Kobojunkie:
Somehow I think you still don't understand the message here.

Let me put it as different way for you. Submission in marriage is born of a curse - Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22. And so when you say this 26-year-old is a "godly" woman, I hope by this you don't mean that she submits to you. If yes, then I can tell you your is nothing of God in that, or what you desire in her.

Jesus Christ came to redeem men from God's curse in Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22 , including God's curse on marriage indicated in Genesis 3 vs 16. So if you choose submission(the curse) in marriage, you do so against Jesus Christ who came instead to save you from the curse.

I think you are the one projecting your biases and insecurities into this thread.
This was my initial post, how you came to the conclusion that I am looking for submission is totally beyond me.

I am 36 years old and she is 26 years old, is 10 years gap too much ?
She is such a godly lady and the type I'd love to settle down with.

You are simply, reading something and attaching your pre-conceived notion to it.
How did the original post above translate to all the things you have written ? How ?
Did I mention anything like submission ? Where is that coming from ? I guess from your mind, your preconceived notions.

oldienavie:
1. I think you are the one projecting your biases and insecurities into this thread. This was my initial post, how you came to the conclusion that I am looking for submission is totally beyond me.

2. You are simply, reading something and attaching your pre-conceived notion to it.

I am 36 years old and she is 26 years old, is 10 years gap too much ?
She is such a godly lady and the type I'd love to settle down with.

How did the original post above translate to all the things you have written ? How ?

I haven't projected anything about my person in any of what I have written to you to this point so it couldn't be said that I projected any of my personal delusions so far.

2. If you would carefully re-read my responses to you so far, you would instead that my attempt is focused on letting you see that no matter which way you choose to look at your original post, whether through you assumed "godly" lense or not, the best is you approach this from a place of mutual respect, love and equally, regardless of the age gap, for this woman you claim you desire. It is really that simple.

Kobojunkie:
I haven't projected anything about my person in any of what I have written to you to this point so it couldn't be said that I projected any of my personal delusions so far.

2. If you would carefully re-read my responses to you so far, you would instead that my attempt is focused on letting you see that no matter which way you choose to look at your original post, whether through you assumed "godly" lense or not, the best is you approach this from a place of mutual respect, love and equally, regardless of the age gap, for this woman you claim you desire. It is really that simple.

Is this your way of admitting that you goofed ?
You failed to answer my question, when you started talking about submission and the likes, how did my original post bring about the talk of submission ?
I am sure you know what I mean, if you are not going to admit that it was a fail on your path, I wouldn't force it.
But we both know your previous responses had nothing to do with my post, especially that long talk about submission and the rest.

I am not a kid and know how to treat a woman, I have lived abroad for many years and interacted with many races and understand that every human being deserves to be treated fairly and with respect.
If you have to teach some one basic qualities like mutual respect, honesty , integrity etc then they are not supposed to be married in the first place.

oldienavie:
1. Is this your way of admitting that you goofed ?

2. You failed to answer my question, when you started talking about submission and the likes, how did my original post bring about the talk of submission ?


3. I am sure you know what I mean, if you are not going to admit that it was a fail on your path, I wouldn't force it.

4. But we both know your previous responses had nothing to do with my post, especially that long talk about submission and the rest.

5. I am not a kid and know how to treat a woman, I have lived abroad for many years and interacted with many races and understand that every human being deserves to be treated fairly and with respect.

6. If you have to teach some one basic qualities like mutual respect, honesty , integrity etc then they are not supposed to be married in the first place.

1. Goofed at what exactly?

2. Is English language comprehension a sort of problem for you or what cause I really don't understand why the reason I gave you for giving the whole schpeel on submission could have gone right over your head there.

3. I have absolutely no clue what you mean and that much I made clear in my retort hence the reason for the different approaches at tackling your request.

4. Given that the responses in question, were directed at your posts ofcourse that means it was in response to your post.

5. Even a wife beater claims to know how to treat a woman, and since I don't know your person, I make my responses as clearly as I can is alll.

6. Look around you at the many married, even the religious ones among them, how many of them exhibit those very same qualities in their marriages? How many of those "godly" men, many of who claim to have known God for decades exhibit any of what you posted in their marriages?

Kobojunkie:
1. Goofed at what exactly?

2. Is English language comprehension a sort of problem for you or what cause I really don't understand why the reason I gave you for giving the whole schpeel on submission could have gone right over your head there.

3. I have absolutely no clue what you mean and that much I made clear in my retort hence the reason for the different approaches at tackling your request.

4. Given that the responses in question, were directed at your posts ofcourse that means it was in response to your post.

5. Even a wife beater claims to know how to treat a woman, and since I don't know your person, I make my responses as clearly as I can is alll.

