Marry her if you feel she is cool the only prayer you should be praying is she should remain a good wife to you after marriage. Who good don good, who nor good nor good!

op.ppl must meet people somehow...

That ur uncles introduced her doesn't mean its a bad set up......

Intact.the best gal I ever met was wen I went to buy recharge card....

So if sh is cool..y not?

toprealman:

Enemy of progress.

Yes, that's one of them.

I hope you don't go through what the Ghanaian pastor is going through in America. ask yourself do you really love her? or you are just considering the better living? I think their lies your answer.

YOU ARE VERY STUPID TO EVEN ASK US THIS DIRTY QUESTION.

Yankee101:


A graduate from medical school is a doctor. Not all even go to residency. Some go straight to other non clinical jobs. He told you he's still in medical school and about to graduate, who will pay him 120k?

Google medical residents salaries. The average is 60k plus. Lower scale is 50k plus. After 3 to 5 years of training b4 they can smell 120k

I don't know about anywhere else but in the USA if you have not completed your residency you can't practice as a doctor, the board won't even certify you and without board certification your medical degree is useless.

You have an interesting story and I will table a few action plans for you.

1. Take a trip to USA or let her come down to Nigeria for a short trip - You will understand each other's mannerisms and perspective to life better with a short trip.

2. You are both in the age where everyone believes you should be married or popping out babies so there is a tendency for people to link you up so that your sole focus is planning a life together- DO NOT fall for this. You have to get to know each other without the bias of settling together (tough call).

3. Does she have a student loan and how much? This is the kind of financial burden you may have to bear.

4. Who else knows her apart from the people that introduced her. What are her facebook posts/Instagram/Twitter/Whatsapp stories and shares like. You can easily build up a profile based on this.

5. Where do you guys plan to settle if this pans out well. It is incredibly hard to just "move from Nigeria" and start practising medicine in the USA. I have several Nigerians as family friends who have not been able to get into the Medical System in USA after finishing Medicine in OAU and postgrad in USA. You have tons of difficult exams to write and a very competitive application process that puts people who schooled abroad ahead of you. It is still easier to get into the UK system by writing IELTS, Plab1 and Plab2 in that order.

Like several people have said, you are both coming from different backgrounds and have probably imbibed different idealogies and perspective about life. Marrying across the pond is a very big gamble irrespective of race. You therefore have to carry out a lot of due diligence. Marriage itself is a gamble but there are so many obvious things you can iron out before you decide on settling with a partner

I wish you all the best bro.

gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .

Is the Op getting married to be able to control her?

abbey621:


I don't know about anywhere else but in the USA if you have not completed your residency you can't practice as a doctor, the board won't even certify you and without board certification your medical degree is useless.

An MD is a medical degree. See my last post. Not all doctors practice in clinical settings. There are epidemiology jobs, data managers, others branch to do masters in HMO courses to manage hospitals etc

A resident is also a doctor in training and is referred to as an intern in yr 1 and resident in subsequent years. They are called doctors in the hospital, assigned doctor functions,, paged as doctors in emergencies.. Facts are not subject to your opinion

pansophist:
1. Make sure she chooses you. Arranged marriage works well when the lady in particular finds the man attractive and naturally wants to be with him. Men generally can be with a woman that they do not love, especially if she is a good person, I can not say the same for women. So I repeat, make sure that she chooses you and truly want to be with you. By choosing you, I do not necessarily mean meeting you herself and not through arrangement (that is just a vehicle to meet each other), but that she finds you attractive, adorable, and respectable.

2. Do not go have a relationship with her because of the prospect of green card. You NEED to find her as a good partner genuinely. and the prospect of living in the US will just be an addition, to make your marital life prosperous.

3. Be conscious of the power dynamic in your relationship. Traditionally, it is the woman that integrates into the lifestyle of a man, not otherwise. She is the one adopting your surname, moving to you, being impregnated by you, and submitting (not to be understood as tyranny/subordination) to you. Make sure you have something going for yourself, and green-card is not something that will be that attractive, or at least have self-respect to not make it influence such a lifelong decision. Moving to live with her in the US, getting your papers through her, being economically handicapped while she simultaneously assume the role of the torch bearer is not a recipe for a good start. Only truly good women will take that role and not look down on you. You know her better, so don't take this as an express advice.

4. Most importantly, make sure she is not settling for, but chooses you out of all her options. A question I would ask myself would be why she can not find a man in the US, a country with a population of about x2 of Nigeria. Why go through the stress of long distance relationship with you and considering marriage when she haven't even met you? It is important you know that in every deregulated relationship (meaning a lady freely making romantic decisions without social/cultural pressure), it is the woman that chooses the man, not otherwise. You may argue that you asked her out firstly, but her acceptance is mere confirmation of having choosing you out of all her suitors. Your words/toasting skills didn't do the job, but the kind of man you have made yourself to be.

