₦airaland Forum

That happy moment when you sit beside a hot chick and the pastor says; tell your neighbour 'I love you'.

I don’t have bad handwriting, I have my own font.

Sometimes when you are sad, no one cares,
Sometimes when you cry, no one sees,
Sometimes when you leave no one notices.
But FART just one time.

I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, "Man, you're such a Cheetah!" and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.

I never understood why smokers tap the pack of cigarettes before taking one out. Does that give you a better kind of cancer?

S.ex? No thanks. My life fu.cks me everyday.

BimiOne: Guy well done o, you really made me laugh!! More grease

Thanx Man! I will update more
tomorrow!

Whatsapp Disconnection
Kwaku: yo Peter wassup?
Peter: *no reply*
Kwaku: hello
Kwaku: oh Piero u dey?
Peter: *no reply*
Kwaku: hhmm, anyway, u dey kai dose
fine gals we see da other time...da
Sandra girl say she dey want ur number gidigidi waa...
Peter: oh sori Kwaku, na I make busy
small, Charlie - which one, da dark one?
Kwaku: Oh ibi so - u dey there wey u no
dey mind me.......kwasia! where my money dey

I was in the public toilet and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle
said:
Voice: Hi, how are you?
Me: *Embarrassed* I'm good.
Voice: So what are you up
to?
Me: Just doing the same as
you , sitting here!
Voice: Can I come over?
Me: *Annoyed* Rather busy
right now!
The voice then said
"Listen , I will have to call
you back, there's an eediot
next door answering all my
questions."
Me: Oops!!

The number of "followers" you have 0n Twitter does not make you better than any one else. Hitler had millions; Jesus had 12.....

A pastor waves his hand and the whole congregation falls but the camera man is still standing shooting the video.

The guy who discovered milk, what was he doing to the cow?

4xy+5x+-27b = b²-5x+(-14x) "Bleep this shiiiit, I'll work at KFC"

A wife suspected her husband of
sleeping with their maid, so she set a trap for the husband by sending the maid to the village for weekend without
telling her husband. At night, the husband told his usual story:''darling ,I want to go and watch wrestling match in the sitting room.'' He left and
the wife silently went to the maid's
room lying on the bed naked with no light. He opened the door, joined
her on the bed without wasting time
and without a word, he had hot sex with her, after the 5th round she said '' OMG, it is enough, i have caught you, so this is how you have sex with the maid?, but wit me you would do 2 rounds and tell me you are tired.
5 CRAZY rounds now, and you are
still demanding for more"!!!
The gate man replied."'sorry madam,
it's me oo Musa...,
I didn't know you are the one.

My lesbian friends asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said, "I wanna watch."

I am not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Indeed, If I was a rapper, my name would be "Lay-Z"

Did U know that checks have shown that the use of kk in replacement of ok is an exercise of "mental m.asturbation" & 'intellectual laziness'?

How come when your wife is pregnant all her female friends rub her tummy & say congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job?

"An army general was asked: 'Can you
forgive a terrorist?' He replied: 'God
forgives. Our task is to arrange their
meeting"

Ermmmm, is this Thread now Derailers Paradise? Anyways, anyone interested in cracking his/her ribs can check this thread 0ut. »»» https://www.nairaland.com/1490429/could-molestation#19044468 «««

At kofi's mother's funeral,kofi was serving food & drinks but kept passing by his friend kwame & never served him.As he passed by him again not serving him, kwame said....eii kofi,me too my mother will die ooo

You called the guy at 11pm and he
asked you to go and sleep because he
was sleeping, you decided to go to his
house from Taifa to Dansoman and got to his place at about 12:36pm after Knocking for about 5minutes he opened the door for you and got angry with you, after a long talk he said its late so you should stay and Go tomorrow.... at about 2am when you woke up, you noticed he was not in his room and according to you, you thought the guy might be an armed robber and had gone for operations.... You then took off your cloth and decided to go and weewee outside, then you found him in the chair at the sitting room sleeping.
You then woke him up forgetting you
were n.aked and when he woke up and
saw you, he began to touch you and then Molested you.... seriously girl do you really think this is molestation?
And some Policemen are keeping this
young man behind bars.... what is wrong with some people?....

Shout Out to All the Girls who feel they need to wash noodles before cooking it. I respect your hygiene.

Dear Sir,

APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
I refer to the recent death of the accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead accountant.

Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse because while I was in my hometown for holidays I heard the good news about his death so i quickly rushed back to attend the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead before applying.

Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his obituary as proof of vacancy.

You can't swerve me this time. Give me the job.

Thank you,
Yours Truly,
Kweku Boateng.

For all those girls that say, "all guys are the same": Who told you to try them all? Slut!"

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[quote author=Gondar][/quote]join us here »»» https://www.nairaland.com/1150216/official-black-stars-ghana-cafe/96 «««