₦airaland Forum

Yes

you want people to ask you about the business then u go ahead to scam them.
nice try alaye

[s]

Loveisnotenough:
As early as 16, I've left home to fend for myself, the other time I said it here, many people said I'm narrating Nollywood stories. I felt like God created me to be independent, I don't like depending on anyone, before I left home at 16, she sweared that I'd never be successful and that I should never refer to her as mum again and I risked it and fast forward to 2020, I became a CEO.....This business is still striving and developing healthily as the day goes by....

Now my mum wants me to stop business just to keep her company in a neighbouring city, she said the rent I pay in this city is too much (300k annually) and that in her city (Countryside) here in Nigeria that it's cheaper but because I told her that I have registered my business with CAC and that I cannot leave where my business is growing and start up a new place, here she is again telling me that I'd fail in life that if I cannot leave there, I'd not be able to pay the 300k rent in the next year.

Actually I don't know why my mum will try to manipulate me by force to stay with her even at 25 years old, like are we supposed to be together forever? What if I was married at 20-24? I don't know if I should start hating my mum, people can easily judge you while ignoring your parents flaws.

[/s]

another fake story..


My account is just getting banned for no reason these days, what I do mods!

KiNg0G:
you want people to ask you about the business then u go ahead to scam them.

nice try alaye

Even while trying to explain, you'd see that I still remain fully anonymous, you're a fool if you think I need your money...

I learned and practiced Graphics for 6 years, I'm a 5 star brand designer now...I don't need your approval so as your little money, you can eat suya with it, your neighbor will give you garri again today. Wretched fool. I make more money in a day than you'd make in months.

I beg everyone that this is an actual event... I will use more of candid advices than abuses.

Loveisnotenough:
Even while trying to explain, you'd see that I still remain fully anonymous, you're a fool if you think I need your money...

I learned and practiced Graphics for 6 years, I'm a 5 star brand designer now...I don't need your approval so as your little money, you can eat suya with it, your neighbor will give you garri again today. Wretched fool. I make more money in a day than you'd make in months.

k na go observe your boser you sun for outside,

Loveisnotenough:
I beg everyone that this is an actual event... I will use more of candid advices than abuses.

Are you your mum's only child?
Why does she want you to live close to her?
What about her husband?

Typical African Mother at it again, tell her straight that God only blesses whoever He deemed fit and no one has monopoly over another’s blesssings parent or not.God does not listen to such type of manipulative mother, do the right thing and make sure you don’t offend her while ignoring her manipulative games, God will bless you abundantly if you deserve it and won’t seek her consent before blessing you.Just be careful and very calculative in your dealings with such type of cruel mother.Goodluck to you.

Klass99:
I won't judge you while ignoraing a parent's flaws, because I understand how harsh, cruel and disrespectful Naija parents can be with their words.

One of my first cousins has issues with her parents because of words spoken to her/things said to her in the past. I was present when some of those things were said but several years later, she still hurts from it. She doesn't like answering her parent's calls, her mother's in particular because it often ends in a fight.

You are an adult, do what is best for you and live the life you choose for yourself, not the one others choose for you. If I had listened to my own mother I would be a civil servant in a state ministry, withering away from idleness, inactivity and brain cancer, while being owed salary month after month. But boy am I glad I didn't listen, because I like where my life is at today.

Thank you so much.

mariahAngel:
Are you your mum's only child?
Why does she want you to live close to her?
What about her husband?

She lives with two of my cousins and my dad died 11 months after I was born.

peepydelano:
Typical African Mother at it again, tell her straight that God only blesses whoever He deemed fit and no one has monopoly over another’s blesssings parent or not.God does not listen to such type of manipulative mother, do the right thing and make sure you don’t offend her while ignoring her manipulative games, God will bless you abundantly if you deserve it and won’t seek her consent before blessing you.Just be careful and very calculative in your dealings with such type of cruel mother.Goodluck to you.

Noted. Thanks

KiNg0G:
k na go observe your boser you sun for outside,

You think its everywhere you run mouth anyhow right?.

He zipped up your mouth perfectly.

Klass99:
I won't judge you while ignoring a parent's flaws, because I understand how harsh, cruel and disrespectful some Naija parents can be with their words.

