₦airaland Forum

Please people why is that women usually change after marriage?....as in their true color come out when they know they're finally settled.

I just witness my cousin's wife messing his sister up for no just cause....someone who is much older than her o. I felt so bad and offered to take her to my place but She said no that she has no issues with her brother....and she would soon as she just came visiting because of the new born baby...she also mentioned that it's good her brother's wife is showing herself.....and am like.....my wife can't try this with my siblings o....I love my wife but she must respect my family....and to think that before marriage this same woman would almost prostrate to greet....ha!

All this biased people sef, you saw one side and concluded just like that,

Since you witness whatever happened, why not go and ask the wife what the sister did for her to treat her that way? Because I know what in-laws do just to prove nonsense, will the wife behave like that unprovoked?

I witnessed the beating of a sister in-law, as in the husband beat up his wife's elder sister, what was his reason, he said the sister doesn't help his wife at home, this is a man that works far from home, he only comes home weekends, today, they've both been ostracized from the family, this is a man that always postrate to greet everyone in the family

Now, do you see any of us generalising or creating a thread that men are evil, pretentious, cunning, bla bla bla? Do you? Most threads here is always to degrade, insult, shame women, una no dey tire? An isolated scenario should remain isolated on the person involved, why generalise it? When SARS was labeling young guys dressing a certain way Yahoo, fraudsters and all sorts, you guys were gnashing your teeth about, even women protested on your behalf, didn't you guys complain immensely vigorously because of it, make una dey use una brain o, e no hard at all.

See op all this talk no concern me. But you see that place you offered to take her home yen? Ehn ehn that place gan gan, please explain further.

Take her home for what?

penplus:
Please people why is that women usually change after marriage?....as in their true color come out when they know they're finally settled.

I just witness my cousin's wife messing his sister up for no just cause....someone who is much older than her o. I felt so bad and offered to take her to my place but She said no that she has no issues with her brother....and she would soon as she just came visiting because of the new born baby...she also mentioned that it's good her brother's wife is showing herself.....and am like.....my wife can't try this with my siblings o....I love my wife but she must respect my family....and to think that before marriage this same woman would almost prostrate to greet....ha!

You mean sister inlaw still insisted on staying despite the bad behaviour from wifey? Are you sure the story is as you put here? It is well fa

Some In-laws are not saints either .

The reason isn't far-fetched; women are the weaker vessel, and a vice like pretentiousness is chiefly part and parcel of what it entails to be the weaker vessel. Of course, men have their own vices too.

As a man, to prevent being meted out with a pretentious act like the one in your story, you must always relate with a woman on a defined philosophy, nay you must have a standard you operate on, and must spell it out to her from the inception of your relationship with her.

Servility is as bad as cruelty, say no to both of them. Most men's undiscerning ability, inordinate need for validation and poor concept of respect, which makes them to wittingly or unwittingly use servility rather than justness as the standard to sustain their relationship with women, especially small-minded women, pre-marriage, enable pretentious acts from women and allow them to fester even in marriage in most cases.

As a man, you must consciously make a decision never to put a woman on a pedestal, and don't expect her to put you either, even though that is their understanding of being adored and the surest way to have them walk and work with you seamlessly. Putting them on a pedestal means using servility to sustain your relationship with them, which is always catastrophic in the long-term. Of course, the need not to put a woman on a pedestal doesn't negate being courteous to her and loving her genuinely if she's deserving of love.

Unfortunately, any man that lives for women's validation cannot live on the above philosophy.

RightToReject:
The reason isn't far-fetched; women are the weaker vessel, and a vice like pretentiousness is chiefly part and parcel of what it entails to be the weaker vessel. Of course, men have their own vices too.

As a man, to prevent being meted out with a pretentious act like the one in your story, you must always relate with a woman on a defined philosophy, nay you must have a standard you operate on, and must spell it out to her from the inception of your relationship with her.

Servility is as bad as cruelty, say no to both of them. Most men's undiscerning ability, inordinate need for validation and poor concept of respect, which makes them to wittingly or unwittingly use servility rather than justness as the standard to sustain their relationship with women, especially small-minded women, pre-marriage, enables pretentious act from women and allows it fester even in marriage in most cases.

As a man, you must consciously make a decision never to put a woman on a pedestal, and don't expect her to put you either, even though that is their understanding of being adored and the surest way to have them walk and work with you seamlessly. Putting them on a pedestal means using servility to sustain your relationship with them, which is always catastrophic in the long-term. Of course, the need not to put a woman on a pedestal doesn't negate being courteous to her and loving her genuinely if she's deserving of love.

Unfortunately, any man that lives for women's validation cannot live on the above philosophy.

