₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
I had kids early, my kids are teenagers now, and they do their things themselves, don't care or think about me except when they need something from me. I prefer to have kids later in life if I do it again. I should prioritize myself over anyone, kids or family.

You have helped me see it from a different perspective. Thank you.

Nnamdipapa:
I used to think like that too but this is mental programming from our society which has been ingrained in us from birth. Your happiness or success in life does not depend on having kids early or late. I have kids early and I regret it because I had to spend all my early adulthood tending to kids. I know what I had to give up for this.

Kids are raised with resources and if you have invested and worked for some time before piling on responsibilities, you will be able to take care of your kids and you can even pay others to help out instead of spending your early adult life being stressed out.

I had mine later than the average person and I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, a big disadvantage is that I won’t be there for my kids for as long as those parents who had kids at a younger age.

I agree. But the biggest disadvantage is that you get to have kids rather late so you might not live long enough to see your grandchildren.

Isn’t it what marriage is about? Which one is pact now?

Nnamdipapa:
I believe she might be lying or acting up with the depression angle because she had to leave her job and stay at home full time as a result. That's what I told the husband though.

Then there is still three kids under five. How do you have energy to cheat after three pregnancies and with toddlers around the house?

I don’t buy.

Three kids under five, antidepressants and the woman still has energy to be sleeping with a man she met in the church? Story.

Changing pampers is rocket science now.

tonymyke4life:
In as much as many people here made valid opinions, las las, pikin wey wan spoil go spoil. U can train s child in d best way, make at d end of d day, d pikin fall ur hand. It's all about Grace. Sometimes, parents give birth to 3,4,5kids at backups, because nobody knows wat tomorrow brings. U fit get 1, make dat 1 give u headache, pass person wey get 4. So it all boils down to d couple and how dey plan their family according to their strength in all areas.

You are right.

pocohantas:
I do not think I can give the best to my kids if I have more than 3 (pushing it too far). I didn't even get the best attention'wise. So I take this very serious.

All I know is that we get to do it only once with our children until they grow up. Until then, I want to give my very best. If they fail, they will have themselves to blame, not me.

GloriousGbola:
from his moniker he is likely from the north where they are taught to celebrate having plenty of children

you will see politicians every sallah doing picture of 4 wives and 20 plus kids a s a flex. the message is these are life goals. have the kids and Allah will sort out the rest of it.

one time on our class whastapp group one guy was celebrating this . i asked him who IS GOING TO RAISE 20 KIDS? He said that is the womans job.

this may also explain why a lot of the hausa kids i knew in school simply had no regard for basic societal norms. three kids is enough stress esp when tehy enter puberty. how do you actually handle 20 plus?



it is good for children to learn some responsibility, but if they are forced into COMPLETE responsibility in their childhood, their imagination /creativity and ability to actually develop ideas will be stunted forever.

There is this Arab family where I live with 8 children. The two oldest ones always look after the younger ones at the playground. It took one year to see their mother and the father once. Last year the oldest one was dragging an almost two-year-old around playground aggressively. I got upset and wanted to tell him to stop being so harsh on the little one but then felt sorry for him. He doesn’t seem to be older than 16 and shouldn’t bear this kind of responsibility constantly. This year he took the newborn to the playground. Can you imagine a 16 or 17-year-old alone at the playground with a newborn?

Oyinbos have seen enough and called the child protection services. Now they barely show up at the playground and only with the parents.

Another family has 5 children. The parents take good care of them but the oldest boy can barely swim which at his age is an anomaly in the West. The father works and the mother is unable to take all kids to the pool because she can’t watch all five of them to keep them from drowning. When his friends go for a swim on hot days, he stays back.

I don’t know how they will equip all kids with digital devices for school as schools go digital now. They can’t share one device during lessons or even to do homework.

What if your kids play basketball or tennis or chess, which match will you see at the weekend?

I’m the least materialistic person, as my husband says, so it’s not only about money for me. How do you divide your attention? These men who say that it’s only the mother’s job to raise kids are irresponsible.

It’s also interesting to note that in the West it’s mostly foreigners who have lots of children. If you see a white family having lots of kids, 9 out of ten times it’s an uneducated low-income family.

Nice one. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves.

11 more characters needed.

IjeBos:
I think they have backed themselves so far into a corner by hyping this up for so long, that they are now looking at the best of the bad choices.
Muddying this by having her testify and deflecting from Trump and then pardoning her in 3 years is probably the best of these bad choices.
That should make everyone wonder what is in the files that Trump is going to these lengths to keep from coming out.

Everyone but his supporters.

AmazonTopaz:
That she doesn't mention him or what?

Yes.

It’s hard to give advice when we don’t know why she is shouting, how many kids they have and how old they are.

AmazonTopaz:
I don't want to believe that Orange Mussolini is surrounded by idiots even though I know he is but pardoning Maxwell will be a bad look but who cares.

The aim is for her to mention Democrats and spare him.

I still wouldn't be surprised if she is silenced in prison or after the pardon.

He won’t pardon her until the end of his term. This will be the deal.

Marriage is what two people make of it.

Mom is right. Definitely a red flag. A huge one.

cococandy:
This what y’all’s president posted on his official page.

An AI video of Obama being made to bow down to him.

The childish obsession and jealousy he has for Obama . Eeek

Maybe someone told him if he posts another one of his deranged posts, we will divert our attention away from the Epstein files and forget he’s in them.

Repulsive.

Nonsense.

Double0h7:
I’ve never felt entitled to anyone’s car. If I’m travelling to and from a location, I sit on whichever chair is available. I just don’t put any importance to such a thing. It’s a very childish mindset. An adult worrying about something so trivial is problematic in my opinion. I offer the front seat to anyone that can’t comfortably fit in the back seat. It’s just not that serious.

Exactly.

cococandy:
When you ask yourself what could make an otherwise reasonable and responsible person support Trump. This is how. They rationalize and rationalize until there’s nothing left of their minds. Mind’s gone. Empty

This is sick.

IMAliyu2:
Elon has been training his bot on Nazi posts and propaganda.

Remember when all the schizos on here were bending over backwards, to defend and deny the Elon Nazi salute??

Hard to forget.

Yes, I cook and eat more rice than before marriage.

If I were you, I’d address it without bringing up the chat. I’d simply ask her what she thinks a couple should share with their friends and siblings and how much. Just start the conversation, then voice your opinion and try to find some common ground.

cococandy:
Everything is communism to the right wingers except when it’s time to use public funds to prop up billionaires who hate paying their workers enough to survive on 🙄

He thought he typed an intelligent comment and looks like a complete fvvl now. That’s the kind of people that are easily manipulated to vote against their best interest.

basilico:
That's not the only message .
So much from him showing his socialist beliefs tending to communism has been in the public last few weeks. Maybe I should consolidate everything about him in one post whenever I come across anything new?
If it looks like a duck walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it must be a duck.

Trump suggested he be investigated. Two top democrats crawled out of the woodworks lending him support. Hakeem Jefferies and Gov Hochul. Mamdani is the face of the Democrat Party today . The far left socialist cum Marxist cum Communist agitators.. This stench when well crafted will ensure Republicans retain the House and Senate.
Why he is a communist ...
https://justthenews.com/government/local/mamdani-and-fact-checkers-deny-he-communist-his-own-comments-suggest-otherwise

I don’t have time for your nonsense. Which of these countries is communist for providing social housing to low income groups?