6. Look around you at the many married, even the religious ones among them, how many of them exhibit those very same qualities in their marriages? How many of those "godly" men, many of who claim to have known God for decades exhibit any of what you posted in their marriages?

I think you have a problem, I honestly don't think you are okay or normal.
You seem to always like looking for fight...
Koshidanu

oldienavie:

I think you have a problem, I honestly don't think you are okay or normal.
You seem to always like looking for fight...
Koshidanu

See... again you conveniently ignore my honest responses to you all so you can continue to think that by attacking me you somehow remove from any of what I have stated so far.

Kobojunkie:
See... again you conveniently ignore my honest responses to you all so you can continue to think that by attacking me you somehow remove from any of what I have stated so far.

Babe, oya send me a pm. Lets resolve this in private.

oldienavie:
I am 36 years old and she is 26 years old, is 10 years gap too much ?
She is such a godly lady and the type I'd love to settle down with.

It's ok so far you will tolerate her as she marries you with little or no experience

Be ready to run the family expenses till she finds her bearing

Don't come here and complain of footing all bills

You already know the situation

For me, anything over 5yrs is another peer group, mentality, exposure and expectations entirely.

oldienavie:
I am 36 years old and she is 26 years old, is 10 years gap too much ?
She is such a godly lady and the type I'd love to settle down with.

Lol you're very very funny.

AmazonTopaz:

English is truly very hard,where in my post did I talk about you or rather made a personal observation I applied only to myself my opinion was subjective and not for you or anybody it is my personal preference so I don't get your anger.


You are 36 years old good to know but then you are the childish one for coming to throw tantrums on my mentions who needs your forgiveness did I in anyway offend you
They are not assumptions they are my personal preference that has so far worked for me you came on this forum seeking advice and I did not condemn you so I don't get this hullabaloo you are trying to exhibit since I am less than 25 years old and you are the older one maybe with a better brain why are you here seeking for advice if your reference to age(Iess than 25) is aimed at a personal attack on me you have failed woefully.

Anyway unto your last paragraph I know this but I prefer to be with someone within my age range not more than four years for me those things(value system, mindset, outlook) work better oya cry.

All this small small children in Nairaland.... Sometimes I wonder how you kids reason.. Maybe with your Ass!!!

frozen70:


It's ok so far you will tolerate her as she marries you with little or no experience

Be ready to run the family expenses till she finds her bearing

Don't come here and complain of footing all bills

You already know the situation

God bless you real good for that bolded statement. You really sound very experienced.

baby124:
For me, anything over 5yrs is another peer group, mentality, exposure and expectations entirely.

Not correct madam.

Hannover:


Not correct madam. Before I got married I was dating a lady of 35 years old,an established Medical Doctor (I was 38). Do you know that this lady had no manners, always on Instagram and TikTok? This made me feel very uncomfortable because I thought it was mostly girls in their early 20s who do this but I was wrong!

Thanks for sharing your experience.
I have experienced this too.
The lady I am with now is even more matured than majority of the girls I have met, and majority of these ladies are in their 30s.
So age does not guarantee maturity, and same goes for men too.

Hannover:


Not correct madam. Before I got married I was dating a lady of 35 years old,an established Medical Doctor (I was 38). Do you know that this lady had no manners, always on Instagram and TikTok? This made me feel very uncomfortable because I thought it was mostly girls in their early 20s who do this but I was wrong!

That’s her interest. You went for a person that did not have the same interest with you because she’s a medical doctor. She had no manners how? Was she even interested in you to begin with or you believe her age and perceived desperation should entitle you to try to have a say over her life?

Everyone has different interest, you find the one that suits you! That someone is over 35 does not mean they should be desperate enough to marry you! You met someone how she is and were trying to change her to your taste? Your 25yr old might need your financial assistance to survive. The Dr. doesn’t. She will find a man that will even do Tiktok videos with her. Interests and life expectations vary. Not everyone takes life like war.

oldienavie:

Thanks for sharing your experience.
I have experienced this too.
The lady I am with now is even more matured than majority of the girls I have met, and majority of these ladies are in their 30s.
So age does not guarantee maturity, and same goes for men too.

Marry her first. In 10yrs, I hope she does not want to live the life she thought she missed out on

Hannover:


God bless you real good for that bolded statement. You really sound very experienced.

Thanks dear

Hannover:


[s]All this small small children in Nairaland.... Sometimes I wonder how you kids reason.. Maybe with your Ass[/s]!!

You must be talking about yourself I did not ask you to tell me about you.

oldienavie:

So it is a crime for me to marry an innocent woman now, rather than marry exposed, wild women ?
Na wah o

Kobojunkie he just highlighted my point

baby124:
For me, anything over 5yrs is another peer group, mentality, exposure and expectations entirely.

Same

I don't know why this 36 yrs old OP is wasting his time arguing..