This is a brilliant advise to men but majority of Nigerian men are poorly educated, they will find it hard to comprehend what you just wrote.
This rule up there applies to majority of women, as a black man who has dated and related to women from all spheres of life, caucasian, asian, black, and whatnot, women are the same over the world and this rule if followed will go along way to help you as a man to have peace in relating with them.

Klass99:
Penplus pls read this true life story with an objective & unbiased mind.

Pat & Peter were a married couple, Peter had an elder sister Naomi who was often rude and disrespectful to Pat. Naomi would do things like talking over Pat or talking down to her, busting into their bedroom without knocking when Pat & Peter are in the middle of a conversation.

Naomi did all kinds of things until Pat had enough one day, choked Naomi by the neck and pinned her to the wall. It took about 2 people to pull Pat off of Naomi. Naomi has never dared to mess with Pat again, from that day.

Naomi's own husband (Tony) left the house one day never to return, he did not take his clothes or any items, he just disappeared to start a new life in Abuja. For some time people thought he was dead, the police were involved but no one knew or heard anything until 6 months later, when it Tony was found in Abuja.

When asked questions Tony said he was sick and tired of Naomi and their marriage, he just wanted out and he wanted a new life. Naomi was that cantankerous and troublesome.

What is my point? Some siblings/in-laws can be the real problem, it is not always the wife's fault or the wife who has issues. If you check well your cousin (the sister in law) may have done something very inappropriate or may be the one provoking the wife. I am just saying....

Siblings are not always the sweet/decent people we want to think or believe they are, we play into the narrative of blood is thicker than water, far too much in this country, even when it doesn't make sense to. Again I am just saying.....

Not surprised and won't be at all. OP daughters of eve are dangerous and it requires lion heart to put them where they belongs.

Op, u see this santimonous life style of daughters of eve, I only blame men in boys skin that called themselves husband.

One thing u must understand is that humans have limit and when pushed to the wall they will react and people dont just start exhibiting a character all of a sudden if they are not triggered
If the other partner is not complaining then I don't see any issue

RightToReject:
The reason isn't far-fetched; women are the weaker vessel, and a vice like pretentiousness is chiefly part and parcel of what it entails to be the weaker vessel. Of course, men have their own vices too.

As a man, to prevent being meted out with a pretentious act like the one in your story, you must always relate with a woman on a defined philosophy, nay you must have a standard you operate on, and must spell it out to her from the inception of your relationship with her.

Servility is as bad as cruelty, say no to both of them. Most men's undiscerning ability, inordinate need for validation and poor concept of respect, which makes them to wittingly or unwittingly use servility rather than justness as the standard to sustain their relationship with women, especially small-minded women, pre-marriage, enables pretentious act from women and allows it fester even in marriage in most cases.

As a man, you must consciously make a decision never to put a woman on a pedestal, and don't expect her to put you either, even though that is their understanding of being adored and the surest way to have them walk and work with you seamlessly. Putting them on a pedestal means using servility to sustain your relationship with them, which is always catastrophic in the long-term. Of course, the need not to put a woman on a pedestal doesn't negate being courteous to her and loving her genuinely if she's deserving of love.

Unfortunately, any man that lives for women's validation cannot live on the above philosophy.

Respect!

Klass99:
Penplus pls read this true life story with an objective & unbiased mind.

Pat & Peter were a married couple, Peter had an elder sister Naomi who was often rude and disrespectful to Pat. Naomi would do things like talking over Pat or talking down to her, busting into their bedroom without knocking when Pat & Peter are in the middle of a conversation.

Naomi did all kinds of things until Pat had enough one day, choked Naomi by the neck and pinned her to the wall. It took about 2 people to pull Pat off of Naomi. Naomi has never dared to mess with Pat again, from that day.

Naomi's own husband (Tony) left the house one day never to return, he did not take his clothes or any items, he just disappeared to start a new life in Abuja. For some time people thought he was dead, the police were involved but no one knew or heard anything until 6 months later, when it Tony was found in Abuja.

When asked questions Tony said he was sick and tired of Naomi and their marriage, he just wanted out and he wanted a new life. Naomi was that cantankerous and troublesome.

What is my point? Some siblings/in-laws can be the real problem, it is not always the wife's fault or the wife who has issues. If you check well your cousin (the sister in law) may have done something very inappropriate or may be the one provoking the wife. I am just saying....

Siblings are not always the sweet/decent people we want to think or believe they are, we play into the narrative of blood is thicker than water, far too much in this country, even when it doesn't make sense to. Again I am just saying.....

I quite agree with you but guy...this is a different scenario. I know this particular in-law (my cousin) well...she no get wahala...

A lot of men always think their siblings are blameless in situations like this. They never tell themselves the truth. All those troublesome people we see around are inlaws to people, and they cause trouble in their homes. But someone will.come and say that you must accept my family instead of trying to create a balance.

