₦airaland Forum

UnconventionalT:
I don't live in Nigeria.

so who is stopping you from doing what you like . Men and women need to be honest with themselves. Many are getting married due to societal pressures and ending up in silly divorces. there are men who also like being alone and their personal spaces only to be pressured into marriage and the wife starts to irritate them

Am on this table as well, used to think I was wierd

UnconventionalT:
I've been a guest of the platform, I created this account to get the opinions of my people since I happen to be a Nigerian.


I am a lady in my late 20s and I have discovered over the years that although I love love and the idea of marriage, I believe the conventional typical marriage will not work for me.
I am a core introvert, I enjoy my space a lot and I loose so much of my energy spending a lot of time around people. When I was in uni years ago, I made sure I didn't enter a relationship with a guy in my school because I didn't want a boyfriend that will most likely always want to be in same space as me, or try to spend very much time together.
I enjoy long distance relationship, because it means I will not be seeing my patner at all times, I only enjoy little moments of companionship before I get tired of sharing the same space with my patner no matter how in love I am.

I have observed over the few years that the few guys I've been with are people that didn't live in same town as me, and when I tried dating men within close proximity, it always ends in complaints from them about how I don't miss them enough to come spend time.

I don't enjoy sleep-overs, although I've been compelled to do that on very few occasions(probably less than 4 times) I always can't wait to get back to my house, I have never spent more than one night at a stretch with any of my ex. I really do enjoy long video calls.

To be honest, I am also not a fan of sex, I could go months without it. I can't imagine being married and having to do that all the time with a sexually active man that I'll continually share my space with. The only time I feel the urge to do that is when I am on my ovulation period which is quite normal for most women. I am doing my japa masters degree and I tried to develop a relationship with someone I really love and attracted to, he is currently complaining about same thing my ex would complain about.

I could be married tomorrow if I want to as I have two men ready to do that with me, but I cannot lie to myself or the man that intends to marry me and have him live his life in misery. I love children and want to have my own kids.
My idea of marriage will be a marriage of convenience, where my husband and I do not necessarily have to live under the same roof for extended periods of time and we can co parent our kids on our own terms. This is the only way I can have a long lasting marriage if I am not deceiving myself. A long distance marriage, family vacations, have the privilege of being married and still be able to occupy my own personal space as much as I want. This can be reviewed as time goes on by the way.
I am not certain if I can meet a man that shares the same idealogy with me, I'll get married to him tomorrow

The only thing I'll regret not having by the time I'm 30 will be a child of my own, I carried a baby in church today and I wished it was mine. I have babysitted my nieces before and I enjoyed my time with them, kids brings me a lot of positive energy. I really don't mind having just 2 kids for a responsible adult man that isn't really interested in marriage as well.

It's not my fault, my marriage will fail if I try to practise it the typical way and it won't even be the fault of the man(if he is a good man).

Help me out guys, I am at a cross roads. Are there men that are open to long distance marriages? I'll be in the comment to reply as much as I can.

Mods pls help move to front page.

SucideIsreal:
Am on this table as well, used to think I was wierd

It's good to know I'm not alone.

UnconventionalT:
Yes, they don't have to always be with me, my husband and I can co parent successfully over long distance.

Your idea is great....
I share the same too...

But I hope you know there are consequences except if it's an open marriage agreement

Your hubby could be cheating on you....you could be cheating too....

Only if you don't care ....
long distance relationship have both the pretty side and ugly side ...m

My own idea is....I want to marry someone who will allow me see her only on weekends... even though we leave under the same roof, but different apartment....
I don't want to be *too used* to my spouse...
I hate *see finish* in marriage especially at the beginning of it....

All the girls have told about it, don't like the idea..

I just tire

Starz825:
Your idea is great....
I share the same too...

But I hope you know there are consequences except if it's an open marriage agreement

Your hubby could be cheating on you....you could be cheating too....

Only if you don't care ....
long distance relationship have both the pretty side and ugly side ...m

My own idea is....I want to marry someone who will allow me see her only on weekends... even though we leave under the same roof, but different apartment....
I don't want to be *too used* to my spouse...
I hate *see finish* in marriage especially at the beginning of it....

All the girls have told about it, don't like the idea..

I just tire

Good enough, I am not a cheat. As long as I am with someone, I can't be with another person. I've never been with 2 men at a time.

I totally agree with you that marriage is not for you.

But I also think having children is not for you either.

Please do the innocent children and the society at large a favor, don't have any child also.

Thank you very much.

UnconventionalT:
Two daughters? What if it turns out to be two sons? As much as I want to have kids, I am not gender specific. I don't want to set myself up for heatbreak.

