₦airaland Forum

Hi All,

I’m really in need of assistance from anyone who has experienced or words of advise on the emotional trauma I’m encountering at the moment.

I’m married to a EU National in the UK with kids and finally joined her from Nigeria 4 years ago and got my residence permit. She has a 22 year old daughter who returned from the US and started living with us.
It’s like she came from hell and has been a torn in my flesh, she’s disrespectful,arrogant,practising all manner of spiritualism in my home that I pay 70% on, burning all kinds of candles and incense.

She doesn’t even work and depends on money from her mother, spending it lavishly. I had a quarrel with her once after an argument and just let her do her things without saying a word to her anymore.She doesn’t even greet me in the morning, now brings boys to my home to sleep with and does all manner of nonsense in my living room., that I don’t even want to sit and watch tv or do anything there anymore.

The mother have started her own by acting strange. She sleeps in a different room, not even had sex with her for weeks now and requested I bring 100% of what I was giving her before for the house keep, despite I’m buying my own stuffs.

I’m here because I don’t really know what to do anymore. I feel lonely, alone and at times regretting coming over to the UK.
I’m keeping my cool cos of my immigration status and would really need help at the moment as I’m dying psychologically and don’t know whom I am anymore.

Thanks for reading!!!!!

divorce

This is one of the disadvantages of marrying a single Mom. I'm sure you married her because she was based in the Europe. Men, learn to work hard and be the Man of the house. Stop looking for already made women. They'll only use you.

Now with the current situation, it's a matter of time before they end your life or you even kill somebody and end it yourself out of depression. Please, for your own sanity, I'll say leave the marriage. That woman has finished using you and so nothing will make her treat you right again therefore no need staying put.
She's wicked enough for bringing another man's child into your matrimonio home and very heartless for denying you your marital rights because of the same daughter issues. This simply shows she calls the shots in the marriage because of her position.

Just divorce her if you can and move on. Otherwise, leave her and her trouble child quietly and go out of sight to clear your head until you're fit enough to go through the divorce process. So that at least you can have access to your children. If not for children, I'll say you avoid such a wicked fellow completely.

Hm . It is well. With all this evil human beings we have around these days, is marriage even worth it? Black minds everywhere.

Just come back to Nigeria since you are spending all the money you are making there and still not having peace of mind.

Oga travel if you have the means to another city and rest. Nor go kill yourself by yourself.

You married for papers. Carry your cross. Same thing can happen with a Nigerian woman and nothing go commot but in UK you go get passport. Divorce her immediately you become a citizen

Divorce

Both your said wife and her daughter are already convinced that you are a golddigger that went into a marriage because of papers.
Your continued stay in the UK is at her mercy. As a non EU family member of an EU citizen with settled Status in the UK, it may still take you some time to qualify for a permanent residence permit,
you may try looking for a Job that offers visa sponsorship, also try seek Immigration advise.

Fortunechris43:
Hi All,

I’m really in need of assistance from anyone who has experienced or words of advise on the emotional trauma I’m encountering at the moment.

I’m married to a EU National in the UK with kids and finally joined her from Nigeria 4 years ago and got my residence permit. She has a 22 year old daughter who returned from the US and started living with us.
It’s like she came from hell and has been a torn in my flesh, she’s disrespectful,arrogant,practising all manner of spiritualism in my home that I pay 70% on, burning all kinds of candles and incense.

She doesn’t even work and depends on money from her mother, spending it lavishly. I had a quarrel with her once after an argument and just let her do her things without saying a word to her anymore. She doesn’t even greet me in the morning, now brings boys to my home to sleep with and does all manner of nonsense in my living room., that I don’t even want to sit and watch tv or do anything there anymore.

The mother have started her own by acting strange. She sleeps in a different room, not even had sex with her for weeks now and requested I bring 100% of what I was giving her before for the house keep, despite I’m buying my own stuffs.

I’m here because I don’t really know what to do anymore. I feel lonely, alone and at times regretting coming over to the UK.
I’m keeping my cool cos of my immigration status and would really need help at the moment as I’m dying psychologically and don’t know whom I am anymore.

Thanks for reading!!!!!

