₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
Beerbeer, do you have your elder sister's email?

If you do, please send her this:

"Dear Sis, how are you?

I wanted to see how you're doing. We're fine here.

Please, may I say how sorry I am for what happened between us? I should have informed you of my success, after all, you encouraged me to go into Tech. You probably also prayed for me. You've done so much for me, for us as a family since Mumsi passed away. And I can never repay you.

And I know I should have done better. I'm so sorry.

Please, sis, can I take the burden off you a little by (insert your younger sisters names here) handling their allowance? You can't do this on your own and I want to see you, my sister, happy and enjoying her hard work. God know, Nigeria is very hard nowadays. Let me help.

Someone once said that eldest sisters are your 2nd mother and in you, I find that to be true.

If you don't wish to reply this, I will understand. I will always love you, no matter what.

Please take good care of yourself.

Warm regards,
Beerbeer"


And the next job you get, give her 1/4 of what you earn, and let her be the first to know, via email. Even if she doesn't reply.

And when she eventually unblocks you, make it a monthly habit to credit her phone with like N10k.

It's not about the money, it's the thought that counts. It's very hard to be a provider and people like being appreciated. You didn't appreciate her and she's deeply hurt. And you're selfishly expecting her to get over it and be happy for you. Sure, forgiveness is always good, but you too, shake bodi with repentance.

I will do this since I can't get through to her on phone.
Thank you

dominique:
You made her realise that she's dealing with the "what did you even do for me" type of siblings. It's not until things go sour for you that you realise that your siblings never rated you, it's when things look up for such siblings. It's your types that will turn your backs against her if fortunes were reversed, she did well by keeping a safe distance from you all.

Your mum died and it was your sister that took up the role of sponsoring you not your dad, that means your mum was the financial muscle of your family (nairaland men swear with their lives that Nigerian women bring NOTHING to the table btw). How was she treated? Was she appreciated by your dad and siblings? I'm almost certain your mum died unloved, unappreciated and disregarded by your dad and siblings. Your sister must have seen this and doesn't want to follow her footsteps.

No please. My dad has always been the major sponsor but he retired and his 30k pension can't do anything. My mum helped with her business and we always appreciated her when she was alive.

PulaPower:
There’s nothing you can do..

An ingrate doesn’t deserve a 2nd chance..

Please know what you're saying. I have always been grateful to her for everything she has done. This is the first time I have ever messed up.

We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.

Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.

My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.

She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.

All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.

My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now as she has stopped giving us as before.

I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

File photo from Google

Rest in peace

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