₦airaland Forum

Jochabed:
Congrats,i hope it came without conditions.

na you sabi

Based on “research”, I have compiled a list of different kinds of people on your Whatsapp list.

Here they are:

1. Broadcasters
Once upon a time, some of these broadcasters chided us saying, “You press phone too much.” You have headache and next thing: “Why won’t you have headache when you are always pressing phone?” They have discovered the amazing wonders of “Wosap” and they no longer badger us for pressing phones. Nowadays, they send broadcast messages you probably do not read.

The other kinds of these broadcasters are just disgusting. We are so pissed at them that we have blocked them. Like, how are you less than forty and sending broadcast messages? Je ne comprende pas.

2. Morality Prefects
These people are from your religious centre, or probably that relative. They want to police your updates. “Dave, why are you wearing earring?” “Lisa, your cleavage is showing too much.” You make a Facebook update and type “sex”, and they ask you why you typed that vulgar word. They even preach to you. It’s not as though they do not fornicate or commit adultery. Lemme jus’ kip chot and face front. Mhmm!

3. That Annoying Fellow
It could be that guy or girl that has been trying to date you since 1769. They do not understand that pestering someone is not seductive. (Sigh) People are not even patient enough to seduce people. No! They will thrust the concept of romance in your face until it feels as though it were a bad stench. They probably text risqué stuff at you that pisses you off.

4. Evangelists
These people will send you broadcast messages from scripture according to whatever religion they practice. This reminds me of that married man that wanted to fornicate with me. Uncle was sending religious broadcast messages, o. (Laughs in wickedness.)

5. Ndi Sup
Out of nowhere, they text you “to check up on you”. Their texts mostly come at that exact time you do not want to have human interaction. They probably want something from you. “A toad does not run in daylight for nothing.”

Sometimes it is a delight reading their texts. That is if you really do like them. You two get to chat as if nothing changed. You probably miss(ed) them.

6. Amebo
They share links from different news site or social media platforms. They could be exhausting, really. Like, Shaquisha, I ain’t openin’ these links you be sendin’ me. Sometimes, they send stuff that is beneficial to you.

7. Slayonce
These boys and girls can change DP (display picture) for Africa! Everything they do, they must snap. You do not need to ask what they are doing with their lives: they have already given you info. Very narcissistic bunch! Their social media profile is the shrine they have built to worship their egos.

8. Business Partners/Colleagues
It’s just work, work, work, work, work, work. They have sane stuff to tell you. Except you two are friendsly, you do not get to chat much. Reminds me of Aristotle’s “Friendship of Utility”.

9. Snobs
They are never the first to text you. If they manage to text you, it is because they need or want something from you. The times you text them, they reply after ten million years.

10. Le Crush
A notification from them and your perfidious heart becomes a ballerina: it does ten fouettes, leaps into an amazing jete, and crashes off stage avec un bang. That is how pathetic it is. Because you are a proud someone, you stall before replying the text. That does not mean they do not have your mumu button. Ordinary text that you should send, you become clueless – you lose your ability to sew words together to make a coherent sentence.

If you have such a person on your Whatsapp list, receive strength. Like other crushes, it will fizzle out soon.

There are more, but as I stated earlier, this is the top ten. There is no way you would not have at least about five of these people on your list. It gets more interesting that you might be one of these people. If you are, all I can tell you is this: be nicer in 2018.

P.S. There are “Matured People”, too. They hardly change DP or status. Is there an award somewhere? Also, we have our close pals. We text them every day: there is always gist or someone (or something) to hate on together. That is what besties do: throw shade at people together and laugh in wickedness.

If love does not bring us together, hate will.

ClitoPen:
abeg wat does the hair look like?

hahahahaahhahhahahahahabahaba

wordbank:
Na d girl wey dey plait hair under 3rd mainland bridge

you mean am

hello nairalanders ....Donald Trump hair has been be disturbing my minds since on Wednesday, and now I'm asking who use to dress his hair,cos the hair is so scatter.

