₦airaland Forum

Pjtech
Abba09
Realitykings
Livewire5
pinkNature
SamueItem337
ICTspecialist

These animals also need the blessing

LandMann:
Your issue is foundational.

There's a role designed for a man and there's a role designed for a woman in marriage.

Once you reverse those roles for any reason, conflict is bound to occur.

Your God ordained role as a wife in your marriage is not to be a breadwinner, decision maker or captain of your marriage ship.

You are ordained to be a home maker, life nurturer and pillar of support in a marriage.

While your husband is ordained to be a provider, decision maker and head of the marriage.

But alas, you and your husband have reversed some of the natural roles you're supposed to play and this is the foundation of the conflict.

My advice to you is to find a way to manage and live in harmony with your husband without hatred and bitterness.

You already made the choice to marry him knowing fully well you earn more than him. This is a mistake and you just have to live with it as kids are already involved.

You'll need to make sacrifices to be more present in your home and in the life of your kids cos that's your natural role.

You're supposed to nurture and take care of the home.

You chasing money and feeling you can pay someone to do your job of taking care of the home and supporting your kids in their learning will never be agreeable to a "family oriented man" who feels it's your responsibility as a wife and part of the family.

Maybe you need to cut back a little on the time and energy consuming hustles to face your family responsibilities.

You can chase all the money in the world and use it to get things done in your home but it'll never replace your own presence and touch.

You never thought of the problems and temptations that will come with you hiring other ladies to help you run your home (cleaning and teaching the kids) while you are out chasing money that can't buy life or happiness.

You should sit down with your husband and have a honest heart to heart talk with him about the future and what both of you can do to make your relationship better.

I want you to know that your work life is what is affecting your family life. You're giving more of your time and energy to your work life than to your family life. This is what is causing the friction in your home because your time and energy is limited and has an opportunity cost.

This should be at the back of your mind in your conversation with your husband.

You personally have to think it out first and reach a decision; can I cut back my time and energy on my hustle which will reduce my income, so I can focus more on my family? If you answer yes, then you can start doing the things your husband asked (keeping the home clean and teaching the kids) and with time your husband will notice the change and appreciate you more.

If you answer no then sorry, your relationship is headed for the rocks.

Just be wise and consider your children in your decision.

If you die, you won't carry those money to heaven or hell.

Prioritise peace and happiness in your home over all else cos in the end that's what matters most.

There's a lot to say but let me end it here.

A word is enough for the wise.

Cheers.

What kinda Peeps abi na creeps Igo call am,,, do we have on this forum sef....

Na wa ooooo

AmiableMosquito:
@OP, I know exactly how you feel. Really sorry about your ordeal but gambling is a dangerous addiction that may even be worse than alcoholism or pornography.

It will lead you to all manner of immorality just to cover up for your losses and the drive to chase your losses. You will lie, steal, become desperate, anxious, restless and you will even crave solitude more than anything else. It will strain your relationships and degrade your level of attention to more relevant things because all you will be thinking of is how to bet or recoup your lost bets.

Donating money for you isn't the solution now. Cos whatever you get, you will still bet. No matter how much you deceive yourself that you won't.

Now, read the following carefully;

1. Tell your mother what has happened. What's the worst than can happen? She would prefer to bear the loss of money than bear your demise if you kill yourself. You will be scolded and might be insulted. That's okay, you deserve it after all.

2. Write on a piece of paper or type these words on a piece of paper and paste in your room or on a book you use regularly. "Gambling will not make me rich, instead it will impoverish and destroy me. Make sure it is visible for you to see everyday.

3. Close all your online betting account. It's the fastest way to depression. If you cannot close it, call their customer care to help you disable the account.

4. Find an accountability partner. Find someone who you know can hold you accountable and to whom you are willing to be accountable to. Might be your mum but preferably a sibling, a close friend or your girlfriend. The person must be a serious minded person who cares about you and who is also not struggling with gambling addiction. If they are trustworthy enough, save your money with them going forward. Never be too confident that today's experience has taught you enough lesson. It's a lie. You cannot manage your own finances for now.

5. Avoid visiting bet shops for any reason. Whether it is to go and charge or watch football or see a friend or just to watch others betting. Please avoid it by all means necessary. Liken it to a slaughterhouse where ritualists slaughter humans. Well so, because gambling will kill you eventually.

