₦airaland Forum

Doing what exactly I guess they had the sleepless night just to embezzle our common wealth and thinking of which bank is safer to keep it and out of the prying eyes of EFCC.

ayobase: No be their fault na...they had sleepless night!

https://www.talkofnaija.com/images/newsimages/bbdfcf08f72693af36ef192b73a04091.jpg



By Azuka Onwuka
(azuka.brand@augustconsulting.biz)

Three incidents regarding teenage pregnancy in Yorubaland remain evergreen in my memory. Some 19 years ago, on being told that I was posted to a mixed secondary school in the South-West for the one-year National Youth Service Corps scheme, a relative (but born and bred in Yorubaland) warned me with all seriousness: “Be careful! Yoruba girls are very fertile.” I laughed at such a ridiculous statement, asking her if fertility had anything to do with race or ethnicity.

A few months later, while discussing with a Yoruba friend on our small street (a close in which almost all of us knew one another), one of the teenage girls on the street passed by with a protruded stomach...

I was shocked at her pregnancy. My friend sneered at her and told me that two other girls of her age on the street were also pregnant. Given my background as someone who grew up in the South-East, it was strange to me, but I kept quiet to avoid being accused of bigotry. The Yoruba friend asked me with surprise: “Why is it that I have never seen a pregnant Igbo girl? Is it that they don’t do what other girls do?” I laughed heartily but knowingly.

Some years later, my landlady at that time sent some snacks to me, saying that her unmarried and unemployed son had had a baby. I was surprised. Shortly after, the young mother arrived with her son. I thought the young man had married her. No. She stayed a few months to nurse the baby, and when the baby was weaned, she departed, leaving the baby behind with his father. I was shocked. But I sought an explanation. I saw myself as a baby in kindergarten, being schooled in a different culture. I learnt that the Yoruba never wish that their unmarried daughters get pregnant, but if such a pregnancy occurs, so long as the man claims responsibility, the parents’ anger and disappointment will be lessened. There is little or no stigma on the girl, the man, the baby, as well as both parents, once the man has claimed responsibility and the child has an identifiable father. No doubt, this worldview has its drawbacks, but that is not our focus now.

Contrast that with the practice in Igboland, where I was born and bred. When a teenage girl gets pregnant, it is most likely that the man or boy responsible will deny ever touching her. He may even disappear from the community, never to be seen again, especially if he is not an indigene. The Igbo tradition holds that the baby belongs to the girl’s family, because no bride price has been paid, even though these days some individuals and families go against that tradition. But the bottom line is that the girl’s parents will feel utterly disappointed and ashamed of her. People will make snide remarks about them not training their daughter properly. Some parents go to the extreme of sending such a girl away. Her school will rusticate her. If she is a member of the church choir, Block Rosary, Girls’ Guide/Brigade, Red Cross, etc, in her local church, other girls will be warned by such a church society never to be like “the prodigal daughter.”

To avoid public odium, she will stay indoors throughout the pregnancy. Her chances of marriage are drastically reduced, as every prospective suitor who hears that she is a single mother will change his mind (unless she becomes successful later in life). If she eventually finds a husband, it may be as a second wife: to a man whose first wife has not had a child or son, a widower, a man her father’s age, or a man below her dreams of a husband. She may never return to school to avoid ridicule, and her dreams to become a doctor or lawyer dies.

On the contrary, if she miscarries, aborts the pregnancy, or loses her baby during delivery or shortly after, she becomes “a good girl again,” and can walk about with more confidence, even though some may still sneer at her silently for a year or two.

So, in response to my friend who said he had never seen a pregnant Igbo spinster, this is the reason. It has nothing to do with Igbo girls being more chaste than other girls in Nigeria. In the distant past, the Igbo society had no respect for a girl who was not a virgin during marriage. Today, virginity before marriage is no longer an issue. The unspoken law is: Thou shall not be caught pregnant before marriage. An Igbo proverb describes this mindset aptly: All dogs eat faeces, but it is only the one that bears the remnants on its snout that is calledFaeces Eater. Consequently, Igbo girls are more exposed to sex education and contraceptives. When those two fail, they resort to abortion, commonly called D & C (dilatation and curettage). But if the baby is born, some resort to dumping of such babies in a pit toilet or a bush, where they may die or be found by someone else.

