informative, if African Presidents should be treated this way, forget it, they aren't stepping down when their tenure ends. They haven't even tasted half of these-out-of-the-world security details, they are holding tight to power.

Queen

Trap

Lalasticlala, mynd44

Armpit Sniffer

Armpit sniffers work for deodorant manufacturers to ensure the quality of the product. How does a quality check happen? Sniffers spend their days in a hot room or outdoors, sometimes sniffing up to 60 armpits an hour. Their goal is to determine how effective the deodorant is. They write up reports and help the world to smell better.

Nude Model

Revealing yourself to other people is either illegal or extremely intimate. Not so for these models, who bare it all in the name of art. You don’t have to have the best body, but you need confidence and the ability to hold a pose for hours.

Worm Picker

A simple job that requires you to be in love with being outdoors. When somebody goes fishing, they need worms, which you can buy in many shops. Have you ever wondered how the worms get into the shop? Worm pickers walk in grassy areas (gardens, parks, golf courses) after dark and pick up earthworms.

Line Stander

If you don’t like queuing, there is a perfect solution. Just hire a professional line stander, a person who will queue for you for a fee. Sometimes you have to line up for 19 hours to get a newly launched product or a sample sales item. It’s a hard and boring job that can be well paid.

Bed Tester


As the title suggests, there are people who test beds (mattresses and pillows) for companies and hotels. That’s right, you are paid to sleep at work. Sounds like a dream job! In reality, it’s hard work. A good bed tester knows how to lie down to check that the mattress has no dips and that the edges of the bed are strong enough to sit on.

Pet Food Tester


Pets are our friends, and we have to make sure that they eat delicious and nutritious meals. Call in the pet food testers! They taste pet food to evaluate the flavors and check if it’s up to quality standards. Nobody deserves bad food, especially the favorite member of the family.

Golf Ball Diver


If you enjoy scuba diving and being outdoors, then you are a perfect candidate for this unusual job. Golf ball divers are responsible for collecting all the golf balls from the bottom of ponds on courses. Sounds easy and enjoyable! Well, the truth is that many ponds are not well taken care of, and you can find a lot of nasty mud, algae, and even snakes down there. Gross.

Professional Snuggler


If you need to be hugged, cuddled, and snuggled, but you’re all alone, then your answer is a professional snuggler. You’ll be surprised to find a number of companies offering the most enjoyable and relaxing professional cuddling experience. You get to hug somebody, and you get paid between $60 and $80 an hour! Bear in mind: nothing more than hugs.

There are a lot of people out there who are not satisfied or just plain bored with their office work. There is also a small group of people who are doing jobs you will never believe exist — for some serious cash. Get ready to see jobs that obliterate the concept of a 9-5.

A thief entered the house in the mid-afternoon...he tied up the woman and showing knife point asked the man to hand over all the jewellery and money.

Man started sobbing and said "Bhai you take anything you want but please untie the rope...."

"Why"... asks the thief...
Man: "She is my neighbour's wife...
mine will arrive shortly!"

WIFE: ​Honey let's play a game​

HUSBAND: ​Okay. What's the game about?​

WIFE: ​If I mention a fruit, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a colour, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you'll give me all your salary for this month​

HUSBAND: ​Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I'll have your salary too right?​

WIFE: (smiles) ​Yes darling!​

HUSBAND: ​Okay​ (stands up ready to run in any direction)
​Are you ready​

Husband: ​Yes ready​

WIFE: ​Orange!​

*Its been 4 HOURS NOW...
The husband is still standing on the spot wondering if she meant the fruit or the color* ������

​Moral lesson... After God, Fear Women!​���

At a party, the host was getting worried because
there were too many people and not enough
refreshments. He was sure that not all of these
people had been invited but didn't know how to
tell which ones were the crashers. Then he got an idea....

He turned to the crowd of guests and said, "Will
those who are from the bride's side of the family
stand up please?"
About twenty people stood. Then he asked, "Will
those who are from the groom side of the family
stand up as well?"
About twenty five people stood up. He then
smiled and said, "Will all those who stood please
leave? This is a birthday party.

A soldier was given a three-day leave to attend to
his newly wedded wife but on getting home, he
realised that his wife was in her menstrual period.
So he decided to send a telegram to his
headquarter to extend his leave but with his
mother-in-law and other visitors around, he
decided to code his message in the military way.
This is what followed;

SOLDIER: Omega one, this is omega twelve,
danger signal from the field, red alert in front,
extend leave. Do you read me?! Red alert in front,
extend leave.

HEADQUARTERS: Omega twelve, this is omega
one, I read you loud and clear! Attack from the
back, resume immediately! I repeat, attack from
the back, resume immediately

What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48,
58, 68, & 78 ?
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!
At 78 - What story? What bed Who are you?

Professor at the University was giving a lecture on the Supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asked, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do you think you've seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this Seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 Students raise their hands. "Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 Students raise their Hands? "That's Fantastic! Now let me ask ask you one question further, has any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, a student raised his hand, The Professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Guy, all the Years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your Experience." The Big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the Podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the Professor asks, "So, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
"Shit! From way back there, I thought you said, 'Goats!'"

At the airport....

Officer: so you are a Nigerian by birth.

Akraym : NO, I am a Nigerian by mistake...

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

A police officer stops a car.

Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Driver: “No, to do it.”

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.

PS: Copied and pasted everything



Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Davedgr8:
This Gee stl dey alive? U neva die?

right after your 20th year remembrance service.

onisler:
Thanks bro
Your number please

+1702851646

onisler:
.

done

onisler:
Good evening house

Dr

Please don't quote