One of my first cousins has issues with her parents because of words spoken to her/things said to her in the past. I was present when some of those things were said but several years later, she still hurts from it. She doesn't like answering her parent's calls, her mother's in particular because it often ends in a fight.

You are an adult, do what is best for you and live the life you choose for yourself, not the one others choose for you. If I had listened to my own mother I would be a civil servant in a state ministry, withering away from idleness, inactivity and brain cancer, while being owed salary month after month. But boy am I glad I didn't listen, because I like where my life is at today.

nice one, I was having a very bad relationship with my parents and they were judging me saying that I'm disrespecting them after all they've done for me bla bla bla. and the truth is that people just behave as if they are perfect and they can do whatever they want because they are our parents. I felt really bad and depressed but just like you said if I followed their opinions I probably will I've been regretting, and though i have not reach where I want to be I think I'm better for not listening to them.
also I noticed his attitude of parents cursing their children and everything and I wonder where they got it because I don't listen to any part of the world I'm suspecting it comes from Nigerian movies, all those evil spirits and parents blessings, like if they cause somebody it will follow the person and hunt them for life.
anyways not all parents are like that. like my cousin her mother treats her so special and dear that people used to say that she was not born to suffer in this world, you probably get anything that she wants as long as our mother is around.

Hmmmmm


She cursed and disowned you but you defied and did well for yourself.

Somehow, you became friends again but history is repeating itself....

What exactly are you afraid of? Go on and continue to do well for yourself....you can look into redefining the dept of your relationship with her though...if she doesnt want your progress then keep the progress from her. May God give you sense....this is a simple something fa. Cheers to your continued success!

KiNg0G:
you want people to ask you about the business then u go ahead to scam them.

nice try alaye

sisisioge:
Hmmmmm


She cursed and disowned you but you defied and did well for yourself.

Somehow, you became friends again but history is repeating itself....

What exactly are you afraid of? Go on and continue to do well for yourself....you can look into redefining the dept of your relationship with her though...if she doesnt want your progress then keep the progress from her. May God give you sense....this is a simple something fa. Cheers to your continued success!

Thanks a lot. I even had to ask her why she wants me to leave but she couldn't convince me enough, why will my mother be in charge of where my company will be? What stake does she have at the company....it's just crazy out here.

Klass99:
Lol . I feel you.

These are things we don't talk about or open up to people, in our Naija society. Once you do 50,000 (Fifty Thousand) individuals will come out of no where to shuush you and insist you are disrespecting your parents, after all they gave birth to you, did this or did that for you, you should be grateful yada yada yada.

No one ever likes to admit that parents can indeed be cruel or be the worse thing to have happened to some children who are adults today. Parenting is equal to sainthood in our society, parents can do no wrong. But even the bible talks about the relationship between parents and children, cautioning parents to not provoke their children to anger BUT that part hardly ever resonates.

In Africa, if they gave birth to you it's like they want to own your life as well. They want to tell you what to do all the time and how to live your life, even as an adult. They forget children are creatures with a mind and a will of their own, desires, hopes and dreams God puts in us. One of my classmates in Uni said she told her mother in the heat of an argument, you gave birth to me, you didn't give me life, God did.

They (parents) simply cannot trust that as an adult you are capable of sound decisions, right choices and right living. They want to interfere, they are either criticizing you or putting you down for your life choices. I don't know what drives them but they sure as hell, know how to mess up people's psyche and self esteem (I saw a thread recently on this)

Our parents can be very rude and disrespectful in Naija sha, but we take it in strides and move because we were raised to not talk back or disrespect elders....But when e choke it's good to hit them back small and let them know, you are human too, you have feelings and you deserve respect as well.

African/Naija children are even good sef . I belong to a foreign forum, with a wider reach and diverse audience. People talk about cutting out parents from their lives and not talking to them for 5 or 6 years, because a parent is toxic, was abusive or something else. Some even say they didn't speak with a parent again till that parent died. In my mind, I will be like this oyinbo people get skoin skoin for head ooo. But who am I to judge? I don't know what they lived through.

Parent worship is becoming toxic.

