the foundation of the earth and originated by GOD HIMSELF!

Until we accept individually that family is more important than even making money, we would be making a very big mistake.

Personally I love my family and no matter where I am and live I ensure I get connected with them and same goes to others.

The truth is that the invent of the internet, phones and social media has been abused rather than been used to bond families no mater the difference and distances between.

My uncle's second son created a family WhatsApp group and it's been of great help. All my siblings and cousins are in it. We check on each other almost every day. We post pictures of our kids, birthdays, weddings, events etc and it's been great.

My siblings and I also created our own different WhatsApp group that includes our Dad and Mom and we chat everyday, post different activities of the day and it's been great too. My mum prays for us there, my dad advices us there and a whole lot.


In my family we believe family is ALL and it's been beautiful even though we all live in different part of the world.

And again, we call each other almost all the time via audio or video. My kids know most of my cousins not to mention my siblings even though they've never meet just because we call and video call each other

MY FAMILY ROCKS.

It's been a generational thing and will also pass it down to my kids and grandkids by God's grace
What do you do if you have a family like mine who are waiting for you to call them Always. When u dont hear from dem for months nd u decide to check on them, they tell u "whu dont you call" ..
I stoped calling dem self. I cant kum nd kee myself

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Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by canDy4eva(f): 4:17am On May 27, 2020
kkins25:

What do you do if you have a family like mine who are waiting for you to call them Always. When u dont hear from dem for months nd u decide to check on them, they tell u "whu dont you call" ..
I stoped calling dem self. I cant kum nd kee myself


Keep keeping on...

Nothing good comes easy you know.

Have you tried praying for them?

Connecting spiritually makes the physical much easier.
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Nobody: 5:34pm On May 27, 2020
My family and other relatives only calls when there is a major National Event (Public Holiday) to ask for money to celebrate.

There was one very annoying moment when they called for Christmas Celebrations - we sent Foodstuff and a total of N1.2 Million for a "Family Christmas" as soon as it was New Year just days after, they called for New Year Celebrations as well shocked shocked shocked why are extended families so wicked. both December/January are hard times when Landlords are looking for rent and you squander N1.2 on Christmas and expect a similar amount for new year. If you are blessed with sensible extended families and siblings then you are truly blessed - mine are just dangerous parasites who don't care for the fact that they will be affected should you die from their numerous irresponsible requests for money, job and help.

If you get a call it is either to greet you and soften you up for the real call 30 minutes later - Lost Job because of their own irresponsibility, Pregnant for an illiterate Marlian, Police-case, Stolen Laptop or phone that needs replacing, house rent etc

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Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by armyofone(m): 7:26pm On May 27, 2020
grin grin grin grin grin

Couldn't help but laugh @ post. Now try and bring all of them together abd see how it all goes downhill because of money!

LaEvilIMiss:
My family and other relatives only calls when there is a major National Event (Public Holiday) to ask for money to celebrate.

There was one very annoying moment when they called for Christmas Celebrations - we sent Foodstuff and a total of N1.2 Million for a "Family Christmas" as soon as it was New Year just days after, they called for New Year Celebrations as well shocked shocked shocked why are extended families so wicked. both December/January are hard times when Landlords are looking for rent and you squander N1.2 on Christmas and expect a similar amount for new year. If you are blessed with sensible extended families and siblings then you are truly blessed - mine are just dangerous parasites who don't care for the fact that they will be affected should you die from their numerous irresponsible requests for money, job and help.

If you get a call it is either to greet you and soften you up for the real call 30 minutes later - Lost Job because of their own irresponsibility, Pregnant for an illiterate Marlian, Police-case, Stolen Laptop or phone that needs replacing, house rent etc
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by PowerOfLove: 4:18pm On May 31, 2020
LaEvilIMiss:
My family and other relatives only calls when there is a major National Event (Public Holiday) to ask for money to celebrate.

There was one very annoying moment when they called for Christmas Celebrations - we sent Foodstuff and a total of N1.2 Million for a "Family Christmas" as soon as it was New Year just days after, they called for New Year Celebrations as well shocked shocked shocked why are extended families so wicked. both December/January are hard times when Landlords are looking for rent and you squander N1.2 on Christmas and expect a similar amount for new year. If you are blessed with sensible extended families and siblings then you are truly blessed - mine are just dangerous parasites who don't care for the fact that they will be affected should you die from their numerous irresponsible requests for money, job and help.

If you get a call it is either to greet you and soften you up for the real call 30 minutes later - Lost Job because of their own irresponsibility, Pregnant for an illiterate Marlian, Police-case, Stolen Laptop or phone that needs replacing, house rent etc

Lol. But why would you send such a huge amount just for Christmas celebration? 1.2m? I mean that was much. Was it a national or statewide event?
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Nobody: 6:04pm On May 31, 2020
PowerOfLove:


Lol. But why would you send such a huge amount just for Christmas celebration? 1.2m? I mean that was much. Was it a national or statewide event?

We make measured savings/contribution each month in addition to sending money for upkeep, fuel, gas, internet, dstv etc so that at the end of the year - we can deliver a solid contribution and hope that those who have plans can either start a small trade - instead, it is used for showing off to neighbors and preparing food for others to come and eat.. angry
Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by DADDY2or3FISHES: 7:45pm On May 31, 2020
LaEvilIMiss:


We make measured savings/contribution each month in addition to sending money for upkeep, fuel, gas, internet, dstv etc so that at the end of the year - we can deliver a solid contribution and hope that those who have plans can either start a small trade - instead, it is used for showing off to neighbors and preparing food for others to come and eat.. angry
this sounds really sensible

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Families So Divided And What Can I Do To Unite Mine? by Nobody: 7:46pm On May 31, 2020
PowerOfLove:
So I was thinking about my family extensively and how we are not united at all. I can remember one person in the family that used to call for family meeting and get together every year. The man died almost 20yrs ago when I was still growing up and since then, there's no time again members of the family have all gathered to meet, greet and chart the way forward concerning the family extensively. May be he was able to achieve that because he was rich and respected.

Now, the only time we meet is if there's a burial, a ceremony or any gathering that would force people to attend and in most cases, the married ones don't come with their kids. I mean this is a very bad pace set for the new generation we are breeding today.

My two kids (3rd is 3 months old), outside my sister and her kids whom we are staying in the same city, my kids have not been able to meet other kids from my nephew and nieces and relatives generally and familiarize with them. This is giving me reasons to worry about as my kids may see their cousins on the road tomorrow and pass without knowing they are cousins. In worst case, what if in the future they meet and happen to be in a relationship without knowing they are related? Nollywood movie. Lol.

However, I'm thinking on how I can reunite the family such that once in a while, members of the family will come with their kids and we all gather, meet ourselves, greet and familiarize with each other but how to go about is what I lack exact knowledge on.

Any suggestions will be appreciated. Meanwhile, is this kind of disunity also happening in your family? How often do you guys meet yourselves in your extended family? Share your experiences.


Craps as usual

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