crackhaus:
Lol, this thread though...

Understanding the psychology of human behaviour can be quite thrilling.

Just imagine if the OP's post went something like this instead:



Now I wonder what the advice would have been in this case.

The same people who would usually claim that marriage does not bestow any special privileges, is not important, and isn't an achievement, are somehow usually the same people who would subconsciously rate the position of a wife to be more important than that of a girlfriend.

I guess in fact then, that until one is married, they must not take their relationship too serious because there's no legitimacy to it. You should only take a woman serious after you have married her, never before.

No offence to the unmarried people who will probably take this personal... ahh no fück that, the pun was intended.

My point exactly!
P. S. I couldn't get the things I said to you out of my mind. I apologize.

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend threatening to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.


cc: lalasticlala
cc: seun

You are the type of man that we will turn their back against friends and family when they marry.
Your stupidity is on the highest level.... Someone invested in your business without asking for anything in return even when you broke up with her. Bleep you and your fucking money... God will play his part for your ex family.



Fucking ingrate

emmyN:


This your small mouth, cho cho cho. You will not sit down one place before they doing you

i have already choose a sane part on nairaland ,if not i would have answered you rudely or abusively.....

Saintmary:

My point exactly!

P. S. I couldn't get the things I said to you out of my mind. I apologize.

Lol, what things? I can't recall having any tiff with this username, but apology accepted.

I also apologize if I may have triggered you somehow into saying those things, whatever they may be... I know I can trigger

@Op, leave relationship apart, ur Ex is sm1 u are unconsciously indebted 2. U don't even need a rethink b4 helping her family out on her request. It's not like u guys parted ways on a bad note, she's just d type dat wanted d best 4 u nd her family, hence, sacrificing herself in such course.

4rm ur narration, she is not d dependent kind, but a loyal nd sensitive Lady. Helping her family out is just d little u cud do 2 appreciate her love nd loyalty.

She myt av gone ahead 2 her suppose place as against ur wish, but still, she only felt it's d right tin 2 do nd did so obviously 4 u nd her family.

D present gf is just dia 4 d moment, plus she is a selfish nd insensitive individual, she even had d gut 2 threaten u wif breakup just cos u wanna do smtin right, dat alone tells d kind of Lady she is, if I was 2 be u, I wud thread carefully wif such Lady.

U suppose not even discuss it wif her in d 1st place had it been u know her 2 be sm1 of myopic interest.

If u r still nursing d phobia of losing her (ur present gf), help ur Ex family out without letting her know, it's not like she is monitoring or in charge of ur financial statement 2 find out, but if u gut d balls which is expected 4rm u as a man, do it nd let her know, den leave her 2 carry out her threat.

My one cent!

You are what they call a p*ssy nigg*r. what business do you have telling your current gf? you can't keep a little secret, you just opened your mouth and be spilling like tap. that your current gf is a hoee. a girl that gave you money to grow your business, you want to abandon her family at this crucial time of need. if you don't help her, watch how your business will crumble like a pack of cards while this your current gold digger of a gf abandons you for another man. anumanu

crackhaus:

Lol, my subsequent comment to the OP about how he could handle the matter, should explain the previous one you refused to understand – I was simply using the former to build up to the orgasm in the latter.

And you just had to include a sexual angle. Oniranu.

crackhaus:

Lol, what things? I can't recall having any tiff with this username, but apology accepted.

I also apologize if I may have triggered you somehow into saying those things, whatever they may be... I know I can trigger

Cool

Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

She's not your wife to tell you what to do

In fact I would say you dont even deserve your ex because you are soooo selfish. Making choices so that you wont personally lose, imagine that

The reason why she travelled was to help her family
The reason she GAVE you money was to help you


Your ex needs a rain check on the people in her life - she is ever willing to make sacrifices but none are willing to do the same for her

if your pocket carry am na....
even if dem good or bad.....
help dem if ur pocket carry am

Your current girlfriend is mad. If you are down today, does she has anyway to help you out.

You ex gave you money to booster your business and you are here asking if you could help her family.

