₦airaland Forum

Fredamanda:
Please guys ignore the grammar, I need urgent advice because I am dying slowly towards my wife altitude.

I am a young guy working from home and I try all my best to make my wife happy always but there is one attitude in her which I am not comfortable with and I don't know how else to explain to her after I have tried so much for her to start up something.

She is a graduate with good result but she does not want to do anything rather she prefers staying at home maybe because I am working from home. My problem now is that she is pregnant and she got admission for her masters in one of the Eastern Universities while we live in lagos which she does not want to go and owning to the fact that she is not doing anything in the house and she is not working, I really want her to go for that masters and is causing big issues between two of us.

Please kindly advice me on what to do.

As far as she is pregnant now there is nothing she can do again to assist until a year+ when the baby is walking and please forget about master for now.
You should have ask this question when she was still her normal self.

However before the baby arrive and be at an age that will free her a little plan a business she can be running now.

All the BSC she got she can work with that forget all those master stuff they are waste of money or good for someone who is already doing something.
That is my advice for you.

Fredamanda:
Please guys ignore the grammar, I need urgent advice because I am dying slowly towards my wife altitude.

I am a young guy working from home and I try all my best to make my wife happy always but there is one attitude in her which I am not comfortable with and I don't know how else to explain to her after I have tried so much for her to start up something.

She is a graduate with good result but she does not want to do anything rather she prefers staying at home maybe because I am working from home. My problem now is that she is pregnant and she got admission for her masters in one of the Eastern Universities while we live in lagos which she does not want to go and owning to the fact that she is not doing anything in the house and she is not working, I really want her to go for that masters and is causing big issues between two of us.

Please kindly advice me on what to do.

Who will sponsor accommodation, feeding, schooling and transportation for her studys

How come she doesn't want to do anything, I mean is she lazy or your gave her all age needs just to seat at home just like that

Well, she will definitely use this pregnancy as excuses for being lazy, allow her to put to bed, even if you report her to her family, they will reason with her that she is pregnant

But you have to adopt a system that will work for you in this marriage else, the task and burden will be on you as more children will soon join the family

Don't just give her all the financial attention she needs

Foodqueen:
Have you ask her if she would like to start up a business.

Y is it so hard for ur lots to just go out and work.

CaveAdullam:
Wonder what kind of discussion both of you had before marriage.

1. You must understand that it's difficult for adults to change their mindsets, especially when these mindsets or ideology comes with incentives and comfortability or a medium that serves as an escape route.
True for women when they get married. They don't see the need for constant improvement because all they've wanted was to secure a man that will cater for their expenses through thick and thin despite their poor nature, bad attitude, amoebic body shape, damaged mentality, complacency, entitlement mentality etc.

2. Your wife's laziness is rooted in the comfortability you've placed her and to make her become productive you must upset that foundation. (She may however vacillates between changing for the better or seek another greener pasture for laziness).

How do you do these:

A. For the main time, pretend that your remote work is failing or has failed. Move from home early and daily to do your work outside and come back late like a normal job seeker. When you come back tell her the experiences you had when searching for a good job.

B. Reduce the amount of comfortability through the extra things you provide for the family. This will rhyme with your recent "joblessness".

C. Be the one that should start telling her to keep master's degree program aside because things are not as rosy before. (By the way, she doesn't need it, except otherwise). Because it's high time expenses must be managed.

D. Act broke with her and others and let it rhyme with the aforementioned.

On the extreme, if her unproductive nature hinges your prospect and progress tell her it's high time to cut off the relationship. She can't be enjoying life while doing nothing.

Enjoy your liability!

Who vex you dis afternoon? See as you destroy our ladies...

Fredamanda:
Please guys ignore the grammar, I need urgent advice because I am dying slowly towards my wife altitude.

I am a young guy working from home and I try all my best to make my wife happy always but there is one attitude in her which I am not comfortable with and I don't know how else to explain to her after I have tried so much for her to start up something.

She is a graduate with good result but she does not want to do anything rather she prefers staying at home maybe because I am working from home. My problem now is that she is pregnant and she got admission for her masters in one of the Eastern Universities while we live in lagos which she does not want to go and owning to the fact that she is not doing anything in the house and she is not working, I really want her to go for that masters and is causing big issues between two of us.

Please kindly advice me on what to do.

One mans meat is truly another poison. When you eventually gets married to some of these new generational women who abandons their family for their personal career achievement, then you will come and open another thread to whine.

Godada:


It seems you do not know the value of woman you have in your abode.

You have a woman who loves staying at home, you want her out.

