₦airaland Forum

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Mercylike:
Will you shut up man?

Definitely your wife married the wrong man?

See you being petty, too petty..

What wrong if you get a cloth yourself?

Why should your wife inform you b4 she take her child out? Who does that ?


You obviously have a. Big issue and ur wife will regret marrying you....

He married a man with old useless mentality that women are slave to men in marriage

Be careful how you talk to him. The man get hot temper O

Ishilove:
Your silver tongue won't work. Go make your own sandwich

my love isn't caring anymore and it hurts
What happened to preparing my sandwich and kneeling to serve while genuflecting before taking away the dishes after I'm done

What a causticband corrosive man!

Your wife don enter am.

I imagine the woman living with this for the next 20 years; hopefully she doesn't have high B.P

Paramount01:
I am very temperamental, I stayed together with my wife and my 1year old baby with a neighbour in the next compound where we share a fence,my wife always piss me off most times by not obeying or listen to what I say,if I tell my wife something now that I don't like , she might listen for a moment but with a short period of time you see my wife doing what I don't like again,I am tired

Don't serve me food without cloths to wash my hand after eating ,it is very disgusting to me using my hands to clean my head or chair after a meal, she will obey for some days but change within a few days to her normal ways

Don't take my baby anywhere without you pre-informing me before going, my wife will not listen, I have talked and talked.

Prepare to cook,not just enter kitchen and join anything you see together and say I should manage it,I provide all what that Is necessary for the cooking,I gave her money for soup at the begining of the months so that I wouldn't hear ,no money to buy this,just imagined,I have been eating food without salt for almost a month now,I don't want to confront hwr because I just assumed salt just finish until yesterday I still saw my food without salt ,asked her ," you no dey use salt cooked again ni or they warn you not to use salt in food again,but my wife said she forgot for more than a week,I can't confidently tell my colleague to test my food until I test it becaue I don't know if Maggie or too much pepe is inside,not that she don't know how to cook,but she don't use to be prepared to cook,anything she finds at home just join it together and take.


I just observed the only time my wife listened to corrections was when we had issues that the second neighbor would hear due to the fence we shared.

Pls how can I correct her without my neighbour hearing our arguments

Cool down man, that's how most of them are when they are nursing baby, she will change soon. Encourage her too. Speak to her gently not rudely. Thanks

Chief commander... I salute u o!
Did you say u were correcting your wife abi your child? If she sets table and forgets tablecloth, and you stand up and get it yourself , will u die? Abi are u invalid? Honestly, you are not ok. If she cooks and salt is not to your liking and u add salt to it, will your name change? I don't know what they told you marriage is, or what you saw/ heard your father doing or saying to your mother that now made you think another person's child is your servant because she is your wife but i put it to u that you are not ready for a happy and healthy home.

I sure say OP go still dey vex even when e dey sex with e wife. People like am go always find something to vex about. Just imagine di flimsy reason wey e dey give for e anger. Abeg, dey check your BP regularly before you die and another man do full mount for your wife.

gerizzim:
my dear fellow husband,

I understand to some extent your complain because am also in the home front like you.
Its good to have principle but in marriage we shouldn't be too rigid with our principle. You were raised in a home very different from your wife. Most of us in this our adult stage, what we do and act is a chronological build up of the pattern we saw our parents do it. so any deviation from what we grew up to to see and do as the acceptable standard is frowned at. You saw your mum kip napkin by the side of your dad's food on the table to dry his hands after washing and it became a norm and to you that is how it should be. so you have borrowed dat style which you are now using in your marriage. What is a standard to you may not be a standard to the other party. you may be right in your own eyes. your wife too may also be right in her own eyes too. the bone of contention is that you both are seeing same thing differently.
You need to twerk your principle a bit. DNT be too rigid. I understand you structure your marriage base on roles but stil you have to look beyond roles.Marriage makes one vulnerable.

There are soo many things you will not take when you were single but when you get married, there are a lot of shits you wil see plenty that you just have to painfully take not because you are weak but because you now have a partner dt views things differently from you.

you just have to relax your principle or rules a bit. You can relax your principle and still be assertive and firm in your home.

As for the salt issue, this is what you should do.
respond to her error with small humor.bring out the humorous side of you when she doesn't do it right. If you were the one doing the cooking urself wen you were single, you may complain abt her own salty meal but out of understanding because you too in d past go done mis-cook wen you dey single. I guess you were not the cooking type bk den. But if you can cook, you can tease her nd tell her you wil cook the next meal and make sure you do that nd do it well so that she too wil taste urs and know the difference of how you want her to be doing it.

As for the napkin wahala, you can try this.
If she is always forgetting to bring you napkin. You can permanently leave one on the table. when it's dirty, she wash nd returns it bk on the table you eat your meal.

It is actually YOU that will correct the wrong in that marriage. There are some social skills you appear not to have. Be tactful wen you relate with your wife. As I said, chip in some humor to ease tension once in a while. Be intentional in correcting all dis.

I repeat. Be intentional in all of this and get involved too. DNT sit and complain. All the best

Thanks,very helpful

Ishilove:
You are not handicapped. Get your cloth yourself

I am handicap,if is to big for you then move out.