Tell her to consider the prospect of visiting you in Nigeria, and explore the possibility of living in Nigeria and lead your family life there, then in the nearest future, you may both move abroad when you are convinced about the kind of woman she is. Don't just uproot your life and move to her to the US, leaving you vulnerable and dependent on her, in a feminized society. personally I would never do that. After all, Nigeria is her country as well. I am advising you as someone that lives abroad, and have seen how lots of relationship crashed because of not having proper planning and jumping to marry anyone because of the chance to move abroad.

Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry her genuinely, pay attention to the above advice. But if you want to marry her to move abroad, I can guarantee you that she probably will be that smart to see your intention and rain hell on you, and it would be better you just remain in Nigeria and live your life peacefully, than be at the mercy of an estranged wife in a foreign, feminized society. Good luck.

Kai... Oil deh your head. I have been waiting for your comment on this issue.

An environment doesn't inherently change someone's ethical leanings. I wager more than 99.5% the people who've given you advice are either subjects of their host countries or haven't crossed the shores of Nigeria. Know thyself and make sure you're going into equity with clean hands - if real marriage is your target with her - then hack her mind and know her true character. If her ethical leanings align towards conscientiousness, marry her, provided that you're ready to stay conscientious.

Don't base your interest in her on material things or what you intend to gain from her; rather, base it on your continual ability to cheerfully maintain and sustain her core interest in you, because that's the surest way to have a wife who'll move mountains for you.

Meanwhile, discard her if you observe any trace of self-absorption in her, even if she doesn't mete out such against you at the moment, because she'll definitely do in the near future, unless you derive pleasure in servility. Don't mortgage your liberty because of paper, because you can easily get one at a cheaper rate with your liberty intact.

Crispels:


Nigerian girls in the US are culturally different from Akata. Their worldviews and upbringing are different as well.

https://www.nairaland.com/5953751/dating-nigerian-american-girls-united-states

My brother, if you like, go marry akata.
Go ask Nigerians wey marry Nigerian babes born there how far?
One morning she go wake up begin shout Black lives mata for your head.

Dem no dey tell person.

I always laugh at these usual closed minded Comments from people that have never traveled outside of their state let alone to another country.
A women is a women, with exceptions. Nigerian women are most likely to fake love because they see that you
Can benefit them in some way and American women will most likely be more independent, so if you are an insecure man who wants to always have 100% control over someone, look elsewhere. Nowadays a marriage is a partnership not a Nigerian dictatorship

daddymummy:
The advantage is that they do not reason like Nigerian girls.

They do not wait for a man to initiate everything like relationship etc.

They know what they want in life.

They are not like Nigerian girls who behave badly and when you complain they will remind you that they are females so they must act anyhow.

Nigerian women will say "dont behave as a woman",because according to them,they must behave stupidly since they are women.

I believe American born nigerian women are not like Nigerian women who cannot do anything but are always waiting for men to do all things for them.

I believe American girls are not so filled with pride like Nigerian girls who even if they want something,they will still want you to persuade them to receive what they are earnestly looking for.

A Nigerian girl will be looking for money or she wants a man to suck her cunt but she still want the man to persuade her to receive the money or to persuade her to suck her vagina even though it is she who will enjoy it.

Imagine such nonsense pride.

I believe American girls are not like them.

I believe American ladies are not like Nigerian women who believe that men were created to love and cherish them but they do not believe that they must love and cherish men as well.

I believe that American girls can also ask a man out,initiate a relationship and make a man feel loved and cherished unlike Nigerian girls who believe that when once they open their legs for a man,they have given the man all things.

I believe that American girls are not so much preoccupied with themselves,unlike Nigerian girls who are so filled with pride to the extent that when a Nigerian female is walking on the road,what she sees is only herself but every other person that passes is nothing.

I believe that an American born Nigerian girl would be able to know that just as she wants all males to notice her,all males also want to be noticed by women,unlike Nigerian girls whose so called 'woman pride' has blinded their sense of reasoning to the extent that she cannot see anything beyond her little self.

I use to think that i am the only one that observes these character in naija girls.
So there is someone else that sees these bad nature of nigerian girls.
Men in naija are only interested in sex with our ladies to the extent that they dont observe these useless nature of our girls.
But after our men marry naija girls and their desire to sleep with the wife wanes,their eyes will now open and they will see the woman as she is.
Then they will start having quarrel and trouble with their wives.
They will start hating the woman.

