₦airaland Forum

lagosminded:
If others that came before you had accepted society’s defined roles on gender and race, you and I would still be in chains.

Humans make up a society and humans set the rules. Nothing is set in stone, rules and expectations change as society evolves. Nothing good happens when we accept the status quo. There is nothing about women that make them inferior, biology or otherwise. It’s humans that decided women should be inferior and you have been indoctrinated to parrot this fallacy.

It’s your choice and right not to believe in gender equality, fortunately the success of the movement doesn’t depend on your approval. There are people that came before you that made possible the new rights that most women now enjoy today, and there are people that will pick up the mantle after you are long gone.

I agree, the success of gender equality is neither dependent on me nor you.

Which is why such a notion will never succeed, because there can never be a universal conflagration on the subject. Hundreds of millions out there do not believe even in gender equity talkless of equality, some such as I, believe in a concession, a middle ground which I call gender equity, fewer still hold the believe of gender equality. Infact,the ideas you champion is more of gender equity than gender equality.

As long as Christianity and Islam suppresses women and dictates their roles as subservient to men, then I see no way the idea can succeed. I sometimes see christian feminists and I wonder what exactly they understand by feminism or christianity, how can a person be both?,they are two polar idealogies.

So unless we eradicate religion,culture, education,science and other social myths from society(i.e eradicate society itself), then gender equality is a fallacy.

lagosminded:
I think you are very wrong and I don’t agree with you. You just typed how society defines and treats the differences in genders. With each successes of the gender equality movement, society has been proven wrong about their pre-defined roles of genders. There were some roles/jobs that society never thought women could do, yet here we are. No human being should be made inferior because of how they are made. Also, not everyone conforms to a gender stereotype, that’s why everyone irrespective of gender should have equal access and opportunities.

There are some men that don’t want to fight in a war, while there are some women that embrace combat. Those women were previously denied that opportunity because of their gender, feminism exists to change that. Equality- equal opportunities and access irrespective of gender.

The mere existence of the human society is due to the fact that we believe in the society, otherwise,we'd all be like animals.

What I mean is that, the reason why for example, Nigeria exists today is because we all believe that there is an entity called Nigeria, if we cease to believe it, then Nigeria wouldn't exist.

Same way it is with women and gender equality. The society defined a woman as she is, and the only way you can change that is if society itself ceases to exist. Which is impossible.

That is why I said that what you are dreaming of is an unfeasible utopia where men and women have equal opportunities, it is impossible. Not even just because of society,but also due to natural limitations of the female species.

The best we can have is equity, where women would be treated fairly based on their capabilities and roles in society. Nobody will hand women opportunities on a platter of gold no matter the agitation, and women do not have the wherewithal to seize those opportunities themselves. It is the way humanity has become wired.

lagosminded:
The equality in “gender equality” is not literal, it references access to equal opportunities. Also, women were deemed inferior at a time when physical strength was coveted.

Women cannot have access to equal opportunities with men because of their natural psychological, social and genetic deficiencies.

For instance, very few women are security experts, military officers or generals because, of course, the military values strength over all other qualities, and women aren't generally as strong as men(hence why they rarely go to war). The political class all over the world is dominated by men because women are burdened with social duties such as raising children, which dulls the momentum of their ambitions. The religious class all over the world is dominated by men because men are perceived to possess an higher emotional quotient and charisma for leadership, which naturally makes them look more credible than women(also, such religious roles are very time consuming, which prevent most women who have other social duties from aspiring. In some cases, religion doctrines even outrightly forbids women leadership, as seen in Christianity and Islam).

So, when men are in charge of the political, military, religious and even economic affairs of a society, do you ever expect equality?, women can never get equal opportunities in such a social setting. The opportunities belongs to men,and it is them who decides whether to share with women or not.

The best we can work towards is gender equity, not equality.

khia:
Give him grief about his sexuality, never? He has been my best friend ❤️ since we were 6 years old and I have mentioned that several times on this forum. If I need something he is always there to help and vice versa.

Nice, he is a good friend then.

khia:
Besides an uncouth man. Don't take it personal, I don't blame you for loving the pe.nis.

My best friend ❤️ is gay.

Personal?, Of course not. If a leashed dog were to bark at you behind it's owners picket,would you take it personal?. That is a figure of speech by the way

Come on, we are just having fun.

