₦airaland Forum

These days love has now become the tool in manipulating others into getting whatever he or she wants and not the genuiness in loving anymore and these applies to both genders and that's why you see alot people coming up to speak about or against these things so you don't fall a victim of being a benefactor all because he/she said they love you.

Dpsychologist:
I was startled when i saw a video of a lady narrating on how her mother is giving her a life changing advice that immediately a man shows interest in her, she should start billing him, and if he is genuine, he will stay, while if he is not genuine, he will run away.

What exactly are we teaching the younger generation?

The internet has turned relationships into some kind of marketplace where people are constantly testing each other with money, gifts, sex, attention and material possessions. We then call these tests "standards" or "proof of love," when in reality, some of these behaviours are simply encouraging people to become more transactional and suspicious of one another.

A better message for that young woman would have been much simpler.

Make your own money. Develop yourself. Know your worth. Set reasonable standards. Know the kind of man you want, and allow men who genuinely meet those standards to approach you.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a financially responsible man. There is nothing wrong with expecting a man to have ambition, stability and the ability to take care of himself. The problem begins when someone's ability to spend money becomes the primary measurement of their character.

I have come to realise that our values influence the kind of people and situations we tolerate in our lives. If you believe love must constantly be demonstrated through money, you will naturally pay more attention to people who express affection through money. If you value character, discipline, honesty, responsibility and emotional maturity, those qualities will become much more important when choosing a partner.

People sometimes say, "How do you know someone is genuine? People can pretend."

Of course they can.

A person can pretend for a few weeks or even months. Someone can behave perfectly while trying to win you over. Human beings are capable of deception.

The closest thing we have to a window into someone's intentions, however, is their character.
I am not talking about how they treat you when they desperately want something from you. I am talking about how they live generally.

Watch how they treat people who cannot benefit them.

Watch how they speak about their friends when those friends are not around.
Watch how they behave when they are angry.
Watch how they handle money.
Watch how they respond to failure.
Watch how they treat colleagues and strangers.
Watch whether they keep their promises when nobody is forcing them to.
Watch what they do when they have an opportunity to cheat and know they will probably never be caught.

Those things tell you far more about a person than whether they bought you an expensive phone three weeks after meeting you.

Someone may successfully hide their character from a romantic partner for a while, but it is much harder to maintain a completely artificial personality across every area of life.

Pay attention to the pattern. The young people growing up today are being exposed to an enormous amount of relationship advice, much of it coming from strangers who have no idea what happens inside the relationships they are advising people about.

"Bill him."
"Make her jealous."
"Never text first."
"Never give him sex."
"Test her."
"Test him."
"Make him spend."
"Make her chase."
"Never show weakness."

We are turning human relationships into psychological warfare. Perhaps the younger generation needs something much more boring but much more useful.

Learn to become a good person.
Learn to recognise good character.
Make your own money.
Develop independence.
Set healthy boundaries.
Choose carefully.
Communicate honestly.
Do not use manipulation to test love.

Do not confuse someone's ability to spend money with their ability to love. Do not confuse someone's willingness to have sex with commitment. Do not confuse marriage with a guarantee of good character.

Money matters. Attraction matters. Compatibility matters. Sexual compatibility matters. Shared values matter. But character matters even more.

At the end of the day, we cannot see inside another person's heart. We can only observe their choices and the patterns they repeatedly display.

Perhaps that is why one of the most important things we can teach the next generation is not how to extract the maximum value from relationships, but how to recognise people who have genuine value themselves.

May the next generation learn the difference.

hhhhhhhdhdhdhdhhdhdhdh

Hismajesty44:
Hope we the emilokans can see our DEFEAT in 2027 boldly written in capital letters!

I know you are an obedient only that I just can't prove it

Useless force system I knew it was all for formality sake person wey una go detain for thorough interrogation, Nigeria can never be better

FSBoperator:
Advertisement by the billboard company.

If you saw it and are talking about it, then corporate bodies will want that space to place their ads

Hmmm sharp that was a smart thought by you there thumbs up

What do you expect they are the vips in the country na

Diamond098454:
This guy should stop insulting people
He should learn from Tinubu son


His uncle governor Adeleke and his Aids should be the one to face Edo governor

I Admire Seyi Tinubu a lot

OMO 9ja nor fit better walahi if the likes of you can boldly come to say this about our oppressors then we are finished, admiring people that gradually pulling the country down into shambles tufiakwa

Can God just give me a one on one opportunity with these sets of people in government?

Make we throw blow one on one

wiseone28:
Wow I still remember that day

Werey lol and you fit still dey active on nairaland

Yes so they can shoot unarmed protesters after 2027 rigged elections on instant order

TemplarLandry:
These are joble$$ boys who fled their states because of Monday sit @ homes. They now constitute nui$ans in peaceful Lagos.

Indirectly bringing tribalism into this already una nor go ever get sense tufiakwa

Lol pampering them ahead of the protest that might erupt after an obvious rigged election smart move I pity una for this country

So all those Jonathan contesting saga was just a means of distraction

martinskelly:
u Sabi things abeg, some people will put their rubber band inside kerosene so that it will swell up which we call "Pata nla"... Omo gone are those days.

Haha omo adult has really stolen most of our happiness memories

Obviously all of the above.

You forgot to add the legendary which is the rubber band throwing game

We used to go house to house for tournaments with loads of rubber bands in our hands almost getting to the elbow it was more like a champion belt then lol

So because of just one stvpid person you all want to endanger the lives of others? Omo this country is messed up beyond repair

Two wrongs can't make no right, you could report to authorities and carry on with your damn jobs

Anyway the work don tire dem already before

If it took Tinubu that same four years to worsen things to this extent then I believe 4 years would be enough to take us back to where Tinubu and buhari met us when things were more cheaper and more affordable if not even further.

Make obi carry us back to where Jonathan leave am we go still appreciate am

That serves him right since they have decided to be blinded and influenced by the corrupt leaders from carrying out their civil duties properly by standing against corrupt practices.

But a drug dealer and a certificate forger can be president abi?

I guess you can see the statue with epe written underneath

So start a fish business

Lol Nigeria our supposed country the film wey una dey play e dey show

Look at how relaxed they are
I will keep whatever to say to myself
If you believe these skit makers then I pity the future of relatives and children

Honestly without opay most of us Nigerians wouldn't have known or witnessed what fast and reliable transactions feels like.

I want to dedicate this my achievement of being the first to comment to PETER OBI our incoming president long our incoming president and short live their current president

Fuckyoumod:
Why is she kin on remaining with the same people that hates her so much?

Probably you don't know what it means or how it feels leaving a place you've lived almost all your life built connections and all to go start all afresh.

Ontop 20k offering for the day wey I say make I hustle

You must be dvmb and stvpid simultaneously minimum na 70k exam fee 50k make it make sense

LagosOrigin:
Why can't Faan purchase this cars and give it to the cab drivers to be paid back installmentally

Tinubu should stop forcing his hardship policies on Nigerians

If if they do so it will still be by connection before you can have access or possession to any so it's definitely of no use.

Like they say another man food is another man poison, those who can afford such cars will definitely not join in this protest cause the rule will be to their own advantage cause the competition will be lesser now with more ride orders

If one man own nor spoil another man own nor go better

mrvitalis:
And you are making it public ?
Una see why this government no sabi anything

Like seriously bro and they know that these criminals have access to the internet wherever they are SMH