If you wish to know the types of friends to avoid, then you need to read this. “New year new me” always the common line for most people in the new year, but something never changes, and those are the type of friends most of us keep.

“Should I just dump my friend for no reason?” that is the question most people ask. I tell you, if they fall into the category of friends in this my post, you shouldn’t just dump them – you can just kick them out.

We are a subtle reflection of the type of friends we keep and if nothing is done, we just end up mirroring their traits. There are several types of friends to avoid in this New Year if you want to succeed, and I believe that you would end up seeing reasons for me.

1. The “Chicken Little”

The 2005 award-winning movie was characterized by an infamous chicken that was known for always screaming foul of everything. The chicken ‘ruined its reputation by giving out false predictions and analysis. At every instance, he felt that the sky was really going to fall.

If you have a friend who discourages you from taking action; who gives a negative expert prediction as to why an investment is bad, a business won’t succeed, why you shouldn’t take risks, how your career would get stalled because of your action, these are the types of friends to avoid this year.

Having a “chicken little” as a friend will make you believe the sky would fall by taking actions in life. They would want to make you wait till the coast is clear – which may never be.

2. The Praise Singer

Friends who never question your decision or motive when you confide in them should be the type friends to avoid if you really want to be successful. Having friends who are analytical and critical in reasoning is a plus. The ones who always sing your praises either to remain in your good books or for any form of reward should be discarded ASAP.

3. The ‘Poverty Minded’ Friend

Friends like these believe that making money is reserved for some special kind of people. They should be among the type of friends to avoid if you want to succeed.

The ‘art of becoming successful’ is alien to them. It seems like speaking Latin to a native English speaker. They are just happy with the way they survive, and won’t ‘stress’ themselves out with the hustle of making money.

They have the energy, but they just don’t believe that making money or becoming successful is possible.

4. The Lazy Pug

They don’t believe in hard work. All they want is the shortest cut to success. They aren’t prepared to take upon any project and make it a success. They always discourage you from working so hard. “Don’t work yourself to death” is their daily anthem to you. You should avoid this kind of friends.

5. The Dreamer

They believe they are gonna end up rich, but they have no plans to accomplish it. Plans, strategies, and efforts aren’t part of their life schedules. They keep records of the number of cars to buy, houses to build, and places to spend their fictitious holidays. If you keep such a friend, you might end up becoming a day-dreamer also. These are the kind of friends to avoid if you want to succeed in life.

6. The Complainer

This type of friend complains literally about everything – his shoes, clothes, boss, car, even air. When things aren’t going as planned, he nags and leaves everyone around depressed.

7. The Rigid Mind

This type of friends will always want to win in every argument. They see any idea that doesn’t come from them as irrelevant. Even when they agree reluctantly, they will reach any length to frustrate the idea just to prove their initial point.

Friends like these are toxic, and they should be among the types of friends to avoid in 2018. I wrote just 6, and you should join the conversation by adding yours in the comment section.

wristbangle:
u no well o

lol

Babydd:
Possible Solution.

1. Tell her you love her but not the child.

2. You don't want to father another mans son.

3. Let the child stay with another of her relative.

Then, off you go

solution 1,2, is more painful to tell her,cos she won't feels my love when her child's is left out....the users who talks about court above is also a good solution and your number 3, is nice as well...thanks

Babydd:
Possible Solution.

1. Tell her you love her but not the child.

2. You don't want to father another mans son.

3. Let the child stay with another of her relative.

Then, off you go

solution 1,2, is more painful to tell her,cos she won't feels my love when her child's is left out....the users who talks about court above is also a good solution and your number 3, is nice as well...thanks .

whitebeard:
well the child's feelings is top priority, u can go to court to claim the child as ur own, when the child is matured enough to stomach the truth, u tell him. Raising a child that's not urs won't be easy, cause of emotions, but u can control those emotions with love.

received with thanks.

ipobarecriminals:
even football wey start. 0-0. nah divorce. dey end am last last.She desire u.Dnt eat her ponmo and trowey

I don't wanna add More pain to her.

favourmic:
lover ni


ops just one question have you ever seen a football match that starts with scores 1-0

I should not start the match right?