Jewessgratitud3:
This is one of the disadvantages of marrying a single Mom. I'm sure you married her because she was based in the Europe. Men, learn to work hard and be the Man of the house. Stop looking for already made women. They'll only use you.

She's wicked enough for bringing another man's child into your matrimonio home and very heartless for denying you your marital rights because of the same daughter issues. This simply shows she calls the shots in the marriage because of her position.

When you both write home/house, does it mean OP OWNS the house they are living in? As far as I am concerned unless the house is in his name, it is not his. That phrase is being abused. As it is, OP does not own anything tangible asset.

Secondly, it is her child. Whether another man bore her, the child's mother has the right to there. Just because she married a black African man does not mean she cannot visit her mom again.

Following

Gerrard59:
When you both write home/house, does it mean OP OWNS the house they are living in? As far as I am concerned unless the house is in his name, it is not his. That phrase is being abused. As it is, OP does not own anything tangible asset.

Secondly, it is her child. Whether another man bore her, the child's mother has the right to there. Just because she married a black African man does not mean she cannot visit her mom again.

Mr man, we are clearly not talking about a house (building) here but a "home" which is the family they have both formed with a standard before the step daughter walked into the picture with her wayward lifestyle that doesn't conform with the homes standard and how he want his home to be run. This is what the op is worried about because he has kids with this woman who can be easily influenced by the step daughters behavior if he continues to keep quiet about the whole thing.

The wife on the other didn't help matters by moving out of their matrimonial room just because the man expressed his displeasure over her daughters behavior. it doesn't matter if she owns the house (building) or not. Shes only causing more damage to her home and encouraging her to continue destroying the home they had suffered to build together.

All these new accounts have the same hand writing.

Jewessgratitud3:
This is one of the disadvantages of marrying a single Mom. I'm sure you married her because she was based in the Europe. Men, learn to work hard and be the Man of the house. Stop looking for already made women. They'll only use you.

Now with the current situation, it's a matter of time before they end your life or you even kill somebody and end it yourself out of depression. Please, for your own sanity, I'll say leave the marriage. That woman has finished using you and so nothing will make her treat you right again therefore no need staying put.
She's wicked enough for bringing another man's child into your matrimonio home and very heartless for denying you your marital rights because of the same daughter issues. This simply shows she calls the shots in the marriage because of her position.

Just divorce her if you can and move on. Otherwise, leave her and her trouble child quietly and go out of sight to clear your head until you're fit enough to go through the divorce process. So that at least you can have access to your children. If not for children, I'll say you avoid such a wicked fellow completely.

Hm . It is well. With all this evil human beings we have around these days, is marriage even worth it? Black minds everywhere.

You again,erinma aka mercychen. I know it must be you. Different monikers but same childishness. There is nothing as painful as seeing asinime in a grown human body( worse off one that is close to 40)

When will you end you infantile prejudice cloaked in religion? You are calling a teenage evil for living the exuberance tied to their age or for practising her religion spiritism?

Obviously the kid is going wild and I will point out areas of it, but op talked of her burning incense and candles as a flaw.
Poor upbringing and lack of home training is at play( bringing boys to the house) her but accusing the wife of being evil or claiming she used him is absurd, especially when he claims she provides for the daughter with her money.

At least you were right about one thing,he should file for a divorce because the African man is not equipped with living with teenagers abroad that they can't flog,abuse ,control or so. The other day one flogged his son of 16 years and was jailed.
This is obviously not their terrain where the man is king( "you and your useless daughter pack your load and leave my house" . Or "drop your kids at your parents house else this marriage is over". They should stick to marrying their Nigerian wives and opting for 'Africa approved union' of a man-wife only and have their peace, because their territorial and egoistic nature can't fit into the western world.
The western world doesn't make provisions for a man ego or territorialism.

She knows you married her because of resident permit

If you have been married for at least three years and lived at least one year in the UK, then the divorce will not affect your right of residence. I am assuming that the permit you have is the five-year residence card issued to families of EU citizens.

If divorcing her will give you problem,then keep your cool till you get what you want and while doing that. Save for your future.

Don't marry a single mum except u are a single father.

That is all.