₦airaland Forum

thank you all for your replies. i'm really unhappy about the whole situation, thinking that trying to be a better man to be able to bring bread to the table and a roof over our heads was a bad thing to her and her family.

otokx:
the fault is all yours and its common with u guys abroad. U keep shifting the goal post. Masters then job then good job then phd then this then that. Get a gal based over there.

i really thot that making use of all my opportunities was a good thing. i thot getting a job here will be better cos how will it sound if i got married and not have a job? with the situationn of things back in Nigeria? you know that it is much harder these days from what i read in the news everyday.

she wasn't my first girlfriend, but the first girl i would love so deeply to decide that we'll one day be married. she was the very first and only girl i'll ever introduce to my parents as well.

^^^all this started within the past year. I got here about 3 years ago.

[b]This then brought the next shock for me. I got a call from her sometimes in January that she had decided that she could not wait any longer for me. I was very surprised. I asked her what she meant and she said that because I couldn’t make up my mind, she was going ahead to get married to someone else. She said this person (a manager in one of the top generation banks and the son of one of the high-placed political leaders in the country from what I heard) had been bothering her for marriage for quite sometime but she had been putting him off because of me, but since it seems as if I don’t want to make up my mind, she was going ahead to his proposal. I had to call her mum to ask what was going on. Her mum was like she doesn’t know what I’m doing over there, that all this while they had been patient and that she doesn’t want her daughter growing old in her house and being a disappointment to her and bringing her name to shame. I almost started crying right there on the phone.

Ever since then, life to me has been meaningless. I mean, is it a crime to try make an effort to make myself a better man? Everything is just like a dream to me. My brother called me on Monday and told me that he heard the wedding was the talk of the town, that so many dignitaries and crème – de – la – crème of the society attended the weeding. It was even televised on several TV stations.

I feel so empty and all my desires to succeed in life just left me. I even wonder – am I to blame for all this? Is it partially my fault to have let it drag on for this long?[/b]

[b]I finally flew to Canada and started my course. I called her everyday after I got here. I had planned that come June 2010, I would take a few weeks off and fly down home to Naija to see everyone, but on the day I planned towards I had an internship interview which then led to me getting a job in an insurance company. I had to push my travels to Xmas time. all the while, I had been discussing things with my baby back home and it soon developed into her family asking her when I was coming back home. Come xmas time, the day I booked my flight, all flights were cancelled due to a snow storm which lasted a week, and I couldn’t travel anymore. Definitely she was not happy, and it soon led to us having arguments about my not coming back home. All that while I was looking for a permanent job as what I had planned and told her was that I wanted to get a job too and once everything worked out, I will come home and we will get married.

Very soon, she said things were getting hard for her back home, that all her folks and friends were putting a lot of pressure on her on this issue. A few of her friends got married. I pleaded with her to be patient, and that if she really loved me, she would wait for me and damn all those who were on her neck to get married. At least it’s not as if I’m just lounging around in another country doing nothing.

I forgot to mention that one of the things that caused all this was that when my mum flew home for holidays, she had planned to go talk to her mum about us, but due to some other issues that came up, she couldn’t make it till she left. When she got back here, I asked her to call my babe’s mum and she did, apologizing for not coming as she planned. I had also told her (my babe) that if I didn’t get a job, I will go ahead and apply for a Phd study. All these seemed to get to her head and she mentioned that no one seemed to see her as being important in my family that if she was everyone will be like what plans I have for her, and some other blah. I knew it was her emotions that were doing the talking for her so I let that fly. I therefore promised that no matter what happened and no matter what came up, before the end of this year, we will have been married.[/b]

[b]I never knew my heart could be shattered like this. I never knew I could be betrayed by someone I loved so much. But somehow I wonder if I am part to blame for what I find myself in now.

It all started some years ago (2006 to be precise). I met a girl where I served in one of the states in the eastern parts of the country. We both started a relationship, and coincidentally, we both came from the same town.

At the end of our service year, we both went back home. By then we had both fallen in love with each other deeply and we both introduced each other to our respective parents.  As it is evident in some cultures, I think once a woman has reached a certain stage in her life, the pressure to “bring home her husband” begins and it was not a surprise when her mum called me one afternoon to see her in her office. She said she had seen that I had been with her daughter for sometime and what were my plans for her. I mentioned it to her that indeed I did love her daughter, but the thing was I had planned to go for my masters degree in order to further my studies and with that, I’ll be able to get a good job and be able to get married to her daughter and we’ll be able to raise a family. She was like she didn’t want her child to grow too old before then and I told her that everything will be perfect, by God’s grace.

To show my seriousness in the whole thing, my parents and I went to visit her parents about 4 days before I travelled out of the country. We made our intentions known and we promised that when I’m through, everything will come to play. I thought it was going to be that easy.[/b]

I don talk say i no go call this girl until she apologises for what she said. for the past 3 days now she no call. e be like say i go just bone dis girl and move ahead jare.

I no dey try behave like pickin, but in the past na me dey always do the calling anytime we have a disagreement(most of which are majorly her fault), but this time, i no go bulge. i wan show am that she no fit dey control me. if she calls, fine, if she no call, chikena. no be she be the only girl wey dey this world. it was fun while it lasted.

E don dey vex me now as this babe dey behave. Wetin dey do am sef? I heard somewhere dat it takes two to make a man-woman thing work but e be like say dis Ghanaian girl get craze for head.

I bin yarn am for Friday say make we go NYC together make we go jolificate for Time square for the 4th of july celebration, but she talk say she get social work do so she no fit go. She come call me later dat nyt, but man don dey sleep. Na ihn I yarn am ontop fone say I dey sleep say I go call am the next day(which was yesterday).

I try call am for morning, na voicemail I dey receive. I drop am voicemail after about 3 attempts, she no gree call back. Na when I dey comot NY na ihn I come get across. She come dey tell me say she deliberately comot my number make e direct my calls go voicemail. I yarn am say wetin do am, she talk say i brush am comot phone say if na so I go dey act, she no go dey waste ihn time receive my calls. See as man vex yestaday.

Wetin dey do the girl sef? Abi na because I dey take style try romance am na ihn her head no wan correct? Abi na the fact say I dey gree am play with my koko, dey pour my hot akamu ontop her B-sized melons na ihn her brain no wan function? Dis no be her first tym wey she go dey mis-yarn trash like this and e be like say I don reash my maximum capacity with this babe.  She get thi skinda attitude wey dey always vex me but as the man, i dey try cope with am. If i no call am she no go call me. I do most of the talking and she go dey yarn trash ontop am. No be say I dey try use and dump dis babe as I dey try see as things dey go with us, but dis her attitude dey vex me.

Wetin sef ?