nitrogen:
Lol, there are several cases. Some Naija men are suffering in Canada, not a joke.

eolutosin:
If you are looking to migrate to Canada soon or new to Canada, you should visit https://africaextended.com/category/things-that-matter/immigration-hub/, You can bookmark the URL and sign up to receive update of new article.

einsteino:


I am a realist, so I understand your fears. I still feel it depends on who you married and how well you think you know her. For those yet to marry, I usually say get a prenup if you can and then hope you never use it. As for the career, I would take a look.[/b]
T

Naijaforeigner:


May your wisdom never run dry. You are the only one addressing this issue from a balanced view.

As per the bolded, I am a realist as well. I am definitely getting one before I get married (that's if I get married). I ain't playing myself.

Lajiniran, stop responding to everyone. You don't owe people explanations. Get the information you need and move on. One love.

Mizdiplomat:
Good day everyone
Please anyone with information on any charter flights or whatsapp group that can be joined, please kindly share here.
Please it’s urgent
Copr is about to expire

Dyolahh:
A one bedroom, one bathroom is available in a Two bedroom, two bath apartment in Somervale Court, SW, Calgary. Will be available ending of July as the individual is relocating to Ontario. It is furnished with mattress and dressing table. This room is the master bedroom, bathroom in suite. The apartment has washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, microwave, oven, medium sized refrigerator etc. It has a balcony where you can have barbecue with few friends( lovely view). It is 5 minutes walk to the train station with over 15 bus route. 5 minutes walk to the Library, banks, YMCA, walmart, best buy, sport check, tim hortons and a whole lot of stores. Has all utilities included( Hydro, electricity and heat) internet not included. $697.5 per month. Single Female is preferred.

einsteino:


That reminds me, if your lady ever assaults you, don't fool yourself to think that the manly thing to do is to tolerate, report it while you still can, it would cover your ass if there is ever litigation. During my work as a Concierge, I have escorted police on several occasions to apartments over calls bothering on domestic issues between couples. All it takes for police to get involved here is a quarell(no violence), inshort the lady needn't call. If the neighbours can hear loud voices, then y'all might just find the police at your door.

ednut1:
someone once said once a man begins to fear he actually believes it may happen. Fear not if you are a good person your self. .

capsule:


Some women are really gaming the system big time, they get into marriage with the sole aim of a divorce later on. Even after a costly divorce, they demand for all sort of settlement just to keep the man in penury. Some are intentional so the man will not even be able to afford a date night with another woman, yet they always have a new guy in the house paid/still being paid for by the ex.

One man I know who just retired lost His house to the wife, now staying with the brother.

Please if you're still dating,watch out for abusive behaviors/words, and leave if/while you can, don't ever use 'but She/He loves me ' line to tolerate unacceptable behavior.

I don't even think that marriage is a requirement to make Heaven, Valhalla or inherit the earth (as it applies to you).

Linsigne:
Please after all that happening now, covid 19 issues and unemployment rate in cad, Do u think its ideal to still process ur express entry, work permit, study permit, etc

einsteino:


I am a realist, so I understand your fears. I still feel it depends on who you married and how well you think you know her. For those yet to marry, I usually say get a prenup if you can and then hope you never use it. As for the career, I would take a look.

That was a lot of mentions though, I get everyone's point. I wouldn't speak disrespectfully of a spouse on a public forum, but maybe we should cut him some slack. Things happen here and even to good people, so it is natural to be afraid. Those of you who are on the whatsapp group might remember the guy who was hushed by the ladies on the group when he said he couldn't understand why his wife was unwilling to split bills with him. His point was that in Naija, he never for once needed his wife's financial input in running the home because he earned several folds more than her but on getting to Canada, he isn't making a killing like he was in Naija and their income is now about the same. Mind you, the way things are set up here, it is very difficult to run a home on a single income. I thought it was reasonable for him to not only expect but demand that she takes some financial responsibility but to my surprise, a good number of the ladies on the group went on to say stuff like any man who makes such demands is simply not man enough. That shows that it is unrealistic to assume that every Nigerian lady out there would not begrudge you if she has to run the home. I laugh when our women argue that men are the head of the home so they have to foot the bills. Fact is men are not in anyway head of the home here, we are at best ceremonial heads because if ever the police or courts gets involved, the woman is lord.


Cae in point, a month ago, I had to house a friend who got kicked out of his home by the police. Oh yes! the sort of things we often assume is only to be heard not experienced. His girlfriend(they are civil partners) called the cops when they had an argument. Mind you he didn't assault her, inshort she is the one who has a history of assaulting him. That reminds me, if your lady ever assaults you, don't fool yourself to think that the manly thing to do is to tolerate, report it while you still can, it would cover your ass if there is ever litigation. During my work as a Concierge, I have escorted police on several occasions to apartments over calls bothering on domestic issues between couples. All it takes for police to get involved here is a quarell(no violence), inshort the lady needn't call. If the neighbours can hear loud voices, then y'all might just find the police at your door while at it. While I don't know the cause of these quarells, I get the sense that you not only have to be a good husband but you also must be married to a good wife if you are not to regret your marriage here(This is the case even in Nigeria, only that there is more to lose here).