My friend, don't think twice,go and help her family. If the current wants to leave, let her leave.

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend threatening to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.

You should be responsible for further action. You are to choose yourself. You should try as much as you can to be responsible for all.your actions here because you started it. The choice is yours because no one here will follow you bare the consequences whether favourably or not.

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend threatening to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.

my guy let your new babe go to hell. You have a lot to do for your ex. I mean you owe her a lot, so better do the right thing and help her family.

madridguy:
Firstly, that your current GF no be better woman, if you continue seeing her, she go drive away every of love ones.

Secondly, help your ex family with immediate effect.

Thank you. Op, did you read this. Follow the advice.

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend threatening to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.

You guys would just come here to seek opinions on what you already have an answer to.

I don't understand why people still get themselves roped into situation like this.

Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

Oga, so your idea of assisting was a just a ploy to get her back? Must she be your babe? This is someone that helped you in the past despite you being a dickhead in the way of her anticipated success and here you are asking for a permission to help her. Did she come on Nairaland before helping you? Do you even need to ask this question? It's unfortunate you lost such a kind supportive woman for this your current.... woman (let me no insult someone I don't know). You know the right thing, do it!

Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

tell your ex to come back and you guys start a family. A lady that made sacrifices for you is all you need. You don't need a gold digger.

Nonsense. Tell ur GF.. na another’s girl money u take toast her and keep her. Must u tell everything to ur current GF??

Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

Oga abeg no waste pple time go help ha family jor, we call that return of favour! Next headline.

Help her

Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

Go and assist them and not even with small money my friend.

Fam LEAVE YOUR CURRENT GIRLFRIEND!

Away from whatever happened between you and your ex, a lady that has no sense of empathy would probably dump you should things go haywire. Even if she stays by you, she'd make life unbearable for you.

It might be hard, but the consequences of not leaving her would be harder.

Please ENSURE YOU HELP YOUR EX - they say one good turn deserves another... they've been there for you when you had it tough... tides are against you now, and you wanna ignore them because of a girl who isn't empathetic.


It would make sense to reach out to your ex to see if you could reconcile and make things up

Don't be weary in doing good for we shall reap it if we faint not. It is important you help whoever you want to help regardless of the relationship you are having with such person.

You aren't helping because she once helped you or because she is your Ex. You are helping because you see the need to help. Just do the needful

Do that which will make you have clear conscience. If assisting will clear your conscience and make you happy, please do not hesitate to assist. This is particularly so, where you are able to assist. If you think not assisting someone in need will clear your conscience, well, don't assist. But you note I said "someone in need". But going by what you have written, I think you are able to assist and your assistance will keep your mind at peace.

GboyegaD:
What I don't understand is why you needed the new lady's permission.

as in.. Idiot wey he never marry come dey give am terms ... The temerity! The op is just an annoying simp

Mehn I'm really bothered as to the kind of person you are.

Did you back the money she gave you ?

Did you forget in a hurry that she pleaded that you help talk care of her family obviously knowing that it may take a while before she picks herself up.
Do you need to ask opinions before doing a good for someone else and why ?

ExBanker:


Why is it difficult for girls to returnall the money their ex spent on them after breakup?

Back to op, the girl gave you money which you tagged "a bit huge" to support your business. You don't need anyone to tell you the right thing to do. Oga help her family. If i may ask, what has this your new girl friend contributed to your life that she will tell you not to help someone who contributed to your life?

Yout first question is completely unnecessary. OP's ex was never asking him to return any amount she spent in the relationship. The person you quoted wasn't suggesting that either. She only bursted out cause OP's apparent heartlessness.

Ishilove:

And you just had to include a sexual angle. Oniranu.

I honestly don't know what you're talking about, that's a figure of speech as far as I was concerned.

Is ur new gf managing ur finances that she will know whenever u are spending ur money? After all it's ur money.
U have to help ur ex's family.

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend threatening to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.

I will advice you to dish that your current evil girlfriend and go back to your ex. That is your real wife that can stand by you when you are down. That is your soul mate, that is the bone if your bone. Don't say I didn't tell you before you make big mistake.