Whatever you are working at from home coach her so both of you can work from home and she can also work under you while you supervise from the top.

You get the drift.

Under no circumstances should you push her to go for masters under the pregnancy.

No mind am. Op never see something. One mans meat they say is another poison. He has a wife who takes care of everything in the house and wants to always stay in the house because of you. yet you are not happy. you want to push her out.

DissTroy:
Right on the mark! As long as men continue to condone lazy, unmotivated women who are jobless and make wives of them, they'd continue to be shortchanged.

Stop shortchanging yourselves, men. She wouldn't be with you if you were jobless and unmotivated careerwise.

Demand same of these women. While you were dating, your woman never even for one date asked that you go out on a date that she funds or buys you gifts and you think it's normal? Why do you expect her to do better in marriage?

I've come to admire your posts on Nairaland: very logical and reasonable

You've earned a follower today though I'll still troll you a little bit when it comes to Eibarman matters.

Raalsalghul:
You've earned a follower today though I'll still troll you a little bit when it comes to Eibarman matters.

Ah... Who do we here. Yep! It's a Pendumanaic.

Been a while I checked out what crazy things you guys are up to on that Barça thread.

DissTroy:
Ah... Who do we here. Yep! It's a Pendumanaic.

Been a while I checked out what crazy things you guys are up to on that Barça thread.

Baba abeg leave my Pendu for me make I manage am like that.

Everybody with their choice o because I don't mind a full time house wife cha. I make the money and assist her in managing the home and if she chooses to do anything it would be to manage the family business.
I would suggest that you engage her with something that she loves doing probably she will pick interest.
If this is her first pregnancy, i would advise you defer the Masters program. Lagos (Home) to East (School) will be stressful for someone without pregnancy not to talk of someone with one. people respond to pregnancy differently and if it is her first, you do not know how it will turn out let alone adding more stress to it.

CaveAdullam:
1. ..."at least 5 hours...." you said. You are talking as if you you and the op's wife are the only married women on earth. Fine, the nature of the workplace is not structured for women because it is tough, rough and slippery and base on the female's psychology, it will take a whole lot of tweaking to get used to the terrain. But you must understand that:

A. The economic and political climate of the African Continent and world at large isn't conducive for "full time housewifemanship".

B. And we are in a political era were women are screaming equality and want to prove " what a man can do, a woman can do it more better ".
Therefore, you can't necessary blame anyone for allowing women into the workplace. At least it will make them have a first time experience in observing the tugs of war men fight in order to bring food to the table.

2. By the way, I can bet my balls that men will 100x more prefer to switch jobs with their full time house wives and will do much better if their wives are willing to enter the workplace.

You are talking as if you go to the market and cook everyday; mop everyday; wash and clean everyday. Men also involve themselves in taking care of the kids. If not for their jobs that take them away from their kids early and come back late from work, they do a better job in raising kids than women!

3. If you use 5-7 hours in a day to do the normal housework at your own convenience and do school runs, what then happen to the remaining 19-17 hours?
Remember: most men are hustlers, even the few office workers that stay in the office from 8am-4pm and above, do their works under pressure, bootlicking their bosses and clients so as to secure their jobs. The other men who are in the majority, stay under the sun, or inside the inconvenience of their cubicles or migrate from one road to another in search of clients or customers. And you think it is easy and comparable to full time housewifemanship right?

4. You women already see men as your retirement plan, no wonder each and everyone of you is bothered about marriage, and when it's not forthcoming, you all caterwauls from dawn to dusk, running helter skelter from pillar to post; fry pan to fire! And yet when you eventually secure a (beta) husband rather than behave yourselves and act accordingly, you start whining and murmuring about house chores because you all have entitlement mentality rooted in yourselves.
You are not willing to transcend, but settle down for mediocrity and expect a reasonable man or human being to take you seriously. You all don't want to grow and improve because a man is already there to clean your asse$ and mop your shits.

5. The op wants his wife to be productive, a good plan from a good man indeed! Yet, you and the wife don't see the need because of women's lackadaisical attitude and complacency, but later will start yelling and screaming equality and feminists bullsh!ts.

6. Is there anything wrong for a woman to run a small business of her own to support her husband? Is there anything wrong if the woman learns her husband's kind of work in order to support him? What if the man die, how is she going to run family affairs?

Hahahahaha! You want to do 5hours work everyday, then after, spread your legs wide to watch TV, gossip and browse the internet during the day, and serve a stale boring sex at night.

7. You women should learn to grow up. I understand your natural tendencies, limitations and psychology, but despite that, growth and development is necessary for every individual, both male and female.