Preshy561:
love her and her child.

thank you...short and clear point.

ipobarecriminals:
some single mom are. better by far than the numerous winches outside nowadays. That she work. is a plus,unlike those ones wey go tanda for one sikiratu/chioma from 10 am to 10 pm dey paint nail,fix jezebel hair,wear wristbangle,jump from tosyne2much 2 by 2 bed to okoro bed...I'm not saying. u should. marry her on pity ground. Take her to ur parents/ explain everything. to dem.If dey agree, good and if not,let her go in peace.

I'm.pleased with your response,
I like the part you say "single mother are far better one sikiratu/chioma who been wearing Jezebel hair,jumping from one bro to another " thanks tho.

Kooldon:
Your Tales By Moonlight Is Sweet But You Refused To Tell Us If You Are Sleeping With Her Alrdy.
She Is Truthful And Open, In Love With You Alrdy.
See Nothing Wrong Is Marrying A Truthful Young Gal With A Son

thanks for your response, we are not staying together, she is in ABUJA and I'm in Lagos,we have not had sex before cos I considered her story heartbroken.

Kooldon:
Your Tales By Moonlight Is Sweet But You Refused To Tell Us If You Are Sleeping With Her Alrdy.
She Is Truthful And Open, In Love With You Alrdy.
See Nothing Wrong Is Marrying A Truthful Young Gal With A Son

no we are not staying together, she is in ABUJA,while I'm in Lagos, we have not had sex before to be sincere, I love her,she is open to me I talked to her about myself as well.

biacan:
If she's actually interested in you she will keep the child with her mum or relation so you guys can get married..... but I still don't know why some people will lie in a new relationship....life is all about trust if you don't reveal things to me it means we can't be together......

thanks sister mi,her mom is staying with the child in the village, she loves me and I do too,she is really crying today when she was giving me the story,that's why i have to post this .

whitebeard:
Hmm..this is strong..hmm.mmm...hmm...mmm.

Hmm

So u love but she has a child, what do u think should be done to the child, let her know that the moment u agree to take care of the child there is no going back meaning that the father of the child cannot comeback and claim the child cause he is now ur responsibility. But u can also be flexible, let the child decide if he wants to meet his real dad or not if he appears..

I have spoken through myself.

That is my advice.

But seriously ladies, pls be careful.

thanks sir,the guy who got this lady pregnant has gone to married another woman,their marriage ceremony was on the 16th December last year,according to her,she say her friend attended the wedding and talk to her about it...currently the boy is staying with grandmother in the village while she is in her hustle zone, and now my fear is what if the guy shows up after now when I've take up the responsibility... should I go to court ?

Purebeerry:
Do all these and I make you CEO of my friendzone.

I'm waiting

there is this lady I mate just two weeks back,she is beautiful with good sense of managing my home,she is a good busines manager,she was doing office to office sales,to mentioned but some few,but today after she call and say she wanted to tell me something, she started narrating her story for me,mainly is all about the hardship she faced when she growing up,she lose her father when she was 5yrs old,and the guy who she wanted to settle down with broke her heart,the guy got her pregnant, then asked her to abort it,the boy is 3yrs, and don't forget during my two weeks with her,she didn't tell me about it that she had a child with another man,and the guy is no where to be found cos she lose his contact, this girl will call me and we can talked for almost 10-15minutes, she is currently using my picture on her WhatsApp, I do the same. now the question I don't like getting married to someone who had a child for another man,cos I don't know how I'm gonna treat the child, I love her but the child is my problems ,should I let go of her? and she might kill herself.
please help me with if you can advise.

Huee:
Oh really?! How interesting

very interesting

OceanmorganTrix:
Then ladies who are good with friend zoning will just take their chances

lol
.....no be lie.

