My fiancé traveled three weeks ago on a business trip,we do call at least thrice daily and we do chat frequently,two weeks ago I told him I needed an amount of money to settle one particular bill that I never planned for earlier,he said he is going to send the money by this month ending.
Last week,I was strolling down the street when I met my old time male friend,we exchanged pleasantries and after much discussion he told me he needed someone who can help him to supervise his site which is under construction and he will pay,I told him I will do it since I’m not having a job for now and I don’t like sleeping at home,we agreed on the payment and I started the work three days ago,the only mistake I made was that I forgot to tell my fiancé about the new development,I was at the site yesterday morning when he called on video call and I explained everything to him,he was really mad at me ,he was shouting at the top of his voice as if Heaven will fall,he said I lack patience,he qualified the work as being a labourer,I apologised but it seems my sorry wasn’t enough,he angrily sent me the money I told him I needed earlier but he doesn’t reply my messages nor pick my calls since yesterday.
Is it a crime for me to work?
I need advice

Why should he be mad at you? These men self.

God just blessed you with 2x the amount you needed. And youre worried.

He will get over it. When he comes back, give him assurance.
Be wary of that "friend" of yours o, keep collecting his benefits but keep him at arms length.

Its not a sin for a strong lady to work. Why is he oppressing you

Maybe he is an elitist and wants a special status for his fiancee. There is dignity in labour of course, but you have to make him understand he is not paying you. Hence you need to find work so far you are willing to do it. If you are ready for the work he should let you do it. If he finds such job as an odd, despicable job then he should find you something more honorable. But you can't be staying at home idle when there is an alternative YOU CAN do.

Meanwhile, be very careful of that friend. No sexual gratification whatsoever. Some men can want such after business deals with ladies.

SweetBuns:
Why should he be mad at you? These men self.

God just blessed you with 2x the amount you needed. And youre worried.

He will get over it. When he comes back, give him assurance.
Be wary of that "friend" of yours o, keep collecting but keep him at arms length.

i swear be very wary of such friend. I know there are good men out there but some men don't let go of favours granted to women without aiming for her vagina.

Thank you ,I really appreciate

SweetBuns:
Why should he be mad at you? These men self.

God just blessed you with 2x the amount you needed. And youre worried.

He will get over it. When he comes back, give him assurance.
Be wary of that "friend" of yours o, keep collecting his benefits but keep him at arms length.

Its not a sin for a strong lady to work. Why is he oppressing you

For someone you discuss with thrice daily, not to know about a major development such as you getting a new job shows the kinda woman you are....the context around it doesn't even look neat (old male friend, asking for money prior to it....). Narrowing it down to him being insensitive to your job needs shows how manipulative you are.

Your boyfriend is a pussy ass nigga who's insecure.

Neurotika:
For someone you discuss with thrice daily, not to know about a major development such as you getting a new job shows the kinda woman you are....the context around it doesn't even look neat (old male friend, asking for money prior to it....). Narrowing it down to him being insensitive to your job needs shows how manipulative you are.

I’m not manipulative ,just that I don’t see any big deal in the job,the location is just a stone throw to my house,even when he called,I was laughing while telling him on phone until he changed everything for me

Neurotika:
For someone you discuss with thrice daily, not to know about a major development such as you getting a new job shows the kinda woman you are....the context around it doesn't even look neat (old male friend, asking for money prior to it....). Narrowing it down to him being insensitive to your job needs shows how manipulative you are.

"The only mistake I made was that I forgot to tell my fiancé about the new development"






The young lady admitted to that very fact, so how's she manipulative?

We're free to criticize not "crucify"

flyingpig:
i swear be very wary of such friend. I know there are good men out there but some men don't let go of favours granted to women without aiming for her vagina.

You need not give such advice to any woman. Women know better and choose to give their vagina to who they care to give it to GLADLY even if they choose to play victim afterwards, they already have it at the back of their mind to give it out GLADLY, they have nothing else to offer.

There is nothing wrong in taking up a job you deemed OK for you, but at least you should have intimated him about it. It looks kinda suspicious and that is his anger.

You have to be humble to apologise until he understands

CosmicPhoenix:

how can you forget to tell your fiance something like that yet you claim you guys chat frequetntly,we all know you are lying so just tell us the truth.

lying about what?

After chatting n making calls everyday.. Is it that You forgot to tell him or you refuse to tell him?? don't worry your man sound like a real niggar, n real niggas have to think deep before making decisions, he'll definitely get back to you n everything will be fine

Kamdil:
There is nothing wrong in taking up a job you deemed OK for you, but at least you should have intimated him about it. It looks kinda suspicious and that is his anger.

You have to be humble to apologise until he understands

Ok boss
Thank you

JidennaJason:
"The only mistake I made was that I forgot to tell my fiancé about the new development"



The young lady admitted to that very fact, so how's she manipulative?

We're free to criticize not "crucify"

Dude did you read what you typed up there? She agreed to the job offer which I'm sure took like probably 24 hours or more before she resumed there. In between this interval she would have spoken severally with the fiancé but she didn't remember she's gonna start work an "old male friend" gave her. She started the work, she still didn't remember where she was. Until the fiance made a video call to her she now remembered she didn't tell him. That's an enormous load of bulllshit.

Neurotika:


Dude did you read what you typed up there? She agreed to the job offer which I'm sure took like probably 24 hours or more before she resumed there. In between this interval she would have spoken severally with the fiancé but she didn't remember she's gonna start work an "old male friend" gave her. She started the work, she still didn't remember where she was. Until the fiance made a video call to her she now remembered she didn't tell him. That's an enormous load of bulllshit.

Oga ,ok fine I’m guilty if that’s your conclusion,what’s the way out ?

