frozen70:


I am ma'am
Don't mind her she will have sense bye force

Oops. Sorry ma'am.

I and her parent gave her soft landing reason I believe she's misbehaving. I want to start by spilting bills with her first.

eyinjuege:


Good questions, Acidosis.
OP, can you kindly answer the pertinent questions asked?
She's really not married to you, despite having a child with you.
She doesn't want to pursue a relationship with you either.
That shouldn't disturb the relationship you have with your child though and the responsibilities towards that child.
Also remember to be a father to your child and not just providing money.
See your child regularly perhaps once a month or once in 3 months if you stay too far from them, video call or call the grandma to speak with your child everyday if possible.
And lastly, let your own family/parents be involved in your child's life

Tor. I've heard you. Thanks.

Tradegood:

You did that after the first baby, not when you went back to her for a second baby.

And you think the parent, older and wiser than you with many years, are fools?
They are still trying to bear the shame of their child having a baby outside wedlock and she is just in 100l, you "want to come and go and add another baby"?

So why can't you wait till after Nysc to have another baby and control her like your soul desires?

The reason they are still tolerating you is because of the promise you made to them, they still see you as a responsible young man.
My opinion though.

Yes, I agree with you, if she is promiscuous, "marriage" did not cause it. But my point is, the kind of rights you are seeking to exercise over her is the kind married men have. It is like eating one's cake and trying to have it.

Does she also harass you with questions and suspicions, and monitoring your movements?

This is one of the reasons you don't have a child outside wedlock, it comes with many baggages and unmet expectation forget that Davido and wizkid are smiling on camera.

I really pray for you, may GOD help you.
You seem like a really nice and principled person who seems to have chosen the destructive path of red demon pillers.

They only tell you the nice parts;, have a child, destroy her womanliness, but the consequences, them no even sabi am!

Poor child, growing up under a roof with incomplete parents.
May he/she not be denied the right of knowing what growing up with daddy and mummy under one roof feels like.

May the two of you, "somehow somehow" sort this out.

Where did you see that I want to have another child?

ufotty2001:
Op you are the most Fool.ish person in the world right now.. allow the girl to go with another man!! Only what u should do is for u to send money to her for up keep on ur baby..

Lol not all of us wants a baby mama. Some wants to have a lady and build something with her. Seems that idea is outdated and foolish right? Oda. Ko buru

crackhaus:
I'm quite confused.

Is she just your baby mum, or is she your girlfriend?

We were dating. We had sex. She got pregnant. Gave birth., we agree on getting married, now she's gone. You get now?

Ishilove:

So who are you leaving your child for?

Ogbeni carry your cross.

I know you to always constitute nuisance on nairaland. Gedifok jare

Calibrator:
Why won't people have sense?


Your baby mama should be the one chasing you and your commitment around to come and make an honest woman of her not you sweating on her issues.



Mumu man!

By default, no one should be chasing the other. But as it is now bros, you're correct. I give up. Seems all the posts and threads I see about women is correct knan. God airpus.

frozen70:


As it is now, you are not even capable enough to take full responsibility of that child, so whatever you have for the child care, just send it to them Wether it is enough or not just send it to your child

Go and start finding your bearing, get a job and start planning another life

You may end up not marrying her as I can see, she is not faithful and not ready to suffer

You too, you are not faithful but at least you did not abandon the child

So go and hustle and get set as a man

By the time you are ready for marriage, just go ahead and make your choice and don't even look at her side, she is not loyal and faithful

As for your child keep doing whatever you want for that child

A woman who can't be loyal to you in hard times can't even be faithful to you in every aspect of your life

Thank you sir. I appreciate. She has been crying after o told her I won't pay the school fees until she pays half of it too.

She's been saying all sorts of manipulative things just cos I asked she pays half o. Lmao

Naijaolosho2:



Crazy how people support rubbish. I wonder when we'll get it right.