If our men can look beyond the woman's body and his desire to sleep with her,he would have seen her true nature.

It is only after marriage when the woman's body no longer drive him crazy,that is when he will be shocked to discover the evil nature of his wife.

So men must look beyond her physical attributes.When you no longer desire her sexually after marriage,what should remain and sustain the marriage should be her good nature.

But most men will only discover a prideful,self centered,badly behaved woman after the desire for sex has reduced in marriage.

Like everything else in life, even if you are going to marry someone from the moon. Get to know the person very well, don’t be in a hurry, be realistic. Look more to the negatives of the person and see if you will be able to put up with them because most people have got loads of good sides which you should regard as a bonus Find out if you are compatible . Then you can make up your mind. Every relationship requires honesty and mutual respect as a foundation and every other thing is a bonus.

AlfaSeltzer:
Must be an extremely ugly girl if you are the best she can do while living in US.

lol

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

It’s all about personality and perception. There are many ladies with groomed in the American ideology who don’t agree with every aspect and pick only the positives. So it’s based on her personality and how much sense she has.

It’s an individual thing. Some gals like to learn/adopt bad things and some consciously like to adopt the good. Even here in Nigeria we see them acting and reacting.

madjune:


My brother, if you like, go marry akata.
Go ask Nigerians wey marry Nigerian babes born there how far?
One morning she go wake up begin shout Black lives mata for your head.

Dem no dey tell person.

Lol bro. I’ve been in the US for a while and I can tell you that Nigerian Americans are culturally different from Akitas. It depends on the personality tho but many of them(Nigerian Americans) do possess great qualities. The only BUT that you may have is that they are largely independent minded and they usually have high expectations - career, physical features, finance, spiritual life and stuff like that.

handsomebeauty8:


I use to think that i am the only one that observes these character in naija girls.
So there is someone else that sees these bad nature of nigerian girls.
Men in naija are only interested in sex with our ladies to the extent that they dont observe these useless nature of our girls.
But after our men marry naija girls and their desire to sleep with the wife wanes,their eyes will now open and they will see the woman as she is.
Then they will start having quarrel and trouble with their wives.
They will start hating the woman.

If our men can look beyond the woman's body and his desire to sleep with her,he would have seen her true nature.

It is only after marriage when the woman's body no longer drive him crazy,that is when he will be shocked to discover the evil nature of his wife.

So men must look beyond her physical attributes.When you no longer desire her sexually after marriage,what should remain and sustain the marriage should be her good nature.

But most men will only discover a prideful,self centered,badly behaved woman after the desire for sex has reduced in marriage.

Hahaha. A Nigerian girl would come to your house, finish your food and also expect you to give her money when she's living. What a bombshell!

Yankee101:


An MD is a medical degree. See my last post. Not all doctors practice in clinical settings. There are epidemiology jobs, data managers, others branch to do masters in HMO courses to manage hospitals etc

A resident is also a doctor in training and is referred to as an intern in yr 1 and resident in subsequent years. They are called doctors in the hospital, assigned doctor functions,, paged as doctors in emergencies.. Facts are not subject to your opinion

Anybody that watches Greys anatomy will know how american healthcare is structured.

Crispels:


Lol bro. I’ve been in the US for a while and I can tell you that Nigerian Americans are culturally different from Akitas. It depends on the personality tho but many of them(Nigerian Americans) do possess great qualities. The only BUT that you may have is that they are largely independent minded and they usually have high expectations - career, physical features, finance, spiritual life and stuff like that.

I'm also in US, if not longer than you here.

Medical school- Internship(first year in a teaching hospital)- Residency- Fellowship- Attending

Attendings are the top of the food chain.

And it takes atleast a decade to become one.

Yankee101:


An MD is a medical degree. See my last post. Not all doctors practice in clinical settings. There are epidemiology jobs, data managers, others branch to do masters in HMO courses to manage hospitals etc

A resident is also a doctor in training and is referred to as an intern in yr 1 and resident in subsequent years. They are called doctors in the hospital, assigned doctor functions,, paged as doctors in emergencies.. Facts are not subject to your opinion

The problem here is interpretation and not wanting to 'farabale', a doctor in training can be called a doctor but I was referring to the board. The board does not recognize them as doctors but rather doctors in training. In the USA, those intending on practicing as a medical doctor must pass USMLE Step 3 or COMLEX-USA Level 3 exam which comes after year one or two of residency. This is not an opinion but fact, all the jargon you wrote above about data managers and administartors has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, my stance is strictly for those that wants to practice as a medical doctor! Having a medical degree alone does not make you a medical doctor in the USA, any further argument can be done between you and your keyboard....PEACE!