However, while teenage girls don’t need their babies, there are some women who need children desperately: Married women with no child or no male child. Such women are most times put under intense pressure by their mothers-in-law or husbands. They are constantly threatened with divorce or a second wife, or they are branded witches or “men”. To make matters worse, there seems to have been a rise in childlessness among married couples in recent times.

Furthermore, in most Igbo communities, adoption still has a stigma. An adopted child is seen as not a “real son/daughter of the soil.” Everyone wants a child that society will believe is a biological child.

And so “demand” meets “supply.” Some smart alecs discovered this and took advantage of the situation by setting up baby factories under different guises. Childless women are given some special “herbs” that make them have a false sense of pregnancy. They look bloated like pregnant women and feel some sensation in their wombs. They are warned never to visit any other hospital or do any scan, to avoid losing the baby. They are told to come in and live in the so-called maternities from the fifth or sixth month of “pregnancy” for special attention. So they travel from the big cities of Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, etc, to these remote villages in the South-East to “deliver.”

Meanwhile, the so-called midwife that administers the special herbs has a baby factory where pregnant girls are housed. Some of these girls were kicked out by their parents; some ran away from home to avoid the heavy consequences; some are lured in from poor homes with a promise to be handsomely rewarded if they could take in. Any day one of these girls in their custody is delivered of a baby, the woman with a fake pregnancy is given an injection that makes her feel she is in labour. When she wakes up, she is presented with “her” baby. She pays between N400,000 and N600,000, depending on the sex of the child, believing she actually delivered a child, unless a future DNA or blood test comes up. Even if she suspects that she did not actually deliver any child, she keeps it a secret and raises “her child”. She organises a big thanksgiving in her church with a soul-lifting testimony of “divine visitation and favour” after 15 years of marriage, with a lot to eat and drink at home after the church service. The pressure on her from family and society eases off, because now she has a child, who will keep her husband’s lineage alive.

The real teenage mother of the child is paid off with an amount that is less than N100,000. She is not much bothered because her burden and stigma have been removed. She returns to her family and education and continues her normal life as “a good girl.”

So from one Igbo state to another, baby factories and baby thieves are discovered regularly. During interrogation by the police, one point runs through their stories: they are rendering a service to society by ensuring that children are raised by those who have the financial capacity to take care of them. There is no sign of remorse in them for being involved in a heinous crime. As far as they are concerned, they are making the world a happier place.

Therefore, it is not enough for fellow Igbo people to feel mortified that such baby factories and baby-stealing stories are emanating from different parts of Igboland. The time has come for Igbo families and communities to stop treating pregnant teenagers as the worst sinners on earth. Pregnancy before marriage should not be encouraged, but if a girl makes such a mistake, she should not be treated like an outcast for life. Such stigmatisation does not discourage girls from having pre-marital sex. What it does is to make them devise means — no matter how atrocious — to ensure that they are not single mothers.

The sad truth is that most teenagers get pregnant because of naivety rather than promiscuity. The girls who are really sexually hyper-active never get pregnant! And even when they do, such pregnancies are terminated in a matter of weeks before anyone can notice.

In the same vein, the pressure on married women to have children or male children as well as the stigma associated with adoption makes many women undergo emotional trauma and also resort to illegal ways of having children that society will call their biological children. Action usually begets reaction. We must not cling to a vacuous moral high ground that drives people to worse crimes in their bid to be seen as chaste or well-trained.

No vacancy, I repeat

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]I hate to be Charged with Murder! [/color]

See the agbayas shaping our future on the continent



https://sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/935088_10151927225396729_1994309828_n.jpg
African Union at 50 years, leaders having a crucial debates on the FUTURE of the Continent.

Hope you know mine is not imaginary , always remember that

ijebabe: Eeyaaa

Then, I'm a magician

Do you care for a ride

adaobi123: no lol, its scary but in a magical way

Are you insinuating its magic or what?

adaobi123: its scary meehhnn ! what are they walking on ice ?

Can I come along

Flytefalls: YAAAAAY! I'm going to Florence next month and we are driving here . Pretty-ness!

How can beautiful nature scare you

adaobi123: some of these pictures are scary.

Some suspected hoodlums on Thursday, killed two policemen and injured unspecified number of residents in Imowo Nla community in Ikorodu, Lagos State.

https://punch.iwayafricanigeri.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/The-community-360x270.jpg

One of the policemen, named Ikpi Ikpi, an inspector, was said to have been ambushed in the early hours of Wednesday.