Some are pushing the narrative that loyalty should only be found in marriage. People should do whatever they like while courting. It is well.

salawustyles:

Guy I know how you feel my candid advice to you is to focus your energy on doubling your income so your child does not suffer forget about your baby mama women are loyal only to their feelings not your sacrifice you've served a purpose of giving her a child it's up to you to give your child the best . your main focus should be on giving your child the very best and giving yourself the best like you said you still dey serve now is the time to put in the work double your hustle do your part and don't ignore your child but ignore your baby mama move forward from her it will get better for you it you put in the work and lastly pray and pray for your child and you
ps find someone to help you keep a close eye on your child in times you're not around and don't let anyone take responsibility of your child
remember women are loyal to their feelings they don't think logically
God will see you through amen
if you can do a DNA test to as certain you're the father ( it's for peace of mind)

Thanks for the advise. I'm even done serving. Her arrogance is what is even making me feel something else for her and its affecting the child too. Mtchew. I hate stress.

Saintmary:


You are already doing what a married man does by providing for her, but you are denying yourself of the rights and privileges due to a husband simply because you are delaying your marriage rites.

Court weddings are typically cheap, why not do that first, then, do the traditional one later.

This idea on you people's head that I'm pained cos of sex or whatever is what I don't understand. I was not even having sex or these things u call "husband privileges" with her.

Her family complained bitterly of their people not having children out of wedlock and many stories like that. This made me stay with her at least I'll marry her so nobody got nothing on her. That was what I sacrificed for. Now this.. Just disappointed. Its not as if Ladies don finish for earth

Blessedmercy8:
When they say abstain from and shun premarital sex, you people will think we are saying trash. We are SUs that don't know how to enjoy life.

Now, see how it is messing with your life and emotions. Was it worth having the sex afterall?

I have nothing to say to you.

Lol. It has happened. I be Say now kowai

ImaIma1:
Face your child and leave the mother. She's not your wife. If she wants to be with someone else, move on.

I thought men are happily opting for baby mamas instead of getting married.

I've accepted that. But that was not our discussion then. I wanted to get married to her , she knows. Her family knows.. I've been introduced to almost all her extended families in fact. I'm just feeling like I've been stupid.

ImaIma1:
Face your child and leave the mother. She's not your wife. If she wants to be with someone else, move on.

I thought men are happily opting for baby mamas instead of getting married.

Not everyone wants the baby mama stuff. When she got preg then, I was advised to run as I was darn broke and couldn't offer anything. I stayed with her regardless and we pulled through, only for her to do this. I just feel hurt (like I should have japa then. Cos what's all the point of all those things I went through then?).

Kobojunkie:
First, what you need is to grow a brain!

She had a baby for you. You refused to marry her, but you want her to stay with you just because? She even get time to dey entertain you after all that. She suppose don block you a long time ago.

Do you think your sending upkeep for a child that is yours means you ought to be allowed access to the mother who you refused to marry? Do you think you are being milked for sending money used to raise what is your own child?

Please start using that organ between your eyes before it rots finish abeg!

You ended up spewing beautiful nonsense. We planned to get married when we "settle". She just got admission and I left for service in Gombe.

She used that as an excuse as the guy she's dating is in 100L with her too. Lol.. So forget marriage talks oga

Fahvvy:
OP....
I understand you're hurt...
I know you're disappointed as you expected much more from her,but "die" the matter ....

As long as you're allowed to spend time with your child whenever you want, then however she acts shouldn't be any of your concern...

Since she is using marriage as an excuse to cheat (I'm assuming you both are still in a relationship), then move on with your life...

But make sure you take care of that child

I'm just disappointed. This was someone that even wants us to take oath that I won't cheat when I get to Gombe o. Orisirisi. Thanks. I get you.

If it was to be the other way, people will say trash as I "got her pregnant and didn't do the needful bla bla". Sighs..

Beremx:
You got her pregnant and still want to tie her down? She’s not married to you na. Wife her if you want commitment

She's not ready for marriage. She just got admission into the University.

ibechris:
She can't be loyal to u.

Take it or leave it.

I don't even want anything again. Sadly.

Tradegood:
@hunterezi

You are not getting the point,

You think you have been nice to her because you have been faithful to her.
And yes, faithfulness is a very nice character don't get me wrong.
I do admire that you are faithful.

But here is what you wrote,
.
But you are seemingly selfish without knowing and she and every other person can see right through you.

She wants marriage, and that is what she meant by, "you are not married to her," but you have refused to get the point.
You just want to turn her into a baby making factory without commitment.

Red demon pillers want that kind of lifestyle but no right thinking woman will agree to be used that way.

I commend you for being faithful to her and you don't need to loose your self ideals because of her.