In my case I was warned by my husband himself to be careful of getting too close. Guy knows his people and just saved us all problems.

issues like this requires wisdom and carefullness

Biglittlelois:
I witnessed the beating of a sister in-law, as in the husband beat up his wife's elder sister, what was his reason, he said the sister doesn't help his wife at home, this is a man that works far from home, he only comes home weekends, today, they've both been ostracized from the family, this is a man that always postrate to greet everyone in the family

Now, do you see any of us generalising or creating a thread that men are evil, pretentious, cunning, bla bla bla? Do you? Most threads here is always to degrade, insult, shame women, una no dey tire? An isolated scenario should remain isolated on the person involved, why generalise it? When SARS was labeling young guys dressing a certain way Yahoo, fraudsters and all sorts, you guys were gnashing your teeth about, even women protested on your behalf, didn't you guys complain immensely vigorously because of it, make una dey use una brain o, e no hard at all.

Women dinor protest for men ooo..they protestd for their clients...if yahoo work spoil ,hunger go kill most hook up addicts

Biglittlelois:
I witnessed the beating of a sister in-law, as in the husband beat up his wife's elder sister, what was his reason, he said the sister doesn't help his wife at home, this is a man that works far from home, he only comes home weekends, today, they've both been ostracized from the family, this is a man that always postrate to greet everyone in the family

Now, do you see any of us generalising or creating a thread that men are evil, pretentious, cunning, bla bla bla? Do you? Most threads here is always to degrade, insult, shame women, una no dey tire? An isolated scenario should remain isolated on the person involved, why generalise it? When SARS was labeling young guys dressing a certain way Yahoo, fraudsters and all sorts, you guys were gnashing your teeth about, even women protested on your behalf, didn't you guys complain immensely vigorously because of it, make una dey use una brain o, e no hard at all.

Contrary to their claims of being more logical gender, they are actually the more idiotic and prejudiced one.

Ask them why do men usually commit crimes like rape and murder and assaults and he will give excuses of how those are just bad men or men from a certain tribe/religion and how many men are not like that bla bla bla.

But when it comes to women their brains stop functioning.

RightToReject:
The reason isn't far-fetched; women are the weaker vessel, and a vice like pretentiousness is chiefly part and parcel of what it entails to be the weaker vessel. Of course, men have their own vices too.

As a man, to prevent being meted out with a pretentious act like the one in your story, you must always relate with a woman on a defined philosophy, nay you must have a standard you operate on, and must spell it out to her from the inception of your relationship with her.

Servility is as bad as cruelty, say no to both of them. Most men's undiscerning ability, inordinate need for validation and poor concept of respect, which makes them to wittingly or unwittingly use servility rather than justness as the standard to sustain their relationship with women, especially small-minded women, pre-marriage, enable pretentious acts from women and allow them to fester even in marriage in most cases.

As a man, you must consciously make a decision never to put a woman on a pedestal, and don't expect her to put you either, even though that is their understanding of being adored and the surest way to have them walk and work with you seamlessly. Putting them on a pedestal means using servility to sustain your relationship with them, which is always catastrophic in the long-term. Of course, the need not to put a woman on a pedestal doesn't negate being courteous to her and loving her genuinely if she's deserving of love.

Unfortunately, any man that lives for women's validation cannot live on the above philosophy.

Servility this, servility that...so you should trample on her? What you sow is what you reap. There are men who are docile to their wives yet their wives honor them and respect them. If you choose a woman based on the diameter of her boobs and arse you will likely marry a problem but if you marry a woman based on her character and ensure that her character suits yours you will highly likely marry a solution.

If you are a Christian the rules are clear, you are expected to love your wife and your wife is expected to submit to you. This law will only hold if you as a man you are a husband indeed and you married a wife indeed. If as a man you are terrorist and/or you marry a wayward woman your marriage will easily be a disaster.

efficiencie:
Servility this, servility that...so you should trample on her? What you sow is what you reap. There are men who are docile to their wives yet their wives honor them and respect them. If you choose a woman based on the diameter of her boobs and arse you will likely marry a problem but if you marry a woman based on her character and ensure that her character suits yours you will highly likely marry a solution.

If you are a Christian the rules are clear, you are expected to love your wife and your wife is expected to submit to you. This law will only hold if you as a man you are a husband indeed and you married a wife indeed. If as a man you are terrorist and/or you marry a wayward woman your marriage will easily be a disaster.

My post isn't for people with a single-digit IQ like you. Now, scram and direct your further mention to small-minded elements like you.

Bumpkin.

RightToReject:
My post isn't for people with a single-digit IQ like you. Now, scram and direct your further mention to small-minded elements like you.

Bumpkin.

dude why you wan finish me laidis! Single digit IQ? Haba, guy? Why? You go need more than single digit IQ to even use an android phone na. Lol.