Eunoiaa:
Then prepare it by yourself??


Imagine saying you want to leave home over this. Men sha.

I will never take a disobeying woman

wunmi590:


Bros, you need to calm down and don't let frustration lead you to push your wife outside...

The fact that you married your wife doesn't mean you have to always instruct her, like an errand girl..

Yes, she might be lacking in some areas, but that doesn't mean you can't help her out, with the example of napkin you gave to clean your hand, you can always pick it up yourself, don't let little issue become an issue that you won't be able to contain...


My wife knows me, if I ask her to bring something and she forget, I do it myself, she has alot on her head, taking care of the kids, kitchen is there, making sure the home is in great shape after the kids have messed it up..

Bros, is not easy, just sit her down and talk to her, you don't need to shout on her or be controlling her like you bought her from her parent..

There are many issues about her that is on my head that I don't forget,I hate correcting adult more than twice,I am such a very busy somebody,I over stress myself,sometime if I enter house the only thing I want to do is eat and sleep,I have told her several times how I want my food to be served,she will just do it for sometimes and go back to get default,.

Mercylike:
Will you shut up man?

Definitely your wife married the wrong man?

See you being petty, too petty..

What wrong if you get a cloth yourself?

Why should your wife inform you b4 she take her child out? Who does that ?


You obviously have a. Big issue and ur wife will regret marrying you....

He married a man with old useless mentality that women are slave to men in marriage

Yes old useless mentality,thank God you know that is how your parents did it that makes their marriage last,I want mine to kast like your parents so I need to follow that old useless mentality.when you marry your own,you can even go out without telling him ,you can even decide not to come home.ok

Mom007:
Chief commander... I salute u o!
Did you say u were correcting your wife abi your child? If she sets table and forgets tablecloth, and you stand up and get it yourself , will u die? Abi are u invalid? Honestly, you are not ok. If she cooks and salt is not to your liking and u add salt to it, will your name change? I don't know what they told you marriage is, or what you saw/ heard your father doing or saying to your mother that now made you think another person's child is your servant because she is your wife but i put it to u that you are not ready for a happy and healthy home.

So I can't correct my wife or what did you mean? My wife na my mate?

Paramount01:
So I can't correct my wife or what did you mean? My wife na my mate?

Mr. Man, who advised you to marry?

Marriage requires a certain level of emotional maturity. You might be over 40, but your emotional maturity is at the level of a teenager. You've got a loooong way to go to grow up.

I can't imagine having a quarrel with a woman over the things you mentioned. I can cook and bake better than most women. What's the big deal? Relax, okay? You don't have to nitpick everything she does, or you'll end up either driving her crazy or giving yourself high blood pressure. Marriage is like a school where you and your spouse learn and understand each other, and it takes a lot of hard work.

Paramount01:
I am very temperamental, I stayed together with my wife and my 1year old baby with a neighbour in the next compound where we share a fence,my wife always piss me off most times by not obeying or listen to what I say,if I tell my wife something now that I don't like , she might listen for a moment but with a short period of time you see my wife doing what I don't like again,I am tired

Don't serve me food without cloths to wash my hand after eating ,it is very disgusting to me using my hands to clean my head or chair after a meal, she will obey for some days but change within a few days to her normal ways

Don't take my baby anywhere without you pre-informing me before going, my wife will not listen, I have talked and talked.

Prepare to cook,not just enter kitchen and join anything you see together and say I should manage it,I provide all what that Is necessary for the cooking,I gave her money for soup at the begining of the months so that I wouldn't hear ,no money to buy this,just imagined,I have been eating food without salt for almost a month now,I don't want to confront hwr because I just assumed salt just finish until yesterday I still saw my food without salt ,asked her ," you no dey use salt cooked again ni or they warn you not to use salt in food again,but my wife said she forgot for more than a week,I can't confidently tell my colleague to test my food until I test it becaue I don't know if Maggie or too much pepe is inside,not that she don't know how to cook,but she don't use to be prepared to cook,anything she finds at home just join it together and take.


I just observed the only time my wife listened to corrections was when we had issues that the second neighbor would hear due to the fence we shared.

Pls how can I correct her without my neighbour hearing our arguments

jaksmillioniar:
Is normal for hubby and wife to quarelling most women have baby brain dat even if dat dey will do or say wat will make u mad. Sometimes u beat her but is not all d time u do dat. Its not nice to beat ur wife except if she really make u mad or insult ur mum. So how so u dicipline ur woman.
1 deny her sex most women know dat men love sex and use dat as advantage but pretend u Neva see her ignore her even if she try to tempt u Neva agree.she will feel pain. it will make her look like she is not beautiful enuf
2 dont eat her food I know dat one of d things dat pain woman pass in dis life is to reject her food . Dey hate wen dey cook and u refuse to eat is like to shoot dem gun.
3. Buy mama put in ur way from work dis will make her cry cos is like u are saying dat outside food is sweeter dan her food. No woman will not feel sad.
4 dont talk to her but be on phone for long. U can be talking to female college or friend in street. Be laughing or even ask what dey cook and u want to eat as joke.
5. Dont take her out for weekend.
6 u can shout at her or tell her bad word.
7 watch blue film in her present if on bed before u sleep u watch it in her face u are telling her dat u don't needs her and u prefer sometin else no woman in dis world dat wont cry and want to settle with de hubby. She will cry and later apologise

This is my boss’s advice. 😎

what stops you from getting the table cloth yourself after washing your hands?