Best wishes to your best friend then, I hope you don't give him/her too much grief?.

lagosminded:
I am curious, why don’t you believe in gender equality when you espouse its principles?

I am more of a realist. The psychological and genetic composition of the female species places her below the male. These taxonomic discrepancies are further reinforced by social myths(such as religion, culture, education, ideology, etc) which govern the existence of the human race.

For example, almost every monotheistic religion on Earth perceive God to be a man, the polytheistic ones have weaker godesses compared to their male counterparts (you see the gods given celestial portfolios over warfare, battle, lightening, sun, ocean, etc, while the goddesses occupy the terrain of love, fertility, etc). Knowing that religion is intrinsic to social dynamics, you can just imagine how this system of worship would subconciously affect the way the female species is generally perceived.

Same goes for culture and other social myths. So, my point is that, women are wired to be slightly inferior to men in nature, but equal to men in biological essence, hence, why I believe they should be treated with equal respect.

khia:
Hopefully you can move on and start your own gay website for your kind so the rest of us don't have to puke with the mental image of your foul behavior.

There is nothing fouler or viler than an uncouth woman

RiyadhGoddess:
Yinmu
I get your type plenty.
You are the first person I will be saying this to here on Nairaland;
Be my friend, will you?
Chat me up- 09050697535
I'm I'm church now but I will respond
Kosi wahala

Mama is looking for convert.

Look, I can't change who I am. There is no amount of preaching and "holy ghost encounter" that can upturn DNA or psychology. So just save your time for churchy things.

RiyadhGoddess:
Oh really?
I really wish to speak to be Op one on one if it's possible.
Thanks...

Modified

Oh it's you.
I greet you sir. How are you today?

I am fine, you?.

Before you start preaching, I am not a religious person. So save yourself the long winded essay.

khia:
Yes, she is the host of her own TV show and she have a lot of gay followers and when they come to her studio to watch her show she will say to the audience "How You Doing" which is code for Welcome my gay brothers. That's why I said it to you.

Welcome! I have a couple of questions for you on your other thread.

I anwered the questions. Hopefully, you can now move on.

khia:
California is fine. Do you know who Wendy Williams is?

An American celebrity, I reckon.

khia:
When you make those kinds of statements make sure to get your point across clearly, and yes I understand your point now.

Oh yeah, in Wendy Williams voice "How you doing"!

I am fine, how is California today?

khia:
You just contradicted your own point. You said the concept of women being the property of men is chauvinistic only to turn around and say you believe a woman is as much HER HUSBAND'S PROPERTY as her husband is her property.

So what is your belief, is a wife the property of her husband or not?

The second statement is a figure of speech - an aphorism of sorts. If both man and wife are each other's property, then nobody is a property because they are equal. I hope you get it.

RiyadhGoddess:
Two days ago, I came on here and clicked on New as I normally do to read New stories or news. So I saw a headline which caught my attention. I never knew that opening it to read was going to mess my mind and till date I have not recovered from what I read. While reading I started feeling dizzy and was going to throw up in fact I wept for the writer and every other person still trapped in it. The Holy Spirit began to speak to me and I began to type and after typing, I posted it. The Holy Spirit wanted me to create a thread on it but I disobeyed till now I feel so bad only for me to sleep and wake to see that it's all gone. I think the admin must have removed or closed the thread which is a good one because to me, it was a stylish way of promoting gay though that might not be the writer intent anyway.
What I am going to say below will offend some persons I'm sorry but the truth must be told.
Anal Sex, Homosexuality, Lesbianism, what is God take on it? Is it a sin Is it wrong? Is it an Abomination
I know we are all busy this very morning like wise me but I have to suspend all that I am doing, to address what I have mentioned above. I hope I don't get banned but if I do, You all can read it later in the day on my twitter.

Now go with me to the book of Romans Chapter 1 verse 26 and 27. I will read it in different translation so we can all understand what it says.