6. Your life is worth way more than N960k.
Will you suffer for your actions? Yes.
Will you suffer forever? No.
Learn from this mistake and gather yourself together. Start an aggressive saving culture from 100 naira to as much as you can. Deprive yourself of any unnecessary indulgence or enjoyment. You actually do not deserve it after this loss. Let that be your penance. Save, save, save and save. Go out and get busy; an idle mind is the devil's workshop. Hustle as if your mum is in a life threatening condition in the hospital and you were asked to raise some money for her surgery (God forbid that). I'm sure you'd do anything legal to find that money...... Yeah, hustle with that type of mindset. Your life depends on it.

7. I am writing this as someone who has experienced firsthand the destruction and havoc gambling have wrecked in people's lives; from established businessmen in the East to bankers in the West and students in the South South. I have seen it all while I volunteered for GambleAlert. Marriages have broken, jobs lost, businesses ruined, trust eroded, relationships wasted, talents destroyed, lives wasted just because of gambling. Trust me, it's as destructive as drug addiction. I hope one day I will be able to write a book on it.

8. Do not think you can break free in one day. Like every addiction, it takes a gradual process to break free. Too bad we have more bet shops and betting ambassadors than we have betting addiction support groups in Nigeria. You will be tempted to return especially when you remember your losses. You will see yourself starting with small amounts thinking you can control your spending limits but gradually, you will find yourself doing big numbers again. My advise in this regard is that if you are not using your smartphone to earn money, do away with it for now. Use a small phone for communication, at least for 3 months. Whenever you are thinking of betting, think of how it has ruined lives and I mean promising lives. No one gets rich by gambling. The betting companies are not philanthropic organisations.

9. Finally, my bro, I am guessing you reside in the SouthEast. From my experience with GambleAlert, the S/E is the most burdened with this social menace. You'd see businessmen once doing well suddenly became paupers because of addictive gambling. Please run o my brother.

Gambling has and will continue to ruin many lives. When I am more settled, I intend to push forward an NGO that will fight for heavy regulation of gambling in Nigeria.

Pjtech
Abba190
Realitykings
Livewire5
pinkNature
SamueItem337
ICTspecialist

RealityKings:
How fa. How e go be

You wanna beg this early Sunday morning

These men

We women are endangered species... Ya Allah please keep every woman out there safe from this perv predators

Dtruthspeaker:
Not when you devils are the ones calling and drawing the men to Bleep like Potiphers wife and for sayingthat this, then its time to have a kkk which kills women who walk about naked. and sex inducing

And brother who is stopping you from starting a movement that kills those kinda women...

Your mum and sis would be the scapegoat

Sonnobax15:
stop talking shiit about men all the time...Cuz your gender also rape men but such men don't go about weeping about it

A quick question if a lady rapes you would you let the right know... No lie abeg

uchkochi:
Learn how to tame your lust. Its simple its little. Stop giving it fire!!!

Preach to your fellow men...


Endangering our species

uchkochi:
Men can actually control their lust. Just see the female fine body as EXCESS FLESH, EXCESS MEAT AND NOTHING MORE. DESIRES WILL QUENCH

Yeah easier said than done ..

Yaro please shift make I see road 🛣️

You men are God's greatest mistake

Can men ever control their lust

Most if not all got rapist tendency in em ....

It is in that gender's DNA to lust .. they can't help it ..

Baldwretch:
Yes, Southampton should win or draw the match. They are quite good actually. They average more completed passes than Leicester, so you're good to go.

If that is yours fears, then you should be all good. My fears would be your last two selections.

That Under 3.5 for Ipswich - Everton game and Arsenal not to lose to Bournemouth. Arsenal not to lose to Bournemouth at that odd is extremely low value to me. I would just pass. Fingers crossed. Let's watch and see.

Take a look at your nick

Bald and wretched... Ask abba09, pjtech and ICTspecialist

.. they will explain my point better

Trumpdonald5:
Let's be kind to everyone out there. You don't know what the person might be going through.

On the other hand, if you want to travel abroad but do not have the required bank balance to process your visa application, kindly check my profile.

Cn you be kind to me

Newlymarried:
Just 11 weeks and he looks like this,what if he had stayed 1 month,that's obituary!

The oppressors humbled him.

Please get your maths right

sonssyo:
@stacyadams, anything on the fire cooking for the weekend 😔😔😔
It's been a while though, hope you are good 😊😊

stacyadams knows there's in no life in gambling he prolly might have sold his ride his ride just to get extra 2odds like you guys call it...