Paramount01:
So I can't correct my wife or what did you mean? My wife na my mate?

See ooo, na them!
Ndi corrections officer

Paramount01:
There are many issues about her that is on my head that I don't forget,I hate correcting adult more than twice,I am such a very busy somebody,I over stress myself,sometime if I enter house the only thing I want to do is eat and sleep,I have told her several times how I want my food to be served,she will just do it for sometimes and go back to get default,.

Please just take it was with her, babies sometimes makes mother forget alot, because they have alot on their head...

I know how it feels to go out and look for money and spend almost 60% of the money on your wife and she's still not doing what you want..

I just want you to handle it with care, since you admit it that she's a good wife, so that you won't use little things to spoil your sweet home..

God will help you 🙏

Sapasenator:
Mr. Man, who advised you to marry?

Marriage requires a certain level of emotional maturity. You might be over 40, but your emotional maturity is at the level of a teenager. You've got a loooong way to go to grow up.

I can't imagine having a quarrel with a woman over the things you mentioned. I can cook and bake better than most women. What's the big deal? Relax, okay? You don't have to nitpick everything she does, or you'll end up either driving her crazy or giving yourself high blood pressure. Marriage is like a school where you and your spouse learn and understand each other, and it takes a lot of hard work.

Keep quiet, when you get married, you will understand what married men go through. Keep off this topic

To avoid stressing yourself always. Do your thing. Buy salt keep for house and . Learn to overlook certain things and caution her if it's getting too much. May God help you through your marriage because it's too early to start having headache it is well.

Man, lead your family by laying down yourself for them, you can be providing most of the basics at home but lacking in few, just a little assistance in some chores at can change the dynamics in that your home, get involved and some the things you see as work will be nothing afterall, (LEAD) not rule your home.

TheWinterBird:
Re. Her serving you food without cloth to wash your hands:

So... she serves you food, along with water to wash your hands, but no cloth [or towel] to dry your hands and it's the last part you're complaining about? Na wa oooooo. Why can't you get up to dry your hands yourself or is that too much for you to do? That will not reduce your being man; get up and go dry your hands. It's possible she forgets amidst trying to get everything done (going by your post, you probably don't help this woman at all with any chores in the home!!!), so you could get up to do that yourself. It's your type that will not want to lift a plate in the home to wash because your wife is a maid that will do everything. Na wa oooooo.

Another option is to be reminding her and doing it gently and respectfully: "Darling, can you please get me a cloth to dry my hands?" or "Darling, please get me a cloth to dry my hands". If you're doing that and speaking to her like sweetly, she will be remembering gradually.


Re. Her taking the baby out without informing you:

If you're not home and she needs to go somewhere important, is she supposed to call to ask for your permission before going, or leave her baby alone at home because you might not want her taking the child along? Oga, reason am na. This is a 1-year old, so it wouldn't even be a good idea to leave him/her with anyone else (other than you), hence it's best for the child to be with her mother when they need to go out and you're not around. I don't live in Nigeria and see a lot of new moms and their spouses here taking their babies (not even up to 1-year olds) out and about in strollers. They're usually in strollers that keep them protected away from the sun. I hope your wife has a good stroller like that, but if not, get her one! You obviously don't help this woman do anything at home and definitely not outside either, so I believe she's doing the best she can.


Re. the insufficient salt in food

Mr. Man, get a salt shaker (a little bottle/container where you put salt in and meant to be kept at the table where you eat in order to add it to food, if needed). A meal having little salt isn't a bad thing and is better than it being loaded with too much salt! It having little to no salt means you can always add salt when eating. Secondly, we all have different thresholds when it comes to tasting things like salt. It's possible she's one of those people who tastes food with little salt and can enjoy the meal like that. You've to inquire from her to determine if this is the case and if it is, stay with her in the kitchen (hopefully being in the kitchen would not induce any anger in you since you cannot get up to dry your own hands because you're too big of a man to do that) to show her how much salt you'll like her to be adding. That doesn't mean telling her to dump a gallon of salt in the pot and being inconsiderate of her own taste but coming to a compromise on how much salt would be cool for both of you. In the meantime, get a salt shaker like I suggested above and if you show her and you find the food is still lacking the amount of salt you like, then continuing using the salt shaker and add your own salt when eating.


As for your temperamental issue, get help. I don't know what she was thinking marrying someone "very temperamental" and seemingly sexist. You're close to turning her into a punching bag (I hope you're not already doing that) because of these small issues, therefore seek help before it gets to that stage.

my dad was also like this while growing up, though my Mom never complained but it made me my other siblings feel wronged n vowed never to marry such men even if they have billions of Dollars. Though Momsy left him the moment....I clocked 19yrs . Though she never remarried nor date anyone since then.. even with her extreme beauty.