Romans 1:26-27 The Message Translation.
Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men.
Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—
all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—
emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

Romans 1:26-27 New Living Translation
That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other.
And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

Romans 1:26-27 New King James Version
For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their
women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the
men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
Now what is this penalty? Read it again, they all received PENALTY, DUE PUNISHMENT, THEY PAID FOR IT... What is that Penalty?
The penalty is all the diseases, malfunction, infections derived from this shameful act etc.
Ok the key thing that I want you all to see here is that, GOD GAVE THEM OVER !
So anybody into homosexuality and lesbianism, God has given them over to degrading and vile passions to a reprobate mind. My dear, it is not a natural mind that thinks of sex with same gender.
Please open your dictionary and check the meaning of vile.
God gave them over to their vile affection. So I want us to look at what the word vile actually means. Sincerely if you all know what it means, then you will understand the gravity of what Paul was saying there.
Let's see the meaning of vile;
Extremely Unpleasant, Morally Bad, Wicked, Little Worth of Value, Foul, Nasty, Nauseating, Abominable, Dreadful, Offensive, Disgusting, Distasteful, Sickling, Mean, Stinky, Wretched, Disgraceful, Hateful, Shocking etc.
What I want you all to know about anal sex is that, there is a muscle in the anus called phalas or something. I don't know the right spelling but doctors in the house understands what I mean or anyone can help me with the right spelling.
Now the primary purpose of that muscle is to keep the anus closed after going to the rest room to excrete waste. That is the purpose of it and once that thing is destroyed, you leave your anus opened to Hepatitis, opened to HIV, opened to all kinds of infections and diseases.
That place was designed by God to be an outpost location. It is actually an outpost location. It is an outpost for things to go out. It is not a place for things to go in through. Shey una dey get am so? Poo comes out through the anus and not go in abi una think say God wey create you even put anus there no get sense ni? THE ANUS IS NOT MEANT FOR THRUSTING !!!
Now to all husbands demanding anal sex from their wives please for God sake Stop it!!! It is 100% wrong. You are not in anyway different from the men having sex with men.
God didn't design the woman anus for sex but instead, God designed the woman by giving her the vaginal and clitoris. The clitoris is not in the anus neither is the vaginal in the anus. That is why a man forcing/ pressurizing his wife for anal sex is a wicked man knowingly or unknowingly. You are hurting that woman and you are not pleasuring the woman. As a fact, you are only pleasuring yourself and that's why you always need a Vaseline to enter into the anus simply because the anus wasn't designed to receive thrusting. So please desist from this act. Stop/Stay away from anal sex you are only hurting yourself by doing that and you are hurting the woman, or the man or boy you are having anal sex with.
Now everything God created, the devil will always bring a falsification and adulteration to that thing. For example, those who says they were born that way hahahahahaha I laugh in heavenly tongues, Nobody as in NO HUMAN WAS BORN A GAY!!! Take it to the bank.
The truth is that everything God created the devil adulterate and anal sex, same gender sex is one of the adulteration of the original. Please guys stay away from it. As in run away from it. Homosexuality, Lesbianism, Flee from it!!! Sex is meant for a man and a woman, husband and wife Not man and man, woman and woman.
So please let's stop it. It is part of what is called abomination. Anal sex/Same gender sex is not just a sin, it is an abomination!!! Sexual pervasive is an abomination. 2 some, 3 some, 4 some, 5 some and what have you are all abomination! All these things are all abomination!
The truth is, when you begin to accept something unpleasant, it means something has first of all happen to your nature. I mean when you begin to take as pleasant something that is originally unpleasant, what it means is that something has happened to your nature that now makes you to accept what is against the law/norm as normal. So as I have said, please run away from it biko.
You really do not have any reason to be gay, no reason to be homosexual, no reason to be a lesbian or Bicurious as I learnt in the other thread I made mention of. You have no reason to have anal sex with your spouse not for any reason under the sun! Wives if your husband is pressuring you for anal sex, please threaten to report him! I am certain he wont want anybody to hear of such disgusting act...
There is no pleasure in it. That pleasure you think you are getting, let me just tell you, it is a demon that is getting that pleasure through you. It is a demon that is just using your body to satisfy its own demonic intent. Take note of that!
Anywhere something like that is, if there is already a demonic activity, it is no longer natural. That is why it's said to be unnatural, it is against the normal cause. A person engaging in anal sex, homosexuality, lesbianism, all other sexual pervasion, it is an evil spirit that is working through you/persons to satisfy its own personal cravings so please run away from it. Stop it! And if you are already involved in it, be it before or at present/Now, Please Repent from it. Go for deliverance at any of the living church around you or you can write to me please take note that everything discussed will be treated confidential and with empathy. Please get or seek help/delivered because you are on another level. I am not even talking about the normal sexual offences, yours is tertiary. You are not in primary or secondary, you are in tertiary. IT IS WORST! If there is anything above tertiary, I would have used it.