Many of our men are autocratic and that simply can not work here. Some of our women do not understand that they too have to change. Some of our women have the weirdest expectations from a man, one that I hardly see from women of other nationalities. Equality must also extend to responsibilities. Though as with most things, a couple can not be dictated to as to what framework or rules to adopt in running their home. The key is that whatever framework you adopt, it has to suit you both and fair to each other's preference for peace to reign. If you are yet to marry, great! Consider your dates as interviews, especially if you close your options against non-nigerians. If you don't want a lady that is unwilling to split bills, ex them, if you don't want a man that chants be submissive, ex them.

There are many happy marriages here, like the one of my friend that I said his wife had his back for years until he found a reasonably paying job. And I sense that many of the men here dragging the OP also have relatively happy homes. However, to pretend that the risks for men doesn't increase when you settle here, is just being plain naive. Especially since we know that what holds many marriages in Nigeria together is just kids, the way divorce is viewed back home, along with the numerous relatives and clergy that would wade in.

All I can say is that as you plan on learning Canadian workplace culture and all you need to settle in Canada, couples should also plan on making changes that would foster peace and love in their home. Talk things over with your spouse, if there was bad blood or resentment, iron it out and be seen to make ammends. You would find that you would spend most of your spare time at home here, all the beer and bar time that served as escape from your home ceases the moment you get on board that flight. Nobody dey beg couples to stay together here, if una wan fight, police dey more than happy to arrest. If una dey form una no wan do again, lawyers no go school just because of passion, dem wan chop. So use your head, protect your homes because the system is set up to help you do otherwise. Your spouse should be your partner, not your competition.

ednut1:
my airbnb host works with the family court. Said many of the cases with them are Nigerians and Indians. Asked me to be careful who i date or marry. Said even tho some Nigerian men get am for body no one deserves the kind of things some women put them through here. Some men are paying spouse support, child support and yet cant see the kids as they please. She advice me not to see marriage as we see it in Nigeria. Say no be by force. Coming from a married woman o

ednut1:
my airbnb host works with the family court. Said many of the cases with them are Nigerians and Indians. Asked me to be careful who i date or marry. Said even tho some Nigerian men get am for body no one deserves the kind of things some women put them through here. Some men are paying spouse support, child support and yet cant see the kids as they please. She advice me not to see marriage as we see it in Nigeria. Say no be by force. Coming from a married woman o

19CannyMum:


Oga, please give me real life example lol.

ednut1:
finally home. Lagos to Lome to Addis Ababa to Dublin to Canada.

mamatwiny:


Babe, I am a female. I don't know for Canada but in Nigeria, I have friends who don't want to work. Their own is to go for school run, go to gym, rub cream and apply make up. They are very good cooks but won't want to do any business in that line. They are fufilled being house wives. I also had some male friends in school who had ambition of marrying complete house wives.

These fears are real!

ednut1:
my airbnb host works with the family court. Said many of the cases with them are Nigerians and Indians. Asked me to be careful who i date or marry. Said even tho some Nigerian men get am for body no one deserves the kind of things some women put them through here. Some men are paying spouse support, child support and yet cant see the kids as they please. She advice me not to see marriage as we see it in Nigeria. Say no be by force. Coming from a married woman o

ednut1:
my airbnb host works with the family court. Said many of the cases with them are Nigerians and Indians. Asked me to be careful who i date or marry. Said even tho some Nigerian men get am for body no one deserves the kind of things some women put them through here. Some men are paying spouse support, child support and yet cant see the kids as they please. She advice me not to see marriage as we see it in Nigeria. Say no be by force. Coming from a married woman o

Richdee1:


Please is host like landlord in Nigeria?? kus I'm not understanding
and please help us with small pictures in Living in Canada thread make we salivate

mamatwiny:


Babe, I am a female. I don't know for Canada but in Nigeria, I have friends who don't want to work. Their own is to go for school run, go to gym, rub cream and apply make up. They are very good cooks but won't want to do any business in that line. They are fufilled being house wives. I also had some male friends in school who had ambition of marrying complete house wives. Just take care of the house. One of them is married for over 10 years now and it is just this year that he is considering letting his wife work due to that the agency he works is shaking and govt plans to stop allocation to their office.
So you see he is not completely wrong.

I understand the guy's fears. There is even an issue we are settling now, hubby is 20yrs older than the wife but based in Yankee, brought her to Yankee and trained her in nursing. Guy did not improve himself and continued with his blue collar job, now the girls family is doing everything to make sure she divorces her hubby cos they believe she brings in all the money doing 3 jobs.
Some may even go diabolical to achieve this.

These fears are real!

sweetrie:
You can only do housewife in Canada if hubby is earning very well/you are still schooling or it just makes better financial sense if you have small kids who haven't started kindergarten.
If course we know things are happening, and definitely there are bad wives/husbands but a good man should not fear. No lady would wake up and without provocation want to start struggling as a single mom, it's not easy.
I know a couple, the lady was a housewife in Nigeria, hubby was earning well, she COMPLETELY TRUSTED him. On getting to Canada, madam wanted to use his laptop to apply for jobs, only to discover things, he was cheating. Unfortunately madam was pregnant, that was the only thing that kept her there, when she finds her feet and leaves him, people will say women have started, forgetting the hurt and betrayal.
Not everything is white and black. A good person has nothing to fear. Marriages are still working out well in the 'abroad'

19CannyMum:


Hahaha that's another thing that happens here. Women don't have to 'manage' cheating or fold their arms and be praying about it.