An eyewitness, who craved anonymity, said Ikpi and some of his men were going for a raid in company with some residents when he met his untimely death.

The eyewitness said, “It was around 4am on Wednesday when Ikpi went for a raid in the community. But unknown to him, some hoodlums from Ikorodu had laid siege to the community.

“Because the community was enveloped in darkness at that time, the Inspector and his men were unaware of the hoodlums’ presence. Ikpi was hit by a bullet fired by the hoodlums.”

He said the other policeman, who died on Thursday, was cut with machete on Tuesday, when the hoodlums numbering over 100 first invaded the community.

“On Tuesday when the hoodlums struck, only four policemen were available. The hoodlums attacked the policemen to send signal to the community. Three of the policemen ran away, but the last one was inflicted with machete cuts.

“The policeman, who was initially rushed to a hospital in Ikorodu, died today (Thursday),” the eyewitness said.

PUNCH Metro learnt that some of the hoodlums were members of the Imowo Nla community.

A community leader, who did not want his name mentioned, said, “Some of them are our children. They have aligned with some criminals to unleash mayhem on the community because they do not have the freedom to sell lands anyhow in the community.

Because of the invasion by the hoodlums, residents have fled their homes.

A resident, who identified himself as Wale, said fear had pervaded the entire area as the hoodlums usually come out in the night to unleash havoc.

It was learnt that some of the hoodlums had been arrested by the police.

It was learnt that officers of the Police Mobile Force and men from Area N command overpowered some of the hoodlums and arrested an unspecified number of them.

Head of Ifegbua Family in Imowo Nla, Chief Ishaka Aborisade, appealed to the relevant authorities to ensure permanent security presence in the community.

Aborisade said if not for the heavy police presence in the area, the casualties would have been unimaginable.

He urged the government to investigate those unleashing mayhem on the community.

When PUNCH Metro visited the community on Thursday, it was observed that the small community was heavily guarded by fierce-looking policemen drawn from the Mobile Unit and from Area N command.

http://www.punchng.com/metro/residents-flee-as-hoodlums-kill-policemen-injure-many/

A 23-year-old pregnant woman caused a stir at the Lagos State Police Command headquarters on Thursday after she confessed that she had sold her unborn baby for N200,000, in advance.

https://punch.iwayafricanigeri.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/The-suspects3-360x225.jpg
The suspects (inset: ‘Their children’)


The suspect, Adaeze Mba, who was arrested for conniving with her husband to sell their neighbour’s four-year-old son for N400, 000, said it was poverty that pushed them to crime.

She confessed that she and her husband, Chibueze, had sold two other children for N700, 000.

She said, “In March 2013, my neighbour’s son, Stanley Ezeaka, was following me about in the compound at Jakande Estate and it was at that time that my husband received a phone call from his partner that she needed a child for sale. My husband then suggested that we took Stanley even though he was a bit old.

“We travelled to Imo State the following morning and sold him for N400, 000 after which we relocated to Calabar.”

When asked why she took to crime and how she would feel if someone bought her own children, she said, “I am seven months pregnant and as I speak to you, my husband has already sold our unborn baby for N200, 000.

“I was against it but he convinced me to agree to it, saying he had already collected the money.”

When asked about the other children she and her husband had sold, she said, “The male child was sold at N400,000 while the female child, who was two months old but is now over a year old, was sold at N300,000.”

Chibueze on his part, said he went into the business last year. He said he had sold ‘only’ three children to his business partner, Benedicta Ogbonna, and maintained that the children were in turn sold to caring parents and not ritual killers.

He said, “One of the children was born by a mentally challenged woman; so I have committed no crime by selling the child to people who would take care of her.”

Ogbonna, who bought the three children from Chibueze and his wife at different times, said she sold children to bAREEN.

She said, “I am doing this business for humanitarian reasons and not for monetary gain. I am 35 years old and I have four children. I can never sell my own children and in fact my husband does not know I am into this kind of business.

“Chibueze brought Stanley to me and told me that his mother was a prostitute so he sold him to me at N400, 000. I then sold Stanley to Mrs. Patricia Anibogwu for N600,000. So far, I have sold only three children. I buy boys at N400, 000 and girls at N300,000.