HoluwaKoDeD:
True that! This NDA talk sha na anoda thread we suppose open for deir matter. The percentage of those genuinely admitted there by their intellectual and physical test is low...very low. They will tell you to study hard but @the long run it's...

no be lie

Benz4pimp:
Bull Crap!!!story for the gods!!!!You wake...You dress Up to go to work..You kiss your loving wife goodbye...You step into ur Range and zoom off...10 minutes later,dangote truck rams your ride and you are gone!!!HiV isn’t death penalty,try and be enlightened!!!

okay

Ever wonder if that nice guy is flirting with you? There are a few proven ways that can tell you if he is interested in you. While it’s difficult to read body language at times, it’s possible if you know where to start. Here are 10 ways that men unconsciously and even consciously let you know that they like you. Take a look, see what you see and maybe you will find your love right now.
1. Lovely smile
A lovely smile is actually a good sign and, when it comes to flirting, it’s one of the surest signs he is interested in you. If you notice that he is smiling at you, there’s a good chance he likes you and wants to approach you. Maybe he is shy, so why not show him your confidence and courage by approaching him first? Of course, if you like him. After all, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you approach a man first. Just smile back, initiate a conversation with him and don’t try to play hard to get. Playing hard to get is a great boost, but often it’s a big turn off for guys.
2. Shy blush
Perhaps you know how it’s difficult to flirt with shy guys, but it doesn’t mean that you should avoid such type of man. If you notice that a guy blushes around you, this is one of the most obvious signs he is trying to flirt with you. However, not only do shy guys blush, any guy can actually blush when he sees a beautiful girl. Blushing is a bodily function that we can’t control and if he blushes around you, he certainly likes you.
3. Eye contact
This sign is a little bit tricky, but surely worth paying attention to. Eye contact is important during communication and we need to use this form of body language as often as we can. Depending on how long a man holds an eye contact with you, you can find out whether or not he likes you. If he holds an eye contact with you for longer than an average person, it might be a sign he is interested in you. We all make an eye contact when flirting, right? It’s the same for guys. If a guy holds a short eye contact, he might also flirt with you, he is just a bit shy.
4. Mirroring
Sometimes men mirror woman’s actions without even knowing it. Mirroring is another sign he is flirting with you. This ranges from mirroring blink rates to mirroring manner of speaking. For instance, you are laughing and he is laughing as well. The thing is, it’s natural for us to mirror something we love. Besides, a lot of singles dating websites advise guys to use mirroring technique when flirting with girls, maybe your crush does this too.
5. Hands on hips
If he stands with his hands on the hips or places the thumbs in the belt loops, he might be interested in you. This way, he is trying to show you he is a confident man and simply true macho. I personally don’t like when guys use this way while flirting with girls, but still it’s one of the signs he is flirting with you.
6. A flirting touch
If your crush touches you, it’s definitely a sign he likes you. But, when a guy touches you accidentally, this is absolutely another sign to watch for. It means the guy is trying to get your attention and find any excuse to continue conversation with you. Do you like that guy? If yes, flirt back! Most girls ignore this important sign, but you shouldn’t do it. After all, he might be your hubby!
7. Head Tilts
The way a man tilts his head can also signify that he likes you. If he tilts the head towards you, this means he’s listening attentively to each word you say. This also means he’s really attuned to what you are talking about and he’s really interested in conversation with you. I love that amazing feeling when a man is listening to me. I always appreciate it, even if I’m not interested in that man.
8. Dilated pupils
Sometimes our eyes give us away when we don’t want them to. When we are attracted to someone or something our pupils dilate and they become larger. When we don’t like someone or something, our pupils contract. If you notice that the eyes of the guy keep dilating, it’s one of the most obvious signs he adores you and is highly interested in you.
9. Raised eyebrows
You crush may hide his eyes when he is around you because he likes you. He can keep his eyebrows a little bit raised as well. If his eyes are widened and his eyebrows remain raised while you’re talking, this is definite sign he is flirting with you. Watch for it and you’ll surely see it!
10. Fidgeting
Do you fidget when you are around the guy you like? I’m pretty sure you do and it’s okay. You are just nervous and it’s actually a good nervous. It’s all about expectation since you don’t know whether or not he is interested in you. If you see him fidgeting, this is because he’s interested in you and he is a bit nervous to start conversation with you.

