₦airaland Forum

If you get back home from work one day and you find strangers in your kitchen with their children... What will you do?

Good

Nonsense thread. How dare you complain earning 650k upward? Most Nigerians, infact not less than 60% workers are earning less than 200k. Your minimum wage is just 70k that many states haven't accepted to pay. Most private school teachers earn less than 70k.

SAMKHAY:
...but they never progressed to sexual intimacy, as I exercised self-control.


I am 34 years old, married to my 31 years old wife since 2020. While we are still trusting God for children, I have remained faithful to her throughout our relationship, since dating, courtship and marriage. I mean I have never had any affair with other lady/woman since I met her in 2018 till present. However, I am currently facing a serious issue and seek your counsel.

In September 2023, my wife's 21-year-old sister moved in with us due to challenges she faced while living with a relative. I genuinely care about her and my wife's family as a whole. My wife, a hospital worker here in Port Harcourt, often works night shifts.

In October 2024, an inappropriate incident occurred between me and her sister, a hug escalated into an intense kiss. This happened twice more in November, but all these three times, they never progressed to sexual intimacy, as I exercised self-control. During the last incident, she asked if it would be wrong to engage in further intimacy to have sex, instantly I realize the gravity of what I was getting myself into. I immediately set boundaries, the next morning we prayed together, asking for forgiveness, and since then, no further incidents have occurred, not even a single feeling.

However, I have noticed a shift in her attitude towards me. Recently, she has become disrespectful, and despite multiple discussions with her, her behavior persists. This evening, after reporting one of her actions to my wife over the phone, I later tried to have a conversation with her. During our conversation, she became defensive, disrespectful, and expressed her desire to leave the house. She confronted me about our past actions, insisting that while I reported her wrong this evening, I should have also disclosed our actions to my wife, even though we never engaged in sex.

I pleaded with her to keep this issue dead, as my wife does not deserve to know about this betrayal, she deserves better from both of us. She has calmed down for now, but I am deeply troubled. My wife is returning tomorrow morning, and I want to ensure this matter remains resolved and private for the sake of my marriage and trust. I would appreciate sincere advice on how to handle this situation and prevent any further harm.

Never allow yourself to be blackmailed by a 21 year old manipulator. That girl is too small to steal your peace, calmness, serenity and authority as the leader of your home. You were 13 years when she was born and can never be smarter than you. You must outsmart her and beat her to her game.

The best way to handle a moral blackmail in marriage is to open up fast and passionately apologize. That's the proof of your strength and ego as a husband.

Open up and apologize to your wife, then send the irritating brat out of your home without pity. She'd be the worse looser.

They are always stubborn, arrogant and proud. Like my wife.

The first solution is that you accept your wife and start loving her. Then you'll see the beauty in her. When you start loving her, you will want to treat her infections and be at peace with your own health. Love up first.

Acting. This is obviously not real.

May your children not lack a father. May the father of your children not be absent. Women naturally need husbands. Never permit your child grow up without a father figure.

LegacyB:
Welcome to Nairaland. The school system in this country is terrible. Raising many people of low IQ. I don’t support Wike but this action is even worse.

Yeah... The action of the general is worse simply because it's not your home they're destroying. Since you're not in his shoes, you can't predict your response if you were a general.

Wike lo ma koba Tinubu last last. This is enough to insigate a coup against Tinubu. The earlier Tinubu sacks Wike, the better for him.

I love Adeleke. No worries. Yet working. Very lively and healthy.

Does he even get sick? Does he get angry or offended? I really want to see him when he's angry or sick.

Afrojuju2017:
Maybe you are a relative of Adeleke so I can understand if you take offence to the statements I've made. But I can't but be serious about this reality, Osun is not doing very well and it's an overburdened state and things need to be accelerated if the future would hold something for us. Ire o

Sir, what happened to the previous administrators? Can't they do the several projects like flyovers and roads Adeleke is doing?

Aregbe owed several half salaries in billions, he owed several pensioners both dead and living. Oyetola with his good heart couldn't do much.

Now someone is doing several infrastructural projects that is transforming the look of Osun, yet he's paying the half salaries debts every month, paying pensioners both living and dead frequently. What else do you want?

What else? Yet Osun is not getting as much as Ogun state, Kogi, Ondo, Kwara etc in monthly allocation. What else do we want?

Weshould be grateful for the little developments even if they are not enough for you.

Osun has started moving please. It takes deliberate blindness to deny these.

Bro please, let us be sincere.. We're in the end of the year already. Let's be sincere even if it's once in a year. 2024 ti fe pari. Everything is not politics.

Afrojuju2017:
Lagere is where one of our family homes is situated, I know when the government started demolition to expand the road and it wasn't even under oyetola, I repeat with confidence that Adeleke has been an abysmal failure saved by the grace of cashflow from federal allocations

Hugsss... It's it easy to be in yuur shoes. Not easy for the blind. Hugsss

Afrojuju2017:
I'm an indegene of Osun, Ife central LGA to be exact.

Adeleke is a piss-poor governor who has been saved the embarrassment due to the over X2 allocations to states due to removal of fuel subsidy and the increased price of crude per barrel. If he was in government in the two times the country entered recession between 2015 and 2021 you wouldn't be saying this

So you're blind, you don't see what is happening in Lagere? Your same Ife. I know It's hard for you to see because too much od cassava has blocked your eyes.