Just quit this thing already .. most respected pal on here still remains wiseone


For the rest of you especially abba09 ... Nuf said

abba09:
i am still on it. I just adviced the guy

Iknow you can never quit

Just pray you don't die wretched

Rapist = men
Drug peddlers= men
Impersonators = men
Ritualist= men

Anything associated with evil na MEN

PJtech:
Good afternoon sir, how are you doing? Happy weekend

This one wants to beg so he can use the money to gamble

Mr gaby please do not enable him

God forbid... Those poor ladies must have been hexed

Very selfish man... And the crazy thing is that the eeeediot will still cheat on the two poor ladies

Rome wasn't built in a day


We really need to be patient in this country....

MarketDispatch:
Your wife does not care about your Japa. She only cares about what will make other men see her, woo her and run after her.

Just negudo comment
Who do una like this

My wife and I have discussed severally even before marriage about her getting cosmetic surgery after we finishe having all our children, which I’ve always felt is a nice idea. I've always mentioned that it should happen later after she is done giving birth

To me, her body is still in good shape, although not as great as it used to be but I understand it was caused by child birth



Men will always be one sided.... After reading the OP tales.. then itook my time to go through the comments ..

Almost all if not all sef made no sense... At the end they still body_shame the poor woman...

Now would you blame a lady for trying to look good just to avoid all this venomous gender

Men are the major problem of this world... They don't know what they want

They want a whhhooore who can be a wife at home and they also want a wife who can be a whooooreee in bed.. confused devil's spawns

In as much idont like your gender that don't mean Iwould wish bad for ANYONE


Iwish you quick recovery and may Allah answer your prayers

ICTspecialist:
God bless you boss.
My funds has so depleted ever since I started SRL and virtual.
Funny enough last two months ago I staked half of my salary (33k) on few odds (man City, Bayern, Real, and barca all on home or draw) very few odds staked on 33k and I won 97k.
But it's not certain most times they do fail tho but more assured than virtual.

So your salary is less than Lagos minimum wage.. 😂🤣

Abdul my mum's driver earns more than you

Omg ihave been wasting God given time on misssssscreants and none_entities

Mille:
Doesn't even include love or hate. Being a good or bad wife/mother doesn't automatically mean the person loves or hate husband/children.

Good wife - Does many of the things expected of a wife (by her husband or societal standards)

Bad wife - Doesn't do many of the things children (or the society) expects from a mother.

For example, you can claim to love your child, but if after they close from school, you put a tray on their head to go and hawk groundnut on the expressway, you are a bad mother.


Take this scenario that unfolded this year in the estate I live in.

Husband is the breadwinner. Husband loses his source of income while wife only has a petty shop just outside the estate. Wife is supportive of husband in his downtime. Takes charge of the home using her petty business, uses her finance to make him able to attend interviews, and uses her contacts to find him job opportunities, and ultimately lands him a job. Home was kept running smoothly without husband having to borrow from friends or family.

The truth was wife's business was not flourishing either during this downtime. Turns out wife, without the knowledge of the husband or anyone else, has been pimping out her 12 year old daughter to the Hausa men who do security for many of the houses in the estate. It was only exposed when she tried stopping after the husband was back on his feet.

In less than 3 sentences, do you consider her a good/bad wife/mother?

Can't give you 3 sentences (sorry)


She is a bad woman... No long cap...

Trying to uphold the "family" at the detriment of their kid....

Iwould never support such woman...


Modified____ women are extremely sacrificial... But a simple question... What was the husband ready to sacrifice to have the family together ?

abba09:
congrats

Subliminal way of begging

Just drop your plate... A_shamed man can't be "shamed" again

abba190:
go to hospital make them plastered ur left arm with bandage and get ur frienf to take u home and tell ur mom that u met with arm robbers and they collected everything and stabbed u in ur left arm

You see this eeeediot... You can never change...

You be poverty personified

Mille:
Yes. They are not mutually exclusive to each other.

People can be good fathers to their children and bad husbands to their wife. Growing up, I know plenty of good wives but bad mothers.

@bolded
Good wives = they love their husbands
Bad mother = they hate/maltreat their children



Na question idey ask

SamueItem337:
Bad reviews I have been getting from nairaland is discouraging me from getting the Ford Edge 2012 model
What do you think?

This broke earthworm will -0 in his account is talking

allah yajikansa