Neurotika:


Dude did you read what you typed up there? She agreed to the job offer which I'm sure took like probably 24 hours or more before she resumed there. In between this interval she would have spoken severally with the fiancé but she didn't remember she's gonna start work an "old male friend" gave her. She started the work, she still didn't remember where she was. Until the fiance made a video call to her she now remembered she didn't tell him. That's an enormous load of bulllshit.

I still don't see how she's "Manipulative" bro.

JidennaJason:
I still don't see how she's "Manipulative" bro.

I've got no interest in teaching you semantics. Read up on the term if you wish, hopefully you'll comprehend better.

Neurotika:


I've got no interest in teaching you semantics. Read up on the term if you wish, hopefully you'll comprehend better.

Professor of semantics, I guess you can't answer that...

Have a lovely night.

Neurotika:


Dude did you read what you typed up there? She agreed to the job offer which I'm sure took like probably 24 hours or more before she resumed there. In between this interval she would have spoken severally with the fiancé but she didn't remember she's gonna start work an "old male friend" gave her. She started the work, she still didn't remember where she was. Until the fiance made a video call to her she now remembered she didn't tell him. That's an enormous load of bulllshit.

You read, but you don't understand body language of individual, or how relationship work smoothly. She forgot to inform her fiance who he calls her regularly for new development in her life until VIDEO CALLS from fiance? something is fishing or ulterior motive behind such move, before you knw old male friend will shift pants

Unfortunately, most people are the architect of their misfortunes. Man Know thyself.

Neurotika:


Dude did you read what you typed up there? She agreed to the job offer which I'm sure took like probably 24 hours or more before she resumed there. In between this interval she would have spoken severally with the fiancé but she didn't remember she's gonna start work an "old male friend" gave her. She started the work, she still didn't remember where she was. Until the fiance made a video call to her she now remembered she didn't tell him. That's an enormous load of bulllshit.

You go school man.
It couldn't have been said better.
Don't come here to sum up courage to face your fiance about your stand on this matter.
We'd only tell u d gospel truth.
Nobody for here go pet u.

Your fiance na guy man.
He is suspecting d worst already.
The word "Old Male Friend" is very threatening to relationships.
His mind has flown to d moon already..
Naija guys wey I Sabi, no de do things for free.
Unless your fiance doesn't think in d same frequency

AdesewaAde:
I’m not manipulative ,just that I don’t see any big deal in the job,the location is just a stone throw to my house,even when he called,I was laughing while telling him on phone until he changed everything for me

What kind of oversight if I may ask? It is true that ladies take nice guys for granted. Now see how you are even sounding like he is being unreasonable for being angry that you didn't inform him of this development.

Neurotika:
For someone you discuss with thrice daily, not to know about a major development such as you getting a new job shows the kinda woman you are....the context around it doesn't even look neat (old male friend, asking for money prior to it....). Narrowing it down to him being insensitive to your job needs shows how manipulative you are.

now now chill down

I’m an “old male friend “ to a long time friend I’ve known years now. Something nearly happened simply because I’m an old friend.

let us look at the time line

a: fiance not husband travelled for 3 weeks

b. the 1st week when he was absent(not your husband) you called him you need an unplanned money .he said he will give you at the end of the month October.

c.2nd week when he was absent.you met an old male friend and he offered you a job but you did not inform your fiance.

d: 3rd week he was on video call and this happened when you are on site.
he now ends up sending money to you before the end of the month.



this is a case of two individuals who have not even taken time to determine who does what.
there is no problem about a woman getting employment.the thing here is, there is a sublimal idea that you are manipulating your (so called men friends)
your fiance is placed in a position of being a care giver and husband(which he thinks he is but he is not).he feels threathened when you meet another male friend and he gives you a job within a week and he gets to know because he feels he caught you red handed.

also not everyone can stomach site work as an employment for women(mostly when you mention supervisor)

if communication is key that can make or mere productivity in an organization how much more relationship of any type.

there is a lot of work required between the two of you?

intending couple to be should attend marriage counseling classes

iamadonis2:
I’m an “old male friend “ to a long time friend I’ve known years now. Something nearly happened simply because I’m an old friend.

is she not allowed to have old friends what if she met her principal in secondary school and the principal connected her to a job where she is literally making #3.6m/year and she forget to tell him

Dump him and move on with your life, let everyone do whatever they like. Your fiance should be glad that a woman that can't discuss things over with him has left his life.
I don't even know what guys see in relationships with you women sef

This sister is so good (or so she thinks) with manipulating men. First your man travels and you immediately remembered a bill u have to settle, you meet an old male friendp and he offered u a job, no no, you offered yourself for the job and decided not to let your man know. 48hours past you didn't bother to let him know even though you've spoken like 6times with him(smh). He video called u and you were laughing while trying to tell him, like all of a sudden u realized u have to tell him bcus he saw d environment you were in, had it not been for the video call would you have let him know. And u still come here to make it seem like he's being angry for nothing or that he's overreacting. Sister you try with ya manipulative skills shaa.

germaphobe:
This sister is so good (or so she thinks) with manipulating men. First your man travels and you immediately remembered a bill u have to settle, you meet an old male friendp and he offered u a job, no no, you offered yourself for the job and decided not to let your man know. 48hours past you didn't bother to let him know even though you've spoken like 6times with him(smh). He video called u and you were laughing while trying to tell him, like all of a sudden u realized u have to tell him bcus he saw d environment you were in, had it not been for the video call would you have let him know. And u still come here to make it seem like he's being angry for nothing or that he's overreacting. Sister you try with ya manipulative skills shaa.

don't you think she deserves to be employed?