You brought your topic to a public forum for advice..allow others argue and pick what you need from the advice then discard the rest..

If you won't listen to any advice then it's of no use bringing it here.

garriAndsugar:
I don't know why this 36 yrs old OP is wasting his time arguing..

You brought your topic to a public forum for advice..allow others argue and pick what you need from the advice then discard the rest..

If you won't listen to any advice then it's of no use bringing it here.

On first look, it might seem the guy talks too much.

However, on closer observation, he's trying to rile up a particular demographic on Nairaland knowing age is a touchy issue for them and as expected they've started attacking him from left right and centre.

The funny thing is that he enjoys the attention hence the constant replies.

oldienavie:

Babe, oya send me a pm. Lets resolve this in private.

Wow

So actually resort to even more belittling tactics, this by tagging me a "babe" and asking me to go private with you?

So this is what you meant when you said earlier that you know how to treat women..

oldienavie:
I am not a kid and know how to treat a woman, I have lived abroad for many years and interacted with many races and understand that every human being deserves to be treated fairly and with respect.
If you have to teach some one basic qualities like mutual respect, honesty , integrity etc then they are not supposed to be married in the first place.

I see now that I was right to replay my response from different angles to you in this.

Hannover:
All this small small children in Nairaland.... Sometimes I wonder how you kids reason.. Maybe with your Ass!!!

And they are small children because they are able to describe their relationships in more dimensions and depth than you are capable of?

Hannover:

Lol you're very very funny. My wife is is 25 while I am 41 years old(although my second marriage). We live and communicate very well. I live in Enugu(due to work) while she is in Portharcourt. We already have 2 daughters. So I am just wondering what your issue is

Kobojunkie:
Wow

So actually resort to even more belittling tactics, this by tagging me a "babe" and asking me to go private with you?

So this is what you meant when you said earlier that you know how to treat women.. I see now that I was right to replay my response from different angles to you in this.

I sincerely hope you are just kidding otherwise I'd be very worried.
How has asking you to send me a pm so we can resolve our differences in private led to what you have written....

Seems you have taken the "living in a bubble thing too far" .
Cos it seems you just read something and convolute it and come up with your own interpretation which doesnt even relate to what has been written.

What the heck is wrong with you ?

oldienavie:

I sincerely hope you are just kidding otherwise I'd be very worried.
How has asking you to send me a pm so we can resolve our differences in private led to what you have written....

Seems you have taken the "living in a bubble thing too far" .
Cos it seems you just read something and convolute it and come up with your own interpretation which doesnt even relate to what has been written.

What the heck is wrong with you ?

Interesting!

So you just suddenly felt to use the term "Babe" to address me requesting I get in private message with you instead, this after open attempts at deriding my views failed? And somehow I am not to feel insulted that a fellow decided to tag me as a "babe" after failed attempts at shutting me down?

You think you are smart, don't you? Some of us don't dey do this kain thing Tay Tay, OK?

Kobojunkie:
Interesting!

So you just suddenly felt to use the term "Babe" to address me requesting I get in private message with you instead, this after open attempts at deriding my views failed? And somehow I am not to feel insulted that a fellow decided to tag me as a "babe" after failed attempts at shutting me down?

You think you are smart, don't you? Some of us don't dey do this kain thing Tay Tay, OK?

Babe oya calm down...
Just let me know what I need to do to get you to inbox me...

oldienavie:
I am 36 years old and she is 26 years old, is 10 years gap too much ?
She is such a godly lady and the type I'd love to settle down with.

No... Even a 20 year gap isn't bad.
As long as you live a life of balance and she respects you... and you love her right back. The "godly" aspect can be very deceptive since a lot of females and males are
good at pretending within the religious space.

It's better to study people's responses to real world situations
when you are in informal situations.
This gives you perspectives on how
they deal with anger issues, money management issues and more.

In my 17 years of being a member of NL (I've got another older NL user name), I usually go through the NL histories or posts of some users here to get a hang of their personalies, and to see if they they are trolls or use abusive language indiscriminately. I just give them a wide berth!

Last but not least, you can
read up more on "Emotional Intelligence," and a book entitled the "5 Love Languages" if you haven't.

Cheers.

frozen70:


It's ok so far you will tolerate her as she marries you with little or no experience

Be ready to run the family expenses till she finds her bearing

Don't come here and complain of footing all bills

You already know the situation

Well said! You have a very balanced
view of life. "True love" is the ability
to give love and receive love.

AlphaTaikun:

Well said! You have a very balanced
view of life. "True love" is the ability
to give love and receive love.

Thanks my dear

Iyaebe:
You are such a confusionist,one can't really tell If you are an atheist or a Christian

. The guy above just dey type jargon. Must you comment.