Nope, it's now in sexuality section.

https://www.nairaland.com/5371676/first-gay-experience-sex

I am expecting more of your preachings

U1:
It's not right to consider a woman as a piece of property. Not at all!

But then, you need to start by condemning the idea of bride price. The Westerners, whose view we tend to want to copy, don't have that.

It may be easier to deal with this idea of seeing women as property if the man is not given the impression he is paying to buy a wife. A man is probably more likely to think, maybe subconsciously, that he's buying a wife when requested to pay a million or more, as is reportedly the case in some places, as bride price.

Just what I think, though, and you are free to not agree.

PS: You even be gay sef. So what were you saying?

Yes, maybe you are right. However,paying of bride price is a tradition in this part of the world. Trying to eliminate that would raise a lot of social conflict, especially from the conservative majority.

Probably,it would be better is the marriage price is done in form of an exchange; the groom pays the bride's family,and the bride pay the groom's family certain nuptial materials. That way, it wouldn't seem like a one sided purchase.

PS: I am gay, so what?. I have heterosexual parents, relatives and neighbors, and I know how relationships work. Or you take homosexuality is just about sex?.

AstroG:
Homo Abeq shift,
Ah gat nothing with a gay modafuker

Someone gave me a good advice, ignore the troll.

I even thought you were a lady sef... bereft of common sense...adios...

PUSSYWHORE:
Men have no evidence of virginity, we don't bleed.

Virginity isn't about bleeding, it's about chastity and self restraint. If men cannot hold themselves,why expect women to remain untouched till marriage?.

Note: Not every virgin bleeds on their first time.

AstroG:
Imagine A GAY talking about women,relationships and marriages
Thus is gonna be interesting


Least ah forget,hope you don change your pampers cus its time for thay

What does my sexuality have to do with relationship talk??

You are one of the reasons why guys look down on ladies. Such crass ignorance.

Blackivy27:
I agree 100%
op kudos to you.

dont mind the haters. As for your sexuality be yourself. Gays are even rather cool.

Thanks dear.

FCBboy:
guys please don't take Nigerian women serious...


I'll rather chew pieces of broken glass than marry one.

Why??, I imagine that you are talking from experience, but not all people are the same, your personal experiences doesn't warrant a blanket stereotyping of all Nigerian women.

I may be gay,but I have a lot of girl friends, and to me, they are very much intelligent and matured, at least the ones I roll with.

donbachi:
U're not in any position to discuss about marriage or man/woman relationship...u lack every moral justification therein...in ur other post,u talked about u been gay and how u were fvcked by a man like u...abi no be u?

So because I am gay, it means I have no idea how a relationship is supposed to work?.

Use your head bro.

I was going through this section and I saw this thread where a guy was saying virginity is the best marriage gift to give a man.

https://www.nairaland.com/5152538/virginity-best-wedding-gift-man

My take on this is that, while a women keeping her virginity till marriage is all well and good(from the moral or religious standpoint), what about the man?. In this part of the world, men feel it is their right to demand lofty characteristics from women, characteristics which they themselves don't possess. If a woman should keep her virginity till marriage as a gift, then is it not only proper for the man to reciprocate?. Sadly, that is not the case. We view men losing their virginity long before marriage as a normal phenomenon,but if a woman does the same, she is slut-shamed and the act is tagged an fornication/abomination (even by men who, ironically,have slept with myriads of other girls).

Now, I am not preaching gender equality, because I don't even believe in that. But some things are just logical and fair. A man should also be willing to keep his virginity till marriage if he is expecting to marry a virgin wife. You can't be expecting to marry a virgin when you yourself are not one, what make you better that her then?, It is paining you that other men have slept with her,but you reason that it is cool for you to have slept with other women right?, What about the other women you slept with and even took their virginity?.

All these stem from the subconscious believe in Africa that women are the property of their husbands. I feel that is chauvinistic and only a step away from master-slave mentality. We need to change this mindset. A woman is as much her husband's property as her husband is her property.

That is my take.