With these few points of mine, I hope you get my point.

Have a nice day!

Lmao, I am not a woman , secondly the op isn't interested on productivity but space...He doesn't want her to work from home...but away from home. I see no reason why a married man will even want to send his wife to another state for "masters" not even work woh

balmofgilead:
You keep on insisting pregnancy is not a sickness, have you been pregnant before? Seeing women working while being pregnant does not mean it's not a horrible combination. Note that not all pregnancies are the same. .....

I am glad you answered your own question there by explaining how pregnancy in and of itself indeed not a sickness.

descarado:
Some pregnancies are indeed sickness.
Some are in and out of the hospital throughout the duration of the pregnancy.
Every woman has different body system.
As a lady, you should know that. Respect that too.

Pregnancy is not a sickness. Instead health problems can develop during a pregnancy. Separate the too so you can better understand and appreciate the condition rather than use it as an excuse.

Just as there are some who are pregnant and sick, there are many more others who are out there working and enjoying a sickness free pregnancy..

Op never said his wife is sick. It will be cruel to assume her sick because she is pregnant.

Kobojunkie:
Maybe it is time you both go get professional marriage counseling - no pastors or imam bullsheet abeg.

Why did she apply to school in a university that far away from where you both live? Did she not plan this?

You want her to get a masters, even though right now she refuses to work with even the undergraduate degree she currently has, I hope you don't intend for a Masters to magically transform her into a working woman or something?

She currently refuses to work meaning yours is the only source of income for your home, but you are already adding a third person to your family and atop of that you want to add a masters program, are you swimming in millions or something?

He's swimming in millions.

He just wants the woman away for more "privacy."

Or maybe all his friends' wives are working, so if his own isn't working, he wants to be able to say that "she's undergoing her masters."

PrimadonnaO:
He's swimming in millions.
He just wants the woman away for more "privacy."
Or maybe all his friends' wives are working, so if his own isn't working, he wants to be able to say that "she's undergoing her masters."

A marriage is a contract agreement between two people and it can only work when they stay in agreement on things. If there are maybes, they need to be ironed out by both parties rather than one holding it as a grudge against the other. That is why I suggest professional marriage counseling for both of them to help them talk about the why of the issue with the wife and stuff.

Fredamanda:
Please guys ignore the grammar, I need urgent advice because I am dying slowly towards my wife altitude.

I am a young guy working from home and I try all my best to make my wife happy always but there is one attitude in her which I am not comfortable with and I don't know how else to explain to her after I have tried so much for her to start up something.

She is a graduate with good result but she does not want to do anything rather she prefers staying at home maybe because I am working from home. My problem now is that she is pregnant and she got admission for her masters in one of the Eastern Universities while we live in lagos which she does not want to go and owning to the fact that she is not doing anything in the house and she is not working, I really want her to go for that masters and is causing big issues between two of us.

Please kindly advice me on what to do.

Just tall to her in a different way.
Probably you are addressing d matter in a wrong way she feels offended by it.

fxexperts:
One mans meat is truly another poison. When you eventually gets married to some of these new generational women who abandons their family for their personal career achievement, then you will come and open another thread to whine.




No mind am. Op never see something. One mans meat they say is another poison. He has a wife who takes care of everything in the house and wants to always stay in the house because of you. yet you are not happy. you want to push her out.

utter shit

Hamiltonii:
Women ought not to leave their homes. You the man should go out and provide. That's the bible.

That's not pure truth in the world we are today. What if there's a mishap on the side of the man? Tomorrow is full of uncertainties. .. man could loose his job or even die or get incapacitated through an accident. What would be the fate of the idle wife of such man? World changes faster with hardships too.

Hamiltonii:
Women ought not to leave their homes. You the man should go out and provide. That's the bible.

Stop lying!

Godada:


It seems you do not know the value of woman you have in your abode.

You have a woman who loves staying at home, you want her out.

Whatever you are working at from home coach her so both of you can work from home and she can also work under you while you supervise from the top.

You get the drift.

Under no circumstances should you push her to go for masters under the pregnancy.

Fredamanda pls follow this
Fred Amanda

Fredamanda:
Please guys ignore the grammar, I need urgent advice because I am dying slowly towards my wife altitude.

I am a young guy working from home and I try all my best to make my wife happy always but there is one attitude in her which I am not comfortable with and I don't know how else to explain to her after I have tried so much for her to start up something.