Loveisnotenough:
Thanks a lot. I even had to ask her why she wants me to leave but she couldn't convince me enough, why will my mother be in charge of where my company will be? What stake does she have at the company....it's just crazy out here.

Why did you establish the new connection to her?

bukatyne:
Why did you establish the new connection to her?

Hoping that she will change but I can now see clearly that she will put her happiness first before mine.

Shidda:
nice one, I was having a very bad relationship with my parents and they were judging me saying that I'm disrespecting them after all they've done for me bla bla bla. and the truth is that people just behave as if they are perfect and they can do whatever they want because they are our parents. I felt really bad and depressed but just like you said if I followed their opinions I probably will I've been regretting, and though i have not reach where I want to be I think I'm better for not listening to them.
also I noticed his attitude of parents cursing their children and everything and I wonder where they got it because I don't listen to any part of the world I'm suspecting it comes from Nigerian movies, all those evil spirits and parents blessings, like if they cause somebody it will follow the person and hunt them for life.
anyways not all parents are like that. like my cousin her mother treats her so special and dear that people used to say that she was not born to suffer in this world, you probably get anything that she wants as long as our mother is around.

This is my experience and more, and concerning the curses part, I told them one day make them curse the curse and not threaten me with it again make we know who the life don spoil and start making amends from there...

Klass99:
Lol . I feel you.

These are things we don't talk about or open up to people, in our Naija society. Once you do 50,000 (Fifty Thousand) individuals will come out of no where to shuush you and insist you are disrespecting your parents, after all they gave birth to you, did this or did that for you, you should be grateful yada yada yada.

No one ever likes to admit that parents can indeed be cruel or be the worse thing to have happened to some children who are adults today. Parenting is equal to sainthood in our society, parents can do no wrong. But even the bible talks about the relationship between parents and children, cautioning parents to not provoke their children to anger BUT that part hardly ever resonates.

In Africa, if they gave birth to you it's like they want to own your life as well. They want to tell you what to do all the time and how to live your life, even as an adult. They forget children are creatures with a mind and a will of their own, desires, hopes and dreams God puts in us. One of my classmates in Uni said she told her mother in the heat of an argument, you gave birth to me, you didn't give me life, God did.

They (parents) simply cannot trust that as an adult you are capable of sound decisions, right choices and right living. They want to interfere, they are either criticizing you or putting you down for your life choices. I don't know what drives them but they sure as hell, know how to mess up people's psyche and self esteem (I saw a thread recently on this)

Our parents can be very rude and disrespectful in Naija sha, but we take it in strides and move because we were raised to not talk back or disrespect elders....But when e choke it's good to hit them back small and let them know, you are human too, you have feelings and you deserve respect as well.

African/Naija children are even good sef . I belong to a foreign forum, with a wider reach and diverse audience. People talk about cutting out parents from their lives and not talking to them for 5 or 6 years, because a parent is toxic, was abusive or something else. Some even say they didn't speak with a parent again till that parent died. In my mind, I will be like this oyinbo people get skoin skoin for head ooo. But who am I to judge? I don't know what they lived through.

Them no get skoi skoi, it is what it is, if I am away from home I don't call my parents, they rather tell my sister to call me because they are not sure of the mood I will be if I will pick their call or not as it's most likely I won't. All you wrote up there is nothing but the truth and the most annoying part is if they are successful, forgetting that the steps they took to get to where they are now will get you no where in today's world... Trying my best to unlearn so many things that has been forcefully and fearfully embedded in me and live my life to the best of my ability.

Loveisnotenough:
As early as 16, I've left home to fend for myself, the other time I said it here, many people said I'm narrating Nollywood stories. I felt like God created me to be independent, I don't like depending on anyone, before I left home at 16, she sweared that I'd never be successful and that I should never refer to her as mum again and I risked it and fast forward to 2020, I became a CEO.....This business is still striving and developing healthily as the day goes by....

Now my mum wants me to stop business just to keep her company in a neighbouring city, she said the rent I pay in this city is too much (300k annually) and that in her city (Countryside) here in Nigeria that it's cheaper but because I told her that I have registered my business with CAC and that I cannot leave where my business is growing and start up a new place, here she is again telling me that I'd fail in life that if I cannot leave there, I'd not be able to pay the 300k rent in the next year.