My love for a gender doesn't spoil it all...I love children alot but I would love to have daughters tho..if sons come, fine by moa...

If you love your space so much that you feel irritated when others come into it, then don't have kids, I repeat, don't have kids. Kids can change your life dreams., goals, energy and just about everything about you. You won't even have that space you so desire. you may never have it until they are teenagers when they will begin to find you irritated when you crawl into their space. So they will be the one creating the space .

You think you love kids because they are not dependent on you since you are not their parents.
Enjoy your space and forget both marriage and kids.

But I tho k you will cha he your mind later, you will get married but you will always have to deal with being depressed because your kids and husband will take over your life

Nwaotu10:
I share a similar ideology with you.
I don't see myself trailing the path of marriage ever.

I can't have a thing with you shaa, you're already old. You are nearing menopause if I'm not mistaken.


I'm currently looking for a young girl (18-22) that will go baby mama route with me.

So late 20s is 'nearing menopause'?

These kids are ruining the forum

Octopusssy:
So late 20s is 'nearing menopause'?

These kids are ruining the forum

Don't mind him.

Frankly, I'm inclined to think you are this way because you haven't lived for an extended time with someone of the same thinking as yours. I don't think you don't want to live with a man. Instead I think you don't want to live with a man who's constantly in your space. Many people who say this haven't experienced the kind of love that will make them change their mind, so they think it's about the marriage instead of realising it's about the man.

And you say you like kids? I don't think you realise that kids are even more demanding than the man. You don't know what pressure kids will always put on you. Not to mention that your kid could turn out completely different from you and your husband. What would you do if your kid were overly dependent and wants to constantly be in your space? You'll start reading a four year old the riot act? Wake up! You need to come down to earth and actually tell yourself what you really want.

As far as I can tell, I just feel you haven't met that man you can actually live with, instead of wanting to live away from any man at all. And perhaps the frustration of not having found the man is what is leading you to think like this

Come make me marry then.I dont mind.Na the way I dey reason now.

CountVersailles:
Frankly, I'm inclined to think you are this way because you haven't lived for an extended time with someone of the same thinking as yours. I don't think you don't want to live with a man. Instead I think you don't want to live with a man who's constantly in your space. Many people who say this haven't experienced the kind of love that will make them change their mind, so they think it's about the marriage instead of realising it's about the man.

And you say you like kids? I don't think you realise that kids are even more demanding than the man. You don't know what pressure kids will always put on you. Not to mention that your kid could turn out completely different from you and your husband. What would you do if your kid were overly dependent and wants to constantly be in your space? You'll start reading a four year old the riot act? Wake up! You need to come down to earth and actually tell yourself what you really want.

As far as I can tell, I just feel you haven't met that man you can actually live with, instead of wanting to live away from any man at all. And perhaps the frustration of not having found the man is what is leading you to think like this

True for this part, reading OP's responses, you can can tell she doesn't have any experience around raising kids or babies. She never see anything for real. You can also tell that OP is in her early 20s, probably 21 or 22, because no way you'd be around 26 - 29 & not know the difficult process of taking care of kids from your friends who complain everyday or co-worker in the office who is always taking day offs to attend to maternal or sick baby issues.

Nigerian husbands don't even need much supervision sincerely, as long you allow them watch football, hangout with their boys & keep food at home. Especially those in professions like Doctors, Military personel or far away offshore engineers that rarely stay at home. If I remember clearly, a lot of people report that mandatory stay at home during Covid actually made them discover their partners, a lot of people don't even know who they married.

OP's teenage version of relationship & lovey-dovey must be clowning her judgement.

The last thing you will want to do in life is to deceive yourself.

You like your space.

Yet you want kids

You also dont want to stay with your man for more than 24hrs

Yet you want the kids to be part of his life..


How confused can you be?


I think you should not take this selfish mentality to frustrate another human being as well as little babies. I think you are better off living alone for the rest of your life.

Hmmn, you aren't alone. The way, I was reading this ehn.

Be patient, u will eventually get your kinda man who understands....
I kinda have some traits you mentioned even as a guy, so don't think u are weird

UnconventionalT:
I've been a guest of the platform, I created this account to get the opinions of my people since I happen to be a Nigerian.


I am a lady in my late 20s and I have discovered over the years that although I love love and the idea of marriage, I believe the conventional typical marriage will not work for me.
I am a core introvert, I enjoy my space a lot and I loose so much of my energy spending a lot of time around people. When I was in uni years ago, I made sure I didn't enter a relationship with a guy in my school because I didn't want a boyfriend that will most likely always want to be in same space as me, or try to spend very much time together.
I enjoy long distance relationship, because it means I will not be seeing my patner at all times, I only enjoy little moments of companionship before I get tired of sharing the same space with my patner no matter how in love I am.