She is a graduate with good result but she does not want to do anything rather she prefers staying at home maybe because I am working from home. My problem now is that she is pregnant and she got admission for her masters in one of the Eastern Universities while we live in lagos which she does not want to go and owning to the fact that she is not doing anything in the house and she is not working, I really want her to go for that masters and is causing big issues between two of us.

Please kindly advice me on what to do.

Lol, you don chop tire, you wan pursue her make bigger nyash come in... E no go work for you. Well, on a serious note... If you can form broke, she go begin find work or leave. Alternatively, find her shop closeby.. She dey protect and gaurd her property with jealousy nothing else. Again, you can go look for office somewhere and work from there.

Bola146:
sit her down and ask her what she want and how if she can cope. She is pregnant, it might be somehow stressful for her nature. You dated and talked about a lot of things, you ought to have settled this before getting her pregnant. She hold on with the masters first till she put to bed.

.

Why are you on every thread?

Wo, I also work from home and I understand how you feel. The boredom, and yearning for freedom to feel alive instead of staying indoors all time. Talk to your wife, explain to her how you feel, that she should find something to do, explain to her being idle can make her unproductive in some aspect, blah, blah.

CaveAdullam:
Wonder what kind of discussion both of you had before marriage.

1. You must understand that it's difficult for adults to change their mindsets, especially when these mindsets or ideology comes with incentives and comfortability or a medium that serves as an escape route.
True for women when they get married. They don't see the need for constant improvement because all they've wanted was to secure a man that will cater for their expenses through thick and thin despite their poor nature, bad attitude, amoebic body shape, damaged mentality, complacency, entitlement mentality etc.

2. Your wife's laziness is rooted in the comfortability you've placed her and to make her become productive you must upset that foundation. (She may however vacillates between changing for the better or seek another greener pasture for laziness).

How do you do these:

A. For the main time, pretend that your remote work is failing or has failed. Move from home early and daily to do your work outside and come back late like a normal job seeker. When you come back tell her the experiences you had when searching for a good job.

B. Reduce the amount of comfortability through the extra things you provide for the family. This will rhyme with your recent "joblessness".

C. Be the one that should start telling her to keep master's degree program aside because things are not as rosy before. (By the way, she doesn't need it, except otherwise). Because it's high time expenses must be managed.

D. Act broke with her and others and let it rhyme with the aforementioned.

On the extreme, if her unproductive nature hinges your prospect and progress tell her it's high time to cut off the relationship. She can't be enjoying life while doing nothing.

Enjoy your liability!

Na wa o

Dollywood:
.

Why are you on every thread?

Sir, tell them to help you ask Google

Bola146:
Sir, tell them to help you ask Google

I be wan take that thing b4 sef, u re always everywhere, try be calming down nw, when you join sef and you dey do gragra

temitope27:
I be wan take that thing b4 sef, u re always everywhere, try be calming down nw, when you join sef and you dey do gragra

It's on Google too, ask Google na no be you go talk that one to or you kuku face your front

descarado:
You don't need any advice. I'm pretty sure she didn't ask for the masters. You forced her into it.
You continue pushing her, you two will continue having problems.
Let her stir her own life. If she want to fry akara, it's her choice.

When will you guys stop meddling and learn to mind your business?
Marriage doesn't give you that right. Learn to respect the other party.

1. The way you concluded he forced her into the masters. Thats a ridiculous take.

2. As long as she's married, The two shall become one. Hence, whatever life she's stirring must be with the consent of her husband, or one which doesn't adversely affect the man. Another ridiculous take

3. A husband wants the wife to be productive and you call that meddling? A third ridiculous take.

4. But marriage also gives her the right to eat his money while idling around doing nothing? A fourth ridiculous take.

Bola146:
Sir, tell them to help you ask Google

Find job, u need one.

Hullabaloon:
1. The way you concluded he forced her into the masters. Thats a ridiculous take.

2. As long as she's married, The two shall become one. Hence, whatever life she's stirring must be with the consent of her husband, or one which doesn't adversely affect the man. Another ridiculous take

3. A husband wants the wife to be productive and you call that meddling? A third ridiculous take.

4. But marriage also gives her the right to eat his money while idling around doing nothing? A fourth ridiculous take.

Close your mouth please. You make no sense

Arieljay:
Please don't bother her,you can't tell me you didn't know your wife had no vision but to become a full house before tying the knot,an average Nigerian woman is like this that's why they seek to marry a rich man(obiageli and the oriaku's)she only married you cause no rich guy looked her way, unfortunately you can't change her,this is who she is,no matter how you try it's just a matter of time she gonna go back to default

So a housewife is visionless according to your logic?