₦airaland Forum

doggedfighter:
There's something off about this meal except it's abroad style.

You don’t have to eat it. I enjoyed it.

Chicken soup with noodles and gizzard.

Lunch.

Caleycash:
NO!, it takes a woman who's submissive!, going to your man's church is very prime, depicts you're following his leadership, lots of men out there are are idiots, what she wants is invalid when you actually cares for her and you both kids, if you're not doing well she won't even be there with you in the first place!

Please find this submissive woman whose wants are invalid to you and let other men and women run their homes based on mutual respect. May we all be happy. Bye!

Caleycash:
Right thing is to follow him to his church not hers!, I wonder why you all love all these soft narratives, a man is tye leader of his home, I don't even pity men like him, he's obviously a very big SIMP!

Find a woman who loves her man to be totally inconsiderate of what she wants and you‘ll be ok. Good luck!

Beautiful!

I doubt this is true.

Yummy!

BlindAngel:
We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

Why are you so concerned to be called wicked? The fact that you gave in because you were afraid the crying would have a negative impact on her after CS shows that you are not wicked.

Why is it so important which church you people go to? Take turns. This time it’s her church, next time it’s your church. Problem solved.

Lawly:
I felt am in love and overlooked her issues. But after proposing and going to see her people, that's when her demanding attitudes and stubborn insistence that my baby brother should leave started. It's becoming a horror to me now that she might not care about me. Even knowing that am currently jobless but am the hustling type as well and that I have been struggling hard to meet the demands of bride price and lists from her people and all the expenses to be made all alone on me, she's still making annoying demands and adding expenses I must make for her personally despite the fact that I have told her to pipe low her demands until the marriage is over considering that am the only one shouldering the expenses alone and am not expecting help from anywhere as no one is there to help me.

Anything that bothers you now will only bother you more after marriage. Don’t rush it if you have so many doubts. Marriage is till death do you part so you better be sure that this is the person you want to spend your life with. Nobody is perfect but you need to figure out which flaws and shortcomings you are able to tolerate for the rest of your life.

You have given a number of reasons why you have doubts. So why have you proposed to her and gone to see her parents if I may ask?

I don’t like this thread at all. It sends shivers down my spine. Nothing is worse than losing your child.

Italian

Magicalsineros:
How do you handle a partner that keeps
malice for a long period of time?
Like you both can be in the same house for weeks, months not communicating properly?
What would you do?

Are they really marriages out there that experience this kind of lifestyle?

Why are you asking?

I have seen people not talk for days or 1-2 weeks but months even though they live under the same roof?

Some people are quick to forgive, others aren’t. If your spouse needs time, give them space. Go about your day happily and let them sulk if they want to waste time being angry. If this is enough reason to get a divorce, they had no business getting married in the first place.

shortgun:
Some wicked women have pushed many simple men to their untimely passing using emotional blackmail.
It all started in our homes, our mothers will incite our fathers to beat us mercilessly making us feel our fathers hated us.

Your mother, not our mother.

;

Maj196:
They always blame men for everything going on in their lives... Men-opause, Men-struation

Men-struation is a sign of fertility. It’s not a bad thing, neither is menopause, as it is the transition into a new phase of life and an important and useful one.

sylve11:
Be like this marriage matter fit give person brain tumor o.

You hardly see a happy couple these days. If you see the couple that are happy in their marriage, it's either they are pretending or they just got married.

It seems the older generations had it better than what we are seeing now.

May God help humanity. 🙏

How do you know the happy ones are only pretending?

UjuJoan2:
I think your husband’s behavior is as a result of his own childhood trauma. Maybe he has a very rigid childhood that affected his self esteem and he doesn’t want the same for his kids.

Also, your children sound young, how old are they? Sometimes all they need is to grow up!!! My own kids almost gave me HBP and I swear, I used to wish I didn’t have kids. Sometimes kids are just that way, and it may not necessarily be because of you.

Also, why did you buy the iPads for them?. My kids didn’t even have iPads until my oldest turned 10. Now if I tell them to drop their devices, they have other things to do. For this summer and I made a list of activities with over 5 hours of screen time daily. They happily comply with it because they know they will eventually get to use their electronics. I refused to buy some extremely distracting things like PS5 and other games. I will not use my hand and give my children temptations!

As for your husband, have you ever had a deep conversation about this with him? Have you calmly explained to him why you have all these rules? Some men just see our rules as “wickedness”, especially when they had wicked mothers themselves. Also, some men just do not understand how frustrating unruly kids can be.

My husband used to do the same until he started seeing their unruly side. Because of work schedules, he’s hardly home alone with them, before he gets back they are tired from the day’s madness and I’m done with my “shouting” for the day, so he never really understood how bad it was. Until his work schedule changed and he spent more time at home with them.

Everybody wants well-behaved kids, he just needs to understand the reason for your actions. Also, how do you go about talking to them or trying to discipline them? Do you use harsh words, loud voice, do you beat them? You need to be their friend if you want them to listen to you.

If your husband keeps being a problem, then stop telling him your plans for them. You don’t need him to pay for the swimming so why ask for his permission. Some men are just laid back and never want to do anything. You can’t keep trying to get his cooperation when you know he will only discourage you.

But trust me, You can never have perfect kids no matter how much you try. You may think if you and your husband get it all right they will be perfect, but they may not be. I know from my own experience. Even at their age, they still trouble the life out of me. But it is better now than it was when they were much younger. So give it time, and don’t ever give up setting rules for them, teaching them discipline, focus, respect e.t.c

As for your husband, you let him be the way he is. You let him get away with not playing his role and you need to stop it. We women think if we are gentle withe they will use their common sense and learn, but most time they see our gentility as an enabler. Force him to do what he’s supposed to do and if he refuses, make a while lot of trouble for him. Let him know that the alternative to not playing his role is trouble. Don’t ever step in for him, not even once. Teach him to figure out that his duty is his alone. Some men are still kids at heart, and you have to treat them like kids. I know it’s unfair, but that is just the reality.

OP, listen to this lady. She has shared a lot from experience that could help you.

I would like to highlight two points:

1) Build a good relationship with your children, this will make them want to please you and avoid disappointing you.

2) Let the father take care of them. Make him stay with them for an extended period of time so he can see for himself that kids can be a handful.