Trust me, your girl will keep searching for marriage until she finds it, either in you or another man.

Flee fornication, GOD says, una no wan hear.

She's just 22. I'm 25. It's not really marriage thing. She just used that as an excuse to flock around.

I discussed with her parent then that I'd get married to her after school and NYSC.

Mindlog:


You are very free as there is no marital commitment between you two, she is not your wife neither are you her husband.....move on with your life while you provide for your child.

This narrative of not being loyal in relationships except when married is quite appalling. But is it what it is..

Mindlog:
She is not your wife and do not owe you exclusivity as she is only a lady who had a child with you.

She is free to live her life as she so pleases, moreover the child is not living with her and
not exposed to the guy she is in a relationship with.

Continue sending your child's monthly upkeep, you can't switch off because you are angered by her mother's decision to be with another man.

Oh okay then. Thank you. Guess I've bee a fool for being exclusive to her all along.

Acidosis:

What exactly do you want?? A honest and faithful baby mama?

How are they milking the little you've saved? Who's supposed to fund your daughter's fees and upkeep? Your baby mama's mother?

Yes. Cos I've been honest and faithful too. This is how you people create demons in men who maltreat women. You won't understand. This is not how we planned it. I've sacrificed a lot of my life fr her. I felt betrayed. She doesn't even all the child by the name I gave her.

This is a girl that can turn the child against me in the future. Why sacrifice more and still lose?

Good day Nairaland Family.

I want to make this post as short as possible.

So, I had a baby with a girl in 2018 in my final year in school and I've been trying my best to keep her and the baby. (I created a post here then too).

Fast forward to last year I went for NYSC in Gombe and she got admission into the university. I returned for holiday last December, checked my girl's phone and saw that she has been seeing another guy in the school. The messages I saw broke me ehn despite all I do to please this girl still I forgave her (I was thinking it was cos of the distance that's making her see another guy). She promised to leave the guy bla bla..

When I left for Gombe, I noticed she has gone back to the said guy again. I confronted her and she said a lot of things to me. Bad things. I was perplexed knan. I never believed this girl can do and say such things. She outrightly told me that ive not married her and she can see any guy! She blocked me on WhatsApp.


Ever since then I've been sending upkeep to her mum who is taking care of the baby.

When I returned, I tried to make things up again cos I don't want to be having children with different women. But she declined and now her parents are supporting her.

Still, I do send upkeep. I've never missed a month. The thing is I'm sincerely tired of everything. I want to leave them with the child and not do anything with them again

When I get a job and be comfortable again, I might return cos they're milking the little I saved and its affecting me.

What do you think I do?

PS: She is still with same guy

SeedofAbraham00:

Sent.

Thank you very much. God bless you big.

[quote author=SeedofAbraham00 post=114649349]Good day all,

I am making this post in fulfilment of my promise to God. No need for much details, I am giving out N1,500 to 7 people to go for their interviews or to submit CVs. This is specifically for people who do not have the means to do so. So please if you have, don't partake in this.

I want to encourage you to keep trusting God, he will surely remember you. Keep praying you will soon begin to prosper, and then continue propering until you become very prosperous (Gen 26v13). When the LORD remembers you, keep in mind that He is the one that gives you the power to get wealth and more wealth (Deut 8v18).

To qualify, Kindly upload a screenshot of being invited for an interview or simply write how helpful the money can be in your job pursuit. The selection will be random as being led.
God bless. [/quote

I've interview tomorrow at Lekki and I'm staying at sango. 5930246011 fcmb Ige

Umedia:
Osibanjo cheered as he takes the stage.
Watch here:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeUWsnDQa5o

Pls don't be stupid. Post the speech and stop wasting our time.

This won't make someone even subscribe to your channel.

hunterezi:


Amen sir. Thanks so much for the advice, I really appreciate.

For the money? Lol I need a better job anyways

My girl clocked 2 last month. It's been God!

Kunja2:
no picture? We should just believe you like that abi

I'm interested. Yabatech 10k

Kunja2:
no picture? We should just believe you like that abi

I'm interested. Yabatech

Pls how much is Tecno Smart 3 screen? I am coming to ikeja on Tuesday

Good evening. I want to repair the screen and cabrator of my Redmi note 5. Anyone?

Esteemconsult:
When phone freezes or hangs, flash the phone

Can you help track my phone? I've the IMEI