₦airaland Forum

southniyikaye:
4 kids? Nope 2kids...
And alot happened bro, saw alot of changes and she can easily be discarded if she goes back her former ways but I can tell you that she is a changed person and I had to give her the benefit of doubt...
I just want those kids to grow under their parent not separated...
Thanks for last year, I appreciate

Money can change and humble people

AutoChick4U:
Money can change and humble people

she has not received kobo from me since we came together, she has been the one spending

Homeboiy:
But you said prayers helped you to achieve things

Did the prayers not help you to overcome this problem

Well you lack investment management

almost bro, almost

southniyikaye:
Saw a thread that made fp about depression..

https://www.nairaland.com/6862535/fg-job-how-name-replaced

I wish to keep this post as short as possible but it seems it's gonna be a long read..

I was the first to comment and people say I should share this story even though I have promised to never share any of my stories on nairaland again, this might just be the last one...
This is not to woop up sentiment or a self pity thread, just want people to be careful when you try to cyber bully people thinking you are catching cruise.
So last year from around Feb to may, I was an ardent begger on nairaland that I was even nicknamed the nairaland's president of begger, he no get where my account no dey.. Every begging or giveaway thread, I dey...
But around may or June last year, God came through for me.. I want to make this post as short as possible..
Firstly when I wrote about being suicidal, alot of nairanders came through. I thank Mr Bello, that man sent me total of 110k.it was like magic cos what we talked about was around 30k to start business..
Stupidity (this is a moniker on nairaland) too gave me 20k.i made about 15k from giveaway threads.
Then a brother of mine abroad came through and gave me approximately 1.3m..
All these came in a space of 1month..
Let me say this, you might not believe in prayers but alot of fasting and prayers happened in my life from January till God answered my prayers.. Mr Bello was God sent.. Apart from the money, he gave me alot of encouraging words, gave me directions and how to channel my prayers..
To the purpose of this thread..
Believe this or not, I spend more than 250k helping others both online and offline..
I tried about 3 businesses that failed and I was left with about 500k till I finally did a retail business that gave me more than 2m savings.
I was supposed to travel to South Africa around August, I was given a visa already but I was supposed to do some things in Lagos for like a month before moving to S.A.
So I sold my retail shop(first mistake) even though alot of people adviced me seriously against it, but I already made up my mind since I won't be needing it anymore..
I was in Lagos when my host told me I won't be coming to S.A again due to unforseen circumstances,na from there I know say I Don enter one chance..
The plan was to open a fabrication shop for me in S.A, accommodation will be provided.
This host was my bro who sent me money, he sent me a separate money for S.A processing and the plan was going on smoothly till I got to Lagos..
So I had to come back to ibadan but business was gone so I improvised...
Now, I and my wife settled our differences, I won't be gojng into much details but families intervened and not being a father figure in my kids life was painful to me as they are growing and always wanted to be with me..
So I got an apartment in ib, furnished it to taste(atleast ) and moved my family to ib, everyone was happy..
I know people might want to refer to my previous thread about family but everything was cool now as I prayed over it in 3-4 diff places..
I am leaving alot of details out cos the post is getting long already..
She has something good doing before coming, she was making good money in her work place, (she left the bar for a decent job) and she told me she can't come to me and be jobless.
She told me what she will like to do and I told her I got everything covered..
Plan was in motion and my new area has an advantage of doing same retail business I was doing before and the way am seeing it, the sales will be more than my former place..
I got a space for my fabrication job and everything seems perfect until my brother in S.A had a serious health issue.
This is someone that came through for me twice, this health issue was already developing that's why he didn't want me to come to him..
I sent everything I could gather and even borrowed more just to make sure he is OK..
That's how my financial mess started..
My family is already here and to feed became a serious issue. My wife has nothing doing, we've spent every penny she saved on kids school fees and feeding, she cries everyday and this breaks my heart.
She tried looking for work and none was forthcoming.. I too tried looking for job and what am being offered is nothing to write home about.
I even put up my big generator, big fridge I bought for her business and some other new house hold things for sale and the prices people are offering me heenn, it is well..
About 2weeks now, I was talking to someone when I started stammering, then I lost my voice... I was trying to make hand gesture to the person that have lost my voice when I started folding from inside, then I collapsed..
It took more than an hour to resuscitate me but believe me, I wish I died and be done with this world.. (was told it was an extremely low BP).
People will not understand the financial pressure am in and the fact that I made my wife resigned from her work to just live as a family and she is now jobless and crying everyday breaks my heart..
She tried her best cos everybody know what it takes to feed nowadays, now imagine feeding a family of four!
Last week, someone who knows me offline but I don't know was making jest of me on this platform, saying derogatory words..
No matter what, you don't beat a man that is already down. I was just getting myself from that collapse when he made that statement...

So, this is what I went through in the space of a year..
I didn't go into details and I know people will want to know the type of business that gave me such amount withing a year.. Not gonna hide anything but if I mention it, alot of people will know who I am cos I know alot of those in my area and even my previous customers are on this platform.
About my brother's issue, it is more serious than I wrote here but that too is supposed to be confidential..
Cc tmksouth, I don't know how far your reach in S.A is but I will appreciate if I can contact you and pls anyone that lives in cape Town..

What made me seriously depressed is this, this is the 3rd time am at the point of my breakthrough that this type of shit is happening and each phase of it is worse than the previous..
I have never been diabolical but shey my head no need washing and setting like this?
Abi shey I no go go ask why always me? Shebi na people Sha dey do long time business and succeeding without issues..