I have observed over the few years that the few guys I've been with are people that didn't live in same town as me, and when I tried dating men within close proximity, it always ends in complaints from them about how I don't miss them enough to come spend time.

I don't enjoy sleep-overs, although I've been compelled to do that on very few occasions(probably less than 4 times) I always can't wait to get back to my house, I have never spent more than one night at a stretch with any of my ex. I really do enjoy long video calls.

To be honest, I am also not a fan of sex, I could go months without it. I can't imagine being married and having to do that all the time with a sexually active man that I'll continually share my space with. The only time I feel the urge to do that is when I am on my ovulation period which is quite normal for most women. I am doing my japa masters degree and I tried to develop a relationship with someone I really love and attracted to, he is currently complaining about same thing my ex would complain about.

I could be married tomorrow if I want to as I have two men ready to do that with me, but I cannot lie to myself or the man that intends to marry me and have him live his life in misery. I love children and want to have my own kids.
My idea of marriage will be a marriage of convenience, where my husband and I do not necessarily have to live under the same roof for extended periods of time and we can co parent our kids on our own terms. This is the only way I can have a long lasting marriage if I am not deceiving myself. A long distance marriage, family vacations, have the privilege of being married and still be able to occupy my own personal space as much as I want. This can be reviewed as time goes on by the way.
I am not certain if I can meet a man that shares the same idealogy with me, I'll get married to him tomorrow

The only thing I'll regret not having by the time I'm 30 will be a child of my own, I carried a baby in church today and I wished it was mine. I have babysitted my nieces before and I enjoyed my time with them, kids brings me a lot of positive energy. I really don't mind having just 2 kids for a responsible adult man that isn't really interested in marriage as well.

It's not my fault, my marriage will fail if I try to practise it the typical way and it won't even be the fault of the man(if he is a good man).

Help me out guys, I am at a cross roads. Are there men that are open to long distance marriages? I'll be in the comment to reply as much as I can.

Mods pls help move to front page.

Waooh. I'm interested in this your type of marriage and I mean it.
Never knew there are ladies that can want such.

There is more fear than love in your life.

Rafiquie:
There is more fear than love in your life.

How do you mean?

I wish you luck and may you meet him sooner. You have to be patient, you’ll find him

UnconventionalT:
I've been a guest of the platform, I created this account to get the opinions of my people since I happen to be a Nigerian.


I am a lady in my late 20s and I have discovered over the years that although I love love and the idea of marriage, I believe the conventional typical marriage will not work for me.
I am a core introvert, I enjoy my space a lot and I loose so much of my energy spending a lot of time around people. When I was in uni years ago, I made sure I didn't enter a relationship with a guy in my school because I didn't want a boyfriend that will most likely always want to be in same space as me, or try to spend very much time together.
I enjoy long distance relationship, because it means I will not be seeing my patner at all times, I only enjoy little moments of companionship before I get tired of sharing the same space with my patner no matter how in love I am.

I have observed over the few years that the few guys I've been with are people that didn't live in same town as me, and when I tried dating men within close proximity, it always ends in complaints from them about how I don't miss them enough to come spend time.

I don't enjoy sleep-overs, although I've been compelled to do that on very few occasions(probably less than 4 times) I always can't wait to get back to my house, I have never spent more than one night at a stretch with any of my ex. I really do enjoy long video calls.

To be honest, I am also not a fan of sex, I could go months without it. I can't imagine being married and having to do that all the time with a sexually active man that I'll continually share my space with. The only time I feel the urge to do that is when I am on my ovulation period which is quite normal for most women. I am doing my japa masters degree and I tried to develop a relationship with someone I really love and attracted to, he is currently complaining about same thing my ex would complain about.

I could be married tomorrow if I want to as I have two men ready to do that with me, but I cannot lie to myself or the man that intends to marry me and have him live his life in misery. I love children and want to have my own kids.
My idea of marriage will be a marriage of convenience, where my husband and I do not necessarily have to live under the same roof for extended periods of time and we can co parent our kids on our own terms. This is the only way I can have a long lasting marriage if I am not deceiving myself. A long distance marriage, family vacations, have the privilege of being married and still be able to occupy my own personal space as much as I want. This can be reviewed as time goes on by the way.
I am not certain if I can meet a man that shares the same idealogy with me, I'll get married to him tomorrow

The only thing I'll regret not having by the time I'm 30 will be a child of my own, I carried a baby in church today and I wished it was mine. I have babysitted my nieces before and I enjoyed my time with them, kids brings me a lot of positive energy. I really don't mind having just 2 kids for a responsible adult man that isn't really interested in marriage as well.