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

Invite her to Nigeria and introduce her to your parent, your parent will see the value of a good wife in her due to their experience if thoroughly she will make a good wife and it doesn't matter whether you wed in Nigeria or in US but pray about it and you will make the right choice yourself

Lmao. It is what you are.

gaius01:



Why the insult, it's an opinion bring yours to the table let's see

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.

Thank you...

Beware of arranged marriage, moreso as a young promising man, avoid it!


The whole American girl thing may sound so posche and thrilling now, but trust me, you will regret it later in life.

You are a medical student, you can relocate abroad and work if that's your so wish in life...all you need to do is study well and write IELTS, write PLAB 1 and 2 which you can pass easily if you are bright student. I can't remember failing any exam as a student and even as job applicant, so you can do it.


Don't plan to use a woman to cross over abroad cos it always end in regrets. The girl is already an Americana, you a full blooded Naija boy with pride won't condone her excesses in marriage.


You can have a plan to relocate to UK, from UK to Australia then US if you so wish to live permanently abroad. UK is easier for doctors from Nigeria to migrate to for work....US is more difficult.


If you must marry a girl abroad, be the one to meet her yourself....and make sure you are absolutely in charge cos their head is always leaking relaxer due to excess freedom and women right over there.


In case you wanna know, I turned down like 3 of such arrangements from relatives and friends who thought they wanted to help me cross over to US through marrying a US citizen, and today, I can proudly say I am more successful than most of my mates living in the US whether as a Doctor, Nurse or whatever job they do there and I can travel to most countries on my own....I have peace of mind, I am an employer....I work at my own schedule, I rule my world....no woman to tell me any nonsense of how she helped me cross over to America like America is wealth.



So think twice......your future is slightly bright as a medical student about to graduate, all you need now is focus and dedication and the world is yours, forget women for now, you will be their hero soon!!

OP is lucky. Mine, an Ethiopian-American damsel insisted I must come to the States. Covid-19 ruined me.

Crownstar01:
OP is lucky. Mine, an Ethiopian-American damsel insisted I must come to the States. Covid-19 ruined me.

How is he lucky You think marrying an American citizen makes you rich or what Most times, it doesn't end well at the long run due to their wild upbringing and extreme feminism practice over there.

Use your head, you can be as rich as you desire even in Nigeria.....just pray for God's grace and favor and then fold your sleeves and work, trust me, its just a matter of time and you will be wondering that was this how easy it is to make money and I was killing myself over money in the past

There are riches everywhere in the world.


Nigeria even have more riches to be made because there are plenty untapped opportunities waiting for smart people to explore.


Yes traveling abroad is cool, but don't mortgage your happiness, freedom and future joy for it

sorepco:
Marry her n move to yankee...get there and do a masters in medical field. Marriage is a gamble...u can either marry a good or bad spouse. Forget those who say u shud marry in lagos n make her move to eko.

Go yankee start ur life bro


e

Girls back home are equally very bad and dangerous.

Check her personality and ideology. If good and promising, you might want to try. But chances are 95% that she will want to be in charge and sees it as normal. Note divorce in US is as simple as breaking up of girl friend and boy friend. The guy normally suffers for it.

Why all these marriages sef? With all the wahala

madjune:


I'm also in US, if not longer than you here.

So, what makes you think that Nigerian American girls despite their educational and career achievements, their Nigerian heritage, family values and the likes are not different from the people you compared them with?

humilitypays:
How is he lucky You think marrying an American citizen makes you rich or what Most times, it doesn't end well at the long run due to their wild upbringing and extreme feminism practice over there.

Use your head, you can be as rich as you desire even in Nigeria.....just pray for God's grace and favor and then fold your sleeves and work, trust me, its just a matter of time and you will be wondering that was this how easy it is to make money and I was killing myself over money in the past

There are riches everywhere in the world.


Nigeria even have more riches to be made because there are plenty untapped opportunities waiting for smart people to explore.


Yes traveling abroad is cool, but don't mortgage your happiness, freedom and future joy for it

There are excellent American girls with proper upbringing. My friend married a damsel who graduated from MIT and both are doing pretty well.

Life doesn't stop in Nigeria. You've got to move.

I know what I want in life because I am an educated person. Girls(not all) in Nigeria are also morally bankrupt.

nexta007:
Study all her Facebook posts if possible to find clues about her personality, beliefs, goals and all...

So true