Afrojuju2017:
I'm an indegene of Osun, Ife central LGA to be exact.

Adeleke is a piss-poor governor who has been saved the embarrassment due to the over X2 allocations to states due to removal of fuel subsidy and the increased price of crude per barrel. If he was in government in the two times the country entered recession between 2015 and 2021 you wouldn't be saying this

Can your swear that you're not an Apc apologist? I know you're one of the disciples of Aregbesola or Oyetola. I'm dead sure you're an agbadorian batist.

It can't be strange if you don't acknowledge and appreciate obvious developments like your wicked lords. An average Batist believes nothing can ever work without them. They believe nothing is good is they're not involved. Osun is progressing, indigenes are rejoicing. Shame you! And keep grabbing your plots in FCT.

The Fintechs represent the future of banking in Nigeria.

Afrojuju2017:
Adeleke one of the best performing governors are you living in a parallel universe!

If you're not an indigene of Osun or you've not been in Osun in a longtime. Just respect yourself and shift.

The Osun we have years ago is significantly inferior to what we have now with our meager allocation.

Go and verify. Yet the 6 years half salaries owed by past administrations are being paid regularly. Please just shift.

It can only bw appreciated if it forces the price down on the long run. Thesw competition should help oir economy. But Nigeria's case is different. The more you look, the less you see.

Adeleke is working no doubts. He's one of the best performing governors presently in Nigeria. Most indigenes of Osun are behind him but he needs to be smarter because Tinubu led APC arw desperate to snatch and run with Osun.

They're playing politics with this airport. They'll capitalize on it to distabilize him. He should quickly ignore the project altogether. Osun is not really well poised for an international airport.

He should embark on another high class project in Ido Osun like, starting a health college or a state owned Polytechnic or any other viable institute to win back his support among the indigenes of Ido.

Don't let them politicize this airport and use it to spoil your good reputation.

Tinubu is a bad politics player. You can't win him. Just ignore and move as you focus on your reelection.

Unrepentant thief. Smiling like a goat and shaking hands with fellow judicial criminals.

God please judge this wicked corrupt politicians in Nigeria yourself. The audacity is just too much and it is irritating.

Help us with your justice oh lord.

Odafe360:
My wife's mum is a widow.... my wife has 5 siblings, all of them are female.... Some of her siblings have children for different men while others are in their second marriages.

It's very clear what the case is. You can't handle this matter with some intelligent decisions. You need to understand that there is a pattern of flow marriage failure in her family. I haven't asked about yours. But be sure that marriage doesn't carry the same value to her. You value the marriage but she's doesn't... She's comfortable with loosing her home. The home doesn't carry a heavy value before her. It's a pattern and unfortunately, it is beyond her.

You need to fast and pray. And it's meant to be done by both of you. Until she shares an healthy value for marriage and home, your marriage won't be sweet. Pray o... Pray.

I would actually love to ask you some more questions but this time about you. But here is a public forum.

SUPERPACK:
You forgot that the building still belongs to you plus the rents coming in. Add it to real estate appreciation and that building will be valued at minimum of 100 million naira in 10 to 15 years time. Add it up and total value from that house in that 35 years will be about #170,000,000.

Buildings don't appreciate, only land does.

Odafe360:
I've never rub the infidelity on her face, i forgave totally. Though from time to time, I feel the pain but never reminded her about it. When she packed out, there was no issue at all apart from when she threatened that she will leave because of a very trivial issue.

Alright sir. Please do not mind ky questions, what does the marital life of her siblings look like? Is her mum living alone or with her father? Do they have plenty divorcees in her family?

Odafe360:
I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?

Dear Op, sorry for your ill experience. Please do not feel bad that you forgave her the first time, it is a sign that you're a good person. It is not foolishness neither is it weakness. It is strength!

This time she packed out, what is the cause? Has there been any issue you haven't mentioned? That will equip me with the necessary information to advice you.

Meanwhile, I hope you have not been rubbing the first infidelity case on her face? If you have been doing such, you haven't forgiven her and the pain is enough for her to want a leave.

Please shed more light sir. I sense a spiritual undertone to this matter anyway.

Oyetola bawo? Even if APC plans to rig.. The rigging will certainly fail because Adeleke enjoys the blessings and support of the people of Osun. They don't want to loose him for anyone. Then man is working. One of the best performing governors in Nigeria presently.

In my sincere opinion, ordaining people in to the office of an Apostle is unbiblical. You don't ordain an apostle. It is not a biblical pattern! We are starting another craze again now o.

Good. At least, let us start launching projects that will directly compete with the best in the world. Then Africa will re-define herself to the world.

Simply wow. With Musk, America will reinforce itself as the uncontested strongest nation on earth.

Imagine when Elon Musk decides to venture into military weapons proper.

Therealsally:
Quick and affordable way to upgrade your decor.

I need this ASAP

Shevchenkko:
Trump will certainly bring peace around the world. God brought him back for a huge reason

But be afraid of peace. 1 Thessalonians 5:3 KJV
For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.

H

Just decamp to another party Aregbe