“I use the money to take care of people and also invest it in my business. I sell shoes for a living at Anambra Wholesale Market.”

Anibogwu, who was the final buyer, said she thought Ogbonna was an employee of an orphanage. She said she bought Stanley because she was lonely having lost her husband.

She said amid tears that, “I was married for 28 years without a child. After my husband died, I decided to adopt the child because I was lonely. Someone introduced me to Ogbonna. Ogbonna told me she worked at an orphanage and would sell Stanley to me for N600, 000.

“I used my savings to pay for him and she brought Stanley to a roadside. I took Stanley home and started taking care of him like my own child. I changed his name to Uchenna. Ogbonna promised me that she would give me legal documents later but, unfortunately, I was arrested.”

The Police Public Relations Officer, Ngozi Braide, urged parents to be vigilant and also advised childless women to go through the formal process of adoption rather than buying children.

She said, “In March 2013, one Caleb Ezeaka reported at Ilemba Hausa Police Division that his son, Stanley, had gone missing the previous day, adding that he was last seen with his neighbour, Adaeze Mba. All efforts to reach the neighbour proved abortive as she and her husband had disappeared and their phones were switched off.

“Through investigations, we traced them to Calabar and they confessed that they had sold him at N400,000 to one Benedicta Ogbonna. We traced Ogbonna to Anambra who then said she had sold him to Patricia Anibogwu for N600,000. So we arrested them all.

“Adaeze and her husband, Chibueze, confessed that they had sold three children to Ogbonna and they were also rescued. One of the children was sold when she was three months old and she is now a year and three months old.”

http://www.punchng.com/news/pregnant-woman-husband-sell-unborn-baby-for-n200000/

This guy is a wicked soul and be should be hanged for causing those parents untold hardship.

Maria Taiwo Abati, the mother of the Special Adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan on Media and Publicity, Reuben Abati, is dead.


https://www.channelstv.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Abatis-Mum-300x300.jpg
Maria Taiwo Abati, the mother of the Special Adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan on Media and Publicity, Reuben Abati

Mr. Abati made the announcement of the death on behalf of his family.

The late Mrs Abati, 81, was described as a devout Christian, a very kind and loving person. She was born on 7th August 1931.

She was born into the family of late Samuel Jobo Arowotadina and Late Elizabeth Efundunke Arowotadina of Ijemo, Abeokuta. She was a trader at Kuto Market for many years and was popularly known and addressed as Mama Adunni or Mama Sunday.

She is survived by children, grandchildren and great grandchildren including Mr. Abati; Robert Abati, a Geologist with Dangote Cement; Ralph Abati, a banker with Fidelity Bank Plc; and Lanre Abati, an Economist and Chartered Accountant. She is also survived by her twin sister, Victoria Kehinde Olude.

Funeral arrangements will be announced later, the presidential aide said.


http://www.channelstv.com/home/2013/05/23/reuben-abati-loses-mum/

RIP Mama

What happened to Vision 2000 anyway

Good and yours?

ayobase: Wassup namesake...howz ur end?

I love them both, but I think Dagrin has an edge lyrically (RIP).

Came across this article, and i find it interesting to start with. Please read and Share Your Thoughts.


https://cdn.jaguda.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/olamide-dagrin-1000x500-e1369156679857.jpg

Article By Goke Gbadamosi

The progenitor of Yoruba Rap sub-genre of Naija Hip-hop is none other than Lord of Ajasa but after he disappeared into thin air, Dagrin stepped into the scene with his energetic rap and literally took over the street. Until his untimely death, music aficionados generally considered him to be the next big thing. Today, that next big thing is Olamide, another Yoruba Rap crooner. ‘Eni Duro’, his popular hit single, however came out before Dagrin’s death and my reaction was wowish. I immediately realized some stuffs were missing in Grin Baba’s lyrics; he hardly ever had any cause to go surgical on his lyrics. Since Olamide’s lengthy freestyle, that is ‘Eni Duro’, he has consistently stepped up his flow, dropped two LPs and refused to get out of your face. Despite his determination which is apparently paying off now, I believe like Dagrin, Olamide falls short in the area of lyricism, though concealed by his perfect vocal ability and swag. At the risk of annoying some of ya’all, let me shed light on that real quick.