It's not my fault, my marriage will fail if I try to practise it the typical way and it won't even be the fault of the man(if he is a good man).

Help me out guys, I am at a cross roads. Are there men that are open to long distance marriages? I'll be in the comment to reply as much as I can.

Mods pls help move to front page.

Just face your front and ensure you don't marry anybody. When the time for you to truly want children comes, just tell me and I waybill my semen to you free of charge.
Don't worry you can keep the children, I won't come for them I promise.

You can have it, just don't expect it to change tommorow when u might need company

There is nothing wrong about that. The world around us has changed a lot.

All you have to do is to find an understanding man who who wants same. I am sure its not gunna be hard to find as lots of guys are also not interested in the conventional marriage settings.

Be honest with each other and have good plans about the number of kids you want, visitations, finances for taking care of a child and lots of ithe nitty gritties.

Chiderao1:
■ You can have it, just don't expect it to change tommorow when u might need company

So folks who have kids can't also have company?

UnconventionalT:
I've been a guest of the platform, I created this account to get the opinions of my people since I happen to be a Nigerian.


I am a lady in my late 20s and I have discovered over the years that although I love love and the idea of marriage, I believe the conventional typical marriage will not work for me.
I am a core introvert, I enjoy my space a lot and I loose so much of my energy spending a lot of time around people. When I was in uni years ago, I made sure I didn't enter a relationship with a guy in my school because I didn't want a boyfriend that will most likely always want to be in same space as me, or try to spend very much time together.
I enjoy long distance relationship, because it means I will not be seeing my patner at all times, I only enjoy little moments of companionship before I get tired of sharing the same space with my patner no matter how in love I am.

I have observed over the few years that the few guys I've been with are people that didn't live in same town as me, and when I tried dating men within close proximity, it always ends in complaints from them about how I don't miss them enough to come spend time.

I don't enjoy sleep-overs, although I've been compelled to do that on very few occasions(probably less than 4 times) I always can't wait to get back to my house, I have never spent more than one night at a stretch with any of my ex. I really do enjoy long video calls.

To be honest, I am also not a fan of sex, I could go months without it. I can't imagine being married and having to do that all the time with a sexually active man that I'll continually share my space with. The only time I feel the urge to do that is when I am on my ovulation period which is quite normal for most women. I am doing my japa masters degree and I tried to develop a relationship with someone I really love and attracted to, he is currently complaining about same thing my ex would complain about.

I could be married tomorrow if I want to as I have two men ready to do that with me, but I cannot lie to myself or the man that intends to marry me and have him live his life in misery. I love children and want to have my own kids.
My idea of marriage will be a marriage of convenience, where my husband and I do not necessarily have to live under the same roof for extended periods of time and we can co parent our kids on our own terms. This is the only way I can have a long lasting marriage if I am not deceiving myself. A long distance marriage, family vacations, have the privilege of being married and still be able to occupy my own personal space as much as I want. This can be reviewed as time goes on by the way.
I am not certain if I can meet a man that shares the same idealogy with me, I'll get married to him tomorrow

The only thing I'll regret not having by the time I'm 30 will be a child of my own, I carried a baby in church today and I wished it was mine. I have babysitted my nieces before and I enjoyed my time with them, kids brings me a lot of positive energy. I really don't mind having just 2 kids for a responsible adult man that isn't really interested in marriage as well.

It's not my fault, my marriage will fail if I try to practise it the typical way and it won't even be the fault of the man(if he is a good man).

Help me out guys, I am at a cross roads. Are there men that are open to long distance marriages? I'll be in the comment to reply as much as I can.

Mods pls help move to front page.

You are my kind of person. At some point, I wanted to discuss with a lesbian to give birth to 2 kids for me and she can continue to have female partners. I just enjoy being alone.

By the way, I'm in the UK too

TheSociopath:
You are my kind of person. At some point, I wanted to discuss with a lesbian to give birth to 2 kids for me and she can continue to have female partners. I just enjoy being alone.

By the way, I'm in the UK too

When I can have all of em?😎


Marry her so you can have access to all her Bi-sexual female partners 😎

BaEnki:
I had this feeling before lol

And I'm still kinda having it. I enjoy my time & personal space. I'd zeroed out my mind on any relationship untill I met with someone that we shared a lot of things including my weirdness, so I think you gonna met someone like yourself soon too.

What Nationality is the lady you met

Fhaze:
What Nationality is the lady you met

She’s a Nigerian

All this personality would fly when you start having your own kids.....no space is yours when kids are involved LoL.


Those beautiful creature can make an hostile mom become friendly by force.