Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

What is the reason she hates her first of all?

This is very important before we can rate it as tangible/intangible.

crackhaus:
What is the reason she hates her first of all?

This is very important before we can rate it as tangible/intangible.

She hates because she was not allowed to control their home. A friend of mine is in that situation now.

olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

what God has joined together, let no man (not even the mother) put asunder.

If that was the way the mother’s mother-in-law had acted to dominate the son’s home, would she have lived/stayed to enjoy her husband?

A man should be able to grow up and get the balls to put everyone in her place. The mother should know her place and maintain her lane, same as the wife. With none disturbing each other.

This is African culture and we are always attached to our background. Neverthless, the mother should leave the son to enjoy his wife like she enjoyed her husband

Amotolongbo:
what God has joined together, let no man (not even the mother) put asunder.

If that was the way your mother’s mother-in-law had had acted to dominate the son’s home, would she have lived/stayed to enjoy your father?

A man should be able to grow up and get the balls to put everyone in her place. The mother should know her place and maintain her lane, same as the wife. With none disturbing each other.

This is African culture and we are always attached to our background. Neverthless, the mother should leave the son to enjoy his wife like she enjoyed her husband

Good point there. Thanks

The man must be wise to handle his mum wella in this situation,the wife can't do much......

olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

Sit your mother down (heart to heart) and make her admit the REAL reason why she hates your wife... then you can conclude whether it's a "tangible" reason or not.

You won't marry your mom.

olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

Help Mama to get a life, or some distraction.

She may be a witch and your spiritual wife this is why she is jealous of your wife

There's a reason for that
Kindly ask her why

Jesslove:
She may be a witch and your spiritual wife this is why she is jealous of your wife

How can she be a witch, a spiritual wife and his mother all at the same time?

even for bible them talk say man shall leave thy father and mother's house to form a new family
so if my mama do anyhow i go put her for d position wey she belong cuz as long me and my wife dey go d right direction,she can't break my family for her own selfish interest

olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

She doesnt have anything left to do

probably lived say its for my kids, now kids are adults she cant control so shes pouring all her energy towards a wife she has no connection to.

Move location and define your boundaries

She can't just decide to hate her for no reason or without provocation.

If it is just because she isn't given the chance to control the home, then she has to try to keep that hatred to herself. Not every wife will sit back and allow their MIL come and run their homes.

ImaIma1:
She can't just decide to hate her for no reason or without provocation.

If it is just because she isn't given the chance to control the home, then she has to try to keep that hatred to herself. Not every wife will sit back and allow their MIL come and run their homes.

Hmmmm!!!! you mean you have never come across someone that dislikes another person without a reason......?

Richy4:


Hmmmm!!!! you mean you have never come across someone that dislikes another person without a reason......?

Well...there might be a flimsy underlying reason that she cannot mention. She might feel like the wife is getting the attention she used to get or that her son is spending on the wife more, etc.

That's why I said she just can't hate for no reason. No one can just wake up and hate another person without reason. Something has to be involved.

ImaIma1:


Well...there might be a flimsy underlying reason that she cannot mention. She might feel like the wife is getting the attention she used to get or that her son is spending on the wife more, etc.

That's why I said she just can't hate for no reason. No one can just wake up and hate another person without reason. Something has to be involved.

To be honest I have seen a friend that saw someone for the first time and disliked the person... when questioned about why she disliked the person, she couldn't just give one reason.... It could be that the mother in law was not feeling her 'vibe' at all right from the beginning...

Richy4:


To be honest I have seen a friend that saw someone for the first time and disliked the person... when questioned about why she disliked the person, she couldn't just give one reason.... It could be that the mother in law was not feeling her 'vibe' at all right from the beginning...

I understand your point. But hate is a strong emotion. You can meet someone for the first time and have a bad feeling about the person or just feel strange around the person.

However, to just hate someone for no reason, I don't believe that is possible.

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olawalepopoola:

She hates because she was not allowed to control their home. A friend of mine is in that situation now.

Lol, this comes off like what a wife would say when she is asked to explain the animosity between herself and her mother-in-law.

It is usually much deeper than this.

Your friend should find out the exact reason, that's if he/she can be bothered.

olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

Ha just like my husband aunts,they hated me only because for once my lovely husband went against their wish and married me,they got scared of the whole situation and kept hating me,nothing seem to please them,anyway them done tire, i don tire we are cool.

It happens o...
There are mothers-in-law who want to be onto everything that happens in their sons houses. From the kinds of foods they should eat, to how the wife should sweep and mop, to when the wife should talk with the husband, to how to arrange the house, to...almost everything. Pray, your sisters don't experience such.

crackhaus:

Lol, this comes off like what a wife would say when she is asked to explain the animosity between herself and her mother-in-law.

It is usually much deeper than this.

Your friend should find out the exact reason, that's if he/she can be bothered.

Theres nothin u can do about it...buh wisdom is profitable

I guess the man has no business getting married if he cannot make the mother understand she has a choice of loving and accepting his wife or letting him be.

olawalepopoola:

She hates because she was not allowed to control their home. A friend of mine is in that situation now.

This is what all women say until they become mother-in-laws themselves.

Unfortunately this a cycle, most of these mother-in -law were also "hated" by their own mother-in -law who did cause strains in their own marriages. For some of them who still hang on that pain and trauma, sees a means of displacement of repressed negative emotions when their own sons get married.

Some of those wives complaining today are likely to repeat what they experienced with their mother-in -law when their own sons get married.

It takes intentional change to break that unhealthy cycle.

Karleb:



This is what all women say until they become mother-in-laws themselves.

Lol...
Understandably, anyone who says that is obviously not a mother-in-law to anyone yet – that's the perspective of a wife/future wife.

I'm pretty certain that if we ask those MILs who don't get along with their DILs, they will all have some distinct reasons to give.

The OP ought to find out from the MIL involved to know what the issue is. Only after hearing her own complaints and then deciding if it's tangible/intangible, can any headway be made.

Richy4:


To be honest I have seen a friend that saw someone for the first time and disliked the person... when questioned about why she disliked the person, she couldn't just give one reason.... It could be that the mother in law was not feeling her 'vibe' at all right from the beginning...

Then there is a reason,,,there must b a reason

crackhaus:

Lol...
Understandably, anyone who says that is obviously not a mother-in-law to anyone yet – that's the perspective of a wife/future wife.

I'm pretty certain that if we ask those MILs who don't get along with their DILs, they will all have some distinct reasons to give.

The OP ought to find out from the MIL involved to know what the issue is. Only after hearing her own complaints and then deciding if it's tangible/intangible, can any headway be made.

Always lookin 4 comments 2 jump upon & change narrative. Is ur mother also like that? Sorry, I just remembrd ure 4rm a family of career women who managed the family well