My advice to people is this, yoruba will say, MA titori pe o gbo kun kun Ojo ko da omi agbada nu.. (no becos say u believe say rain go fall make you troway drum water).
If i had leased my business and not sold it, I would have something to fall back to now..

Another is, always resist the urge to shalaye and keep your life private as much as possible, he get why. Expecially your success story or propose successes...

Ishilove
Pocahontas
I purposely tagged these two people cos they are familiar with my story and to let them know say, person wey do you bad today fit make you happy tomorrow..

You squander over 2m..... Pennywise, pound foolish

femi4:
You squander over 2m..... Pennywise, pound foolish

make una dey try use sense read now, it won't cost you anything

It's well with you.

But sometimes u really need to watch people around you

May God raise forth helpers for you and settle you permanently in Jesus name...Amen

ahnie:
May God raise forth helpers for you and settle you permanently in Jesus name...Amen

Amen oo
Mama zino

Juliusmomoh:
Amen oo
Mama zino

Hellooooo there

ahnie:
Hellooooo there

Am cool here.. Over there nko?
This your signature de gimme joy.
What inspired you to put it there..

Juliusmomoh:
Am cool here..
Over there nko?

This your signature de gimme joy.

What inspired you to put it there..

My demons.

ahnie:
My demons.

Mariangeles:
You've always reiterated that you suffer major setbacks/misfortune every time you go back to your wife, right?
So, why did you go back to her?

His wife didn’t make him sell his thriving business because he wanted to go abroad. That’s bad decision on his part. His own doing. 100%. Now he realizes he could have leased it instead of selling it. Why did the think of that earlier?
His wife didn’t cause his brother abroad to get sick. And she certainly didn’t make the decision for him to sell all he had and borrow to send to the brother.
If he’s in the habit of making bad decisions, then that’s his thing that he needs to own up to.

ahnie:
May God raise forth helpers for you and settle you permanently in Jesus name...Amen

amen ahnie

Saintmary:
Oga, I've read a lot of your topics and I must say that I'm shocked you would run into challenges after you made up with your wife.

Mind you, things turned out well for you when you followed the advice that you should leave the woman.

I think, since you want to keep your family together, and it seems your wife has a spiritual problem, join hands together with her in prayers and fasting.
Pray for forgiveness and mercy.
Don't go to ANY prophet or cleric.
Do it alone with her. Then the battle will be won and you can be together.

It will be hard but it's definitely worth it.

cococandy:
His wife didn’t make him sell his thriving business because he wanted to go abroad. That’s bad decision on his part. His own doing. 100%. Now he realizes he could have leased it instead of selling it. Why did the think of that earlier?
His wife didn’t cause his brother abroad to get sick. And she certainly didn’t make the decision for him to sell all he had and borrow to send to the brother.
If he’s in the habit of making bad decisions, then that’s his thing that he needs to own up to.

Also OP seems like one those people when things start looking up for them they don’t take it easy and plan ahead with baby steps knowing that misfortune can always happen and it’s better to be prepared.
He goes all in like he has millions stashed somewhere to fall back on when the current plan doesn’t work.
I wouldn’t blame his wife for that.
I might blame her for quitting her job to come back and start afresh with him without securing a replacement source of income first. She would have been better off making sure she has another job before quitting the one she had

seanwilliam:
Even though you sound so brutal. You’re 1000% on point

Bro thanks a lot.. May wisdom never depart from you

....

southniyikaye:
amen ahnie

Yeah amen.

This is a pattern.
It's highly spiritual. It will never stop if you don't approach it spiritually. No amount of sense will help. The physical realm is slave to the spiritual.
Download and listen to Spiritual Intelligence 1-3 by Apostle Joshua Selman.
Don't argue.
Just be humble enough.

cococandy:
Also OP seems like one those people when things start looking up for them they don’t take it easy and plan ahead with baby steps knowing that misfortune can always happen and it’s better to be prepared.
He goes all in like he has millions stashed somewhere to fall back on when the current plan doesn’t work.
I wouldn’t blame his wife for that.
I might blame her for quitting her job to come back and start afresh with him without securing a replacement source of income first. She would have been better off making sure she has another job before quitting the one she had

Thanks for your objective view. I hope he will do things differently this time around for the sake of his family.

That his topic about how things turned around for him after leaving his wife touched me so much and I was hoping he won't run into roadblocks again.

But like you pointed out, he allowed his emotions to cloud his decision making.

I hope the poor woman will not be blamed this time around.

Prayer helps too.

southniyikaye:
make una dey try use sense read now, it won't cost you anything

@OP. You deserve all criticisms, both stupid and constructive. The mistake you made was selling the shop. You should have waited till you gets to where you were travelling to. I believe you will rise again, but be more careful in decision makings.

Mariangeles:
You've always reiterated that you suffer major setbacks/misfortune every time you go back to your wife, right?
So, why did you go back to her?

Of course, someone has to be blamed for an adult not making proper plans and preparations towards his future and who is more better than the easiest target, the wife. So is it the wife that told him to sell his properties in a bid to move to South Africa? Is it the wife that also made his brother in South Africa sick? . She is clearly not at fault here and she should not be brought into the story at all. I would only fault her for resigning without getting another job.

And OP, don't stop fighting and drop the mindset of you being followed from the village. Be positive and see each day as an opportunity to start again. Learn from your mistakes and try to forge ahead in life. If you keep working hard, you will remember all your sufferings and be grateful for life and lessons learnt.