Actually I don't know why my mum will try to manipulate me by force to stay with her even at 25 years old, like are we supposed to be together forever? What if I was married at 20-24? I don't know if I should start hating my mum, people can easily judge you while ignoring your parents flaws.

Don't hate her yet because it will cause more harm

Involve her family that's her siblings and you guys will have a family meeting and after that meeting, let her denounce what she said and pray for you

You have to take it easy with uoir mother, their tongue can be dangerous

African parents are the most entitled being in the whole universe. They don't train you to be independent but rather prefer to train you to pay them back at their old age.
Some will go as far as telling her married daughter how to run her home even the sons too. They will tell the children what they want them to study in school even if it does not tally with what the child has in mind. They are very selfish and greedy, not all but most of them.
If you don't break from them, you will likely repeat the same thing with your own children.
They know what to say to put depression inside you and make you feel ingrate. Some of them will never ever apologize no matter what wrong they did to you.
Thank goodness I learnt early in life never to imbibe those ugly characters from my parents.

As long as she's not physically dragging you to her place, please stay where you are.

You left home at 16 and have been on your own, why should you succumb to manipulation now?

Talk to her less so that it doesn't affect your mental health. Don't allow a selfish person ruin your life and success even if that person is your mother.

Klass99:
Look at this small terrorist, you have terrorized your parents to a point where they are even afraid to call you on phone now. You better behave yourself ooo before they cut you out of their will .

Jokes aside, from my years of working and living in Lasgidi, if there's one thing I love and admire about Yoruba parents of the older/wealthy generation is that, they understand the assignment when it comes to leaving an inheritance for their children's children. They may get other things wrong but at least they get this one right.

Some parents genuinely mean well but they go about things the wrong way, while others are just downright selfish and do not mean well for their children at all. They want returns on their investment (that is you a child) they want it now and they want it fast, so most of their advice is designed to benefit them, more than you.

There was a front page thread where people talked about the relationship they had with their mothers, OP if you didn't see that thread, pls search for it. Sorry I don't have the link and can't recall the thread titile. It was an educating thread.

That will matter, they have done that and when I got tired of it I told them I was not interested in their properties, and he stopped the threat and change to you are my only son and all my properties are in your name and I was like what changed.
For the calls, it's annoying, people might say this guy is lucky to even have parents that call him, but I know what I am saying, the calls are more or less to monitor me and to ensure that I have not gone astray because of what their numerous prophets told them and they rather believe them than believe me, and it had really affected me in many ways... This person, "Kakamorufu" can bare me witness, how they called me in school one day and I forgot my phone at home to go and print my course form at night in the Cafe which was the only time we could get it done due to network issue during the day, they had to call my roommates when I was not picking mine and all hell was let loose when I came back and called them back... I went with someone and I told him when I noticed that I left my phone at home that my parents are yet to call me today and if they call before I get back to hostel wahala go dey and that was exactly what happened. Mum first called and rant for God knows how long she dropped amd dad did same, this is someone who gained admission at age 22 ooo, which was also as a result of their own doing because they rather choose the school I will attend based on them knowing someone there who will keep watch over me and it was not as if I was a rascal at any point in time except that I was the only son who they want to protect by all means not minding if they are hurting me and limiting me or not. Eyes don see, only few will understand how much I envy some without parents.

@Loveisnotenough, this should be the link she was talking about
https://www.nairaland.com/6926806/hatred-mother-getting-worse

ImaIma1:
As long as she's not physically dragging you to her place, please stay where you are.

You left home at 16 and have been on your own, why should you succumb to manipulation now?

Talk to her less so that it doesn't affect your mental health. Don't allow a selfish person ruin your life and success even if that person is your mother.

Very great advice.

My mum that I used to send as much as 20k sometimes now tell me it's 1k-2k that I make in my shop and I cannot afford the 300k ever..

I can't believe my mum can't even believe me even seeing how much I toil to always bring something home, I don't always go home when I have less than 40k.

I'm not saying she hasn't tried for me, she had loaned me 100k before but I don't know why she wants to put her happiness before my career, how she wants a booming business in (Lagos) to move to like (Ijebu Igbo) *not real location*