Wordplay and quotables

The impression both Olamide and Dagrin’s lyrics give is that they are well-thought and thoroughly worked on. You and I know the magic that did on their respective fan base. Dagrin played with Yoruba and pidgin words and phrases easily no doubt and people loved it. For the exact reason Olamide is admired even more today. I realise that many of us get carried away by how they deliver their rhymes not minding even if it’s to the detriment of the structure, richness and stimulating effect of what they dish or dished out as the case may be. Go through Dagrin’s discography, put sentiments aside and listen up for quotables—popularly known as punchlines. What you’d definitely pick out in his songs are lines I refer to as “pseudo-quotables”, stuff that’ll make you say nice but never “oh shit”, stuff that’ll make you nod but never pause, rewind and listen even more closely. You wouldn’t consider something like “Omo naija mi o maga, mi o mugu/Awon Ibo, won n fi mi sere bi Ugwu” a quotable, would you? What of “Ashewo dey everywhere/even gay dey fear/say ashewo go collect all the boys for this year”? That is just as basic as it gets. Olamide is no different. I’m surprised that despite the level he has attained he could come up with a rhyme like:

We are not around here but we are here to stay, immigration

Shout out to the whole of my soldiers, we’re taking over, invasion

Or something like: “You said razz like omo mushin Olosha/but now you say I don fat like Wande Coal osha.” Punchy similes? Hell no. Study some of his lyrics here and try to disprove me.

Rhyme techniques

One privilege enjoyed by new school musicians who employ Yoruba lyrics is that most words in the Yoruba Language end in vowels. So you rhyme easily. Dagrin’s main rhyme technique is basically a combo of the said privilege and use of the perfect rhyme pattern. See an example of one of the numerous perfect rhymes used in ‘Make Doe’: “Your flow is so fake like clown/Let me teach you how to get down/We run this town”. And an illustration of the Yoruba vowels privilege as seen in:

Te’n ba wo s’ole bus-stop e lo ma ti b’ole

Mi o le fight fun e, mi n kin se Oshiomole/ O le beree mole, or ko ko mole/Lole, mo sha mope o o le wole.

Seriously, can’t anyone who one, knows nursery rhymes and two, understands Yoruba pen all that? I mean, the height of lyricism in any flow is revealed if it’s replete with alliteration, parallelism, adroit internal rhymes and more of crafty “similar rhymes” (boo/book) than “perfect rhymes” (book/cook). This ensures that the messages in their rap are easily retained even when they try to be at their crafty best. Study Olamide’s lyrics too and you could be disappointed too by sighting too many perfect rhymes. Don’t be surprised though, if you stumble on nice similar rhymes like:

Awon omo mi awon omo mi ni London

Awon omo mi l’america awon sturborn

Awon ti won ma twek l’ori you Tube

I know you love me, I love you too

I particularly like: “I can’t shout, oro po ninu iwe kobo/Body no be firewood, mi o de n se robot”.

Content

Content, in hip-hop, refers to lyrical elements and how the message(s) they help to convey. I remember how a popular artiste in one the tributes composed to honour Dagrin made commendatory references to the late rapper’s lyricism. And how after giving it a thought, I was like “err…not quite”. You see, the essence of lyricism is the overall message in a rapper’s flow and more of staying focused on it than showing off the various lyrical elements he or she employs in driving it home. But for a few exceptions, Dagrin often gets too excited with his flows that he veers of the topic he’s treating as revealed in some of the tracks on his CEO LP. The love I have for ‘What They Want’ for instance is ruined by his proclivity to digress. Olamide doesn’t digress as much as Dagrin but often burst rhymes that seem to be relevant to his message but when carefully reflected upon are disappointing. If you’ve listened to his two albums, Olamide appears to be conscious of the end game of every of his flows but usually punctuate them with stuff that just don’t add up. Stuff like:

Mo ranti gbat’ orunmi gun bi t’Agani Darego

So many JAMB questions, se ni WAEC or na NECO

Buh me never hold back, eruku makanaki

Moni metal, moni torch, but mi o kin se Zaki

On the surface, there seems to be nothing wrong with the line above but the success of the likes of Yeezus, Eminem and J-HOVA as formidable lyricists is hinged on their ability to mask deep messages beneath fly, nice-sounding yet seemingly mundane lyrics. Both Dagrin and Olamide are lacking in that department.