THE OTHER SIDE OF COSMETIC LIFE YOU saw him in a facebook group: •U check his Profile picture. •He Drives A Range Rover Sport 2016. .He is handsome. •He inboxed you. •You reply, all excited. •You'll want 2 hook up. •You set a date. •You dress up that Legging With No underwear. •Smelling good. •You put on a make up - fresh breath and new weave. •He takes you 4 lunch @ Serena Hotel. •He Takes you for - Drinks At Java. •You two have a good time. •He rubs your hand, •Makes you laugh, •Gives you looks and smiles. •You stupidly fall in love. •It's like you've known him Forever. •He takes you to his apartment. •He makes you feel comfortable and lays u on his bed. •Kiss you passionately. •You love his aggression, strength, power and you give in. •It feels good. •You know it's wrong, but it feels good. •You ask for protection, he says it's too late. •You obey and don't disturb. •He says he loves you and you don't hesitate to say you love him too. He hits it nice and slow •After, he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water. •He helps you drink it, ooohh man. •You feel special. •"He must be the one" you think to yourself. •You get dressed. •He takes you to the taxi park. •He kisses you on the cheeks and says •"I had a great time," •Gives You cash. •U smile and say. •"See you tomorrow babe." • He stays silent. •Your taxi drives away, •In the taxi u can't stop smiling. •You get home and inbox him that you got home safe. •He is online, but doesn't reply. •It's unlike him, so you inbox him again. •He doesn't respond. •Minutes later you can't find him on ur friend list. •HE BLOCKED YOU. •Days, weeks, months passes by. •You start feeling sick, weak, loose weight, act strange with sores in your mouth. •You go to the clinic. •Get tested. •Minutes later, •Nurse walks in."I'm sorry. You're HIV Positive and Pregnant!" •".HOW ?" •You don't understand. •Reality hits you. •You walk home. •Scared. •Confused. •You go to the bus stop. •You lay, hopeless, emotionless. •You see death coming nearer. •You look into the sky & mumble a prayer. That's the end of you. Don't be that girl !Live well. Stop Chasing Material Things. Stop chasing SPONSORS!! Be A Girl You Want Your Daughter To Be! TO ALL THE LADIES. LIVE A LIFE NOT A LIE. I know you don't wanna share this post but just do it for the sake of our generation. You will be saving a life or lives.

A new relationship is a time for getting to know someone knew, experiencing those butterflies and being absolutely crazy when it comes to obsessing over them and every detail of your new relationship. We're all guilty of becoming detectives and experts in strategy when we're on our own and with friends. Chances are, they're doing the same thing too.
1. You'll obsess over texts
You'll analyze every text they send, combing through every word and emoji to find some secret meaning. And you'll spend ages perfectly formulating a response back, trying to leave just enough time to be just mysterious enough.
2. You'll talk to everyone about them
Whether you're analyzing texts with your friend, going into detail about your date last night with a co-worker or finding a way to bring them up in a random conversation with an almost stranger, you just can't stop talking about them.
3. You overthink every outfit
Is this too slutty?
4. You stalk them
You'll find yourself scrolling through their Instagram and Facebook, reading their tweets from 2012 and learning random details about them, like how they hurt their leg in California on vacation with their family or their distant cousin's name.
5. You stalk their friends - especially girls - in their pictures
Are they dating? Does it look like they've dated? Are they just friends? Is it his sister? Oh, it's his sister.

free2ryhme:
why you dey hide your result and book space at the same time
you sure say you get brain for banking and finance

hahahhhhhhhaaaaaahahqabqhaq Sorry the result no want upload ooooo

help me out nairalanders
or you can give me alternative course that I can study with ...
thanks.

vingeophysicist:
okay no problem.Airforce has one of the most corruption-free admission processes in Nigeria.Anyone hoping to join them must be physically and mentally equip to be admitted.so you just need to meet the demand I highlighted and boom you are there.

thanks.