₦airaland Forum

Mamuzo13:
Thanks so much although I'm an introvert I made sure to have people I relate with most especially in my department and faculty, I also have 2 really close friends but I like to stay inside and read, pray just focusing on myself overall but I'm now feeling like I did something wrong. I've sensed some hostility from some girls in my own block

Slynation:
In as much as it's good to network with people, you have to be picky when it comes to who you roll with, some of them just need your familiarity just so they can have unlimited access to your food and your pants...

One thing you should never allow is see finish, I will always tell anybody that. During my first degree in school, I made that mistake of associating with any dick and harry, I allowed a friend of mine to stay with me in my room for a week and that was how I had an unplanned roommate, this guy has the temerity to bring in his friend as well (how far my guy, naso e guy take turn my guy) and before you know it, we became four in that room, I didn't see it as a big deal because I rarely sleep in the room, but the most annoying part was that I was still the one replenishing all stocks, my beverages goes down under a weak, my cornflakes can't even see the next sunrise, my foodstuffs is for the general household and this was going on for months without complain...

So one day, I decided to act broke and see the outcome, I stopped bringing foodstuffs, because mine comes every fortnight, I stopped restocking and omo...!! that was when I knew people's true nature, they deserted me like who was diagnosed with leprosy, and that was when I knew they had money. Apparently, my money is for the general household while theirs is for personal savings...well, we were almost rounding up and I became my normal self and resumed being me, but it was a lesson I took to my second degree...

During my second degree, before you near my house, you must call me, even if you are my next door neighbor. I associated with people like a flash, today I'm vibing tomorrow I'm in my privacy, I eliminated all forms of see finish in my life and people saw me as a very calculated and calm guy who doesn't give a fvck...

So my dear, you are on the right track. In Economics, there is what we call "Autonomous Consumption" and every students are looking towards that on daily basis...!! Associate with people but don't give room for see-finish...

Mamuzo13:
Thank you
One thing I noticed in the hostel when I moved in is a lot of them have some kind of relationship were they enter each other's room and share stuff and food. I come from a single mom house and I have to manage myself and not put a strain on my mom so I didn't want to join that kind of community especially since the kitchen is outside. I remember there was a day a girl complained someone entered her kitchen to take her cooler. A guy once knocked on my door around 10 to ask me for groundnut, I didn't open though and spoke to him from inside

Mamuzo13:
Thank you
One thing I noticed in the hostel when I moved in is a lot of them have some kind of relationship were they enter each other's room and share stuff and food. I come from a single mom house and I have to manage myself and not put a strain on my mom so I didn't want to join that kind of community especially since the kitchen is outside. I remember there was a day a girl complained someone entered her kitchen to take her cooler. A guy once knocked on my door around 10 to ask me for groundnut, I didn't open though and spoke to him from inside

Mamuzo13:
Hi good morning, I need you guys advice on this.
So when I first resumed to university the hostel I stayed in was a new hostel like half of us were freshers and some big boys and older girls but quite a few rooms only about 15 or so. We did have problems in that hostel especially with one big guy at the back harassing with an incident where he was arrested. I'm an introvert by nature but I got along very well. My very close friends who are roomates still live there but will probably move soon due to hostel issues. However even when I go to visit them I'm really cool with a lot of people there.
So due to a lot of this issues I moved out to another hostel, bigger in size 39 rooms in all.
Moving here I'm currently staying alone as I plan to convert this room into a makeup studio too. I'm a very polite person by nature and I endeavour to greet everybody I see even if I'm just going out or fetching water with a smile on my face, but I've chose to mind my business. The hostel is mostly filled with older students and 3 different blocks. I don't know a lot of people here, however when I moved I started having some people, guys always asking me when they see me probably fetching water why don't I come outside (?)
At first I just took it as nothing but there seemed to be this odd curiosity and slight hostility in some towards me in my block (I don't really have any reason to go to other blocks).
The network is poor here for mtn but I also have glo which isn't bad. I go about my daily business normally but at night some guys and girls like to hang outside probably to browse. I'm not comfortable nor feel the need to do that, perhaps that's the 'come outside' they are talking about. I do engage in small talk with people in the hostel when I see them, 2 freshers in another block, one girl in block c, my next door neighbour and like 2 othere guys in my block.
There was an incident where a guy in my level, different courses; a coursemate of mine was visiting this guy(i don't know him personally he's from another block) came to knock my door and query me as to why I don't come out, he asked me why I don't even relate with the 2 girls in our level in another block ( I actually have those girls on WhatsApp, they've been to my room like twice and I went to see them once). I was baffled, the next day he came to ask me if i was going to church I said no, and he was like he wanted to make sure I'm around so he can come and read with me for exam. I told him I was going to my friend's place. I have had other guy's come to meet me maybe when I'm outside cooking and stuff cause kitchen is outside and ask this same question.
Now I really hate hearing that sentence "why don't you come outside?
This hostel is filled with a lot of cliques and so many complicated relationships I don't want to get tangled in all that. I'm not looking for friends here just to be cordial with the people who live around me and I've always been very polite and greet everytime even when I don't know them.
Please am I doing something wrong?

Mamuzo13:
Thank you
One thing I noticed in the hostel when I moved in is a lot of them have some kind of relationship were they enter each other's room and share stuff and food. I come from a single mom house and I have to manage myself and not put a strain on my mom so I didn't want to join that kind of community especially since the kitchen is outside. I remember there was a day a girl complained someone entered her kitchen to take her cooler. A guy once knocked on my door around 10 to ask me for groundnut, I didn't open though and spoke to him from inside

Mamuzo13:
Thanks so much although I'm an introvert I made sure to have people I relate with most especially in my department and faculty, I also have 2 really close friends but I like to stay inside and read, pray just focusing on myself overall but I'm now feeling like I did something wrong. I've sensed some hostility from some girls in my own block