The Wrap

“It’s a rap”, an expansion of the exclamation “word!”, is an informal approval by hip-hop heads that a MC’s flow is flawless. No doubt, you can’t help but get that feeling every time Olamide drops the mic. He articulates his flow flawlessly like Dagrin. Also, credit has to be given to him for using appropriate styles to deliver the messages he passes across. In the same vein, Dagrin’s strength rests on his versatility and delivery. Perhaps, the best rap I’ve heard from Naija yet is ‘Pon Pon Pon’ because the energy on it is unprecedented and almost supernatural. Olamide’s energy is equally amazing. Unfortunately, imagine the timelessness their collection of works would exude if they had serious depth in their lyrics. Dagrin’s ‘Ghetto Dream’ and Olamide’s ‘Eni Duro’ are wonderful exceptions though. If both artistes were examined based on the two songs (and a handful of others), almost every point against their lyricism that I’ve labored you with so far would be wrong. Alas, you’re a lyricist if only one or two the songs you blessed with ephemeral contents are exceptions to what you normally offer. I’m sorry people; our prolific yoruba rap “legends”, the dead and the living, are the opposite of that.

http://www.jaguda.com/2013/05/21/olamide-vs-dagrin-lyrically-examined/

Good day Ayo.[quote author=ayobase][/quote]

Hello, I'm newbie welcome me

Caracta: Hello newbies, e.g Modella

You can add it and make it No.11

chi2012: How about Zuma Rock in Abuja

LOL!

I have to follow in your footstep by using left hand

ayobase: I have to stop forcing my brother to stop using Left hand then!

Hmmm!

And have to change to left hand now, and I was practising with it before o.....the power of my fathers's house must have stopped me from being lefie or ambidextrous.

Just being funny though......MODs, na FRONT PAGE MATERIAL be this, unless una no want everybody on NL to be leaders!

#3. John F. Kennedy's Eerily Accurate Assassination Theory

https://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/5/6/150456.jpg?v=1

The JFK assassination has made Encyclopedia Browns and Nancy Drews out of more conspiracy theorists than you can shake a second rifle at. That said, if you are expecting some big conspiracy-salad of government agencies and secret societies here, then you will be sorely disappointed. This coincidence comes from the lips of John F. Kennedy himself, just hours before his assassination.

According to "Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ye," by White House aides Kenneth P. O'Donnell and David F. Powers, when the Kennedys arrived in Dallas in 1963, they opened up the local Dallas Morning News and found a full-page anti-Kennedy advertisement "bordered in black, like a funeral notice."

https://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/5/7/150457.jpg?v=1
P.S. That was an ironic "welcome."

Sounds like pretty poor taste for any occasion, never mind for the arrival of a president, right? Well, it turns out nobody knew what kind of hostile territory they were entering better than the president himself.

Where it Gets Really Weird:

The ad rattled Jacqueline Kennedy more than the president. In fact, he tried to calmly reassure the First Lady that everything would be fine with these ominously prophetic words: "We're entering nut country today. But, Jackie, if somebody wants to shoot me from a window with a rifle, nobody can stop it, so why worry about it?" Apparently, he was a Mad fan.

https://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/5/8/150458.jpg?v=1

That exchange took place on the morning of November 22, 1963. As you probably know, Kennedy was assassinated that afternoon by a rifle fired from the window of the Texas School Book Depository. And if you're thinking, "Well, duh, how else would you assassinate a world leader?" The answer is, "basically any other way but that." Seriously, here's a huge list of prominent assassination attempts over the centuries. It's always a nut charging the guy with a pistol or knife (see: Lincoln) or some convoluted plot involving a bomb that never works (see: Hitler).

As far as we can tell, the number of prominent human beings who have been shot "from a window with a rifle" can be counted on one hand. It's simply not done that way. And if he simply meant, "We have protection against every possible assassination method except if some nuts shoots me from a window with a rifle, in which case we're utterly screwed!" then it seems like that's the sort of thing he should have shared with his Secret Service detail.

https://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/5/9/150459.jpg?v=1
"Thanks for making us look bad."

#4. The Vast, Left-Handed Conspiracy



By now we've cycled through enough American presidents that we've got a big enough sample-set to start pulling out patterns. For instance, it turns out we really like blue- and green-eyed leaders, since we've only elected 5 presidents with brown eyes ever, in the history of the United States. To be fair though, blue or hazel eyes among white men aren't that uncommon, and we've historically been pretty gung-ho about electing white men. They're not nearly as rare as, say, being left-handed.

While only 10 percent of the U.S. population is left-handed, you'd never know it just by looking at American presidents. It turns out that over half of the last 14 presidents were all lefties, and recently, five of the last seven presidents were left-handed. Keep in mind that up until the 1970s, kids were still forced to become right-handed in school, so it took a special kind of stubbornness to remain a southpaw into adulthood.

https://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/6/0/150460.jpg?v=1
[b]The scissors situation is enough to break most children.[b]

Where it Gets Really Weird:

In fact, in most recent elections you really didn't have a choice, since over the past two decades, nearly every presidential candidate has been left-handed. In 2008, both Barack Obama and John McCain were left-handed. In 1992, all three candidates for president were lefties: Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush, and dear old Ross Perot.


https://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/6/2/150462.jpg?v=1

We have some more pictures of Clinton using his left hand, but none of them are work-safe.

What are the odds? They're so long that the nation would never see something like that again until ... the very next election. As you may remember, 1996 Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole was left-handed, running against the incumbent, Ole' Leftie Bill. What the hell? It's not like there's some cultural bias toward left-handers -- we bet most of you had no idea any of these people were even left-handed at all, until we told you.

So what's the only other answer if not bizarre coincidence? That left-handers are secretly a superior race who are naturally born to rule the other 90 percent of society?

i.crackedcdn.com


[size=1pt]lalasticlala[/size]

The rational part of our brain tells us that there is nothing weird about coincidences; when you have all of human history to work with, you're going to find some spooky "What are the odds?" situations. But as we've mentioned before, it doesn't change the fact that some of these are truly and deeply weird. Like ...



#5. The Curse of the Dragon

Martial-arts legend and enemy-to-shirts-everywhere Bruce Lee might now be as famous for his "cursed" family as he was for punching people while screaming. We've written before about how his final movie coincidentally predicted the freak accident that would kill his own son Brandon two decades later. To recap: Lee's character in the movie is killed when a real gun is substituted for a prop gun, causing him to get shot for real. Lee's son would later be killed when a prop gun misfired on the set of The Crow -- not exactly a common cause of death in the modern world. But the more you learn about the Lee "curse," the freakier it gets.


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First, Bruce Lee was born on November 27, 1940 during the Year and the Hour of the Dragon. This might explain why Bruce's full Chinese name translates to "Lee's Little Dragon"; however, his parents always insisted on calling him Sai Fon (Small Phoenix), which is technically a girl's name. What seems at first like a dick move on the part of his parents to emasculate baby Bruce was actually a common defensive technique against demons in Chinese culture. Bruce's wife Linda wrote in her biography, The Bruce Lee Story: "Mr. and Mrs. Lee had lost their first son, and according to Chinese tradition when future sons are born, they are often addressed by a girl's name in order to confuse the spirits who might steal away their souls." Why do we bring all of this up? Well ...

Where it Gets Really Weird:

Linda Lee approved the making of a movie about Bruce Lee's life entitled Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. Throughout the movie, Bruce battles a metaphorical demon that haunts his family, but during a final confrontation, the monster loses interest in fighting Bruce and instead goes after his son Brandon.


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His constant mirror-breaking wasn't doing his family any favors either.


OK, you say, it's kind of tasteless that they would actually make a movie that included Brandon's real-life tragic death (and to blame it on a demon, no less), but what's so spooky about it? Well, that's the thing: Brandon was still alive and well when they shot the movie. The whole "Lee family demon is coming for Brandon next" was written and shot before he had his freak accident.

In fact, Brandon's death happened less than two months before the release of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. The filmmakers dedicated the movie to him, and when asked about the bizarre coincidence director Rob Cohen commented: "I believe in some forms of higher power, like Fate and sometimes, I'm embarrassed to say it, God." Yes, it's so much more comforting to believe in a god who carries out elaborate murder vendettas against random families.


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"Guess I'll just go after Bill Hicks now."


i.crackedcdn.com

Nice, which LGA?

ayobase: Emi Omo Onisabi.
Egba nile....Egbe rewa!
Omo Olumo.
Ile ominira.

The Gateway State!

Sorry sir, I've sold my respect

Phame: u are not serious. So, u nor rspkt for elders abi? Smh....